Page 19

19. The Dutch Uncle

As the men left the Turner’s coffeehouse, the colonel observed, “Well, that went better than we had any right to expect.”

“You are somehow surprised that if we throw money around, they would be willing to catch it?” Darcy quipped half-seriously.

“When you put it like that, I have no idea what we were worried about.”

They continued on in pensive silence for a time, and the colonel asked, “You say you have found more?”

“Yes, two more. One is apparently in Lambton of all places, and not in any immediate distress. The other is in a small market town in Bedfordshire. I will probably visit the local and then decide about the other.”

“You are committed to this course, then?”

“I am. The expense is barely noticeable. During the child’s lifetime she will hardly cost any more than my boots, and far less than my horseflesh.”

“Ah, the vagaries of rich and poor.”

“Yes,” Darcy added, not feeling much like stirring that particular pot.

It did seem unfair that he and Bingley received the vast bulk of their father’s wealth and responsibilities, while daughters and younger sons got by on scraps. It was the way of the world, but there was presently not much he could do about it. He strongly encouraged his cousin to take as much advantage of his wealth as his pride allowed, but there were limits. He was happy to see the Turners were considerably less stubborn than his cousin, who had turned down several offers of assistance. It was no surprise that Mrs Turner was of a practical bent, but Mr Turner was a military man, and you just never knew how much pride and hubris drove their thinking.

Fitzwilliam asked, “On another subject, how is Georgiana doing? And while we are at it, where is she? ”

Darcy chuckled grimly. “One question more or less answers the other.”

“Can you get any more confusing?”

“Confusing? Me? I could hardly compete with Miss Elizabeth Bennet, so why bother?”

“Was that intended to be an answer? If so, it is woefully short of the mark.”

Darcy sighed. “Georgiana has tested Mrs Annesley’s patience to the limit. I do have great faith in that lady’s abilities under ordinary circumstances, but whatever was happening in our ward’s mind was beyond her abilities. She made a suggestion, and I took her up on it.”

“Can you be more specific?”

“Certainly. I sent her to Gardiner’s course.”

“YOU WHAT?” the colonel bellowed. He followed that by sitting back in his seat, because he did not actually have any idea what that entailed.

“My apologies that I did not consult you, but I was at the end of my tether.”

“What exactly is this course?”

“Gardiner said I just had to trust him. They have trained hundreds of girls, but they all remain anonymous. She must participate for a fortnight, during which she has effectively dropped off the edge of the world. We cannot speak to them, write to them, or even know where they are, precisely.”

The colonel whistled. “Putting a lot of faith in a man you barely know.”

“He has already saved her once, he passed up three good opportunities to extract funds from me, and we have spoken for hours. I do trust him. That said, the course is not exactly free.”

“Do tell! How much did it set you back?”

Darcy chuckled. “Gardiner says he charges what a man can reasonably afford. For some guardians, it is free or ten pounds. For me, it was a thousand pounds.”

“THOUSAND!” The colonel gasped.

Darcy laughed heartily, even though his initial reaction had been nearly identical, especially since Gardiner was in a joking mood and told him the price while he was drinking some excellent brandy.

“Gardiner made a good point… actually two. The first is that, unless I am the dumbest investor ever born, I probably make at least five percent return on my investments.”

“I imagine you do better than that.”

“I do. He very reasonably pointed out that the return on Georgiana’s dowry alone, just in the time since her rescue, made me more than that. From that standpoint, the course is free—or even profitable . In fact, he could reasonably charge even more, because if he can keep her from doing anything stupid, I can expect to gain double or treble that amount just by keeping her single for another year or two. I make money on it every year, while the amount of the dowry remains constant.”

The colonel whistled long and low. “I am impressed with his reasoning. I suspect his income is far greater than his address suggests.”

“Most likely. Had we entered his home that first night you would have thought yourself on Park Street. That said, he only keeps a small portion of that fee. The course is overseen by a woman named Mrs Black. She invented it, developed the curriculum, and teaches it. He says the course is of the nature that she takes considerable reputational risk managing it, and she is entitled to charge what it is worth. That is the reason for the huge differential between what a modest man pays and a wealthy one.”

“The man sounds like a radical, though someone in my position should take note.”

Just at that moment, Darcy got an excellent idea as if struck by lightning. At least one of his objectives in life had foundered on men’s pride, both his and others. He suspected Miss Elizabeth would more likely call it pig-headed stubbornness, and he could not necessarily argue. He thought he may as well seize the moment.

“Speaking of that, the discussion made me think of something that seems obvious in retrospect.”

“Do tell?”

“You bear half the responsibility for Georgiana but are not compensated. Basic fairness suggests you should get at least half the benefit from her dowry, or all, since it is her money, not mine.”

“Is this yet another scheme to throw money at someone you feel is in need without injuring his pride?”

“Not really, but would it be so terrible if it were? I have yet to see a first son complain that he did not earn his father’s largess.”

