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twenty

The freeway stretched for miles with hardly any cars on the road. Lunar leaned back in his seat, one hand on the wheel, the other drumming restlessly on his thigh. Monday stared out the window, hat low and his shoulders tight.

Monday had never experienced anything like that before. He kept going over everything, trying to see if Butta meant what she said about not being in his life. Monday wanted to mean what he said too, but his heart was already second guessing it.

“You good?” Lunar asked, glancing over.

Monday shrugged, with his head still back at the house. “Not really.”

Lunar nodded like he expected that. “Why you ain’t tell me you was ready for sex?”

“Uh, because did you tell me?”

“I’m the big brother. I’m here to help you, guide you and talk to you about the things you don’t want to go to Mama and Pops about.”

“Shit got crazy back there,” Monday muttered, not really wanting to talk about sex. “I ain’t think it was gon’ blow up like that.”

“Nobody ever do,” Lunar cut his eyes at him. He wasn’t mad. His tone wasn’t even sharp. “You think you got time to fix it…think love gon’ cover it all, then boom—you standing there looking stupid, trying to catch something already in freefall.”

Monday nodded his head, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “When she told me about missing her period, I didn’t get excited or anything I just thought what would Lunar or Pops do. So, I tried to stand up and be there…I wanted to do right by her.”

He knew he wasn’t ready for a baby and didn’t want Butta to have to give up her dreams either. It was his mind – he just wasn’t fully mature enough yet. Monday was only thinking that with money, he could figure it all out so they both got what they wanted.

“I know,” Lunar said. “But sometimes loving somebody don’t mean holding on. Sometimes it means letting ’em breathe even if it kills you.” His words were for his brother but he felt they applied to his situation too. No matter how much he wanted to show Ahvi he was in her corner, he knew she had to come to that conclusion on her own. Maybe he’d gone about it the wrong way, maybe it just wasn’t meant to be…maybe all Big Lunar had asked God for was for Kamari to be in his life. Just the thought made his throat swell up.

The truck rumbled down the dark highway. Monday shifted like he was about to let it go, but something else came to mind when he looked over at his brother. He could see the tears in Lunar’s eyes and the strain on his face.

“Ma told me once that you were just like your daddy—wearing your heart on your sleeve.”

“Oh yea?” Lunar kept his eyes on the dark road, knowing deer were known to jump out.

Monday nodded. “You know what’s crazy?” he said after a long minute. “Ma barely ever talked to me about Big Lunar…it’s like he ain’t even real sometimes. But there were always small instances when she’d mention him to me.”

Lunar’s hand tightened slightly on the steering wheel. “She didn’t talk about him much to me either.”

“I used to think…maybe she was scared to tell me ‘cause I wasn’t really his kid,” Monday revealed. “Like she kept that part for you, ’cause you was his blood.”

Lunar blew out a slow breath. “Maybe…I asked her about it once. Why she kept him locked up so tight. She said…” he trailed off, shaking his head with a tired smile. “Said she wanted to keep some parts of Big Lunar for herself, for safe keeping.”

Monday frowned. “That’s kinda selfish.”

“It is,” Lunar agreed, “but it’s human too. When you love somebody that deep, you scared if you let the world have ‘em, even the memory gets smaller. You start losin’ the pieces you was tryna protect.”

Monday leaned back, processing that. It started to make sense why he saw his big brother fighting so hard to hold onto Ahvi—why he thought about holding onto Butta.

“I just wish I knew more,” Monday admitted. “What he was like…what you got from him.”

“From what everybody says?” Lunar shrugged, “I got his heart - wear it all loud and messy on my sleeve. Big ass love for people who probably don’t deserve it. Always wantin’ to save shit.”

Monday huffed a laugh under his breath. “Yeah, you a soft ass nigga lowkey.”

“Fuck you,” Lunar shot back, grinning, “but facts.”

They both laughed, the sound shaking loose some of the heaviness.

“And you,” Lunar added, pointing at Monday without looking, “you got that fire from Mav -that grind…that hunger…that ‘fuck the odds type spirit. That’s all Mav, and that’s why you about to be league-bound while half these niggas still runnin’ in circles.”

