4. A Brandy a Day
“Well, Bingley, it seems unfortunate your angel cannot fly. That would have been a considerable improvement over visiting on horseback in the rain,” Darcy said over brandy in Bingley’s study at Netherfield, a bastion of peace in a noisy house.
To some, the statement may have sounded mean-spirited or petulant, and before he met Mr Gardiner, he might well have said worse and meant it. In this case, though, Bingley could readily detect that it was more wistful than censorious.
“Aye, there’s the rub. I wonder if this was a matchmaking scheme.”
“It probably was, but it does not change much. Keep in mind that Longbourn is unlikely to have dedicated carriage horses. Those they keep are almost certainly shared with the home farm, and even occasionally with the tenants. At this time of year, they are often needed in the fields. Miss Bennet may not have realised it was likely to rain. She does seem like the optimistic sort.”
Bingley gave that some thought. “In that case, I would call it a modestly bad judgement call. I should hate to be called to account for my own stupidity, so perhaps the benefit of the doubt is in order.”
Darcy chuckled. “She is presently being called to account by a fever, so I believe she may consider her debt paid. That said, it is equally likely the ride was a scheme to throw her into your company more. It would not stretch credulity to believe she expected the rain to keep her overnight but not stuck in bed with a cold.”
Bingley frowned, but it did make a certain amount of sense. “If that be the case, I suppose we will never know who the instigator was. I can well imagine Mrs Bennet demanding it, and Miss Bennet acting as an obedient daughter, regardless of her opinion. Either way, ‘tis hardly a capital crime.”
“I suppose time will tell. How do you get on with the rest of the family. With the amount of attention you pay to the eldest—which I recommend you moderate slightly—you should be taking their measure just in case things progress to a closer alliance.”
“You do not oppose a closer alliance on principle?” Bingley asked in some surprise.
“‘It is not my business. It is hardly as if they would be making an alliance with me. I will point out they do not seem to be dowered very well, and the manners of much of the family—especially Mrs Bennet—seem a bit lacking, but to be honest, anybody with your sisters can handle a noisy mother-in-law. She is the daughter of a gentleman and presumably knows how to keep house in a country estate. She appears to be pretty and kind, so what would you have to complain about?”
Bingley boomed out in laughter, while Darcy joined with somewhat less exuberance. “I like this more amiable Darcy.”
“We shall see. What think you of the rest of the sisters?”
Bingley gave it a bit of thought. “The two youngest are silly flirts who should not be out in society—but, as you pointed out, a man with my sisters has little room to complain. Miss Mary is a bit odd, but certainly harmless.”
“Agreed.”
“Miss Elizabeth is a whole different kettle of fish.”
“How so?”
“She interrogated me!” Bingley stated emphatically. “Oh, she was polite, and she was subtle, and she never veered outside the bounds of propriety, but at this point she knows everything there is to know about me, and I know very little about her—aside from the obvious fact that she is pretty, clever and kind, which anybody of any sense at all can tell. I imagine even you caught that much.”
“Interesting! I should point out that you are not exactly the hardest man to interrogate in the world, so she would hardly qualify as a French spy.”
“True… too true… but I have never had such a skilful interview in my life. I was impressed.”
“Interesting,” Darcy replied.
Bingley asked nonchalantly, “Did she subject you to the same, or are you exempt because you are not romancing her sister?”
“Not exactly,” Darcy replied pensively.
“What has she said to you, if I may be so bold as to ask?”
“It’s the oddest thing,” Darcy replied, still trying to work it all out.
“I am on pins and needles. What has she said, exactly?”
“Nothing!”
“What do you mean, ‘nothing’?”
“Exactly what I said. Nothing! She has not said a single word directly to me. A month into the acquaintance, I do not believe we have even been introduced, and it has been long enough that it would be awkward at this point.”
“How in the world has that come about? Did you frighten her off at the assembly?”
“I was, as you rather shockingly observed, on my best behaviour that night. I cannot see how I could possibly have offended her.”
“Did you try to get an introduction. Miss Mary is a stickler for propriety, and if Miss Elizabeth is the same, then it is your responsibility to ask for the introduction, so she would not dare approach you.”
“Thank you for explaining the basics of propriety,” Darcy said, but gave a good-sized chuckle and took another sip of brandy for good measure.
“I am quite in suspense. What happened?”
Darcy leaned back for the story.
“As you noticed, she disappeared about the time you suggested I dance with her. It was not a problem, as she was far from the only lady in want of a partner. ”
“You know my opinion on the subject.”
“I noticed her the rest of the night. If nothing else, she was certainly not begging for an introduction and a dance… far from it. I noticed she is quite attractive, with a light and pleasing figure, an enchanting laugh, and an easy way with everybody. As you so aptly observed, there were a sizeable number of very pretty ladies at the assembly, so she did not stand out too much. I wanted to get to know her, but not with any urgency. Though I paid attention, I could not be rude to my partners, so I never quite got close enough to pull it all together, nor did I neglect my actual dance partners.”
