Page 51 of The Book of Heartbreak

Pain, for its sojourn within some, forges a fork in the path ahead: towards wisdom or cruelty. The choice rests upon the inclinations of one’s heart. Wisdom asks naught but a willing mind, yet cruelty always exacts its toll from the soul. Only the wise can offer true forgiveness.

Excerpt from The Book of Betrayal, Müneccimbasi Sufi Chelebi’s Journals of Mystical Phenomena

Defne’s letters pierce me like a sword. I breathe through her sorrow, her guilt, her regret. Funny, what pains me the most is how she signed each note in small, diminished letters, as if she relinquished her right to the name she abandoned.

And Iris . . . I tremble, imagining those last moments Daphne described.

Perhaps it was Azlan’s cruelty that made Daphne hide him from me. I should be thankful I never met that sick fuck. But still, she let it happen, she let it get to that point.

The world falls silent as I close my eyes, only the rustle of papers in my shaking hands remains. It takes a lot for me not to cry. A lot more not to die.

I lost two children. Muzaffer’s words echo in my mind. I became empty.

Perhaps that’s exactly what I’ve become – empty.

With trembling hands, I tuck the letters back into the box.

It must be a miracle that I stay alive. A miracle that Daphne doesn’t kill me a second time.

A fever overtakes me before midnight, drifting like a dream but spreading like a nightmare.

Soon, I’m no more and it’s all that remains.

Perhaps it’s the hopelessness that makes me shiver beneath the duvet, the despair of admitting the curse might win.

How can I possibly fix such a tragedy? Mum’s gone, Iris is gone, and now I’ll be the sacrifice to end what they started.

My teeth chatter, my body aches with thirst. I need water, but instead of forcing myself out of the bed, I fall into a deep sleep.

In my dream, I’m staring at myself in a gilded mirror, brushing my hair. My features begin to blur and shift. My nose grows larger while my mouth shrinks and my eyes darken with hatred. My hair is the last thing to change, deepening into a bolder shade of chestnut.

Soon, my reflection isn’t mine any more.

‘Iris,’ I whisper.

In response, she extends her arm through the mirror to grab my wrist. Her touch sears me.

‘I will not forgive you,’ Iris tells me, and her face rots until her skin is grey. Now, seaweed is entangled in her wet hair. ‘I will never forgive you, even if the earth splits open to swallow you,’ she spits between her teeth, morphing into Munu.

I hear my own scream piercing the night. Buried within the sheets, I’m a creature of sorrow. I want my mother, who I mourn, and Munu, who I cannot trust, and Leon, who I hurt. But they’re not mine any more.

Perhaps they never were.

When my eyes flutter open, daylight streams through the curtains. I straighten up in bed, my body aching as I check my phone to see if there are any calls or messages. It’s 2 p.m.

It takes all my energy to scramble out of the bed, but when I do, I meet with parchment, neatly rolled in a pencil-sized shape and secured with the evil-eye pendant I cast aside on the night I banished Munu.

I pick it up. The gemstone is whole again, no longer broken.

I untie the pendant, then carefully unroll the paper, which reveals itself to be a strip torn from a larger page.

It takes a few seconds to grasp what I’m looking at, but when I recognise Sufi Chelebi’s scribbles, it feels as if I’ve received a letter from an old friend.

Forgiveness stands at the core of healing, it reads. Only the misguided find solace in wrath.

But the journal was destroyed. Wasn’t it? And then I recall what Munu said yesterday.

I will try everything within my power to correct my mistakes.

Did Munu leave it here for me? Did she somehow manage to rescue pieces of it? I flip the page over, and read it again. And again. But there’s no answer.

I sink on the bed and fix the necklace around my neck. The gold chain dangles on my chest. I shiver despite the warm day and bury my head on the pillow once more.

The night becomes cruel. Led by the fever, I wander between nightmares again. My head is hot and heavy, my throat rusty with thirst.

Sometime after midnight, the balcony door clicks open. Someone steps into the room.

‘Silverbirch.’

Leon .

I’m not sure if it’s a dream, or if he’s really here.