Monday smirked a little, pride flashing across his face even though he tried to play it cool. Anything that came from his big brother was the gospel. At least that’s what his dad told him. Mav made sure to teach them to be close and to love on each other despite everything else going on around them.

“Still ugly though,” Lunar added, deadpan.

Monday busted out laughing, smacking the dashboard. “Man, fuck you!”

Lunar chuckled, but his voice turned serious again as he eased up on the gas, coasting down the empty stretch toward Emerald City.

“But listen to me,” he said, voice dipping into that older brother weight. “Love ain’t about trapping nobody. It ain’t about promises or plans. It’s about respect. It’s about letting people choose, even when the choice hurts you.”

Monday nodded slowly.

“If Butta don’t keep the baby…if she needs to pick herself first…you gotta love her through that too,” Lunar said. “You ain’t gotta agree. You ain’t gotta clap for it. But you gotta stand up and be the man she needs you to be in that moment. Even if that man just holds the door open and let her walk through it.”

The truck hummed under them, the silence growing heavier but not toxic — just real.

“I don’t wanna lose her,” Monday said after a while, voice cracking just a little.

“I know,” Lunar said, “but love that’s real don’t leave you even when people do.”

They let that sit between them.

No fixing it. No sugarcoating. Just truth.

“Plus,” Lunar added with a grin, “you young, bro. You gon’ have girls throwing they bras at you courtside. Might even get you a cougar or two if you hit your free throws right.”

Monday barked out another laugh, wiping at his eyes quick like Lunar wouldn’t notice. “Shut up, man,” he said, shaking his head.

“Nah, for real,” Lunar said, still grinning. “One of these old ladies gon’ be in your DMs talkin’ ‘bout -‘Hey nephew’ real seductive.”

“Man, you stupid,” Monday muttered, but he was smiling now.

The skyline of Emerald City started to glow faint in the distance.

“What about Ahvi?” Monday finally found the courage to ask.

Lunar leaned back in his seat as he rolled up to the first red light they’d seen for an hour. He gave his brother his full attention. “Love can’t be one sided. I laid it all out for her. Now, it’s up to Ahvi to figure out if she wants all this dope ass love I got to give her.”

“What if she don’t?”

Now that was a question that he couldn’t answer without second guessing it. “I gotta let her walk through that door,” he smirked. “But best believe I’m coming in behind her ‘cause ain’t no living without me.”

Monday smiled while allowing his head to lean against the seat. “You gon’ tell ma?”

“Nope.”

Monday sighed.

“You are…”

* * *

Devonte, Pimp, and Monday had cleared out quietly behind Lunar. Kamari was still asleep in the guest room that Butta occupied when she was there, completely untouched by the chaos that had unfolded hours earlier. Ahvi sat on the couch, knees pulled to her chest, a half-empty glass of water sweating on the coffee table. She hadn’t moved since Lunar left.

Butta creeped around the corner.

Her eyes were swollen, her face was bare, and her hair was tied up in a silk scarf. She didn’t look like the kid sister who used to raid Ahvi’s closet or beg for edge control in the mornings when she stayed at Ish’s house with her. She looked like a girl who’d seen too much tonight, a girl who was being asked to grow up too fast.

She sat beside Ahvi without saying anything for a long moment, just gathering her feelings and words. “You really let him leave?”

Ahvi didn’t respond, just took a deep breath willing her tears to stay in. Ain’t no need in crying over spilled milk—Ish taught her that too.

Butta pulled her long legs up under her. “I mean…I thought you’d go after him. I was waiting for you to do it.”

Ahvi exhaled hard through her nose. “It’s not that simple.”

Desperately, Ahvi wished it was. She wished she could reprogram her brain chemistry to just allow that man to place the sun at her feet.

“But it is,” Butta’s eyes tightened in the corners. “You had somebody who saw you - all of you. And you let him go cause…what? You were scared he’d hurt you?” she kissed her teeth.

Ahvi’s eyes welled up again, but she kept them fixed on a single spot on the floor. How had the roles reversed? Butta was her little sister, not the other way around, but somehow Butta was schooling her on life and love.

