Page 20

20. Five Coins

Mrs Black’s students awoke the next morning to find they had been moved from the dungeon to ordinary looking bed chambers. They had been so tired after the training they fell into bed without even noticing. Also present were their own trunks, with their own day dresses, pressed and hanging in the closet. They were sharing two to a room, but compared to their previous accommodations, it seemed like a palace.

They had a good breakfast with Mrs Black presiding over the head of the table, directing conversation subtly. She made certain the shyer ladies, such as Miss Amber, had their share of conversation, and more boisterous ladies, such as Miss Green did not hog. She did it with some subtlety that impressed the Bennet daughters, although the elder two suspected it was mostly because their youngest sister was deathly afraid of their tutor. They would be astonished if the change lasted upon return to Longbourn, but it was at least a start.

Once they were finished, they all went into a good-sized drawing room, and sat down in a comfortable setting, as if awaiting callers.

Mrs Black began, “Now that Brutality Day is finished… it is time for some fun: Deportment Day! ” The groans were loud and universal, with even Jane pitching in, but Mrs Black seemed unimpressed.

“Most of you have at least a vague idea about how to behave properly. Most ladies obtain some haphazard rules of thumb from siblings, aunts, mothers, or governesses. Some of you may have read the books on manners, but they are so dull they make sermons seem exciting. Am I correct?”

There was a certain amount of grumbling, but eventually they all agreed that their path to what passed for ladylike behaviour had been acquired as suggested.

“I might also speculate that your compliance with the rules of good breeding have been… uneven…” then she let the pause hang for a moment. “…is that not correct, Misses Yellow and Green.”

Kitty and Lydia both jumped at being singled out, but at least they had briefly acquired the sense to keep their mouths shut occasionally.

“I hope what you learnt these past days would at least show you some of the errors of your ways,” Mrs Black blithely continued. “For example, Miss Violet, in practical terms , disregarding the rules of ladylike behaviour entirely, what is wrong with flirting with officers?”

Maria thought about it for a bit, and finally timidly suggested, “The best you could hope for is marriage to a man who is poor as a rat. More likely he just wants to lift your skirts.”

It said something about the experience thus far that nobody batted an eye at either the vulgarity of the expression or the underlying assertion, even though the young lady would have been unable to say such a thing at gunpoint a week earlier.

“Miss Yellow, continuing our practical bent, what else besides dishonourable behaviour might encourage a soldier to be friendly, flattering, or even flirtatious, to ladies like you?”

Kitty sputtered a minute and looked toward Lydia.

“If I wanted Miss Green’s opinion, I would have asked her. You need to escape her shadow sooner or later. Sooner would be better.”

Mary looked thoughtfully at Mrs Black and the rest of the ladies to see if anyone had worked out her identity yet and concluded they had not. While Kitty was thinking, Mary wondered why she alone of the sisters had worked it out, and after only a few hours at that. She thought Jane should have been the first, but since Elizabeth started spending so much time in London, Jane had moved most of her attentions to Charlotte Lucas. Kitty and Lydia seldom paid any attention to anything not right in front of their faces, so they would never work it out. The other ladies just did not know Elizabeth all that well. Of course, considering Mrs Black looked and sounded like a cross between a Spaniard and a Viking, it took quite a stretch to associate her with the meek and polite woman everyone thought they knew. Mary hoped to one day learn about how impertinent little Lizzy Bennet became the indomitableMrs Black.

While Mary ruminated, Kitty was thinking furiously. She finally said, “They must get something out of it. Something worth the trouble.”

“Exactly!” Mrs Black said with a smile that made Miss Yellow glow with happiness. That also gave Mary something to think about. Was just a tiny bit of approval all her sister needed to escape the younger and stronger sibling? Could any of the three elder sisters have rescued Kitty from Lydia at any time in the past few years had they made the effort, or would their mother have sabotaged it all?

“Can you guess what that might be?” Mary ventured, just to get in on the conversation. She was surprisingly happy to receive a nod of approval from Mrs Black.

Miss Yellow thought a minute. “Better food and drink, I suppose?”

“Miss Red?”

Mary thought a minute. “I have never eaten in the officer’s mess, but I cannot imagine it competes, given what we saw the first day. My mother sets a fine table if nothing else.”

“ Very good, ladies! I would say there are probably other similar things, but that is a good way to think. If they are kind or flirtatious to the ladies of one house, they might be invited to others. There may even be other benefits that are slightly selfish, but not necessarily evil. It is an indisputable fact that eating at any of your estates is a vast improvement.”

