Page 23

23. Hows and Whys

A quarter-hour later, they were returning to the parlour in small groups, chatting excitedly, when Mr Darcy stepped up to Elizabeth and said, “Miss Rainbow, would I be asking too much to have a private word?”

Elizabeth laughed gaily. “Very clever… I just might use that.”

“Feel free,” he replied with a smile.

“Is the word about your sister? If so, you are premature.”

“Not about her… not at this time anyway.”

She pointed to another doorway. “I admit the rules of propriety do not necessarily apply when I am out and about my business, but they do in this house. I will leave the door open.”

He nodded and offered his arm, which she took after only a slight hesitation. He briefly wondered if that was because she was not comfortable with him, or she was just unaccustomed to having gentlemen in the house.

“Your parley, sir,” she said neutrally when they were far enough from the door to prevent eavesdropping.

He shuffled a bit before he could begin.

“I am uncertain this is the best time, but I wish to say something before you decide what to reveal over the rest of the evening, just in case my request has any bearing.”

“I see. I usually think that once a decision has been made, there is little profit in messing about. If you have something to say, I will listen,” she replied, with her curiosity aroused.

“I would like to court you,” he blithely replied.

She stared at him a bit, not quite comprehending the words.

“Might you repeat that?”

“I would like to court you. If that is insufficiently specific, I am asking your permission to call on you and spend enough time together to see if we find each other suitable for marriage.”

She stared for a couple of minutes, starting and stopping her reply several times before she got it out.

“I congratulate you, sir. I like to think I can read men like a book with very large type, and I habitually examine every interaction for hidden meaning—but you have caught me flatfooted.”

“Does that happen often?”

“A couple times a year, I imagine.”

Darcy chuckled, glad that the tension and fear of being dismissed out of hand was dissipating.

They stared a minute, then she finally asked, “Why?”

“For the usual reasons, I imagine.”

“You do not do things for the usual reasons, and very few usual reasons would apply to someone like me anyway. Once again, I ask you why? ”

He blew out a breath, and chuckled. “My cousin and Georgiana’s other guardian, Colonel Fitzwilliam, has taken to saying—and I quote, ‘ you have it bad, cousin’, for the previous fortnight.”

She laughed, though it seemed clear she was still somewhat nervous. “It would be sufficient if you wished to court the colonel.”

He chuckled again but then became serious. “I want to court you because you fascinate me… you attract me… you excite me. I am vastly intrigued by your looks, your mind, your ambitions, your bravery… all of it, really. I have been well and truly attracted to exactly two women in my life.”

“I suppose I am one of them?”

“Obviously.”

“I am curious who the other is, and why you are not courting her.”

“Mrs Black,” he blithely replied, then laughed just slightly.

She stared at him for a minute in deep thought.

“You do realise that I have no need to marry at all, and that though I am the daughter of a gentleman, I have been unambiguously in trade the past several years, so my condition in life is decidedly below yours. You should also note that, while I will curtail or reduce my personal instruction if and when I wed, I do not plan to give up this school… ever. ”

“Yes, I understand all that, and find it admirable,” he replied, though if he were honest with himself, he would have to admit he had not thought of half of her assertions. It did not, however, change his ambitions.

“Most men would not,” she stated emphatically.

“I am not most men. If I wanted the same sort of wife that most first circle men want, do you truly think it has been beyond my ability to attract one for a decade?”

She stared at him unnervingly for a moment. “I suppose I understand. After hearing what I have said, and assuming that sooner or later I will say something even more distressing; are you still interested?”

“More than ever! I do not imagine a squeamish man is for you, nor a docile or typical woman for me.”

“Why tell me before I finish my tale? The smarter move would be to continue the evening in case there are any fatal impediments, at which point you could withdraw without me detecting your interest.”

“Basic fairness. I hope you will tell me your story, with or without your charges in the room. Regardless of what you decide to reveal or hide in the next hours, for me to have this goal in mind, with you unaware, seems… dishonest.”

“I will give you that,” she said pensively, then stood thinking for a moment.

“Are you unbothered by the fact that I disabled Mr Wickham in the middle of a dance without breaking a sweat, with nobody noticing, and could have killed him with little more effort?”