Butta stared at her. “I didn’t want this baby. You know that. I s till don’t. But when I told Monday, he didn’t run. He didn’t flip out. He said, ‘I got you.’ Just like that and for the first time, I felt like maybe I wouldn’t be alone in it.” She swallowed hard. “But tonight, watching you…watching the way you turned your back on the one person who made you feel safe—I got scared all over again. Not just about the baby, but about becoming like you.”

That made Ahvi flinch. Her eyes bounced from that spot on the floor over to Butta, anger flashing through them ‘cause Butta had some nerve.

Butta’s eyes shimmered, but her voice didn’t crack. “I’ve looked up to you my whole life. You’ve always been the strong one…the one who didn’t need nobody…the one who took care of everything when nobody else would.”

“I had to – I had no choice,” Ahvi whispered.

“Duh, cause Sheena ain’t never been shit,” Butta said quickly. “I know you didn’t get to make choices. I know Mama wasn’t there the way she should’ve been. I know Ish did what he could, but he didn’t know how to raise you to be soft. He only taught you how to survive, not how to live, Ahvi.”

Silence fell between them again, and then Ahvi whispered, “I don’t know how to get out of survival mode.”

Butta reached for her hand.

“I get that, but that man loves you and Kamari, and he believed in you in ways nobody else ever has. That restaurant…” she smiled, “yea I knew about it. That wasn’t a flex. That was a man betting on your dreams. You know how rare that is?”

Ahvi finally let the tears fall, “Butta…I’m scared.”

“I know…me too,” Butta squeezed her hand, “but you gotta stop letting fear do all the talking.”

Ahvi turned to look at her baby sister. Her eyes, still tired, still puffy—but wise beyond her years. “You think he’s really gone?” she asked.

Butta tilted her head. “I don’t know, but I know if you sit here and do nothing, he’s gonna stay gone, and you’ll be here on this couch next year still trying to figure out what the hell happened.”

Ahvi leaned her head on Butta’s shoulder. They sat like that, two girls figuring it all out in the quiet aftermath of what love and life had left behind.

* * *

Days later

“That boy so damn loud,” Stephanie fussed, moving around the kitchen, stirring the pot with one hand while her phone was tucked under her chin.

When Lunar called her, she was already halfway to Jade City to see Qamar’s other daughter, Belinay. With school starting in the next few days, she wanted to spend some time with her grandbaby and take her to do a little shopping before she and Griff disappeared to the family’s private island for their post-summer reset. But soon as she heard the crack in Lunar’s voice— just that subtle shift, that pain he tried to bury under deep sighs and short sentences— she turned her damn car around and headed straight to the house.

Now, the house was quiet except for Kamari making car sounds while crawling and trying to walk in mismatched socks and half-frizzy braids. Belinay had her phone out, recording him as he did his little two-step and drop over and over, grinning like he owned the world.

“He’s so cute,” she said, smoothing a hand over his wild curls. “But who did these mis-matched braids? It look like two different people gave up halfway through.”

Stephanie laughed from the stove. “Girl, don’t let Little Lunar hear you talkin’ about his boy’s hair. His little ass don’t let nobody comb it but Lunar. Like it’s a sacred act or something.”

Belinay smiled, still watching Kamari, who was now wobbling toward the living room.

Smack .

Kamari slapped his mama right in the face, and Belinay doubled over laughing.

Ahvi groaned, eyes fluttering open. Her head throbbed like she’d been crying in her sleep again. “Mari…” she mumbled. “Why you so damn rough?”

Kamari stared at her like she was interrupting his day.

She sat up, rubbing her face, looking around the room like she forgot where she was. Her chest felt heavy -too full, like grief and hope were battling for room.

Stephanie came in from the kitchen with a bowl in hand. “You eat today?”

Ahvi shook her head slowly. “Not really hungry.”

She’d been replaying everything on a constant loop, willing herself to just give Lunar the chance he truly deserved. She’d spent her nights talking to God or Ish, just asking how she reprogrammed herself to not be so afraid of allowing Lunar to take the reins. There was a willful battle of heart and mind going on inside of her. So, no she didn’t have an appetite.

“That ain’t what I asked.” Stephanie placed the bowl on the coffee table and sat down across from her.