Kitty said, “I suppose that makes sense.”

Mrs Black continued, “People do things for their own reasons, though they are not always obvious. With everyone you deal with, it always pays to think about their motives. It helps to understand and even predict their actions.”

More nods ensued.

“Having said that, what am I likely to say next… Miss Blue?”

Jane startled, but finally suggested, “Balance?”

“Elaborate.”

Jane thought some more. “If you pay no attention at all to other people’s motives, you can easily be beguiled and hoodwinked. If you obsess all day about it, will spend your whole life fretting until you have a nervous disposition. It seems like punishing yourself for others’ infractions.”

“Very good words to live by.”

“I can certainly see how they can be useful,” Jane replied.

“How so?”

Mary found the discussion fascinating, though they had yet to touch on the topic of the day.

“I lived most of my life assuming the best about people.” Jane began pensively. “I mostly ignore that which makes me uncomfortable. People have taken advantage of my good nature more than once.”

“Miss Amber?”

The move away from the Bennet family startled the two nieces, but she was ready.

“I suspect I was much like Miss Blue, though to a lesser extent. I did not always believe the best of people, but I had a tough time thinking the worst. I will be more cautious in future. I also now have a much better idea of what I want in a husband.”

“Excellent—especially that last point! As ladies, we are trained to stand around looking pretty if we can, or amiable, or wealthy, or accomplished, or whatever we think is our best asset. We are supposed to wait patiently for a man to notice us, and hope he has enough sense to know what he wants, and the gumption to go after it. All this passive waiting around is indecisive and weak.”

They all gasped, but by then they were at least accustomed to unconventional ideas. For most of them, any husband seemed the best they could hope for, but could Mrs Black be right? Could they somehow shape their destiny, at least a little?

“It is unfortunate, but in our society, we are expected to walk a fine line. Too demure and we are cold, too enthusiastic and we are mercenary or fast, but that does not mean we are powerless . That is what we will learn today.”

“How?” Jane asked plaintively.

“By achieving balance… by thinking strategically and acting tactically. It is unfortunate that society, courtship, friendships have to be thought out carefully, but it only seems confusing because you are unaccustomed to the idea. If you learn the skills, they will become second nature over time. If you return home and do nothing, you will at least know how to defend yourself, and if you decide to be more thoughtful, you will at least have some idea of how to go about it.”

