Page 46 of The Book of Heartbreak

‘Do you think that’s my problem right now?’ His jaw clenches. ‘Do you think that’s what I care about? The curse?’

I stare at him, clueless. ‘What is it then, if not that?’

‘Do you really not see what I’ve become around you?’ He gives me that sharp, furious look again, as if I’m disturbing his peace. ‘What you reduce me to?’

‘I-I—’ My eyes escape his, inevitably remembering Sufi Chelebi. But Leon knows that I’m not the maiden, and he can’t possibly feel the same way. ‘I’m not sure what you mean.’

And the problem is, I don’t want to find out. I want to pull away, but I’m cornered. Pressed against the bed’s edge, my calves warn me that one more step back will send me tumbling onto it.

He slips a KitKat from his pocket. ‘Here.’ He hands it to me. ‘I figured out that sugar calms you down.’

I stand frozen with the chocolate in my hand.

‘For once, stop being so stubborn and eat it, please.’ Leon sighs.

The plastic wrapper crinkles as I tear it open, wishing he’d stop looking at me like that.

Liar, a voice whispers in my head. You don’t want him to stop staring. You don’t want him to go to sleep. You want him to be awake, and to hold you in his arms and . . . I take a deep breath to silence the intrusive thoughts.

‘Happy?’ I say when I finish eating. ‘Now go to sleep.’

‘You’re a fool if you think I’ll be able to sleep while you’re here next to me,’ he whispers. He sounds just as he sounded that night in the tower when he kissed me.

For a second, I hear my pulse and nothing else.

‘Not everything is as it seems, right? And I see you for what you are,’ he says. ‘So lonely that sugar has become a friend to you. It’s the curse that makes you lonely, I get that.’

‘Leon—’ As soon as I open my mouth, he lifts his hand to stop me.

‘Let me finish,’ he says. ‘The burdens we carry sculpt our being. And your burden, whatever it is, has morphed you into the forlorn creature you are. But I’m no fool, Sare Silverbirch.

’ He leans over. ‘I feel the connection between us, I see the way you look at me. Even if it’s against your nature, I know you can feel the magnetism.

And when I kissed you in the tower, I saw a darkness in your heart, and it burned brighter than any light.

It blinded me, it consumed me, and yet I couldn’t turn away. ’

‘I’m sorry—’ I rush to stop him. My ears are burning, my hands, my chest.

‘Sare.’ He ignores my interruption. My name between his lips sounds like a prayer. ‘You can’t not be feeling what I feel.’

My eyes escape his. Of course I feel it, I want to say. You have no idea how profound your influence is on me. My heart gallops like a wild horse in your presence. You make me forget otherwise unforgettable troubles.

I close my eyes again.

He’ll blow up your heart in five minutes, I hear Munu in my mind. He’s explosive.

I was a fool to think that Leon wouldn’t steal my heart. He already has.

‘Look at me,’ Leon says. ‘Please.’

As if I’m under a spell, I do what he asks.

Outside, the branches of a tree lash against the window. The wind howls so fiercely, part of me wonders if Munu’s out there somewhere, trying to stop what’s happening between us.

‘I love you, Sare Silverbirch,’ Leon says.

‘Don’t you get it? I’ve loved you since I saw you on that balcony with that silly lollipop.

I love you no matter how cursed you are, or whatever the curse does to you.

I love you even if it’s contagious or possessive, even if it drives me mad, even if it ruins me, even if there’s no cure.

I love you even if you’ll never love me back. ’

He cups my face in his hands, and the room shifts like a Salvador Dali painting, the pale furniture elongates, the world slips off its axis, my legs buckle beneath me. It takes every ounce of strength not to fall.

‘I never loved anyone before,’ he says. ‘And it hurts me, keeping it to myself, keeping it a secret from you.’

He loves me. Fuck . He said . . . he loves me.

He removed his armour, leaving himself exposed. Vulnerable. It’s a gamble he plays with his heart and he knows he can lose everything, especially with someone like me. My first instinct is to run, but how can I? I can’t turn away. I can’t resist it. I’m not heartless, not yet.

‘There, I said it,’ he says. ‘And I’m not sorry for saying it.’

It dawns on me then, he expects me to say something back. I may not have the courage to confess it, but still I cannot deny it. I do love him. I know I do. Still holding me, his fingers stroke my cheeks, as if inviting me to speak.

This is dangerous – what he’s doing to me. My heart has never beat faster, it’s never wanted to speak so much, I’ve never wanted to lose control like this.

Love is a disease, Munu whispers in my mind. I try to ignore her.

‘I-I—’ It would be so easy to let it slip, to scream, to wake the whole island: I love you!

But I can’t say it. I just can’t.

Instead, before I can stop myself, I push up on my toes, and kiss him.

Communication is classified as Top Secret.

Circulation strictly limited to correspondents.

This email will destroy itself once read and must be read as carefully as if your existence depends on it.

Subject: Re: Your True Nature

Date: 6 August 2025

From: Five the Fifth, Angel of Death, Field Operations, Mortal Termination and Transition, Mortal Affairs Commission

To: Grey the Compassionate, Senior Cherub, Temporal Intervention Agency, Fate Adjustment Bureau, Mortal Affairs Commission

Cherub,

Let me be clear: your insubordination is not just heresy – it’s a fast track to becoming a fallen angel. One I can easily orchestrate. It will take me one email to the Head of the Divine Disciplinary Board.

It’s not what you know, dear cherub, but who you know that matters.

The choice is yours. Would you prefer I crush your cute little head under my thumb and repurpose your wings as a duster for my office? Or will you seize your new job, be grateful for the opportunity, and leverage it to elevate yourself within the Temporal Intervention Agency?

Perhaps, with proper conduct, you might even earn yourself a halo someday.

Now, piss off.

Five the Fifth

Angel of Death