“To tell the truth, I was fascinated by Miss Elizabeth Bennet before I left Meryton and might well have already returned if not for your family. Even with them, I had not given up, and I honestly believe I would have pursued you ere long… even if just to shut up my annoying cousin.”

She laughed but gestured for him to continue.

“I was even more intrigued to learn the curious history of ‘Miss Gardiner’ from the Turners, then piqued by Mrs Black, after hearing about her from your uncle, then triply beguiled by Mrs Duff after witnessing you dispatch the bane of my existence.”

He smiled ruefully. “To be absolutely clear, I am not disconcerted—I am impressed. Lucky me, I do not have to pick between the only three women who have ever fascinated me.”

She stared a moment, and finally asked, “Are you bothered by the fact that I trained your sixteen-year-old sister to do the same or worse and will similarly instruct every daughter or niece I ever have.”

“Once again, more impressed than bothered. Only a weak man would let squeamishness dissuade him.”

She shrugged. “By that definition, I can assure you that the world is chock full of squeamish men.”

“Fortunately for both of us, we need not concern ourselves with the rest of the rabble. We only need one partner who matches us.”

Elizabeth was still thinking about what he said when Jane poked her head in the door to ask if they would be delayed much longer.

She sent her back to the parlour then finished answering his question.

“Listen to the rest of my story and sleep on it. If you are still interested, return in the morning and I will give you an answer.”

“It will be my pleasure,” he replied with a smile that Elizabeth thought clearly demonstrated exactly why he could not be as jovial as Mr Bingley. He would not last a week in the marriage mart if he openly displayed it on a regular basis.

~~~~~

Once everyone was seated, Elizabeth began. “I have decided, very much against my usual inclinations, to trust all of you with my story.”

Lydia said, “I know I am the least trustworthy woman in the room, but I swear on my life to keep it to myself.”

Amber added, “If I am ever tempted to speak, I need only remember you felling that man like an oak tree without batting an eye.”

Everyone laughed and the tension eased.

Elizabeth sighed and looked at Darcy nervously to find him watching her intently. Subtlety did not seem to be his strong suit.

A few days earlier, she had overheard Mary wondering aloud if she even liked men at all, and it had made her wonder. She certainly liked some men. Her business centred around protecting ladies from scoundrels, so by necessity she spent most of her time thinking of and dealing with the worst. Even then, starting with her Uncle Gardiner (but not her father), she could name dozens of very good men.

Even though she had to concentrate on the worst of the lot, she had no real qualms about the rest. She had also never felt the slightest flutter of real attraction for any man, and certainly nothing like love.

She had never even considered a possibility with Mr Darcy, any more than she would consider a relationship with a prince. It was just not something one thought of.

She wondered if she might have been attracted to him if he had attended dinner and been polite that first night. It was hard to say, since the man trying to court her had improved manners via his relationship with her uncle. She doubted she would have gotten along with Mr Darcy if she had met him before his reformation. Her instructions to her students to disregard first impressions had its limits.

Now that she apparently had a handsome suitor, who already knew her darkest secret , she began to gain enthusiasm for the idea of courtship. He openly admitted she was the only eligible woman to ever catch his attention, so she thought it only fair to admit that she did find his attentions… interesting. She also had to admit that she had never been entirely indifferent to him, despite her protestations to the contrary.

She knew how minds worked enough to be aware that true indifference could easily be triggered by simply considering a man not worth forming the slightest attachment to.

All in all, she eventually decided Mr Darcy intrigued her more than enough to see what he was about.

~~~~~

Her woolgathering finally complete, Elizabeth began quietly.

“Most of you know the basic story. Longbourn is entailed, and the Bennets turned a blind eye to the future and saved nothing . Mrs Bennet has obsessed about getting her daughters married before her husband dies, which is surely weeks or months away. That means we all had to come out at fifteen, and she threw us at any reasonably solvent man who came along.”

She stopped and stared around at her audience, then finally at Darcy who had taken the seat next to her (apparently just to disconcert her).

Everyone nodded, since all but Miss Darcy had seen it personally or experienced it.

