Page 12 of That Same Old Love

It was a Saturday morning and Mahi had nothing planned for the entire day. She had been so busy at work that she needed the time to simply relax and prepare for the upcoming grueling week and also for her three week work trip to San Francisco in mid-July.

Lately she was clocking in twelve hours at work every day to learn new technologies and also learn about management techniques.

Her managers Mehul and Sanjay were kind enough to offer to mentor her and then send her to training courses in San Francisco while she performed her regular duties at work.

As she sat down with a bowl of fruit and toast for her breakfast, she had a huge craving for a cheese omelet.

That reminded her of the cheesecake and then the last month’s events leading up to the episode she dubbed as ‘Mahi attacks Samrat’ .

The few intense minutes with Samrat had been running in her head in Technicolor most of the nights, making her restless.

She tried blaming her pain medications for her behavior.

But she knew that given another chance when she was well fed and not medicated, she would still jump over him.

But the chance didn’t come. Samrat wasn’t home most of the time, and even if he was, he just ignored her existence.

Or he gave her what she interpreted as ‘oh-god-she-wants-to-seduce-me’ looks.

Mahi sighed loudly, trying to distract herself. She recalled that In-Orbit mall carried a variety of specialty cheeses.

A quick shower and then hailing a taxi service she ended up in the mall. Soon, her cart was full of various cheeses and some other stuff that she definitely didn’t need. “Never shop for food when you are hungry,” she muttered softly while shaking her head.

She was in the check-out line waiting for her turn when she heard a familiar voice. Her heart gave a joyful thump when she realized whom the voice sounded like. There were four more people in between her and that person who was facing away and speaking with the cashier.

It must be Jhanvi !

Especially since the chances of seeing a tall woman who was five foot ten inches tall with a similar voice were pretty low.

Before she could confirm, she found herself blurting out excitedly, “Oh my god Jhanu. Is that you?”

The woman in front stopped talking and turned back to look at her. It is Jhanu! Mahi was overjoyed to see her after so many years. But Jhanvi didn’t seem to return the same feeling. She stared at Mahi coldly and grabbed her bags and walked away.

Confused, Mahi left her shopping cart and ran behind Jhanvi who was walking away pretty quickly. Considering the long legs Jhanvi had, Mahi had to break into a run to catch up with her.

“Jhanu wait!”

Jhanvi stopped and looked back at Mahi with any icy expression. “What is it? I’m in a hurry. So if you don’t mind, get on with it quickly.”

Mahi was puzzled; she thought maybe her friend didn’t recognize her after so many years. “Jhanu… it’s me, Mahi, your college friend,” she said with a joyful smile.

Jhanvi still had a steely eyed look. “So? I know who you are,” she said and started walking to the parking area.

Mahi’s face crumpled. “Jhanu wait. Please. Not you too. I can bear anyone rejecting me, but not you. We promised to be best friends forever remember? Please talk to me. I know I hurt people, but never you. At least not deliberately.”

Mahi felt the sting behind her eyes and soon tears welled up. Jhanvi stared at her for a few more seconds, until she broke down as well.

“You left without saying goodbye. It wasn’t just a broken hearted boyfriend you left behind.

You left me broken hearted too. We were supposed to be in the same Master’s University, get married the same month to our boyfriends, and then plan kids at the same time and grow old together.

You didn’t care for me. All of that was a lie.

You just pretended to be my friend,” said Jhanvi with a quivering voice.

Mahi went closer and looked into Jhanvi’s eyes.

“It was never a pretense. I loved you like a sister that I never had. When I left the country, I was missing your company along with Sidhu’s.

I wanted to talk to you so badly and tell you about the things happening in my life.

I went through hell, but if you had been there with me, I could have faced any kind of hell. ”

“Oh, Mahi.” Jhanvi began to sob and hugged her.

Soon they realized that they had quite an audience around them.

Mahi wiped away her tears. “Okay. Seeing two ‘aunties’ hugging and crying in the middle of a mall is quite a spectacle I think.”

Jhanu laughed. “I missed you so much Mahi.”

“Me too, Jhanu.”