They all seemed nearly overwhelmed, and they had been at it for some time, so Mrs Black suggested a break for a half-hour and some tea.

~~~~~

“Now on to the topic at hand. We will speak about manners, propriety, and deportment, but in a thoughtful way… mostly because memorising rules is the worst way to learn—not to mention unbelievably tedious.”

“Why do we have to learn a lot of stuffy old rules?” Lydia asked petulantly.

“You do not,” Mrs Black replied calmly.

For a moment, several of the ladies looked relieved, but then a cloud of doubt descended, and they wondered what trick she had up her sleeve. They had no doubt there was one.

“I suppose you may as well put us out of our misery,” Mary said.

“I said you do not need to learn these rules. You could easily forget the lessons from yesterday, or the lessons about how to read the intentions of those around us, or anything else I have to teach you. You can forget the entire lot and take your chances. I have already been paid, and your guardians cannot claw that back, even if you learn nothing.”

They all stared at the hard look she was giving them. “Do not feel you are special , Miss Green. There is a Miss Green in every class. Some learn and succeed in life. Some do not learn and take their chances. That is your right, but if you want a good chance to live a comfortable life, I urge you to knuckle down and learn it. It is far simpler than you can imagine. ”

She stared around threateningly, then relented a bit and softened up. She picked up a small stack of coins from a side table and continued, “I will teach you everything you need to know about deportment and manners, and I will do it with just five coins.”

All the ladies were thoroughly confused, but at least they were paying attention.

Miss Amber finally asked, “How?”

Mrs Black took that as general agreement that they would try, which was all she hoped for at this stage of the game.

“How many of you have heard the old phrase, love and hate are two sides of the same coin ?”

Most raised their hand timidly.

“Anyone care to guess what it means?”

Jane surprised Elizabeth by being the first to answer. “I suppose they are opposites but related.”

“How so?”

“They are both some sort of… passion, I suppose.”

“That is correct. They are the extreme ends of another similar coin, like versus dislike. We will use these other five coins to learn what you need to know about manners.”

“That seems overly simplistic,” Miss Violet added.

“I do not mean that there are only five rules. Far from it. Depending on the level of society you eventually occupy, there may be hundreds in the end—but they all derive from these five coins. Shall we begin?”

They all nodded, far more enthusiastic than they had been a few minutes earlier.

“Miss Amber… while this will seem self-serving, let us just for the moment remain entirely in practical terms. What is the practical benefit of being kind? Disregard morality, religion, manners, customs… everything. Only practical terms. ”

“Kind to who?”

“Anybody… friends, relatives, strangers, you name it.”

She thought a minute and finally replied timidly, “Because they are more likely to be kind in return.”

“Very good, Miss Violet. Do the same for being mean.”

That one did not take long at all. “They will be mean back.”

“Very good. Now expand on that.”

“They might be meaner than you… or more powerful… or more vindictive.”

“Exactly. They say the whisper of misfortune is louder than the trumpet of joy. Bad tidings travel much faster and farther than good ones, so being unkind, or mean, is more likely to harm you than not. After our lessons on gossip at the modiste, that much should be clear.”

She paused a moment, then opened a box that was sitting unobtrusively on the table by her chair, and pulled out a stack of coins, one for each lady.

They all looked the coin over and noticed that each side was engraved with a word pair, indicating they supposed one principle: Kindness/Reciprocation vs Unkindness/Retaliation.

“This coin suggests you make your disposition lean towards kindness. In other words, try to make kindness your natural habit, and others will most likely reciprocate. Make meanness your natural habit, and others will naturally retaliate. Remember the golden rule, which most think is Christian, but nearly every ancient culture has some flavour of it: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. ”

They all looked thoughtful except for Jane, who looked slightly smug.

Mrs Black said, “Remember this, and remember it well. I said to make it your normal habit, not your only habit. Not everybody is your friend. Bullies see kindness as weakness. Not everybody follows the same rules. You should try being kind, but if that fails—”

She stared around the room until Jane finally answered timidly. “Flip over the coin.”

“Exactly. Kindness is a type of strength, but not the only kind. As you know by now, you must defend yourself from physical attacks. Verbal attacks are no less troublesome, and you must guard yourself from them as zealously as you defend your person.”

“Is this coming back to balance,” Miss Violet asked.

“It very much is.”

Mary ventured, “You said there are five coins, but hundreds of rules of propriety. Are you saying many rules will belong to one of the coins.”

“Most of them will,” she replied. “Miss Red, I suspect you have many of the rules in your head. Can you list some specific rules from those tedious books that might well be summarised with this coin?”

Mary thought a moment, and finally offered, “Do not speak ill of others, especially in public or mixed company; or Avoid interrupting someone while they are speaking.”

Kitty surprised everyone by contributing, “Offer assistance where appropriate, especially to those of lesser fortune or standing.”

The rest chimed in with many, such as Show patience with those who may breach etiquette due to ignorance, not malice; Do not gloat over one’s supposed superiority.”

Mrs Black laughed. “Enough! You get the idea. Let us have luncheon.”

~~~~~

The afternoon went much smoother. While a considerable number of rules fit under Understand and respect the social structures (in a balanced manner, of course), once they had a structure to tie their understanding instead of a lot of arbitrary rules, it all made a sort of sense. There may be more rules to learn for some than others, but the basic ideas were clear enough. Mrs Black went through the rules for how to manage guests in the home, all of which mostly fit under the kindness coin. Managing conversation at the dinner table was the same. Putting upstart-social-climbing-parvenus or people who insulted you in their place might be a useful skill from the other side of the coin. Mrs Black did not look directly at Jane in that case, but the message was clear enough.

Naturally some might have to learn more rules than others. Knowing how to introduce the wife of an earl to a duke was not a skill most of them were likely to require, but should it ever come up, even though such things were almost entirely arbitrary, they could be learnt if they could be tied to a coin.

The coin for Exercise Restraint and Self-Control was fairly obvious given what they had learnt on Brutality Day and from observing the wolves hunting the lambs the first couple of days.

In similar ways, they dispatched coins for modesty and conduct, reputations and impropriety, and the like.

At the end of the day, much to everyone’s surprise, they took two of the driest, dustiest deportment manuals off a shelf and went through them. They learnt that a lot of the rules were quite good, and all of the good ones could be tied to one of their coins. They also found a fair number that were capricious, idiotic, or nonsensical. Mrs Black suggested they could disregard them, but to do so with full awareness.

As the final nail in the coffin, they took Fordyce’s Sermons and tore it to pieces. Hardly anything in the book fit any of the coins, and even Mary was tempted to throw it in the fire.