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Chapter Twenty-Three

FALLON

I succeeded in avoiding Mackenzie like the plague for the past several days, mostly due to the fact I only left the building once.

She texted me a few times, but I didn’t respond. There was a knock on my door that might have been her, but I wasn’t sure. I was too afraid to look, and besides, it was late at night, and I was already in bed.

I couldn’t stomach seeing her, and I planned on avoiding her for as long as possible. We could pretend it never happened, right?

I was covering at the bookstore today, so at least I had that as a distraction. Hopefully, Drea was so busy she wasn’t in a talkative mood, and I could just get lost in work and not think about anything or anyone.

When I opened my door and found the hallway empty, I let out a breath of relief. I locked my door and started down the hall toward the elevator when I heard a door open and close, followed by a familiar, smooth, knee-wobbling voice calling my name.

“Fallon?” I froze. Shit, shit, shit!

There was no reason to turn around to know Mackenzie was uncomfortably close. Ignoring her voice, my steps quickened toward the stairs and straight out the door, pretending not to hear a thing.

That wasn’t one of my finer moments, but I didn’t know what else to do. I needed more time to get my thoughts in order, and I couldn’t do that when she had the eyes she did. Mackenzie and her damn ocean-blue eyes were what had gotten me into this mess in the first place. Whenever I looked into them, all my self-control vanished.

Thankfully, the bookstore was busy. When I got there, Drea was running around like a crazy woman.

“Oh, thank God you’re here, love!” she yelled when I came in.

I laughed. “I’m here, so go take a break. I’ve got it.”

She nodded, finishing up with her customer, and I wasted no time jumping in. I didn’t have time to breathe for even a second, which was exactly what I needed.

The last thing I wanted was time for my thoughts to run wild. I knew Mackenzie and I had to talk about it eventually, I just didn’t want to.

My luck ran out after a few hours, when the store quieted down enough for us to grab something to eat and talk.

“So, how are things?” Drea asked as she sat down with her salad, kicking her feet up on a nearby chair.

“Things are good.” I nodded, pretending to be very interested in my chicken fingers.

She glared at me, pursing her lips. “Hmm, good, huh?”

“Yeah, Dre. Good,” I replied, looking confused.

She gave me a skeptical look. “Is that why Mackenzie came in the other day, looking for you?”

My eyes widened. “What?! Why? When?”

She laughed. “So many questions, so little words.”

Scowling, I tried to collect myself. “She came here, looking for me?” Why had Mackenzie been asking about me?

That night was burned into my memory, her touch still lingered. But it couldn’t have meant anything to her, surely. She said she’d done well for herself, after all. It must’ve been nothing more than a bit of fun for her, right?

“Yeah. She said she hasn’t seen or talked to you and wanted to see if you were okay, which I thought was just a little weird, considering you two are neighbors, and you know, live next to each other.” She laughed. No, I’m not okay, I slept with her and I can’t stop thinking about it!

I exhaled sharply. “Well, clearly I’m fine.”

She laughed. “Fine? Then why do you look so terrible?”

I hadn’t really slept well the past couple of days, but I didn’t think I looked that bad. My brain wouldn’t shut off after everything.

“Gee, thanks, Dre.” I groaned. “I went out the other night.”

“Damn, and you’re still recovering?”

I cleared my throat. “Uhh… yeah, kind of. Mackenzie invited me out with her friends to celebrate a promotion at work.”

“Ah, so you’re avoiding her because you had a date and it didn’t go well?” Her eyes lingered on me as she took a sip of her water.

“What’s with the third degree, Dre?” I frowned. “We all went out, as a group of friends. It went… okay.”

There must have been a look on my face, because she didn’t seem to want to let it go.

She set her food down on the table and clasped her hands together like she meant business. “Listen, I didn’t say anything when I left the other day, and it looked like something was going on, but I can’t hold it in anymore. Cut the shit and tell me what’s going on with you two.”

“Nothing is going on! Yeah we went out. I met her friends. It wasn’t a date, at least I don’t think it was. I don’t know, the way it ended, it—” I stopped myself.

“The way it ended? How did it end, Fallon?” She raised her eyebrows.

I was looking everywhere but at her. “Come on, Dre. We need to get back to work.” She refused to let me stand, grabbing my wrist, which caused me to sit back down with a groan. I hadn’t meant to keep talking, but… shit.

“Fallon Rose? How. Did. It. End?” she demanded, each word a little sharper than the last.

I let out a breath and turned to face her. “With me sneaking out of her apartment… in the middle of the night.”

