Page 9

eight

Lunar sat on the edge of his bed his mind everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Kamari was tucked against him. his little breaths were steady and his body warm and relaxed. Having him close to him felt good, like it was what it was supposed to be. Kamari had been giving everyone a run for their money but he’d taken a strong liking to Lunar. It was a quiet comfort Lunar hadn’t realized he needed until now.

The vibration of his phone rattled against the nightstand. It was an unknown number but he answered anyway.

Exhaling, Lunar dragged a hand down his face. “…Yea?”

There was a beat of silence.

“Lunar.” Ahvi’s voice came out low and uncertain. Like she was trying not to feel too much, trying not to let too much slip.

He adjusted Kamari against his chest. “I was wondering when you was gon’ call.”

She exhaled, something like a breathless laugh but too drained to carry any real humor. “Yea, well. I been busy… you know?”

He snorted a ghost of a laugh. He knew that tone. Knew the way people talked when they were backed into corners and barely holding on. He’d witnessed it with Bu and that shit hurt like he was the one locked away.

Lunar leaned his head back against the headboard and shifted the phone between his fingers. “You good, though?”

Every time he laid eyes on Kamari, he thought about all the ways he could help his mama because something in him was telling him that was his purpose—to save a little black boy so he could dream and live and be loved.

Lunar had done his research on Ahvi. He heard what the officers said she was being arrested for again. He’d even gone as far as having the family attorney, Elle give him a little more background info about her. What he’d concluded was, Ahvi was a mother having to be a father and was willing to do anything for her baby.

Ahvi scoffed softly. “As good as I can be when I gotta serve thirty days.”

That got his attention. His brows pulled together, something twisting low in his gut. “Probation violation?”

“Yep.” Her lips popped.

“Damn, Ahvi.”

Her name still sounded sweet coming from his lips.

“Yea,” she sighed, “and it gets better. I got sixty days after I get out to prove I got a job or they’ll give me some real time.”

His jaw tightened. That wasn’t enough time to build anything real. The system wasn’t built for people like them, though. It was built to cycle them through, over and over, until they couldn’t find a way out.

But Lunar had been raised by dreamers so he knew there was always a way out.

Ahvi cleared her throat, shifting on the other end. He could hear the muffled sounds of the jail - voices, the occasional buzz of a security door, and the distorted echoes of too many lives trapped in one space.

“How’s Kamari?” she finally asked, her voice softer now.

Lunar glanced down at the baby, at the tiny hand curled against his chest. “He’s sleep, Ahvi.”

“Wake him up.”

Lunar frowned. “What?”

“How I know you haven’t killed my baby?”

He laughed, shaking his head. “That’s crazy.”

“Yea, well…so is trusting a stranger with my son.” Her voice was sharp, but underneath it, he heard the real reason…fear.

She was afraid…afraid of losing Kamari…afraid of losing herself…afraid of what came next.

Lunar softened, “Where’s his daddy?”

Silence stretched as Dro’s absence in Kamari’s life loomed between them.

“I don’t know,” she whispered.

Lunar exhaled through his nose, rubbing his free hand over his face. He had figured as much, but hearing her admit it made it real…made Kamari’s reality even heavier.

The silence between them continued.

Without really thinking, he blurted out, “I feel crazy, you know?” There was so much he needed to get off his chest, and for whatever reason, talking to Ahvi felt safe.

Ahvi didn’t say a word, she just listened.

Lunar swallowed, staring at the ceiling like the words were written up there. “I miss him…my dad and I never even knew him. Ain’t that crazy?” His voice trailed off. “Like, how do you miss somebody you never met?”

Ahvi let out a slow breath, “Because he’s a part of you.”

Squeezing his eyes shut in frustration, Lunar let her words sink in.

“He’s a part of you…he’s in the way you think, the way you move, the way you love,” she continued. “Just ‘cause you never met him doesn’t mean he ain’t been with you this whole time.”

Lunar swallowed hard, pressing his fingers into Kamari’s back gently, grounding himself in the baby’s warmth.

Ahvi’s voice softened. “You were his dream, Lunar. Like Kamari is mine.”

His chest tightened.

Ahvi shifted again, and the sound of the phone brushing against her shoulder filled the space between them. He imagined her there, sitting on one of those stiff metal benches, her back against the cinder block walls with the scent of industrial cleaner and cheap soap thick in the air. She probably had the phone cord twisted in her fingers, nails bitten down from stress.

