Page 23

23

Nash

“There should be a clock in this room,” I mumble to myself as I continue to wait to be released.

I’m not stupid. I know what’s going on here. I’m not Micah’s favorite anymore. Once I tried to help Lara, he decided I wasn’t following the rules. So now I’m just another one of his guards. That’s why I’m still being kept here.

I pace back and forth across the width of the room, spinning on my toes instead of my heel when I get to the dresser on one side and the door on the other. Each time, I wonder if now is when someone is going to come back and release me.

When I reach the door again, I stop and wait, but nobody comes in. I did my time in the box. Why am I being punished like this?

A sound like footsteps coming toward the room makes my heart skip a beat, and I wait to see who it is. Micah’s probably still angry, so he’ll send someone else to deal with me. That’s fine. I don’t care who it is who springs me from here. I just want to get out.

For the third time in the last few minutes, I look up at the spot on the wall where there should be a clock and sigh. I have no idea what time it is. It’s still light out, and I’m guessing it’s maybe midday. My stomach grumbles, telling me it’s time to eat.

As I stand there lost in thought about what’s for lunch today, a knock at the door startles me, and I spin around to face whoever it is that’s about to come in. But all they do is knock again, so I yell, “Come in!”

I’m surprised to see Micah walk into the room. Quickly, I size up his expression. He looks sort of happy. Not ecstatic or anything, but not miserable or angry. That’s something.

He’s not wearing a shirt or shoes. At least that’s back to normal.

I bow and wait for him to tell me I can stand, but he just starts talking again. Maybe he doesn’t want any of us to bow anymore. Or maybe it’s because he’s planning to send me away?

That thought hits me like a punch to the chest. I’ve been with The Golden Light for so long I don’t know if I can make it out there in the world on my own again. Would Micah really force me out just because of one mistake?

“I’m glad to see you up and around, Nash. How are you feeling?”

“Fine. I’d like to go back to my room, though.”

He nods like he’s considering my request and smiles. “I think that can be arranged. I just wanted to make sure you were recovered after everything. Are you really feeling better?”

Frustration builds inside me and threatens to explode out of my mouth, but I keep calm and answer, “I feel fine, Micah. I’m hungry, so when I get out of here, I’m going to get some lunch at the mess hall, and then if it’s okay, I’d like to go back to my cabin. I’m sure I’ll be ready for work tomorrow morning.”

Holding up his hand like he wants to stop me, he shakes his head. “Let’s not worry about getting back to work, Nash. That will come in time. For now, I’m just happy to see you feeling better. Your idea of grabbing some lunch sounds good.”

Relief washes over me. I’m going to get out of here and back to my regular schedule, and nothing could make me happier. Once I get some food in my stomach, I’m sure I’ll feel even better.

“Thanks, Micah. I appreciate this.”

He pats me on the back and gives me a big smile. “I’m happy to help, Nash. Go eat and relax today. We’ll get back to work tomorrow.”

I don’t need to be told twice I can go, so I thank him again and hurry out of the room. A long brightly lit hallway greets me, and for a moment I don’t know which way to go. Where on the farm is this building that has enough space to fit a hallway this length?

None of that matters as much as my getting some lunch, so I go right out of the room and rush to where another hallway intersects this one. I see a door to the left and make my way toward it, still unsure where this building is on the farm.

It’s strangely quiet here, like there’s no one around but Micah and me. That doesn’t make any sense, though. There are nearly a hundred people who live on the farm with us.

Then again, if they’re all working as they’re supposed to, I guess there wouldn’t be much noise in the middle of the day. Still, something feels wrong.

I push the door open and step out into the hot summer day, happy to be free from whatever that was inside. He must have been pretty worried about what happened to me in the box to keep me cooped up for all that time.

Halfway across the compound, I notice no one is out but me. Did Micah finally realize that making those women work outside in the blazing hot sun is a bad idea? Maybe since he’s worried about having any more deaths happen here he decided to keep everyone indoors today.

When I reach the mess hall, no one’s around in there either. Strange.

I start walking toward the kitchen, but Micah walks out through the swinging doors with a tray of food in his hand. Pointing toward a table nearby, he says, “Let me get you settled. Sit down. I’ll get you a drink too.”

This is definitely odd. Micah has never served me once since I came here to the farm. Something must be wrong. Did he have a doctor come in while I was out of it and do tests on me? Am I sick?

Then the memory of every time Micah was furious with a member of The Golden Light flashes through my mind. He’s going to get rid of me. My helping Lara was too big a transgression, so he’s going to make me disappear.

I sit down on a bench and look down at my tray of food. I thought today was tacos, but this looks like Salisbury steak. Never my favorite, it looks like it’s being drowned in brown gravy with mushrooms. I hate mushrooms.

Micah sits down across from me and sets a cup of lemonade near my tray. “There you go. Enjoy!”

