Page 16

16. Friends and Enemies

The following morning found the ladies being awakened by a maid lightly shaking them. It was a considerable improvement over the pot and spoon method, so they all jumped to with alacrity. None could rightly say if their character had been improved, or they were just being pragmatic towards how they might be awoken over subsequent days.

They found their dowdy dresses of the previous days replaced with dressing gowns. The maid told them to cover themselves quickly and follow.

They eventually arrived at a room that looked like pure luxury compared to what they called cells (outside of Mrs Black’s hearing, of course). In fact, the room was modestly larger and better arranged than most of their mothers’ chambers. The room had an open door to another room of comparable size, though decorated with a more masculine motif.

Mrs Black entered a moment later and began in her usual forthright manner.

“Today, we shall speak about friends and enemies. Admittedly, most of the course thus far has concentrated on enemies, primarily in the form of bad men. Today we will discuss friends… or will we?”

“What does that mean?” Miss Burgundy asked cautiously. She was a somewhat timid girl who said barely a word the first few days, but some gentle prodding from Mrs Black (and less gentle from Miss Green) encouraged her, so she was starting to attempt a word or two here and there.

“I mean we have been in general company but overwhelmingly observing and discussing men . Today, we will enter the world of women. You may think they are your natural allies, and for most of your life, they will be. However, at your current stage, some will be friends, some will be enemies, some will be competitors, some will be indifferent or irrelevant, and some will be snakes in the grass. Unless you plan to live a quiet life, in a remote wilderness, free of society, you will need to learn to deal with them.”

She let them chew on that for a minute.

“There is nothing wrong with choosing a quiet life away from society,” she began, and looked sternly at a few of the girls who looked ready to argue. “That said, the crucial word there was choose . If you choose to live a life outside society, I will not criticise you. However, if you end up there because you are afraid or lazy, then I would feel remiss in my duties. I cannot make everyone as bold as Miss Green, nor can I make Miss Green as thoughtful as Miss Red, or as well read as Miss Amber—but as in all things, I hope to teach you balance .”

They all nodded thoughtfully, which was unprecedented for Miss Green.

“Today, we enter the ultimate bastion of dog-eat-dog cutthroatery— the modiste shop . I only hope we escape mostly unscarred.”

That one was too much for Miss Green and Miss Yellow, who danced around a bit, but did so at least at a level not likely to produce a megrim, so everyone was satisfied. The rest tried to decide if they could laugh with Mrs Black’s witticisms but then gave up and just smiled.

“Your trunks are in the dressing rooms. I expect you all dressed and ready for breakfast in an hour. Miss White has never experienced the dubious pleasure of having a sister help her dress. Miss Blue, might you oblige?”

“Of course.”