“You ever feel like… somebody sent you?” he murmured feeling crazy for allowing his inner thoughts to seep out.

Ahvi hummed. “What you mean?”

He looked down at Kamari, at the way the baby’s little face relaxed in sleep, his tiny lips parted. “Like… I was supposed to be there…to help you…for Kamari.”

A beat of silence filled the already anxious phone call.

“Yea,” she replied softly.

It was just one word, but it felt like more…like understanding…like maybe he wasn’t the only one trying to find meaning in all this.

Lunar didn’t realize how much he needed this conversation until right now…until her.

Ahvi sighed, “Lunar.”

“Yea?”

“I know you a superstar and shit but you think you can bring him to see me? I already put you on my visitation.”

Without hesitation, Lunar agreed. Her request was so simple that it was a no brainer for him. When it came to Kamari’s wellbeing, he would do whatever—even if that meant putting the world in their business. ‘Cause because he knew it would only be a matter of time before the press got ahold of Ahvi’s visitation, once he showed his very public face made an appearance in that visitation room. But somehow he felt a strong bond to Kamari like he owed it to him to be there as the kid was fatherless.

Her voice was low, like a secret confession, “Thank you.”

Lunar blinked, caught offguard. “For what?”

She hesitated. “…For giving a damn…for doing something you didn’t have to do. I’ll never be able to repay you but make no mistake, I will do you dirty about my son…about my heart.”

Lunar didn’t say anything. He just let the words settle, forming a new bond between them before the line clicked because her time was up.

Lunar made a mental note to put money on her books. He wanted to hear her voice more, to get to know her better and for her to be able to check on Kamari whenever she wanted.

A deep sigh escaped him, and a small smile cracked the corner of his lips. “I’m gon’ be yo’ stepdaddy Mari,” he whispered, a jovial laugh shaking his chest at his own crazy antics.

Everything about his life in that moment felt right and real—like Lunar was nudging him into the promise of love.

* * *

The visiting room was colder than she remembered. Cement blocks for walls, plastic chairs that scraped across the tile like they were mad at the floor. COs posted up on the wall like mannequins. Tension everywhere—that felt the same.

Ahvi sat waiting. Ponytail fuzzy now. Her jumpsuit was stiff with her hands folded in her lap like she could will herself to be calm.

When the doors buzzed, Lunar walked in like he wasn’t carrying half her heart in his arms.

Black hoodie, black cargos, and fresh kicks that didn’t belong in there. Lunar’s face was calm and unreadable but not cold or like he was out of place. And Kamari was laid across his chest like he’d been there all his life. Kamari’s big eyes bounced around the room, being nosy. Seven months old, and already claiming space like a little king.

Ahvi’s throat tightened.

Lunar sat down slowly, adjusted Kamari with one hand and looked at her with the other. Their eyes met for the first time since that day outside the store. Kamari’s eyes lit up as he reached for her.

She hadn’t planned on speaking first. But the words slid out anyway. “You really brought him.” Ahvi held her hands out for Lunar to pass Kamari to her. Jade City jail allowed parents to hold babies under the age of two after a thorough search and depending on the inmates charges. Since Ahvi’s charge wasn’t violent, they allowed her to hold her son.

Lunar nodded once. “Told you I would.”

“I missed you Mari,” she cooed, kissing all over him and allowing him to do the same. “He looks good.” Ahvi smiled. “Did he cry?”

“A little - first night was rough,” Lunar said. “But he slept through last night. Ate good this morning. He likes oatmeal and hates applesauce.”

Ahvi let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “That sounds like him.”

“He got a strong grip,” Lunar added, holding up his hand. Faint little scratches from Kamari’s nails marked his skin. “Was tryin’ to fight his car seat it was the opps.”

That made her smile, even though her eyes burned. “He hates being strapped in.”

Lunar looked at her, not with pity—just quiet awareness. Like he knew how hard it was to live without your baby.

“I been playing music around him,” he said after a moment. “Low, mostly instrumentals. He hums. Well, his version of it.”

“He sings with his eyes closed sometimes,” she laughed. “I used to think it was gas… but it’s not.”

“How you holding up?” Lunar asked.

