Page 39 of The Book of Heartbreak

‘He’s going to miss the chance of a lifetime, Sare.

’ Pelin sighs. ‘His life has been a hard one. He worked so hard to be the seer he is today. He still thinks he’s not good enough, and trying to fix this curse will prove something.

I read the book – Sufi Chelebi didn’t even reveal the origin.

It’s a lost cause at this point, a myth.

There’s no guarantee he, or you, can break the curse—’

I barely stop myself from defending the curse; it’s not a myth. I exhale. What’s the use? Pelin is worried about her friend. And I guess I am too.

‘What makes you think he’ll listen to me?’ My voice is a croak. Does Pelin know we’ve kissed? The thought alone burns with embarrassment, but it’s overshadowed by the prospect of Leon’s future in Peru, and a greater fear that I – and my curse – might destroy his sanity.

‘At least stop giving him hope,’ Pelin persists. ‘Stop seeking his help.’

Am I giving Leon hope? I almost laugh out loud. How can I offer Leon something I scarcely dare to feel myself?

The sun rests warm on my shoulders.

I recall how, each time my skin touches Leon’s, I feel momentarily free from the curse’s grasp. How, last night, for the first time in my life, my heart followed a lead other than the curse’s, and beat in time with his.

‘I’ll think about it,’ I concede.

A part of me knows Pelin is right. I shouldn’t drag Leon into this mess, not when there’s no guarantee we can break the cycle. But he is the only person who understands what it means to live under the curse’s shadow, even though he isn’t aware of the heartbreaks.

I should let him go; give him the freedom I’ll never have.

But I can’t.

It will be strictly business, I tell myself as I wave Pelin goodbye. No feelings, no attachments. Nothing more.

And yet, even as I make that promise, I know I’ve already broken it.

Leon climbs up to my room again in the evening.

‘You can’t keep doing this,’ I hiss, watching him emerge onto the balcony. ‘I’ll be in trouble if Muzaffer sees you here.’

‘You haven’t returned my messages.’ He scowls. ‘What did you say? We’re . . .’ He places his index finger on his chin, as if he’s thinking hard. ‘. . . business partners. So you can’t ghost me.’

Of course I can, I grimace silently. To protect myself from death, and you from insanity.

‘I need time to process everything.’ I shrug. ‘I’m not a robot. You don’t learn every day that your ancestors were cursed in a tower by the person you trusted most.’

And of course, not to forget, I almost died in the discovery.

Leon grimaces. ‘I told you ethereals don’t make friends, didn’t I?’

It’s less than twenty-four hours since we kissed, but now we’re back to being strangers. No, more than strangers, actually, because right now he annoys me as much as he did the first time we met.

‘I can leave if you want.’ He shrugs, his height filling the door frame.

Does he think I’ll beg him to stay?

Leon lifts an eyebrow, as if he’s inviting me to respond. I hate him for being so good-looking, even in scruffy shorts and a T-shirt, which seems like his staple outfit when he’s not working.

And his rebellious light brown curls, his sharp nose, his brown eyes.

Fuck. What is wrong with me?

I can’t afford to let my feelings take control.

You almost died last night. Focus , Sare. Think.

Leon belongs to another world. He is a seer. He needs to go to Peru. Pelin is right, this quest is dangerous for him. I can’t let him end up like Sufi Chelebi.

Reading my silence as rejection, Leon shifts back onto the balcony. ‘You want me out?’

You’re a fool if you believe that, I think silently, but avoid the question. We stare at each other, and in the end keeping him close wins out against protecting him.

‘I found something today . . .’ I try to sound cool and unfazed. ‘A book that once belonged to Daphne, with a note in it.’

When I show him the piece of paper, he scrutinises it for far longer than a single read-through would necessitate.

‘This mystery recipient might know what happened,’ Leon says.

‘Yeah, we should focus on finding him,’ I agree.

