Page 29 of That Same Old Love

Sidhu was in his bedroom wanting to speak with Ananya privately while she was tidying up their room.

“Anu you have been too harsh on Srishti these past few months. And even when you are with me you seem angry and tensed. I’ve asked you several times and I’m asking you again. Please tell me what is bothering you,” he pleaded with her.

They had just finished having their lunch with the family. Srishti had another outburst and Ananya had disciplined her in front of everyone. Srishti was upset and left the house to visit Samrat.

She looked at him coldly. “How is my behavior affecting you? Did I not cater to everything you needed? Was I not a good wife in anyway?”

He looked frustrated. “You are doing all those things, but I can sense that something is wrong. You haven’t been yourself for a while.”

She was irritated and didn’t reply. She continued tidying up their already clean bedroom.

He stopped her when she began to fluff the pillows and hugged her. “You need to relax, Anu. Let’s do what you enjoy. There is a wedding function tonight that the entire family will be attending. We both don’t have to go and eat there. Why don’t I make a res—”

She shoved him away, hard. “Is that all you want from me? I am just someone you can release your tensions on, in the bed. I’m sick of being your sex toy that you can wind up and have available anytime you want. I have feelings and emotional needs too!”

Sidhu’s expression slowly changed from being concerned to being cold. “I was about to suggest that I would be making a restaurant reservation at the new place that opened. The one you had written about in your blog and said that you would be providing a review to it soon.”

She felt torn. “Sidhu—” she broke off when he indicated with his hand to stop talking.

“That’s okay. I will probably work late tonight as there are some construction plans that I need to go over,” he said expressionlessly.

She felt guilty and frustrated at the same time. She was the one messing up. And Sidhu had always been the sane and mature one right from the beginning.

“I need a break,” she blurted out before she lost her courage.

He nodded absently. “Sure. I know we were supposed to plan a trip together. Why don’t we take it in the coming few days? I’ll make time somehow. Pick whatever place you want to visit.”

She broke into a sob. “No Sidhu. I don’t want to go on a trip, I need a break. I just can’t take it anymore. I’m becoming crazy and I feel like I will burst if I spend one more day here.”

He looked alarmed. “Anu… I’ve already told you that many times. Let’s start looking at some houses soon. There are some really good gated communities that will be perfect for Srishti and us. Maybe we can pick one of those—”

She shook her head. “No Sidhu. I need a break from you. I can’t bear to see you or sleep with you without loving you more and more deeply… and remembering again and again that you—”

He held her face in his hands and looked slightly panicked seeing tears in his strong wife’s eyes. In their decade of marriage, he barely saw her cry. She only shed tears when her grandparents or someone she loved had passed away.

“Anu, what is it? Remembering again and again that I what? Please I’m begging you, tell me,” he insisted.

She felt humiliated that she couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down her face. “That you loved Mahi so much and still have feelings for her. Feelings that would blossom into something more if I wasn’t standing in your way.”

He looked shocked. “Anu, are you mad? I would never ever cheat on you. I love you!” He had shouted the last part.

That made her cry more. “I know you would never cheat on me physically. You are way too principled and nice for that. But emotionally you want her and I find that even worse than cheating on me physically,” she told him softly.

He looked shaken. “Anu, I don’t want anyone but you. Both physically and emotionally. Stop imagining things,” he told her, hugging her desperately.

She broke into sobs. “Please, I need this break. I’m begging you. Let me go for a while. I need to sort myself out.”

His heart was pounding and he felt helpless. “Where? Where will you go Anu?”

“Maybe to my parents’ house. I can stay with my brother. I need some time alone to sort the mess in my head,” she told him softly.

He was quiet for a while and then, “Okay. Take some time away from here. I’ll take care of Srishti. Don’t worry about her. Let her miss you a lot and know how much you mean to her.”

Ananya hugged Sidhu harder while he gently rubbed her back.

“I’ll leave in the morning.”