Page 53 of The Book of Heartbreak

Fortune is forged by the valorous.

Excerpt from The Book of Revenge, Müneccimbasi Sufi Chelebi’s Journals of Mystical Phenomena

Growing up knowing I was cursed, I was a strange, shy creature even her own mother didn’t want to look at. A glitch in the world’s order.

I always assumed I was just . . . an odd child.

Beneath the grey cloud of a curse hanging over her like a noose.

Forced to mature earlier to look after her own mother.

I was someone peculiar, someone alone.

My father was just a hole – not even a hope. A shadowy figure. Mum’s mistake. A nobody. I never dared to imagine him. I never even tried to sketch his face, unable to find an expression, a pair of eyes, a nose or mouth for him.

Perhaps that’s why I feel so crushed by Five’s revelation, and I finally grasp how little I had truly understood.

We stand beneath the relentless heat that the evening fails to scrub from Istanbul.

The angel of death and I.

Even the gulls seem to have withdrawn from their hotspot.

‘W-who?’ I ask, the world reeling around me.

‘It seems you’ve inherited your aunt’s wits as well as her looks.’ Five’s eyes narrow. ‘Your lack of intelligence is truly disappointing. How many times must I say it? I am your father.’

The pieces of the puzzle lie around me, finally starting to slot together. They are the same person. They always were. It was always him . The same man.

Ozan.

Azlan.

Lazarios.

‘I saw you – in a photograph,’ I mutter. ‘With Iris.’

He makes a pained face. ‘Iris was quite the headache. Weak but disobedient . . . the worst combination. I had to come up with that stupid marriage plot to control her. Merciful, wasn’t I? Even though she hardly deserved it.’

I can’t process this. I can’t escape. I’m a candle flame in the wind.

‘She died here.’ My voice is a whisper, thinking how we’re standing right in the place where Iris died. ‘She died because of you.’

‘You make it sound like I killed her,’ Five says. ‘Didn’t your mother tell you? It was an accident.’

I don’t even know how to respond to his cruelty. My heart pounds as I glance around, desperate for an escape, but he shifts, blocking my path with an unnerving calm.

‘Iris’s death reminded me that it was time to end things and move on,’ he muses, without an ounce of guilt, shame or emotion. ‘What’s the point of wasting my existence on mortals without pursuing new names – and new lovers?’

‘What the fuck is your real name?’ I lash out, fury bubbling under my skin. ‘Do you even have one?’

He pauses to think, and then when he speaks again, his voice drips with disdain.

‘I was once renamed by beings far beneath me, beings who fancied themselves superior. Five the Fifth – a name I was forced to endure, one I never truly accepted. So I found other names, ones more to my liking, daughter.’

‘I’m not your daughter!’ I scream, repulsed by his twisted logic.

‘Oh, you are. First, I’ll rename you myself, as I had no say in the pitiful choice your mother made. I was thinking, perhaps to honour our connection, I can rebrand you as . . . Asre?’

I almost falter, unnerved by the uncertainty of what he plans to do with me – how he presumes I’d ever want anything to do with him. The psycho.

‘Names hold immense power.’ His eyes gleam as his tone grows ominous.

‘They’re the simplest tools to charm and control mortals.

With each name, you forge a unique bond, and with each bond, mortals will worship you in a million ways.

It’s pleasantly entertaining. Be patient and I’ll teach you how to master this skill. ’

The games he played with these so-called names, the way he assumes I’d even want to learn – it’s nauseating.

‘Your mother adored Azlan the moment I revealed it to her,’ he says, a grin spreading on his face. ‘She was grateful to have Azlan all to herself, never once complaining like the others. But all my names lead back to my true self. Azarel.’

Azarel. Lazarios. Azylios. Azlan. Ozan. Aziz. I shudder as I recall Munu’s memories, how Theodora revealed to her that Lazarios forced her to use a different name. How did I not notice the pattern? How blind was I?

Five studies me, expectant, as if waiting for a compliment, but I offer none. I have only disgust. Only repulsion.

There’s no way Daphne loved this . . . thing.

‘Mum wouldn’t fall for someone like you.’ I shake my head, refusing to accept it. ‘She wouldn’t.’

‘Perhaps you’re not as dim . . .’ He tilts his head, as if recounting an amusing anecdote. ‘Yes, I was the one to woo her. She used to sit and paint on the seafront, like a mermaid fresh out of the sea. A flawless beauty, and she smelled divine. Irresistible . . . What was her name again?’

It’s unbearable to imagine Daphne in his clutches, but what makes it worse is that he doesn’t even remember her name.

‘I’m only joking.’ Five chuckles. ‘Of course I remember Defne. Do you think I father children with any random mortal? No, I truly liked her. She didn’t need much charming to devote herself to me.