“Fitzwilliam Darcy… chasing a lady… the world has run amok!” Bingley burst out with a hearty laugh.
“Hardly! At any rate, the next time I noticed her was at Lucas Lodge. I spent some time hanging about the edge of her conversations, trying to not be too obnoxious about it. I found her discussions interesting and intelligent, but I felt awkward about asking for an introduction or just joining in, if you can believe that.”
“I can well believe it. You rarely have to put yourself out.”
“I got more and more curious,” Darcy admitted sheepishly. “I was beginning to get the idea that she was avoiding me, though as you suggested in your interrogation, she was quite subtle about it. She had a knack for disappearing right when I was working up my nerve to speak to her.”
“Sounds frustrating.”
“It was. After she played, which I enjoyed very much, Sir William ambushed her and presented her hand to me as a dance partner. You can just imagine the man.” He deepened his voice until it boomed. “My dear Miss Eliza, why are you not dancing? Mr Darcy, you must allow me to present this young lady to you as a very desirable partner. You cannot refuse to dance, I am sure when so much beauty is before you.” ‘
He sighed. “He took her hand and presented it towards me. I was still a bit shocked, so it took me a moment to get my wits about me. Before I could echo the request, she turned to Sir William and answered him! I appreciate your efforts Sir William, but I am not dancing tonight.”
Bingley stared in consternation for a moment, then burst out laughing.
“She curtseyed and walked away without another word. I spent the next five minutes trying to decide if she was being shy, generous, or rude.”
“It is certainly peculiar.”
“And now she is here, in this house, and still has not said a word to me. I am beginning to be apprehensive. Mayhap she has some prior acquaintance, though I cannot imagine what it is.”
“If she had, there would be little she could do save avoid you, presuming she only knows you by reputation.”
The men thought about it a bit, and finally Bingley offered, “Well, she cannot avoid you forever. She will not stay in her sister’s room the whole time. Basic politeness demands she spend at least a few minutes in the drawing room. I suppose we shall see what we shall see.”
“That we will, Bingley… that we will.”
~~~~~
The question was answered at half past six when Miss Elizabeth appeared for dinner. Darcy took that to mean Miss Bennet was nowhere near death’s door, but then had to wonder what Mr Gardiner would think of such an uncharitable thought. He resolved to be distantly polite and see what the lady did for the moment.
Bingley was all concern for Miss Bennet’s health, as anybody would expect. To his civil inquiries, Miss Elizabeth simply related that her sister was by no means better.
The Bingley sisters, on hearing this, repeated three or four times how much they were grieved, how shocking it was to have a bad cold, and how excessively they disliked being ill themselves; and then thought no more of the matter: and their indifference towards Jane when not immediately before them was about as expected.
Darcy had no idea what Miss Elizabeth thought of the sisters, but if she had more sense than a donkey, she ought to dislike them on principle.
The dinner did not advance his chances to speak to her in the slightest. She arrived in the drawing room at the last possible moment, though whether that was by happenstance or design was impossible to determine. She had not specifically avoided him, but they were only in the room a minute or two before Bingley led her to the dining room, where Miss Bingley had placed her as far from Darcy as possible. There, she seemed to endure Hurst after making a few attempts to speak to him.
Darcy could not pay any real attention to the lady of his fascination, because the bane of his existence still had not absorbed the obvious fact that she was of no interest to him. He spent the long and tedious meal hearing on dits of people in town about whom he did not care in the least.
After dinner, Miss Elizabeth returned to her sister, and that was the end of it for a time.
The Bingley sisters carried on for quite some time about the Bennet sisters’ dowries… and their manners… and Miss Elizabeth’s shocking three-mile walk… and the mud on her petticoats… and her blowsy hair… and her conceited independence… and the obvious problem that they had an uncle who was an attorney and another who was a tradesman in Cheapside, apparently in the mistaken belief that an uncle in trade was somehow worse than a father in trade.
“If they had uncles enough to fill all Cheapside,” cried Bingley, “it would not make them one jot less agreeable.”
“But it must very materially lessen their chance of marrying men of any consideration in the world,” replied Darcy, mainly because he wanted to end the discussion with the less said about Cheapside the better.
As far as Bingley’s sisters were concerned, Darcy wanted them unaware that he even knew where Cheapside was, let alone had recently engaged with a man whose business should never even be mentioned in polite company (not that politeness was the order of the day in the Bingley parlour). His sister’s reputation required a certain amount of discretion, so any discussion of that part of town was best avoided entirely or shut down as quickly as possible.