Page 29

29. Seasons of Love

A week later, Lydia asked at dinner, “Lizzy, are we still going to the theatre?”

“Yes, but I have to think about when. Christmas is coming up, and you are all staying in town, so there is no hurry. I think we should delay until our courtship is public.”

“I am curious. How do you afford a box?” Mary asked.

“Oh, that is easy. Wealthy people lease boxes for a season or several. Fitzwilliam, I imagine you have one?”

“Of course,” he replied softly, then added in a tone worthy of Lady Catherine. “It is expected of a man of my station, and to do less would be an insult to my ancestors,” which elicited a nice laugh from the group.

“And you attend perhaps a half-dozen times per year, at best?”

“I suppose so. I have family and friends who use it, but it sits empty more often than not.”

“Exactly. My uncle and I have protected and educated dozens of ladies. Their guardians are grateful, so it requires little more than a few notes to get a box any time we need one.”

“If we wait until our courtship is public, we can use the Darcy box. It might even be a good opportunity to make some sort of announcement.”

“Perhaps,” Elizabeth said thoughtfully, not the least bit distressed by discussing the possibility of making their courtship known. After all, if they were not thinking it was likely to succeed, what were they even doing?

She added, “It will require some thought. It is one thing to make our courtship public, and quite another thing to make my school public. I am not entirely certain I want to do it all on the same evening. I do not believe I can keep the school secret for long, nor do I want to since I am proud of what I have accomplished—but the same night might be a bit much.”

Darcy chuckled. “The gossips of the ton would fall into fits,” which elicited another giggle of agreement.

Kitty suggested, “Maybe you worry too much. We are all your friends, sisters, and future sister. Telling a few prolific gossips that it is just a family outing might put them off the scent… at least for a time.”

“That might work,” Darcy said. “Or it might not, but either way, I do not see any point in hiding the ladies if they will be all staying at my house soon.”

That statement was yet another one that could be considered just a touch presumptuous, but Elizabeth certainly did not mind, and the rest of the ladies had no opinion, since they would all be happy with anywhere that was not Longbourn.

~~~~~

“Tell me about your Christmas traditions,” Darcy asked on a visit a few days later. They were sitting together on a sofa after dinner, and if their hands happened to be touching under Elizabeth’s dress, nobody was the wiser.

Elizabeth looked to her sisters, so Mary answered. “To be honest, we do not do all that much. When we were children, we did all the usual things… hung greenery… gave gifts… plum pudding… wassail… carols… that sort of thing. Of course, we went to church and did boxes for the servants. The last few years though, my parents have found all of that to be too much bother, so we mostly have a slightly improved dinner and perhaps exchange a few small gifts.”

Darcy nodded. “We are the same. When my mother was alive, we did all those things you mentioned. I tried to keep it going after she died with modest success while Georgiana was little. The last few years, we have fallen into a bit of indolence. We sometimes go to my uncle’s, but I am not exactly in charity with him these days.”

“We could have a nice celebration here,” Elizabeth suggested. “There is no need to be constrained by the past. I have traditionally spent the holidays at Longbourn, so no classes are scheduled until after the new year.”

“Oh, yes… that would be just the thing,” Lydia gushed enthusiastically (though in a mostly ladylike manner), to which the others added their own enthusiastic responses.

“Perhaps, if all goes well, it could be the first of many.”

“I have heard worse ideas,” she replied with a small squeeze of his hand that he did not dislike.

Jane said, “I believe we could manage to organise everything, so you need not lift a finger, Lizzy.”

Elizabeth chuckled. “You do understand that when I said we , I really meant all of you in general and Jane in particular ,” which produced some half-hearted grumbling.

Both members of the couple were quite happy with the progress of their courtship, finding it neither too fast nor too slow. Whilst it was a big decision, and neither was quite ready to commit for life, or even to speak of love, the path in front of them seemed clear enough for the moment.

Mary gave the area between the couple a pointed stare, to which Elizabeth shrugged, believing she had given adequate explanations for increasing intimacy , and wondering how she would react to her sisters’ inevitable romances.

Fortunately, unless Mr Bingley found a backbone forthwith, and somehow weaselled Jane’s location from Darcy, it seemed unlikely to be an immediate issue.