Ahvi shrugged. “I’ve been better…I’m not built for this,” she added. “This ain’t who I am.”

“I know.” Lunar really didn’t know but felt like he did. He understood how people made dumb decisions for the people they loved.

“I was just…tryna feed him, make a little money. My plan was to go home, season everything, make plates and run them to the block by dinnertime.”

Lunar nodded. “You told me at the store.”

Her jaw clenched. “Didn’t think I’d end up in cuffs over food and a can of Similac.”

“You ain’t steal because you wild, you did it ‘cause you ain’t have a choice.”

“Still landed me here,” she muttered, blinking fast.

“This shit temporary.”

She looked up at him, eyes sharp. “You got a thing for saying stuff like you know how my life gon’ turn out.”

He cracked a small smile. “Maybe, but I’m usually right.”

That pulled a reluctant smirk out of her as Kamari bounced on her thighs.

“How’s the phone?” she asked suddenly.

He blinked. “How you get the phone, anyway?”

Ahvi looked around the room, taking in how eyes seemed to focus on Lunar. They probably recognized him as Nar. “Found it in my daddy’s old stuff. I told you that.”

“Yea, but that don’t explain to me how he got it. He know Big Lunar or something?” Lunar leaned in, his eyes turned into slits. He needed to know the facts about the phone because it was a strange transaction.

She huffed, her chest rising and falling quickly. “Look, I can’t really say for sure but here’s my theory. Ish, my daddy did construction. If he found something he deemed as interesting or valuable, he brought it home. I believe while he did the beautification of The Jig in Sapphire City, he stumbled across the phone. Does that sound like it makes sense to you?”

Scratching the back of his head, he thought over what she said. Tiny had done her research on Ahvi’s whole family and they found out that her father was one of the construction workers for the project. When Javen went to the pros, they renovated their old neighborhood in Big Lunar’s honor. Ish was hired with the construction crew to renovate some of the homes. So, Ahvi’s theory made sense to him.

“I guess it makes sense…still feels surreal though.” He stared at the wall. “I watch the videos every day...”

Ahvi licked her dry lips. “I watched a few videos too. You look just like him.”

“I know.” Lunar smiled. “It’s the only thing I have of him. Kamari gets wrapped up in his voice too.”

Ahvi nodded, looking down at Kamari. “It’s like you have your own personal line to the afterlife.” She thought about her own father and how much she missed him.

Lunar laughed. His joy felt contagious because she snickered a little too. “I really appreciate you but as soon as I get in touch with Kamari’s daddy I’ll send him to get him… I don’t want you to have to rearrange your life for us.”

“Okay,” was all he could say because saying he wanted to keep her son sounded weird and they were already in a weird enough space.

Ahvi’s eyes roamed down to Kamari again. He was starting to stir, mouth making those tiny baby sounds that came before the whining. She shifted him knowing he didn’t have much longer before he turned the visitation room upside down.

“You good with him,” she said quietly, thinking about how effortlessly Lunar carried Kamari into the room.

“Thanks,” Lunar replied. “I got him. You know until, his dad comes to get him.” His brows dipped like saying it caused him pain.

The words made her chest ache. Not because she didn’t believe him—but because she did. “You don’t have to keep doing this,” she said after a long pause. “You gave me ten grand for that phone. That should’ve been the end of it.”

“Maybe for you,” he said. “But I’m not wired like that.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“Not yet,” he said, “but I will.”

Her breath caught.

And there it was again - that shift - the kind that didn’t scream but lingered. A low burn under the surface.

“You ever been with a woman who came with a baby?” she asked, just to see if he flinched.

He didn’t. “Nah.”

“Then you might want to rethink all this.”

“I don’t scare easy.”

“I bite.”

He grinned. “So do I.”

The sound of the CO slapping the wall snapped the moment in half.

“Time’s up.”

Ahvi stood slow, heart tight. She looked at Kamari again wishing she could walk back out with him. Wishing Lunar would reach his arms out to grab her up too but life had never been fair to her. So instead, she had to hand her son off and watch him go with a man she didn’t know but somehow felt she could trust.

Her chest twisted when Kamari went to Lunar with ease.

“Can you bring him again next week?” she asked, already knowing the answer.

Lunar nodded. “Every week, Ahvi.”

Her fingers curled around the edge of the table. “Tell him I love him…every day.”