‘You have to get into your mother’s room. Surely Azmi has all the keys – it won’t hurt anyone if we borrowed them.’

‘Tomorrow is Friday. Muzaffer is usually out until noon for Cuma prayer, and Azmi will be with him.’

‘Perfect,’ Leon says. ‘We only need an hour or so.’

He’s thrilled, I notice, to have a plan of action. It genuinely cheers him up to hunt down this curse. How can I take that away from him?

But then that smile also betrays his mounting obsession with the curse, enough to climb onto my balcony. Enough to tolerate my kiss.

‘I can do it myself,’ I force myself to say, thinking of my earlier resolve, the promise I made to Pelin. ‘You’ve wasted enough time with me, there’s no need for you to come here again.’

He holds my gaze, taken aback by my sudden change of tune. ‘What do you mean?’

‘W-well, I can easily find the keys . . .’

‘Oh, come on. I don’t mean that .’ Leon scowls. ‘You think I’m wasting my time being here?’

‘You have more important things to think about.’ I sink into the armchair.

‘What could be more important –’ he looks at me, baffled – ‘than breaking this curse with you?’

‘A trip to Peru?’ Shit. Why can’t I keep my mouth shut? ‘The one you postponed?’

Leon’s eyes narrow. ‘And how do you know about that?’

‘I bumped into Pelin today.’ I escape his gaze. ‘She said you’re due to leave soon.’

‘The dates can be rearranged.’ Leon’s tone is cold. ‘Pelin means well, but she’s overthinking it.’

‘She’s worried about you—’

‘I know what I’m doing, Silverbirch. And I’m not going anywhere until I honour Sufi Chelebi’s memory by breaking this curse.’

‘Aren’t you afraid you’ll end up . . . like him?’ The chair squeaks as I shift in it.

‘Only the brave make the best seers. And tell me . . .’ His eyes scan my face, lingering on my lips. ‘Once you taste courage, how can you go back to being a coward?’

Perhaps I am a coward. I break his gaze to remind myself again: I can’t have feelings for him.

His job , Sare . Munu’s voice speaks in my head. This is why he’s here. Do you think he climbs up into your room just for you? Do you think he’ll stop his pursuit of the curse just because you exclude him from your research? Stop worrying about him . Worry about yourself.

How I wish I could erase Munu from my mind, forget everything she has brainwashed me with.

‘So we have a deal?’ Leon distracts me.

‘Fine.’ I fold my arms. ‘I’ll wait for you tomorrow. But come by the front door this time, please.’

‘Am I allowed to break it, if it’s locked?’ He chuckles. ‘That’ll give Azmi a real adrenaline rush when he’s back. I can picture him figuring out what I did, chasing me down with a rolling pin.’

He laughs and when I join in, I realise how long it’s been since I even smiled.

Subject: Re: Job Offer

Date: 5 August 2025

From: Grey the Compassionate, Associate Cherub, Curse and Malediction Archives, Worldly Index, Sacred Data Systems, Halotech Data and Integration Hub

To: Nine the Ninth, Senior Angel of Fate, Fate Adjustment Bureau, Mortal Affairs Commission

My valuable superior Nine the Ninth,

I’m beyond delighted to accept the post. The Temporal Intervention Agency is a dream home for me, and I’m thrilled to be working in the back office.

There’s an old saying that’s attributed to Archangel Mikhael. I’m sure you’ve heard of it. Mend a single thread in the divine tapestry, and you could save the whole holy divinity.

This, my esteemed superior, is my motto, and I can’t wait to join the Temporal Intervention Agency to start improving divine interventions.

I must add, this offer comes as quite the surprise – considering how many roles I’ve applied for over the past century without so much as a whisper in reply – but I’m keen to prove what a brilliant decision it is to employ me.

Yours divinely,

Grey the Compassionate

Doctorate of Angelic Scholarship (Hons)

Thrice longlisted for the Heavenly Achievement Prize