Ahvi sighed, her eyes already glassy. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Miss Stephanie. I feel like I keep trying to be something for everybody. The right woman for Lunar, a good mama to Kamari - he deserves everything, but… I don’t even know what I’m giving him sometimes.”

Stephanie watched her closely, letting her unravel without judgment. Then she leaned back with that kind of ease only a woman who’d seen some shit could carry.

“You know,” she started, “I used to be real hard on myself about my kids - still am some days. I messed up more than I like to admit. That’s probably why I don’t come down too heavy on Sheena. Don’t mean I agree with everything she did—but I get it. Sometimes life don’t give us the tools to love in the ways we need to and sometimes we pass all that or those bad coping skills down to our kids.”

Ahvi didn’t say anything, just looked at her like she was listening with her whole body.

Stephanie continued, “Sometimes mamas with sons…they be hardest on the girlfriends. Not ’cause they don’t like ‘em, but because they did such a good job raising their boys, they expect them to choose a woman that reflects that same strength…that same love. And when he does? When he picks a girl that does remind her of herself…it’s like she don’t know how to handle it.”

Stephanie knew all the issues rolling around Ahvi’s head. Everyone was in there yelling—Ish, Sheena, hell even Tiny—and they wasn’t allowing her to just think or feel. Staphanie knew Ahvi felt it was safer for her to just walk away from Lunar, especially when it seemed like everything was stacked against them. Most of it her own doing but still, everything in her head played a part in her rash decision making.

“Tiny is his Mama and I don’t care if she likes me or not but I know if I want Lunar, I gotta want Tiny too. I don’t understand what her issue is with me meanwhile she loves Kamari… it’s just so much that I let linger inside of me instead of address shit head on like I know how to do. Lunar came into my life and shook shit up, Miss Stephanie… I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

Ahvi didn’t care what people thought of her or how they felt, but she’d be lying if Stephanie bringing up Tiny didn’t hit a nerve. Tiny was in her head… a part of her decision making right along with Ish, Sheena, and Big Lunar. But Kamari was the most important voice in all of it and she still didn’t know if leaving Lunar was for the best or if she was just scared. “I didn’t do anything to her though. What’s her issue with me?”

Stephanie leaned forward. “’Cause now she’s lookin’ in the mirror, and no matter how high she holds her head or how proud she stands, there’s a part of her that still don’t feel worthy of the kind of love her son gives so freely. Crazy, right?”

Ahvi nodded and swallowed hard. Her throat burned.

“But don’t stress about Tiny. If she really loves her son the way she say she do…” Stephanie reached over and squeezed her hand, “she’ll learn to love you too. And don’t be so hard on your people either. They did the best they could with the tools they had.”

Nodding, Ahvi broke then, her tears slipped down, like she’d been holding her breath too long…like she’d been waiting for someone to tell her it would all be okay. Suddenly she knew she would be okay too.

“You strong, Ahvi,” Stephanie whispered, “stronger than most. You let love in even after all the places you’ve been. That ain’t small. That’s legacy—regardless of how your parents did it, you feel in your heart that it was all in love. That’s what they gave you for you to take and return it tenfold. Now it’s time to create a legacy of love for your own family.” She hugged Ahvi, allowing her to bury her face into her and just cry.

A knock interrupted the moment followed by another.

Before Ahvi could wipe her face or find the energy to stand straight, the front door was pushed open.

“I told y’all not to knock like y’all don’t pay bills in this city,” Luna’s voice came first, warm and joking. “This ain’t no stranger’s house.”

Ahvi straightened, her eyes red but unashamed. Kamari looked up from the floor and grinned, wobbling before falling then crawling toward the door like he already knew who it was.

Tiny walked in first, holding a bag of groceries and wearing that same guilty smile she used to wear back when she got caught sneaking out the house as a teenager. Aku followed behind her, with Solar not far behind—her lips painted and her energy loud, filling the room with high energy. There was no doubt where Aku got her all-consuming personality from.

“Don’t mind us.” Solar waved her hand in the air, tossing her bag on the counter. “Lunar sent us. He told us to come make sure his girl was straight and to braid the boy’s hair before he starts looking like a little street prophet.”

Ahvi smiled, thinking about Lunar still thinking about her even though he didn’t answer when she blew him up.