“I do,” Lunar said, “even when you don’t ask.”

She turned to go, eyes wet now, throat tight. She didn’t look back…she couldn’t.

But Lunar stayed sitting for a few more minutes, rubbing Kamari’s back slowly, saying nothing but thinking everything.

2 weeks later

“Put them headphones on him,” Lunar fussed from the recording booth when he saw Kamari’s wild ass had done snatched them off.

He was crawling and getting into everything. As the days passed, Kamari got used to his surroundings and the people that seemed to rotate in and out. He was still only really messing with Lunar and Pimp but he’d let Aku hold him too now and then.

Aku shook her head. “Hurry up so you can get his bad ass! How he so young but getting into everything?” she huffed, trying to put the headphones on him. Kamari was on something else though. He bobbed his head away from her, like he was skilled at getting on her nerves.

As soon as she put them on, he snatched them back off.

Lunar cracked up. “Aye!” he called out through the speakers, startling Kamari since he knew that tone of voice meant he was in trouble.

“You ain’t gotta yell at him,” Aku fussed. She liked to talk about how busy Kamari was yet she was taking up for him. I mean how could you not? He was the prettiest brown baby with wide eyes, a head full of hair, and a gummy smile that had everyone wrapped around his fat fingers.

Pimp scooped him up after he pressed a few buttons on the soundboard. Lunar had been inspired so they stayed in the studio. In Pimp’s mind, his boy was putting down some of his best work. He had no idea where the inspiration was coming from but he was rocking with it.

Outside of the in-home studio, Lunar hardly left the house. If he wasn’t hitting up the stores to get Kamari what he needed or at the jail visiting Ahvi, he was in the house. It was like the events of the last two weeks gave him a new outlook on life.

“Your phone ringing.” Aku flared her nose at Apple’s name flashing across the screen.

Clearly, Lunar had been feeling so good that he was back talking to Apple as if his people hadn’t put hands on her that night at the club. Before then, Aku and Noodle were cool with her. Now, Aku couldn’t stand her.

Pimp laughed, “You ain’t gonna let that girl make it - huh?”

“And you ain’t gon’ let Bobby Jr. make it?” she shot back.

Flicking her off, Pimp instructed Kamari to do the same, even going as far as twisting his little finger for him to do it. Bobby Jr. was still a sore spot for Pimp. He thought that was going to be his forever, which was preposterous in itself, since Bobby Jr. hadn’t come out yet to his dad. His mom and granny knew he was gay but somehow that information was never passed to Big Bobby.

What should’ve been an issue from the jump, didn’t become a problem until Pimp had given him his heart. But Pimp was a real nigga so he didn’t shed many tears behind it. He didn’t even get mad when his big brother Bu chastised him for moving reckless in the first place.

Now, he had his head down, focused on running the label.

“Aww, did I hit a nerve?” Aku wiggled her shoulders.

“Hello?” Lunar cut into their back and forth to answer his phone once he was out of the booth.

“What you doing?” Apple inquired.

“In the studio.” He was barely listening to Apple’s voice, his fingers idly tapping against the armrest, his mind only halfway in the conversation.

“Who all there? I’m in Emerald City and was thinking about driving up to you.”

Lunar smirked, stretching his long legs out in front of him. He knew Apple too well. She wasn’t just ‘thinking’ about it—she was already on the way, probably halfway to the freeway by now.

“What yo’ nigga gon’ think about that?” His voice held a teasing edge, laced with that signature Lunar pettiness. Bringing up Bently was him being petty, and he knew it.

Pimp shook his head while Aku’s face said everything—she still wasn’t feeling Apple.

Apple clicked her tongue, kissing her teeth in that way that told him he had just annoyed her. “I’m single…been single.”

That was Apple for you. Always claiming independence, always moving like she had no attachments, even when everybody knew otherwise. She was one of those ‘I’m single until I’m married’ type of women. Never putting a rush on commitment, never eager to slap a title on anything. It was the thing that made her enticing but also made her exhausting. The reason why they never quite worked.

And the reason they could never fully let go either.

Lunar adjusted Kamari on his lap when the baby reached for him, his tiny fingers patting at Lunar’s chain before settling against his chest. He was such a loving baby when he wasn’t terrorizing everyone and everything.

“Oh yea…single,” Lunar repeated, his tone flat, unimpressed. “What you tryin’ to come my way for?”