Jhanvi smiled. “Let’s go somewhere. Hubby and the kid have gone to my in-laws place for the weekend. It’s my two day decompress-alone-time of the month that Srinu lets me have. He says it makes his and my son Arjun’s life easier to live with me.”

Mahi grinned, remembering Srinivas who had been crazy about Jhanvi in their college.

“Let’s go to my place. The same one. I got here in a taxi, so I can ride along with you.”

Jhanvi squealed like a little girl. “I’m so excited. Wait. Let me see if any of our other gang can join us today.”

“They live in India too?” Mahi asked excitedly.

“A few of them have always been living here and some have returned from abroad in the last few years like me,” said Jhanvi as she typed in a message: Mahi is here. We are cool now. We are meeting at her old place. See if anyone of you can join us.

During the drive to Mahi’s place Jhanvi told her about getting married to Srinu and having an eight year old boy named Arjun. Both Jhanvi and her husband worked for the same multi-national company and had moved to India two years ago from Seattle on an intercompany transfer.

They reached Mahi’s place and got in with Jhanvi’s bags.

“Hey Paru, Ashu and Smitha are on their way,” announced Jhanvi.

Parvathi was the first to arrive. She was decked up in a heavy sari with a lot of jewelry.

She hugged Mahi. “Oh god. Finally. I had to see you. I ditched attending a wedding midway. I was just about to stab myself in the eye with a fork because of the sheer boredom from listening to the same mundane talk about handbags, jewelry and saris. Thank god I saw Jhanu’s message on time. ”

Mahi laughed, remembering their group’s sense of humor that was very similar to hers.

Ashwini and Smitha arrived in the next hour. Mahi hugged them all and felt happy seeing them after a long time. They began catching up on what happened in their lives during the past years.

When it was Mahi’s turn, she didn’t hesitate laying it all out to them. She felt connected to them the same way they had been during the four years of college.

“The biggest mistake I probably did was to tell Dinesh all about Sidhu,” she said.

“I thought I was being honest with him. He knew I had a boyfriend when he proposed to me through my parents, and he even pretended that he was fine with it at that time. But on our first night… when he asked me if he was my first, I told him he was and also that I was a virgin. But he kept badgering me, asking me what I allowed Sidhu to do to me or what I did with him… And when I told him that Sidhu and I made out when we were together during the four years, Dinesh felt extremely insecure and jealous.”

“He isolated me completely. He didn’t let me speak to any of my friends or family members…

To most outsiders and to my family members, Dinesh appeared charming and friendly.

I was twenty one and naive or maybe just stupid.

He manipulated me emotionally, saying that he loved me a lot, and that it would bring us closer if I didn’t associate with anyone reminding me of Sidhu.

I was allowed only a five minute weekly call to my parents…

Not that calling them and asking them for help had been of any use. ”

Mahi paused when she recalled her initial anguish and helplessness all over again.

Jhanvi held her hands and squeezed it in assurance.

“Dinesh’s moods kept fluctuating very often, making me walk on eggshells all the freaking time.

There was always a reason for him to erupt on me.

Anything, or sometimes everything, like what I had made for dinner, my hair, how I walked, how I spoke or even the way I behaved during sex.

Just about anything! I was a nervous wreck who was always anxious to please him and not make him upset or angry.

And each time Dinesh abused me because he felt insecure or jealous for no reason, I missed Sidhu more, and the vicious cycle continued. ”

“Oh Mahi. Why didn’t you get help?” Parvathi asked with tears in her eyes.

Mahi stared at her floor. “I was embarrassed,” she stated softly.

“I was educated and had enough money to be independent. I kept saying to myself, these things should not be happening to me . I naively thought it didn’t happen to people like us.

I also thought I was a strong person, not taking bullshit from anyone…

But slowly he chipped away my self-confidence…

.Initially I stuck around thinking that maybe he was justified feeling insecure because of Sidhu, and then I kept mentally coming up with some excuse or the other…

Soon it was too late and I felt humiliated that I stayed that long in an abusive marriage. ”

“I was also worried that people would question my accusations, asking me why I stayed for eight long years, if my husband was abusing me right from the beginning. I cried often, and had anxiety and was depressed.”