“I got the kitchen,” Aku said quietly, already moving to unpack the groceries. “Luna said you been forgetting to eat. I got greens and smoked turkey, and I made sweet potato bread last night. You like that, right?”

“Um, Aku…” Luna laid her gentle hand on her niece’s back. “Baby, you can’t cook.”

Everyone cracked up.

Aku rolled her eyes. “Auntie, please…I’m trying to be there for my girl.”

“Don’t talk about my baby like that, ain’t her fault she spoiled,” Solar smiled, looking at her first baby. The two of them grew up together and she admired everything about Aku’s life. Her and French did good with her. She was spoiled but knew how to get her own bag as a celebrity stylist. Her baby was just looking for love in all the wrong places.

Ahvi blinked, overwhelmed. “Y’all didn’t have to?—”

“We did,” Tiny said, stepping closer, her tone softer than usual. “Not ‘cause he told us to, but because we want to.”

Ahvi stared at her, still unsure.

Tiny sighed and rubbed her hands together like she was nervous. “I ain’t always been the easiest around you. I know that. But it wasn’t about you, it was about how much I love my boy, and how scared I been of him getting hurt. But… I see now, you not here to break him.”

Break.

That word almost made Ahvi fall to her knees again. She wanted to be broken so bad in that moment. She wanted Lunar to piece her back together like he’d promised and one thing Ahvi learned was, her Lunar didn’t break promises.

“I think I almost broke him and for that I’m sorry,” Ahvi whispered, her wet eyes pleading with Tiny to be okay with that.

“What you gon’ do about it, Ahvi?” Luna’s sweet voice pulled Ahvi’s eyes to her. “How you gon’ make this right, because I’m looking into the face of a girl finally ready to run headfirst into the reams of fire.”

Solar laughed, “Mmhmm, I know that look.”

“I don’t,” Aku crossed her arms.

Waving her off, Solar continued. “I know that look because I had it in my eyes too. Shit, probably still do - the way I love my man.” She smacked her lips like she could taste French.

“Ma!” Aku balled up her face. “Ahvi, I might not know that feeling but I know what it feels like to crave love. So for that, I have to tell you to go get my cousin and love on him so good he don’t remember his life before he met you. Lunar deserves that. He’s been round here chasing pieces of his daddy while finding time to still love the man that stepped up and raised him. He never knew he was our Lunar all along. Me, Pimp, Bu, Noodle, and now you and Kamari. He poured everything into us without hesitation and while I never knew my uncle, if he made my mama and them feel like this,” she wiped tears from her face, “then I need you to give Little Lunar every fuckin’ piece of yourself.”

“Dada!” Kamari clapped with perfect timing, shocking Ahvi—revealing the little secret he shared with Lunar—his daddy.

Ahvi laughed through her tears, wiping her face with her sleeve before scooping her baby in her arms. “You want your daddy?”

Kamari kissed her face like duh.

Everyone fell out again with tears in their eyes from Aku’s speech and Kamari telling them to get him to his dreamer.

Luna walked over and pulled her into a hug after she cleared her face. Her twin was still a sore subject for her. “We here - period. You and Kamari? Y’all family, now. Whatever you and Little Lunar got going on romantically, don’t change this.” she tapped her chest “this don’t change.”

“Thank y’all,” Ahvi sighed “I didn’t know how much I needed y’all till just now.”

Tiny grinned. “Girl, you stuck with us. Might as well get used to it.”

For the first time in days, Ahvi smiled without flinching. This was what it felt like to be loved unconditionally…fully…loudly…without question.

And even though the road ahead still had bends and shadows, she knew one thing for sure, she wasn’t walking it alone. Lunar made sure of that.

“Now, you got my baby out here trickin’ because he sent me with a card to his bank talking about it’s for his baby. Chile, this for the pretty girl that got a hold on his heart… got my baby standing in the sun with no sunscreen. And where Butta at? Don’t think I don’t know about that.” She rested her hand son her hips. “I agree with her too. Monday tripping.”

Ahvi smiled before wrapping her arms around Tiny and hugging her. It felt so good and so right. Now, she needed to figure out a way to get her man back home.