Elizabeth frowned. “I came out at fifteen and at first, it seemed fun and exciting. Most of the boys at the assembly were ones I had known for years, so the possibility of finding a husband seemed remote, but I did enjoy dancing, and some quite mild bits of flirting.”

“I have been out in that society for seven years, Lizzy,” Jane stated. “I appreciate your sentiment but wonder why you did not survive the second month, if you admit it was fun and exciting.”

Elizabeth sighed and frowned, staring at her sister and wondering how Jane saw the world. Had her sister been questioning this for five years, or five minutes?

“Mr Bingley is not the first wealthy man to lease Netherfield. For the first month after I came out, you were on that trip to the seaside with Charlotte Lucas... remember?”

Jane nodded confusedly.

“While you were gone, I met Mr Jacobson. ”

Jane and Mary gasped while Lydia and Kitty just looked bewildered, all for the same reason. None had ever heard the name.

Darcy frowned enough to crack stone, since he suspected he knew where the story was heading.

“Do not be surprised if you never heard of him. The three youngest were still in the schoolroom, and not very interested in their elder sisters. Jane was away with Charlotte.”

Everyone nodded, so she continued.

“The man was everything handsome and charming,” Elizabeth said with a sigh. “You all remember the mannerisms I warned you about with the soldiers… well, he had all of them, and I fell for his bait.”

Now everyone was frowning, but she continued quickly.

“I do not mean I was ready to sneak off with him at a ball,” she said with a glance at Lydia. “Nor was I expecting his addresses just yet, but like any young girl in the throes of first infatuation, I imagined it. For the most part, though, I just thought him fascinating. He was all a young man ought to be—handsome, lively, well-mannered, rich . My mother loved him! ”

She was showing the first real signs of nervousness any of them had ever seen, but she ploughed on relentlessly.

“A few weeks in, I began to suspect something was not quite right . I could not put my finger on it, but I started feeling… cautious. He was just a bit too polite, too determined, too complimentary about my looks or wit, too quick to profess feelings that had not had time to develop.”

She glanced around to find everyone hanging off the edges of their seats, then stared straight ahead as if reliving a memory.

“At a ball in Stoke, he apparently decided he had been patient enough. I was cautious, but not as cautious as I now teach. Even so, he engaged in his machinations. I never worked out if my mother was complicit in his scheme, or simply na?ve and careless. I still do not know for that matter.”

She stared around again. “I ultimately ended up locked with him in the library.”

They all gasped, though it had been obvious where the story was heading for some time.

She laughed lightly but grimly.

“Unfortunately for him, I played there as a child. We were on the second floor, but the room had a perfectly acceptable tree outside the window. I entered a few minutes before his arrival, so I was lucky enough to be away from the door. He locked it and started calling out for me, which was when I became alarmed. Before he found my hiding spot, I jumped through the window and climbed down the tree. If I was in any other house or it was winter, I would have been ruined, but I managed to return to the party with none the wiser.”

They all stared, and Kitty finally said, “That must have been frightening!”

“Terrifying!”

Elizabeth sighed resignedly with a frown that could curdle milk.

“I asked my mother point blank if she knew he planned to entrap me. She denied any knowledge of the plan specifically, but then informed me, in no uncertain terms, that she had no objection to the scheme, nor should I, as long as a proposal was forthcoming.”

“Good Lord!” Jane said, while Darcy and Kitty swore under their breaths in far more colourful language.

Elizabeth thought some more. “After I confronted my mother, I walked home early, through the fields, in the dark, because the man was still prowling around the house. When I arrived at Longbourn, I confronted my father directly. Anyone care to guess what he said?”

Nobody had the nerve to take on that challenge, so they were rather startled when her voice became low and mannish.

“I congratulate you, Lizzy. Next to being married, a girl likes to be crossed a little in love now and then. It is something to think of, and it gives her a sort of distinction among her companions. Should you manage to bring him or another man to the point, bring them to me.”

The revelation was met with stunned silence that could be cut with a knife.

Darcy was the first to eventually recover. “Was that it?” he asked, in a tone indicating he would be happy to discuss the matter with the indolent man at his earliest convenience.