~~~~~

The Christmas decorations were going along apace, and the house was looking more festive than ever. Mrs Rose quite enjoyed the spectacle, as she had been alone the previous years. She had, of course, gone to visit the Gardiners and enjoyed her time with their children immensely, but it was nice to have some activity in her own home.

She, like Elizabeth, had not properly earned the title of Mrs , but nobody disputed it. She was about Jane’s age in years, but considerably older in wisdom. She had come to Elizabeth’s attention after she was put upon by a man and she refused to marry the brute. Her father was dead, and she still had a sister, not yet out, living with her stepfather, whom she had never gotten along with. They made the entirely reasonable choice to tell everyone she died of some vague fever, and she left for London with ￡100 to her name, feeling lucky to have even that.

She had joined the school, first as a sort of maid and assistant, and later as a full-fledged instructor. Elizabeth thought she should be married by then, but she did not seem to be in any hurry, since Elizabeth paid her a high enough wage that she need never marry if she chose not to. If she did choose to, she had saved a rather tidy dowry for herself, and Elizabeth was quite proud of her.

Elizabeth wondered if she would ever choose to enter the fray, but since it was not her business, she wondered silently and sporadically.

She had three other instructors, since the school ran year-round, even when Elizabeth was at Longbourn. Mrs Scarlet, Mrs Auburn, and Mrs Jade had actually earned their prefix the usual way by walking down the aisle. Mrs Auburn and Jade were widows who liked to work a week or so each month, but they both had their own households and did the work for a bit of extra spending money, and she enjoyed the work. Mrs Jade was similar to Mrs Rose in situation and worked just about full time, though she mostly lived with her aging mother.

~~~~~

Sunday the 22 nd of December came, and Elizabeth took those of her charges who wished to attend to the local church, as she had the two previous Sundays.

She had an arrangement with the local rector for exclusive use of a small balcony with a screen that allowed them to worship in private. She did that because some of her charges wanted to worship and some did not. Publicly worshiping was obviously incompatible with their anonymity, nor would most congregations be sanguine with four to eight strangers appearing for a few weeks, only to be replaced with yet other strangers a fortnight later.

The balcony solved the problem handily. It was a fairly common accommodation for people in mourning or recovering from illness. They made it a point to arrive early and leave late, wearing a veil if necessary to preserve their anonymity.

Since the start of their courtship, Darcy had joined them. Ordinarily, a man like that would attract more attention than a church fire, but with clothing a step below Mr Gardiner’s, he slipped in and back out without a second glance.

~~~~~

Back home, they had a nice noisy Sunday dinner that was almost like a more refined Longbourn. Elizabeth was quite in charity with her little family.

It was the twenty-fourth day of their sojourn into London. In less than four weeks, nearly everything had changed. The heathen savages of the Netherfield ball were gone, but they had become decorous without losing any of their spirit. Amber, Jasmine, Maria, and Georgiana had bonded with the others, so it was more like a family of eight sisters than anything else.

Naturally, she was also being courted by a handsome, kind, and witty man, and to be honest, there was not a lot to complain about in that front. His interest had been quite a surprise, but certainly not an unpleasant one. Given how badly they had started out, it was just short of a miracle—but she was happy to accept what fate had placed in her path.