‘Sare.’ Leon creeps closer. ‘Munu told me everything. She told me what the curse does to you.’

He is here. I’m not hallucinating. Slowly, I drag myself to sit up in bed.

‘I’m sorry,’ I whisper. ‘I couldn’t—’

‘Here –’ he reaches for the cup on my bedside table – ‘drink.’

Between my dry lips, I feel the cool, soothing touch of the water.

‘I love you, Silverbirch.’ He sets my head on the pillow. ‘And I’ll be damned if I break your heart.’

I love you too , I whisper in my mind. Please stay. Please don’t go.

But my lips won’t move.

I wake to the smell of toast and butter. When I open my eyes, the day is bright and I’m not alone.

Leon sits in the armchair.

Leon. He didn’t leave.

‘You . . .’ I struggle to sit up. ‘You’re here?’

‘If you thought even for a second that I could leave you,’ he says, ‘you are an idiot.’

I pause, my eyes lingering on the tray on the bedside table: two slices of buttered toast, a Snickers bar, a cup of piping-hot tea. ‘Did Munu really tell you everything?’

Leon nods. ‘Everything.’

I should feel furious at her for not keeping her mouth shut. But part of me is relieved I wasn’t the one who told Leon, and comforted by the fact that he finally knows.

‘But what if . . .’ I swallow hard. ‘What if you become like Sufi Chelebi?’

‘Chelebi gave his heart to someone who didn’t belong to his world.

But you and I . . . We belong together, Sare.

It’s like destiny has bound us with an invisible cord – I can’t pull myself away from you.

All I can think of is the feel of your skin under mine, your scent, the weight of your gaze.

The way you walk. The way you tuck your hair behind your ear.

The way you blink. Your glow. How your lips move, how they curl up on the rare occasion of your smile – it drives me mad.

’ He pauses. ‘And if this is madness, then I own it. It’s mine, not Chelebi’s, and I call it love. ’

The bond between us, I think silently. It is indeed a tight and unseen cord. He can move about the house now, and I could tell where he is. If he goes to Peru I’m certain I’d still be able to find him – that I could take a map of the world, close my eyes and pin my finger to where he lives.

He belongs to me.

‘I was a fool, not telling you to stay.’ My throat runs dry with his confession. ‘And I’ll forever regret hurting you.’

I reach for the tray and take a hungry bite of toast. When I next seek the aid of tea, the liquid touches my tongue, warm and sweet. How did Leon prepare it exactly how I like it? Two spoonfuls of sugar, no milk.

‘I’m sorry I lied to you when I was angry with others for deceiving me.

’ I savour my confession. ‘I’ve died of heartbreak, and a fifth will be the end of me.

I was frightened. I’ve spent my whole life feeling frightened.

And suddenly you appeared and promised a –’ I take another sip of tea – ‘solution. It confused me.’

‘I know.’ Leon smiles, eyes full of compassion. ‘I know how much strength it takes to survive a curse like this.’

‘You know what will happen to me?’ My voice is a croak. ‘The curse will claim my heart if I don’t win against it. And then I won’t be able to love you back. What will happen, then?’

‘I don’t care, Sare.’ Leon’s jaw tightens. ‘I don’t need you to love me, but I need to be near you. Unless—’ He pauses, voice faltering. ‘Unless you don’t want me at all. But I want to be with you, no matter what.’

A smile tugs at my lips. It must be contagious, because he mirrors me. What a miracle it is to say yes with a mere glance into his eyes, without the use of words at all.

‘And there’s still time. I know how stubborn you are, and I know you’ll break the curse. Didn’t I always say? Sufi Chelebi’s book chose you for a reason.’ He grins.

I gasp, suddenly remembering the fragment I found the night before. ‘There’s a piece of it here. On the desk.’

‘Munu retrieved it,’ Leon says. ‘Her boss, Five, tried to destroy Sufi Chelebi’s journals, but it seems indestructible.’

Forgiveness stands at the core of healing .

I retrieve the torn parchment. Outside, a motorbike with a wailing exhaust pipe runs along the street.