She then split the ladies between the master’s and mistress’s suites such that each Bennet sister was with a non-sister, and split the more troublesome pairs, such as Lydia and Kitty.

~~~~~

The idea that the dank parlour from their first lesson was just a trick to frighten them was born out when they saw a proper light breakfast, then two carriages to take them shopping. Both were sharp, well-appointed coaches pulled by first-rate horseflesh. The drivers were dressed in immaculate livery, as were the footmen who had not even existed in the old coaches.

An hour later they approached a large shop on Russel Street, which made sense as nine ladies would burst many establishments at the seams.

Mrs Black ushered them inside and introduced them to Madam Lisette, a woman of around forty who looked possibly French and entirely professional. She explained that they would be measured and fitted in groups of four while the rest stayed hidden behind a curtain with Mrs Black.

Those being fitted were not to speak, only listen. In fact, all of her charges were prohibited from speaking anything beyond introductions whilst in the shop, and with a hard look at her two youngest charges, she emphasised that gossiping would be frowned upon at a level they could not comprehend.

With that, she sent four out to be measured while she kept the others back for instruction. It meant a great deal of repetition, but since the entire course was the same, it did not signify.

“Clothing tells a lot about a person, but as with many things, it tells a great many truths and an equal number of lies. Ideally, you should like to distinguish the former from the latter. For example, we can buy a gown in this store for ten guineas that is nearly indistinguishable from one I would buy on Bond Street for thirty, where the crucial part is nearly . The Bond Street gown may have slightly better materials or workmanship, but not three times better. Someone pays thirty guineas on Bond Street because they can! Overpaying is the point. It makes your spending conspicuous to those who know about such things, hoping they will assume you can afford it. You will see that in women so wealthy the difference between ten and thirty guineas is irrelevant, but also women trying to climb the social ladder, who might beggar themselves to appear like the former so they might marry into it.”

“I think I can find one example of that,” Miss White asserted, then blushed a bit as if the others might be aware of who she was thinking of. She would have blushed even more if she knew Mrs Black knew exactly who she meant and agreed wholeheartedly.”

“I can as well,” said a blushing Miss Blue, which seemed a good sign to her tutor. Perhaps, Jane was becoming less na?ve, or at least less oblivious.

“I can name you dozens, but then you have to ask yourself what you think of such a woman,” Mrs Black asserted. “Is she trying her honest best to aspire to a better sphere? Anyone who is not already royalty is certainly entitled to do so, and nobody has a right to judge them, presuming they act with integrity. Is she so desperate to climb the ladder that she will stoop to any measure to gain it? For example, one such climber might pretend to befriend a woman when her ultimate goal is to attach herself to her brother or attach a richer woman to hers. Some such might even stoop to underhanded means, such as lying, tearing down her rivals, starting malicious gossip, or managing her relatives’ relationships.”

The last made both Miss Blue and Miss White flinch as intended, but the tutor continued without pause.

“Alternatively, a woman could be perfectly innocent and just splurging for once in her life, trying to make herself pretty for her beau, or just trying to give herself a fair chance in the marriage mart. Much like posture and expressions, you have to dig deeper and look at more than one aspect of her character to find the truth… or as close as you can come to it.”

She looked to her charges to see how they reacted before continuing earnestly, if a bit wistfully, “First impressions are dangerous beasts that should not be relied upon. It took me some hard lessons to learn that.”

Miss White asked somewhat timidly, “You mentioned ladies who subtly try to befriend you to get access to a relation. What if they are not the least bit subtle?”

“Then you must take steps to avoid them and cut them out of your life entirely if possible. Such people will never do you any good, unless of course they offer you some particular advantage sufficient to put up with their annoyances. You should never tolerate them due to excessive civility or timidity, or even because they have other relations important to your family. You only have so many hours to live on this earth. While you may have to tolerate your guardian’s or husband’s friends, do not do so without a fight, and be very aware which snakes you let into your bed. Try to throw the worst of them out before they bite you.”

Miss White and Miss Blue looked thoughtful, which was probably useful—especially when Mrs Black told the group she would cover ways to cut such dead weight out of their lives in the second week of their training, probably on the same day she taught them to bring a man to his knees with a thumb lock.

The first group of four had mixed in with other ladies, and the hidden group could hear quite a lot of conversation. The time of day had been deliberately chosen to maximise the gossip, and Mrs Black walked her charges through listening to what they said and really thinking about it.

Did the tale even make sense? Many did not pass a simple sniff test. Was what they heard from a credible source? What was the purpose of sharing the story? Who gained or lost from the gossip spreading? Was what they heard a cautionary tale they should pay attention to, someone being stabbed in the back and stepped over, or something else? How important was the gossip— to you ? The latest fashion trend might be marginally useful—the latest scandal amongst people you do not know, much less so. Why should someone waste their time and reputation listening to or repeating gossip about people not important to them? Which people had ongoing rivalries? Were two women competing for one gentleman’s attention, and if so, how much did that tell you to watch your back around them? What behaviours were becoming more or less acceptable? For example, was the waltz now acceptable in polite society, and if so, who could dance it without raising eyebrows? Were country manners becoming more like city manners or the converse? What laws were being discussed in parliament that might affect the price of crops or otherwise affect their livelihoods?

In this way she taught them how to critically listen to what was said or omitted, discard probable mistakes, lies, omissions, exaggerations, slander, distortions, speculation, betrayal, or any of the other dozen ways gossip could do harm. To be fair, she also said it could be informative, cautionary, moral (very occasionally), entertaining, insightful, or amusing.

She also worked her way back to costs, since in the area of finance most ladies were even more ignorant than they were about men. She mentioned the thirty-guinea gown from Bond Street, became ten in their current locale, but might be three in Cheapside. At that point, the gown would be substantially lower quality, but you could get three for the same price, and it would be perfectly good enough for most society.

She went into how to dress to fit your society and explained why wearing a Bond Street silk gown to a country assembly would just make you look ridiculous, which was not necessarily an iron-clad rule, but it was amusing to watch the light of recognition enter the eyes of her charges. She said wearing a rustic country ballgown to a first-circle ball would be the exact same thing in reverse.

A few hours later they had luncheon, then swapped groups so Mrs Black could repeat the lesson, and a few hours later they gratefully went back to their lodgings.

Those ladies who had lived quiet lives without a great deal of female company were astounded by how much talk had assaulted their ears in just a few hours, and how confusing it all was. Those who had lived their lives surrounded by gossip were chagrined to learn how extraordinarily little of it was worthy of their attention, and how much of it was playing with fire.

They had been industrious, thoughtful, insightful, and well-behaved all day, so they were given the handsomest reward imaginable—a dinner much like Mrs Bennet served every day.

Mrs Black used the dinner to summarise what they should have learnt that day.

“Remember this rule: Words matter. Words can be a weapon, but they can also be a shield. Words can offer comfort or pain. They can help or hurt. It is not only words you speak that can affect you. For example, simply listening to spiteful gossip because you are too polite to say anything or leave gives the gossiper more power.”

Surprisingly, Lydia said, “What you say makes sense. I suppose with your ideas about balance, we need to ensure we have both kinds in our arsenal.”

“That is correct, Miss Green. Remember that words you say can hurt you just as surely as they can hurt others. In fact, the mere act of hurting someone else harms you, even if they do not retaliate, because it makes you a lesser person.”

The ladies nodded, so Mrs Black continued, “Miss Amber, can you work out other pairs.”

It took a minute for her to come up with, “A blessing or a curse?”

“Very good. Miss Violet?”

“A guide or a trap?”

Mrs Black encouraged them, and the discussion was livelier and more intelligent than it might have been a few days earlier. They continued energetically through several other opposing pairs.

The evening finally came to a close when Jane suggested, “A mirror or a mask.”

That one had everyone thinking for several moments.

Mrs Black finally said, “I think that one is perfect food for thought, so let us retire.”