His enthusiasm for such a terrible meal doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want to eat this. The peas don’t look good either. The cook ruined them so they’re not green anymore but a sickly color resembling baby puke.

That leaves the single piece of bread up in the far right corner of the tray. There’s no butter, though, and as I look around for the bowl that’s supposed to be on the table, I see nothing. Great. A dry piece of bread. Wonderful lunch.

“What’s wrong?” Micah asks.

Shrugging, I pick up the bread and take a bite. “I thought today was tacos. I’m not a huge fan of Salisbury steak, and I hate mushrooms.”

“Why?”

I look across the table and see him waiting for my answer. He’s never been curious about my likes and dislikes before. Then again, I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned not liking something around him until now.

“They taste like dirt. I don’t want my food to taste like I’m eating it off the ground.”

He laughs at my explanation, as if anything I said was funny. “I guess you’re right. I never thought about it that way.”

I finish the piece of bread, wishing it had some taste or a hint of butter to it. My mouth dry, I gulp down some lemonade. At least that’s good.

“I wish there was something else I could give you to eat, Nash. I don’t want you to go hungry, but that’s all we have for lunch today. I think we’re having fish for dinner, though. Maybe you’ll like that later today?”

The way he’s talking to me is surreal. He’s the leader of The Golden Light. He is the light, for God’s sake. He gives orders, and people follow them. This doting version of Micah confuses me.

Even though I know I shouldn’t ask him questions since that’s not allowed, I can’t help myself. If he gets upset, I’ll blame my breach of etiquette on feeling under the weather.

“Why are you saying things like that? You’ve never cared about my eating before.”

My question gets me a stern look, but that passes quickly and is replaced by a far more pleasant expression. “I always care that you’re happy, Nash. I’m sorry if you haven’t seen that before.”

I hurry to make him understand I’m not saying he’s never cared. That would be tantamount to claiming he’s not the leader he’s always worked so hard to be.

“Oh, no. I don’t think that at all. I just wondered why you were here eating with me. I’m sure you have far more important people and business to focus on right now.”

Micah reaches over and pats the top of my hand as it rests on the table. “I have nothing more important to do at this moment, Nash. I hope the lemonade refreshed you. It’s a hot day out today, so keeping hydrated is important.”

I smile and take another sip of my drink before asking him about how different he looked the last time he visited me. “Why were you wearing a shirt and shoes yesterday?”

“What do you mean?”

“You never wear those, but yesterday you were wearing both. I know it was a hot day like today, so it seems odd that you chose to start wearing a shirt and shoes. I’m just wondering if something’s going on. As one of your guards, I should know about it if anything’s changed.”

He gives me a strange look like I’ve said something odd. Taking his time to respond, he answers, “I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Nash. I often wear clothes. Society generally frowns on people walking around naked. I do have new sneakers, though. Is that what you mean?”

Why is he talking about society and what it expects? This is The Golden Light. We don’t give a damn about what society thinks we should do to fit in. That’s one of the main reasons why Micah began this group. We don’t conform to what’s expected of us, so we left society to come live here on this farm.

“I mean none of this makes sense. You don’t care about society or wearing clothes. And stop acting like wearing shoes is perfectly normal for you. You never wear them or a shirt. What’s going on here?”

He pats my hand again to try to calm me down. “It’s okay, Nash. There’s nothing to be raising your voice about. We’re just having a friendly conversation, right?”

I pull my hand back and stand up from the table. “Stop acting like everything is the same as it’s always been. You don’t wear a shirt or shoes. Ever! And where is everyone today? Nearly a hundred people live here on this farm, but I didn’t see a single soul coming over here. Where are they? What have you done with them?”

Micah looks up at me, and I see not anger but worry in his eyes. Why?

“It’s okay, Nash. Just calm down. Everything is going to be fine. You said you wanted to go back to your room, so why don’t you do that for the rest of the day until dinner?”

Shaking my head, I try to speak, but nothing comes out. It’s all the better anyway since he’s speaking riddles today.

I need to get out of here and find Lara. She should have been outside so I could see her on my way here. Did Micah have Nadine do something with her?

Just before I reach the screen doors, I turn around and start to ask him, but it’s no use. He wouldn’t tell me anyway. Nadine has some special power over him, and I have nothing that can beat that.

He says something about going back to my room, but I can’t do that now. Something is very wrong here, and I need to find Lara. I promised her I’d get her phone first, though, so I need to do that before I get her so we can leave this place.

I step out into the hot sun as that thought fills my mind. I’ve never wanted to leave here until now. This is my home. After finding my girlfriend cheating on me, I thought I had nowhere to go. I was lost, and Micah saved me. He made me see there was more to life and I could have all I want if I just believed in myself.

Where is that man now? What has happened to him? What happened to the promise of great things coming to us if we allowed ourselves to believe we deserved them?

Something has changed with The Golden Light, and I don’t know what it is, but I can’t stay here anymore.