‘They underestimate us, these celestials. Mortals can be immortal too.’ I brush the paper with my thumb. ‘Look at Sufi Chelebi – he perished long ago, but he’s still here.’

Leon’s eyes narrow.

‘If this tiny piece has chosen not to be destroyed . . . It may be the key to breaking the curse.’ My voice pitches, hope stirring in my chest. ‘I found out what happened between Iris and Defne,’ I continue. ‘What my mother did.’

‘Your mother?’ Leon frowns. ‘She triggered the curse?’

‘It was Iris who said the beddua.’ I swallow hard. ‘She awakened the curse.’

Don’t cry, Sare.

I tell him everything. Not sparing a single detail, despite how much it hurts me to speak.

‘There’s a box of letters.’ I can’t stop. I need to get it all out. ‘Mum wrote to Muzaffer. He never opened them. But I’ve read them. Mum begged his forgiveness.’

Leon stares at me, speechless.

‘My grandfather has to read those letters, he needs closure. He needs to understand how desperately Mum sought his forgiveness, the extent of her regrets, and the depth of her love. He needs to forgive her, for his sake and for mine.’ I reach out and place my hand on Leon’s.

‘What else is there left to do to break this curse? Think about it, Leon. History repeated and they all made the same mistake – they never offered any forgiveness to each other, living in grief, regret or anger.’

‘I don’t know.’ Leon’s eyes escape me. ‘It’s so risky. What if . . . What if he says something that hurts you?’

‘I’ll be okay,’ I mutter.

It’s not exactly a promise.

I knock on the door of Muzaffer’s study, my heart pounding in my chest. The curtains are drawn to contain the afternoon heat, and the room is shrouded in shadows, the only light coming from the glow of a laptop screen. I hesitate, my hand trembling on the doorknob.

Finally, I gather my courage and take three steps, the box of letters in my hands.

Muzaffer looks up from his computer. His red-rimmed eyes are hollow, and his skin pale and clammy. Bocek lies on his lap, swooshing her tail, as if she too realises how sad her owner is.

‘I’m sorry,’ I stammer, my voice barely a whisper. ‘I was cruel to you. I was so angry.’

He looks at me, speechless. A thousand doves flap their wings inside my ribcage.

Still, I propel to the desk and place the box on it.

‘I read them—’ I pause, fighting back my own tears. ‘I thought you too might want to hear what she had to say.’

He remains still.

‘She deserves it,’ I whisper. I’ve never been so close to giving in to my urge to cry. The warmth of tears is a distant feeling, like the hum of a half-remembered song.

He nods. A tear rolls down his sunken cheek.

I place my hand on his. It doesn’t sting like a stranger’s any more. His fingers fidget lightly, offering a fragile truce. Perhaps in time, we will heal each other, the fragments of a family stitched with the invisible thread of our pain.

I always wondered if the hurt would ever fade, when what I should have asked was whether I’d ever grow strong enough to carry it.

‘What happened to Mum wasn’t your fault.’ I’m strong enough to say it. ‘I’m not going to blame you, or her. Not any more. And I promise, I will not look back.’

When I return to my room, Leon’s is pacing, restless.

‘What’s wrong?’ I ask.

‘We have to go,’ he says.

‘Where?’ I blink, taken aback by the sudden shift in his mood.

‘I-I had a message. Munu is in the tower,’ he says, almost breathless.

My lips part to ask why he’d be so compelled by Munu’s whereabouts, but he beats me to it.

‘Grey’s called a meeting, and we have to be there.’

Communication is classified as Highly Confidential.

Circulation strictly limited to beings of celestial origins.

Urgent Meeting Request

From: Grey the Compassionate, Senior Cherub, Temporal Intervention Agency

Required Attendees : Five the Fifth; User15963318 (Temporary Ethereal); M939274856567048343; [email protected]

Place : The Maiden’s Tower / KIZ KULESI (Earth, 41°01′16.2″N 29°00′15.3″E)

Time : 15 August 2025 6 P.M.

Subject : CID-1010834556