Page 11 of That Same Old Love

Samrat groaned in his sleep, caught up in a tormenting dream.

Somehow he knew it wasn’t really happening, but he still couldn’t wake up.

It was an erotic dream and Mahi was in it.

She was laughing at him. She was telling him that no one could escape from her wiles.

She lowered her head and bit his nipples hard, arousing him painfully, and then slowly she swirled her tongue in a soothing manner.

She was heading downwards, alternately biting and then soothing him.

Growling, he tried to push her away, but suddenly her naked body was on him. And he could feel her breasts crushing softly against him, and her stomach pressed against his painfully aroused body.

“I know what you want and need. Only I can give it to you. No one else. Do you hear me? No. One. Else,” Mahi whispered in his ear.

“Stop. Get away from me,” he begged her hoarsely, but she didn’t listen; only laughed tauntingly.

Soon he gave up the fight, and held her head in his hands, to push it down to where he wanted her mouth.

Samrat woke up with a violent start, breathing hard.

He was sweating badly and he cursed in frustration and desperation, while his body was still painfully aroused.

Whatever happened a few hours ago in Mahi’s bedroom had been a mistake. A mistake he was thinking about most of the night, replaying the images over and over, and wanting it to end in completion.

“What the hell is wrong with me!”

He hated that she could still do this to him. He wanted her badly, like he hadn’t wanted any other woman in his life.

He closed his eyes at that self-admission and felt a crushing guilt remembering his late wife.

Nandini had come into his life when he was twenty six. At that time, his parents had been anxious to get him married and he was just starting to establish his company, and hadn’t cared about whom he would marry. He simply asked his parents to pick a few girls that he could choose from.

His parents found him a twenty one year old girl, who was a family friend’s daughter. They felt that she would be perfect for him, since they wanted someone who would take care of him, and be a good mother to his future children.

Nandini had been all that, and was also beautiful, sweet and caring. And his parents and sister loved and doted on her too.

When they got engaged, he had been too busy running his company and hadn’t spent enough time with her until their wedding.

And like most arranged matches, they hadn’t been intimate or even kissed before their wedding.

Their first intimacy was on their wedding night, at one of the farm houses in his village.

It had been very awkward because Nandini thought sex was a dirty immoral thing to do, and the days that followed didn’t get any better.

Even though he was always gentle with her, she still couldn’t enjoy their lovemaking.

And each time his body felt the physical need, he had to gently coerce her, and she reluctantly complied.

He was travelling a lot during their initial days of marriage, and when he was home, he was busy with phone calls and other things he had to do for his relatively new company. Nandini had never complained and made sure she catered to his needs all the time.

He had often wondered if she was capable of snapping at him, or if she would ever call him out to make him miserable when he did something to displease her.

After a while, he found her sweet shyness somewhat irritating and he recalled one such time.

He was in his office and was talking to someone icily on the phone before hanging up. Nandini had come to call him for dinner. As he stood and walked over to her, he saw her flinch involuntarily.

He caressed her cheek gently, calming her. “I missed you,” he told her and pulled her closer slowly.

He let her feel his need and waited for her to respond. But Nandini didn’t speak or react in anyway.

“Look at me,” he told her quietly, and she obeyed. He stared into her dark brown eyes that were filled with startled innocence, and not dark fire or any sort of passion. “There’s no reason to be uneasy. I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Okay,” she whispered.

“Why won’t you call me Samrat?”

He had asked her several times before, but the use of his name seemed to be difficult for her. Nandini insisted on calling him formally like how the previous generation’s women addressed their husbands.

“Oh, I…I can’t. You are older than me and my husband. What will your parents and everyone think?” she said softly.

With great effort, he suppressed his rising impatience. “Try.”

“Samrat,” she murmured.

“Good,” he said and bent his head to kiss her softly.

Nandini didn’t move, and only stood passively, waiting for him to do what he wanted. After a while she finally brushed his shoulder with her hand.

He prolonged the kiss, increasing the pressure of his mouth. He wanted more than some quiet acceptance from her. But her lips remained stiff and still beneath his.

He knew that she considered it as part of her duty to sleep with him.

Lifting his head, he looked at her face. Nandini looked like a child who had just obediently gulped down a tonic she hated.

“Dammit, don’t just suffer me, want me and desire me,” he told her gruffly.

She stiffened in shock. “What?” she asked with widened eyes.

He knew he should treat her with tender respect, but his passionate nature demanded a response from her. “Kiss me back,” he commanded and crushed her against his body.

With a surprised squeak, she twisted away from him and looked hurt. Making him feel extremely guilty then.

Since then, he had slowly, but ultimately resigned himself to a life with no passion or the urgency or needs that he personally craved.

He had just made slow sweet love the way Nandini preferred. And over the months, he eventually showed her and taught her about female satisfaction. But even though he had reached his climax, it still left him unsatisfied, wanting more.

And within a year of their marriage, and due to Nandini’s insistence of starting a family right away, they had their baby girl, Sana.

As months and then years passed by, he realized that he wanted an equal partner with whom he could talk about his work, share his problems and be treated like a friend.

Nandini had been more like an old fashioned obedient wife who catered to him.

Any other man would have cherished a wife like Nandini, loved her and been ecstatically happy with her.

That guilt alone made him decide to never to marry again.

But whatever happened between Mahi and him did no way come close to wanting a long lasting relationship of any kind. Mahi had made it pretty clear that she wanted him physically and he already knew that he felt the same way.

He also now knew that he no longer held a grudge against her for the actions from years ago. In fact, he actually liked and also respected who she had become. But he needed to wait and figure out how he felt about her, and then decide what he really wanted from her.