All in all, she was quite satisfied with her lot.

~~~~~

After dinner, they retired to the parlour immediately. Separation of the sexes made no sense when Darcy was the only man in the house other than the servants.

Elizabeth and Darcy sat by themselves slightly apart from the others, where slightly was the propriety-compliant way to say— as far apart from the others and as close together as possible.

They spoke for a while, and she found herself quite contentedly leaning her head against his shoulder, silently reminiscing about some of their acquaintance, while Darcy seemed happy to just contemplate the other ladies’ activities.

She giggled slightly, which made Darcy give her his full attention.

“What is so funny, Elizabeth?”

She sighed. “I was thinking about what I would like for Christmas, and the thought brought up some memories that should , by all rights be distressing, but it struck me as amusing instead… which I believe is the best way to handle such remembrances.”

His full attention was on her. “If you have a Christmas present in mind, I would love to hear about it. I will do my best to obtain your heart’s desire.”

“What if it is too much?”

“I cannot imagine you asking too much, but I suppose you can tell me what you want, and I could tell you if it is obtainable.”

She smiled and thought about it a bit.

“Mrs Black would definitely disapprove of both my remembrance and my desired gift.”

“Now you have my curiosity fully piqued! Will you tell me either the remembrance, the gift, or ideally, both.”

She looked into his eyes and gave him a soft smile with a hint of mischief.

“The remembrance is just something I heard some time ago that now strikes me as rather amusing. Someone suggested a wager that seemed a sure bet at the time.”

“I hope he knew how good of a gambler you were, else he may not have exactly prospered,” he replied with a laugh, quite enjoying the little byplay. “Now, will you quit messing about and give me the remembrance.”

“All right… I shall give you the remembrance and my Christmas wish all with one breath. I once overheard a man say, ‘I would happily bet a year’s income the future Mrs Darcy will not be some niece of a Cheapside tradesman,’ and my Christmas wish is for him to rejoice that he did not actually make the bet, because he would lose.”

All joking put aside, Darcy was caught with a great deal of chagrin about his earlier comment, but great joy to see that Elizabeth looked on the event with amusement, or possibly even approbation. He was embarrassed by his earlier faux pas, but since that had been the start of his reformation, he had no real reason to repine.

He stared into Elizabeth’s eyes, and then at her lips, and asked softly, “Was that what it sounded like?”

“If it sounded like a propriety violation that would put Mrs Black to the blush, because a lady is strongly implying that she would like a proposal for Christmas… then it was. If it sounded like anything else, you really need to get your hearing checked.”

Darcy laughed lightly, but not enough to draw anyone else’s attention.

She looked chagrined, and was embarrassed to see she could not keep looking in his eyes, so she leaned her head down to his chest and spoke from the heart.

“When you asked for a courtship, I was flattered and interested, but not overly optimistic about our chances. Over the next few days, I began to like you and entertained some modest hopes that we might suit. Over the next few weeks, I came to like you more and more. Today, I find I love you with all my heart, though I cannot truly say when like and respect became love. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun— but make no mistake. I have arrived. I love you, and I would be much obliged if you might make a proposal at your earliest convenience.”

Darcy laughed lightly. “You are correct that your request is unorthodox—and Thank Goodness for that! I believe I was farther along on the path when I asked for the courtship, but I did not yet love you, nor did I know you well enough to be certain I ultimately would. Now though…” and he leaned down to kiss the top of her head. “…now, I am absolutely certain I love you with all my heart. Your timing is impeccable as I was just coming to understand that myself. I would be most honoured and vastly pleased if you would consent to be my wife.”

Had Elizabeth been able to encounter his eye, she might have seen how well the expression of heartfelt delight, diffused over his face, became him; but, though she could not look, she could listen, and he told her of feelings, which, in proving of what importance she was to him, made his affection every moment more valuable.

Eventually, she removed her head from his chest and looked him straight in the face. Neither of them really paid any attention to the rest of the room’s inhabitants. They could only pay attention to each other, and when he leaned down to place a soft kiss on her lips, it was fortunate that Jane had already dragged everyone out of the room.

Their first kiss was soft, and warm, and protective, and understanding, and everything a first kiss should be. They had both read about first kisses and expected anything, from nothing to lightning. As it transpired, it felt just exactly like they hoped and expected, and as their courtship seemed to be a very orderly and progressive one, it was just enough. They both felt the beginnings of what they would later come to recognise as banked passion… they both felt a sense of belonging, as of coming home to a warm fire and happy children… they both felt a sense of trust and wonder and affection.

It was wonderful, and the whole touchy idea of when to announce their courtship seemed entirely solved.

“I do love you… so very much, Fitzwilliam.”

“You are my life, Elizabeth.”