The colonel turned pensive, so Darcy continued his assault.

“You know I am right. If you got an inheritance from a distant uncle, you would take it without a second thought.”

“I suppose so. Does it matter if I accept gracefully, reluctantly, or not at all?”

“The bit is in my teeth.”

The colonel boomed out in laughter. “I shall say it again, Darcy. You have it bad.”

Darcy did not have the heart to argue the point, especially since he was not at all convinced the colonel was mistaken.

~~~~~

“Gentlemen, welcome,” Gardiner said jovially the next evening when the men came to dinner. “Alas, I have not a single niece for your company today, but I suppose you can make do with my wife and daughters.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you at last, Mr and Mrs Gardiner,” the colonel replied with matching humour.

The Gardiner children were allowed to visit with the company as long as they were well behaved, and Fitzwilliam had to laugh that the eldest Miss Gardiner was, as his cousin had mentioned, around twelve. Still, he found the child precocious, and as he may have expected, intelligent and well-read. He wondered how much of that might be because of the phantom elder Miss Gardiner.

The dinner they sat down to was pleasant. Darcy had not managed to spend much time with Mrs Gardiner in his previous visits, so he was pleasantly surprised to find her hailing from Lambton. She was a decade older, and they ran in different circles, but they still had enough connexions in common to pleasantly discuss the happenings about the neighbourhood. Darcy wondered if his cousin’s second victim was from Lambton, but he was not about to bring it up. Perhaps, he might do so with Mr Gardiner, but he certainly was not comfortable enough to do it with the lady of the house.

After dinner, they separated the sexes for the remainder of the afternoon as Mrs Gardiner had things to do with the children and the governess, and she suspected they had some tedious business to discuss anyway.

When the men got down to business, Darcy began. “I told my cousin about your course, and our ward’s participation in it.”

The colonel weighed in. “That is actually a damn-fine idea, if you ask me Mr Gardiner.”

“Just Gardiner will do, gentlemen.”

They nodded, and offered the same privilege, then Fitzwilliam continued. “It seems rather basic when you get right down to it.”

“How so?” Gardiner asked.

“When most men think about protecting our charges, we all seem to do the same things. Surround them with footmen, governesses, and companions—then just hope one of them teaches them how to avoid doing stupid things. It makes no sense when you step back and think about it.”

“Like going into battle without training your men, I suppose,” Gardiner replied.

Darcy added, “Yes, I am finding much about this business gives me much to think about, and things to change. Many of the things that are just handed down from father to son without question now seem obsolete at best.”

“It is always best to question things,” Gardiner said. “You cannot question everything, and even if you decide some system has little to recommend it, you cannot change the entire world nor the whole race of man. You need to be strategic about it.”

“Any idea how the ladies are doing in the course?” the colonel asked.

“Do you think I would tell you if I did?”

“Cannot hurt to try,” Fitzwilliam replied with a laugh. “But, no I do not. You do not strike me as a man who blows about with the wind.”

“In that, I hope you are correct.”

“Can you tell me about how the school came about?” Fitzwilliam asked, quite interested in the strategy portion of it.

“I can tell you my part only. As you may surmise, I employ women and men to protect my charges. They all have to be somewhat clever about remaining unnoticed. Mrs Black is particularly good at taking the appearance of a servant, milkmaid, governess, companion, lady, or whatever she needs to be.”

“She sounds formidable.”

“That she is, Colonel. That she is. One day, she said her job would be much easier if her charges would do slightly fewer bone-stupid things. I asked her to elaborate, and she did. Like you, I had thought about it in the traditional way, and she made me reexamine the business. My epiphany came some years before yours, but from the same source.”

“Remarkable,” Darcy said. “Do you suppose we could meet her?”

“I will put it to her, but she is a very private person, so do not hold your breath. She has yet to willingly meet a single guardian.”

“Pity,” Fitzwilliam replied.

Darcy agreed, but nodded and let it go—for the moment.

Gardiner continued, “She started out just giving each new client a bit of good sense and then expanded the curriculum from a few hours to a fortnight. I periodically interview her graduates to ensure they seem satisfied, and I have followed up with those that graduated years ago. I am more than happy with the results, and it most certainly helps my business.”

The men took a few sips to absorb the discussion.

Gardiner said, “She would be embarrassed I mentioned this, so you should keep it under your hat, but she was instrumental in rescuing your ward. She was in Ramsgate working with another client and noticed a disturbing pattern. I do not believe she knew who she rescued, but she certainly pegged that Wickham fellow for the scoundrel he is.”

“I hear he is manning the King’s Navy these days,” Fitzwilliam quipped.

“More likely feeding the King’s Fish, but perhaps he is tougher than he looks,” Gardiner replied with a laugh.

They ended the night an hour later, not much better informed, but certainly better brandied, and doubly curious about the redoubtable Mrs Black.