“Not quite,” said she, then after a short pause, she added in that man’s voice again, “ I shall be glad to have the library to myself as soon as may be."

Darcy was halfway out of the chair before he realised that he had nowhere to go and nobody to fight.

“I took what little money I had saved and left for the post coach at sunrise.”

She looked intently at Maria.

“I planned to go alone, but your father found me at the station. He did not ask intrusive questions, but the man’s attentions had not gone unnoticed. Sir William suspected there were very few reasons for a young lady to be dancing and flirting with a gentleman one night, and alone on the post the next day. He very kindly escorted me to my uncle’s house and returned.”

“Astonishing,” Maria breathed in awe, both for her father’s actions and his good sense in keeping it to himself.

“Charlotte took this course several years ago, with one of my other instructors, for obvious reasons. I suspect Lady Catherine has a rude awakening coming,” Elizabeth replied with a smirk.

Everyone burst out laughing, and the tension was released. It seemed obvious why Elizabeth had done what she did, but she continued after a moment.

“My uncle confronted my parents, and their argument was one for the ages. In the end, between my uncle and my father, we came to an uneasy truce that lasted five years. I was but fifteen and my father had absolute power over me. Eventually, we agreed that I could spend half or more of my time in London, as long as I left the raising of the rest of his daughters to himself. I had to be at Longbourn at least five months of each year, and I had to keep my thoughts on my parents and sisters to myself. I have been biting my tongue for five years.”

“Did you worry at all about us, Lizzy?” Jane asked in a harder voice than she customarily used.

Elizabeth stared at her shoes for several minutes and finally looked at her sister.

“I have done my best to ensure you did not encounter any especially bad men, but otherwise, I kept the bargain with our father. I had little choice. He is indolent, but capricious when crossed, and he was never willing to sign my care over to my uncle. I think he enjoyed holding it over my head. I did what I could, but it was a bad position to place a child in.”

“And you never thought to tell us?”

“Which of you can be reliably trusted with secrets?” Elizabeth snapped angrily.

Mary and Jane looked somewhat put out by the assertion, but both would eventually agree with the assessment.

“What happened to the man?” Jasmine asked.

“The Runners were new back then, and Uncle was nowhere near as flush or well-connected as he is now. That was lucky for me, because I was allowed to go to work for him when he needed my help more than he worried about the propriety of it. That first year was difficult for both of us, but as you can see, it worked out well in the end. There were certain risks involved, but I have emerged the better person for the experience. I would not trade what I have done for the world, nor would I condemn any other lady to the same fate. It was the forge that formed me, but forges are hot.”

They all stared, and she gave Darcy a hard look, which he took to mean he could criticise Gardiner at his peril. He nodded to acknowledge that he was not there and had no right to an opinion.

Elizabeth sighed. “In case you are curious about my erstwhile suitor, the man turned out to be an even bigger liar than his history suggested. He was not even using his real name, because he wanted to keep his wild oat sowing away from his father’s notice. In the end, his status is too lofty for our usual methods of disposal—which I will not elaborate on. The only way I could hurt him would be to kill him and dispose of the body, and that causes its own inconveniences.”

The matter-of-fact way she made the statement chilled everyone in the room, but she continued, “Tempting as it is, I have never been quite ready for that step.”

They all spent a few minutes trying to absorb the implications.

Eventually, Darcy asked, “Have you kept track of the cretin?” in a tone suggesting he might want to hunt the man down himself.

Elizabeth looked at him for some time, and finally said, “I check on him periodically.”

She paused for quite some time staring Darcy in the eye, which had the rest of the room’s inhabitants wondering if they had learnt enough about how to register the eyes’ actions in that second day of training to work out what was happening. They all concluded that they had no idea.

Elizabeth finally said, “I have been reliably informed he recently suffered a lost tooth and broken nose.”

Darcy’s grin turned downright feral, which confused the ladies even more.

Elizabeth was exhausted and tired of rehashing the past, so she suggested it had been a big night, and they should all seek their beds.

Darcy paused on his way out the door. “I will see you tomorrow.”