She was pure. Submissive. Always trusting,’ Five says with the same nonchalance as if he were raising a toast at a family reunion.

‘I liked her enough to let her keep . . . you.’

My hand flies to my mouth as the truth hits me like a punch to the gut.

‘You ensnared her. It’s why Daphne thought she was bewitched.

’ Mum, Iris, Eudokia, Theodora – they weren’t just in love.

Whatever spells or enchantments Five used, they had no chance.

They couldn’t resist him. They were his victims. ‘They all fell for you, like moths to a flame!’

‘Is it my fault that I am the most flawless creation of Our Boss Almighty?’ Five shrugs with infuriating ease. ‘One kiss is all it takes to bring them to their knees. The rest is easy.’

‘You ruined them.’ It takes all my willpower not to strike at him. ‘You self-centred piece of shit!’

‘I don’t like repeating myself, Asre.’ His face twists with a venomous pleasure as he spits out that wretched name he invented for me. ‘I will not be dishonoured. I refuse to be blamed because mortals are so fragile, so shamefully weak-willed and quick to crumble.’

I shrink away, trembling – whether from terror or fury, I can’t comprehend – and he misreads me entirely.

‘Ah, but you have nothing to fear,’ he says, a smirk curling his lips. ‘You’re only half mortal. Once that weak heart is eliminated, snuffing out that damned curse for good, you’ll be stronger than ever. Worthy of standing by my side for eternity.’

My breath catches as his words settle over me, each more shocking than the last.

My heart. The sacrifice.

‘You,’ I hiss, my hands balling into fists. Is there a limit to his evil? ‘You orchestrated the sacrifice. That’s why you were after The Book of Heartbreak . You’re worried it would help me break the curse in another way.’

‘Of course it was me.’ He chuckles. ‘Who else has the intelligence to craft such an impeccable plan?’

‘Did Munu know any of this?’ I demand, dreading the answer. I can’t bear the thought of her conspiring with him.

‘She, like everyone else beneath me, knows only what she needs to know.’ Five shrugs. ‘Do not mistake me for mortal halfwits, Asre. I don’t share my agendas with anyone.’

The sky above us darkens, and I darken with it. Stars flicker to life one by one as I fight the urge to close my eyes, hoping to wake and discover this is nothing but a nightmare.

But it isn’t.

‘You seem . . . upset.’ Five steps closer, his height suffocating. ‘Shouldn’t you be rejoicing in the revelation of your divine parentage?’

‘Stay away from her,’ someone interrupts.

I recognise my grandfather instantly. As I turn to face him, looming by the door, I see the loathing in his eyes as they lock on to Five.

‘I swear I will kill you.’ Muzaffer stands straight, tall as a reed, pale as paper. ‘I will, if you touch Sare.’

I go numb when Muzaffer clutches Five’s arm, dragging him away from me. I watch him attack the angel while I stand helpless, stunned, speechless.

‘Go back to where you come from.’ Muzaffer’s rage is raw and unhinged. ‘Don’t dare think you can become a father after all this time. Sare doesn’t need a loathsome waster like you.’

It hits me, then. Muzaffer doesn’t realise what Five is.

He has no idea. He strikes him, once, twice, thrice.

All in vain – Five doesn’t even flinch. Muzaffer can’t win against him.

I shut my eyes, unable to witness this scene.

My heart pounds in my chest as if it wishes to get out.

But then I hear Muzaffer’s yelp and force myself to look.

My throat runs dry at the sight of him.

The angel of death.

My father.

A normal man would have ended up with a bleeding nose after Muzaffer’s blows, but he stands eerily unharmed, without even a scratch – taller somehow. But it’s the black wings now arching above him that take my breath away, each feather jutting out like a needle.

‘Isn’t it funny that I’m actually here because of your nearing end, dearest father-in-law?’ Five snorts. His remark erases all the woes in my head.

He’s here because of . . . Muzaffer?

‘ No,’ I protest, dumbfounded . ‘You’re here because Grey summoned you.’

‘Petty little shits like Grey hold no sway over me, daughter.’ Five laughs, a cruel, heart-wrenching laugh, igniting a ring of fire above his head. A halo of flames.

‘What are you?’ Muzaffer stands, panting, hands still in fists, as he looks upon Five’s true form.

Five grins. ‘I am your death, old man.’

‘No,’ I say again. ‘You can’t take him from me.’ I wrack my brain for a way to stop him, but I’m just . . . blank.

‘I see that you two bonded well despite your condition, daughter.’ Five snorts. ‘We’ll have to get rid of these delicate mortal tendencies, as well as your name.’

‘ Kovulmus seytanin serrinden Tanri’ya si?inirim ,’ Muzaffer mutters in Turkish. Five grabs him by his shoulders, staring down at him with a blank expression.