She gave me a wide-eyed stare, and I leaned back in the chair, slamming my eyes shut. “What did I do, Dre?”

“You had sex with her, didn’t you?!”

I opened my eyes and winced. “Well… yeah, I?—”

She squealed. “I’m so proud of you! Was it good? I bet it was. She looks like she’d be phenomenal. Tell me everything!”

Phenomenal didn’t even begin to describe that night, but it was over. Every time I took a shower, memories of our night together came rushing back, and I’d have to take care of myself before I could get out.

I covered my face with my hands. “Oh my God, Dre! It was a huge mistake.” A really really good mistake.

“Have you talked to her since? What happens between you two now?”

I rolled my eyes. “Nothing happens now. I saw her in the hall this morning but I came straight here.”

“Was it good at least? Are you guys ever going to talk about it?” she asked.

Honestly, it was the best sex of my life, but I would rather chew on glass than admit that.

“It’s over, Drea, and I don’t know. I plan to ignore her for as long as possible and pretend it never happened.”

“Well, I don’t think she has the same plan, babe.” She nodded to the door, and I wanted to sink into the floor when I turned around.

“Oh, shit,” I said, watching Mackenzie walk in. “Why?” I whined.

Drea got up and walked over to her, and I tried to beg the couch to swallow me whole. “Hi, Mackenzie, welcome in. Are you looking for Fallon?” Thanks Drea! Please say no.

“Hey, Drea. Thanks. Yeah, I’m sorry to show up like this again. Is she here?”

“Don’t worry about it. Yeah, she’s here. Hey, Fallon, someone’s asking for you,” Drea called out, completely blowing my cover.

I sat up and glared at her, but she only smiled and winked, as if everything was perfectly fine.

She said goodbye to Mackenzie and headed to the back. Just before turning the corner, she glanced my way, mouthing, “Good luck,” earning herself another glare. You’re the one who’s going to need luck when I’m done out here, Drea!

I made myself busy behind the counter when Mackenzie came up to me. “Hey,” she said with a smile.

“Hey,” I replied dryly.

Things were so weird and I hated it. Everything had been awkward before, but somehow, I’d managed to make it worse. Maybe if I hadn’t avoided Mackenzie or acted like I was invisible, we wouldn’t have been stuck with this unbearable tension.

I pretended to look busy. Eye contact was the last thing I could manage. “So, how can I help you?” I asked.

“You can start by telling me why you ran out on me. I felt very cheap.” I tensed for a moment at the mention of that night before resuming my shuffle of some random papers. She didn’t need to know I had no idea what I was doing. I was just trying to keep my eyes anywhere but on her. I knew that with one look, my resolve would crumble.

“I didn’t run out, I… had to work.” I couldn’t even look up from the counter when I answered.

“At four in the morning? Hm. You can also tell me why you’re avoiding me,” she went on.

I sighed, not looking at her as I went to stock some books. I didn’t place them where they were supposed to go, but I could always fix them later. I just needed something to do. “I’m a nurse, I work weird hours. I’m not avoiding you, Mackenzie, I’ve just been busy.”

I turned to walk away when she grabbed my wrist and I stopped, gasping at the contact. The heat of her touch radiated through me. Her grip was firm, yet gentle, like she was holding me just enough to keep me in place without hurting me. Like she couldn’t stand any more distance between us. I wanted the distance; I needed it.

“You’re avoiding me, Fallon. You won’t even look me in the eyes. Can we just talk for a second, please?”

I straightened up and looked at her. “I told you, I—” I stopped when our eyes met. Those ocean blues pulled me in, and all I could think about was the way they looked that night—full of darkness and lust. I remembered how they raked over me when I walked into the bar. Just thinking about it now, I could barely stand while she looked at me.

I cleared my throat before softening my tone. “I’ve been busy. Listen, Mackenzie, I need to get back to work. Do you need help finding something, or?—”

“No, actually. I was just leaving.” She let go of my wrist and turned around, heading for the door. My stomach churned, and I buried my face in my hands, feeling like I’d swallowed something bitter.

“Hey, sweetie,” Drea said in a sweet and innocent voice. “How’d it go?”

I glared at the traitor. “How I knew it would. It was awkward and horrible. Thanks for that!”

“I’m sorry, love. I was just trying to help.” She seemed genuinely apologetic, but I couldn’t find it in me to be accepting just yet.

“What’s the point of having a best friend if they can’t lie for you?” I scowled.

“You know you’re going to have to talk about it eventually, right?”