Apple’s laughter curled through the phone, soft but dripping with suggestion. “You know why…” Her voice dipped into something lower, smooth, and practiced. She was a man-eater on most days. She knew the power of her model-like face and vixen- sized hips.

Lunar’s brows furrowed together. His smirk didn’t fully fade, but his patience for whatever game Apple was trying to play was running thin. “Nah, I don’t…tell me.”

Before she could answer, a sharp beep cut through the conversation. Lunar pulled the phone away, his eyes flicking to the screen. It was Ahvi. “Aye, let me hit you back. This Ahvi calling.” He didn’t wait for Apple’s response before pressing the button and bringing the phone back to his ear. “Yea?”

Ahvi’s attitude was already on ten. She missed Kamari and with Dro still missing in action, her patience was hanging by a thread. “Stop answering the phone like that. Where my baby?”

Lunar’s smirk returned, stretching slowly across his lips. He could hear the agitation in her voice. The mix of frustration and worry that always sat right at the surface when it came to Kamari. He knew she hated being away from him.

Lunar let his head fall back, amused. “What - they only had water for the cereal again?”

For a second, there was silence, then, laughter. The real kind—the kind that made her voice shake, the kind that softened the edge in her tone. “You ain’t never gonna let me live that down, huh?”

Lunar grinned. “Hell no.”

He could still remember on his last visit to see her, the way she went off about it, standing in the middle of the jail rec room, arms folded tight across her chest, ranting about how tax dollars should at least cover some damn milk. She had been pissed. Real pissed and he spent the whole time trying not to laugh while she fumed.

He glanced down at Kamari, who was staring up at him with big, curious eyes, his tiny hands still gripping Lunar’s chain. “Kamari, you wanna talk to your mama?”

Kamari babbled something, his head shaking in that wild, exaggerated way that made Lunar laugh as he barely dodged being hit by Kamari’s head.

“He said no,” Lunar snorted.

Ahvi’s scoff came through the speaker. “No, he didn’t. Let me talk to my baby… put it on speaker.”

Pimp elbowed Aku with a knowing look.

Lunar pressed the button, setting the phone on his lap so Kamari could hear her voice. “Aight – he can hear you.”

Ahvi’s voice softened, turning sing-songy. “Mariii… Kamari, what you doing, baby?”

Kamari blinked, then proceeded to blow spit bubbles, completely unbothered.

Lunar smirked, watching the exchange like a spectator in an ongoing battle. “Yea… he real focused right now.”

Ahvi huffed. “I can hear that. He drooling?”

Lunar glanced down at the damp patch forming on his shirt. “Hell yea.”

Ahvi sighed, “I miss my baby.”

There it was again - that quiet, aching thing in her voice. Lunar shifted in his chair, rubbing his palm over Kamari’s tiny back…feeling the warmth of him, the steady little rise and fall of his breath.

“Ahvi, he loves you and will never forget you. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

Ahvi hesitated. “I know...I just feel guilty that I’m missing out. Aku said he was standing up and stuff now,” she sniffed.

He cut his eyes at Aku. She put her hands up in mock surrender with a laugh. He’d told her not to tell Ahvi too much about Kamari hitting any milestones because it would make her sad and he didn’t want her to be sad.

After the first time Ahvi couldn’t get in touch with Lunar, she demanded Aku and Pimp’s numbers as backup, since they seemed to be around the most

“And don’t be mad at her. I begged her to tell me all he was doing when I called her after you didn’t answer.”

One minute left.

“It’s okay, Ahvi,” Lunar sighed.

“Okay—” she hummed. “I love you.”

Lunar sat up.

“Kamari…mama loves you,” Ahvi rushed out before the lined cut off.

Pimp’s voice pulled Lunar’s wondering thoughts back. “Y’all got me feeling like I was hearing shit I ain’t supposed to hear.”

“I know - right,” Aku swooned. “Like…”

“Like nothing. Y’all just some hopeless romantics,” Lunar cut her off before standing and heading back into the booth with Kamari still in his arms.

He looked down at Kamari, who was now gnawing on his own tiny fist, his eyelids growing heavy.

Lunar exhaled, rubbing his hand over his face.

He hadn’t planned on any of this…hadn’t planned on Ahvi and her son bombarding his life turning something dark into a beautiful sunset.