I sighed. The problem wasn’t just that I didn’t want to talk about it—I wanted to forget it ever happened. But the worst part? I still wanted it to happen again. “I know. I’m just not ready to talk right now.”

“You know I’m here for you, love. No judgment.”

I smiled at her warm words. “I know, Dre. Thanks. I don’t want to talk about her anymore. Can we get back to work, please?”

She laughed before heading back to the counter as a customer walked in. I groaned, turned back to the books I’d shelved wrong, and finished my shift.

When we finally closed up, I decided to take the long way home, letting my thoughts consume me. It felt good to be alone in the crisp fall air, with only the sound of the wind against the trees to keep me company. Lost in my own head, I hadn’t realized I’d forgotten to check my phone all day until the sharp sound of an incoming notification jolted me. The last thing I needed was to see an unread message when I opened my notifications:

Mackenzie: We need to talk, Fallon.

Every muscle in my body tensed, and I groaned, staring up at the sky. I knew I couldn’t avoid her forever. That night with Mackenzie had been the best sex of my life. The way she worshiped and explored every inch of me, each touch setting my body on fire. But I had to remind myself it wasn’t going to happen again. So why bother talking about it?

In the end, I gave in and texted her when I got home:

Me: There’s nothing to talk about, Kenzie.

Mackenzie: You can’t ignore me forever. We live across from each other.

Me: I’m not ignoring you, I’m texting you aren’t I? I’m just busy. I’ll see you later?

Mackenzie: Later, I guess…

I threw my phone on the bed in frustration. I wanted to crawl under a rock and disappear, but instead, I did the next best thing and took a cold shower, hoping it would snap me back to reality.

We were just starting to be friends, and then I had to go and ruin everything by being attracted to her. She’d given me an out multiple times, and I hadn’t taken it. I wanted to stay. I wanted to explore whatever was between us, but I shouldn’t have.

I wasn’t ready for any kind of relationship, and Mackenzie didn’t seem like the relationship type anyway. She was so far out of my league, and it was better to stop thinking about what could’ve been. No one wanted damaged goods.

The following day, I walked into Brewed Awakening and paused when I saw Rylee behind the counter.

I hadn’t even stopped to think about what she might know about that night. Did Mackenzie tell her what happened? She must’ve seen us together. We didn’t dance the way friends were supposed to, at all. Not to mention, I kissed her, and then there was what I said to her… oh God!

I raised my chin and walked to the counter. We were all grown women, and there was no reason to run and hide.

“Hey, Fallon! How are you?” she asked with a smile.

“Hey, Rylee. I’m good. Can I get my usual, please?” I said in response. I smiled back, but there was more of an awkwardness in it.

“Of course!” She started making my coffee without another word, acting totally normal. Either she was oblivious to the situation, or Mackenzie told her to act like she didn’t know anything.

“I’m so glad you came out the other night, it was so fun.” Her warm voice pulled me out of the loop of anxious thoughts I was stuck in.

“Yeah, me too.” Despite my current feelings, I was glad to get out and meet new people. Mackenzie’s group was so warm and welcoming, and they made me feel comfortable.

“You guys looked like you had fun?” Oh, we sure did…

“Uh, yeah, it was fun. I definitely needed it,” I said, trying to sound casual. And it was true. But what happened after the bar? I needed that even more, and to be honest, I wanted it again.

“Well, I’m glad. You two looked really good together. I know she said you’re just friends, but I don’t think I’ve seen Kenzie that happy in a long time. It was really nice to see. She deserves it. She couldn’t take her eyes off you all night, and it looked like you were having some trouble there as well.” The smirk she gave me did nothing to calm my racing heart, and all I could do was blink. I didn’t know what to say after that.

We were just friends… who happened to sleep together, but a friendship wasn’t supposed to cross that boundary. I was the one who initiated everything, and I accepted the consequences because part of me wondered if maybe we were meant to be more than friends. It wasn’t just sexual chemistry, either. For a while, I’d felt like something was missing, like Mackenzie could’ve been that missing piece. How pathetic was I? We slept together once.

I also wasn’t sure what we were anymore. We hadn’t talked about what happened or what it meant—if it meant anything at all—which was mainly my fault because I refused to even think about it, let alone have a civilized conversation.

The second we addressed it, I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep pretending it never happened. I would have to face it, and I wasn’t ready for that, but I knew my opportunity to make things right was closing.

“Well, I gotta run. Thanks for the coffee.” I smiled as I quickly grabbed my drink and bolted out the door.

“Yeah, no problem, See ya,” she replied with a frown.