two

The smell of burnt pancakes clung to the air, stubborn and sweet.

Ahvi stood at the counter in an oversized tee with a hole in the shoulder, balancing Kamari on one hip while trying to scrape the half-browned mess out of the pan with the other. Her curls were pulled into a lazy bun that had given up around 9am, and her left slipper was missing. It was probably somewhere under the play pen.

Kamari kicked his little feet, babbling loud with drool glistening on his chin.

“Oh, now you got jokes?” she muttered, as he smiled away like he knew what was going on.

He cooed in response, hands reaching for her face because he knew he was her favorite person on earth.

She kissed his cheek, then placed him gently into the bouncer chair on the floor. He wiggled and kicked at the dangling toy above him, making that soft hiccup-laugh noise of his that always made her heart melt.

“Okay, Mari. It’s your half-birthday,” she said, wiping her hands on a dish rag. “Six whole months of sunshine, late-night bottles and making me cry when you smile too hard.”

She pulled a tiny, store-bought cupcake – vanilla with blue sprinkles- from the fridge. It was one of three she’d scooped on clearance from the gas station down the block.

It was dumb, probably. He wouldn’t remember this…wouldn’t care.

But she needed something to celebrate…something to feel like joy.

She stuck a candle in the center, lit it with a flick of her lighter, and sat down on the floor beside him.

“Happy six months, Kamari,” she whispered. “You the best thing I ever did.”

He gurgled and grinned, kicking again.

Her phone buzzed on the counter, but she ignored it. For once, she wanted to enjoy a moment of peace. Inside this little moment that was hers and his - nobody else’s.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

She stiffened.

The knock sounded off again-- The kind of knock that came with news. Not a visitor or a friend because she didn’t have those unless it was her little sister or her baby daddy.

She stood, making her way over to the door. Her heart thumped the closer she got to it, like her intuition was telling her, her already fucked up life was about to get worse.

Mr. Ledger, the landlord stood therein his wrinkled khakis and crooked reading glasses, holding a manila envelope.

“Afternoon,” he said, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else.

“What’s going on?” Ahvi asked, heartbeat quickening.

“I just came to give you this.” He handed over the envelope. “This is your official notice. I sold the house.”

Ahvi blinked. “You… what ?”

“New owners close in six weeks. They don’t want tenants. You’ve got forty-five days to move out.” He also wanted to remind her that rent had been late and short and was behind, but there was no need to add insult to injury.

Her mouth went dry. “Mr. Ledger, come on…I got a baby.”

“I know,” he said, not unkind, just tired. “But it’s outta my hands now. The market’s hot, and the buyers made a cash offer. I couldn’t say no.”

She stared at him, the weight of it hitting her all at once. Rent had been a stretch already. Moving? Deposits? First and last? With what ?

“I’m not tryna be difficult, Ms. Ahvi. Your daddy was a good tenant and I know you’ve been trying to make rent on time, but this is just business.”

She folded the envelope against her chest and gave a tight nod. “Got it.”

He hesitated. “You got people you can call?”

“No,” she said flatly. She wasn’t lying even with a mama on the other side of town, she knew Sheena ain’t have nothing to give her besides a roof for a little while.

“…Well, I hope you figure it out.” And then he turned and walked off like he hadn’t just shattered the one stable thing she had left.

Ahvi shut the door slowly, back pressed to it as she stared at the little cupcake still flickering on the floor.

The candle had burned down to a stub.

Kamari squealed from his chair, clapping his hands like everything was fine.

Her throat tightened and her eyes stung. But she wouldn’t cry…not in front of him, and not today.

She walked back over, blew out the candle, and picked him up with shaking arms.

“It’s okay,” she whispered into his hair. “We gon’ be alright.”

But her voice cracked, just a little.

And Kamari, like he understood more than he should, buried his face into her shoulder.

* * *

Ahvi rolled her eyes watching Dro take his time walking over to her car like she wasn’t on a time crunch. Time was money and she couldn’t waste either. The sun hit his bare yellow skin, making the tattoos on his shirtless body glisten.

Summer was in full swing in Jade City. The neighborhood was bustling with children happy to be out of school and dope boys ‘nickel and dime’ hustling for a fresh outfit to go out in.

Rolling her window down, she huffed. “Dro, come on, it’s hot as hell out here.”

Dro smiled, showing off his white teeth. “You need to get some air in this hoe,” he laughed, leaning down into the car. “What’s up, baby mama?’

“Fuck all that.” Ahvi waved him off. “You got the money so I can get him some pampers?”

As soon as he kissed his teeth, she knew he was about to be on some bullshit.

“Look…”

“I don’t wanna hear your excuses, Dro. I asked you was you gon’ be able to do it and you told me ‘yes’. So, here I am to collect.”

“You can’t collect something I ain’t got, Ahvi.”

“The fuck you out here all day and night for then? I ain’t make Kamari by myself yet I’m the only one providing for him. How that shit sound?” Ahvi was at her wits end when it came to Dro. Looking in his face, she didn’t see the boy with dreams staring back at her anymore. All she saw was a man too afraid to grow up and handle his responsibilities like the man he claimed he was.

Kamari cooed in the backseat, just having woke up from his nap. Ahvi glanced at him before looking back at her baby daddy with disgust in her eyes.

“You be hard on a nigga, man,” Dro brushed his fingers through his thick hair. He was in desperate need of a haircut.

But that’s what the block did to young men like him. He spent so much time chasing a few dollars that there was hardly ever time for self-care, at least until the weekend came. Then no matter what else was goin’ on, he’d jump fresh to hit the club with his boys.

His long legs carried him to the passenger side of her car and he picked his son up.

Ahvi jumped out of the car like it was on fire. “Don’t you dare pick my baby up, Dro!” She rounded the car following behind him.

“Why?” he laughed, pulling the back door open. “It’s hot as hell back here.”

“Yea, ‘cause you had us out here waiting for your slow ass,” she huffed. “I’m deadass, don’t touch him if you ain’t got no money for his pampers.”

He glared down at her. Ahvi was beautiful with chocolate skin that held no imperfections. Her hair was pulled back, showing off her baby face and those cute rolls around her neck. Her tight denim shorts showed off her meaty thighs that seemed to go on for miles. She was a little insecure about the small pudge in her stomach but Dro thought she was perfect.

So much so that he reached down and pinched her thighs.

“Stop!” her eyes turned to slits.

Again, Dro wasn’t trying to hear nothing she had to say. “So because I can’t give you no money, I don’t deserve to see my son? That’s what you telling me?”

“Exactly!” Ahvi rolled her neck. “Now, give me some money ’cause I don’t have it.”

Dro coddled Kamari into his chest. “What’s up, lil’ man?”

Kamari blew spit bubbles looking just like his mama, making them both pause to smile at their baby. He was the cutest baby they’d laid eyes on—or maybe their opinion was biased.

“You ain’t got it? Or you ain’t got enough for yourself this weekend to spare some for your son?” Ahvi wasn’t letting up. She’d used up some of her barely there gas just to ride to the hood to press Dro for the money he told her he would give. All of that coupled together, pissed her off.

He placed wild kisses on Kamari’s chubby cheeks making him squeal. “Ain’t you been selling plates?”

“No because I ain’t had no food to sell. Tha last of my stamps was used for food for me to eat, nigga. But that’s irrelevant because you ain’t gave me nothing for him in a long time and I need you to start stepping up, Andrew.”

“She calling me by my government, son…she serious,” he continued to play with Kamari like smoke wasn’t coming from Ahvi ears.

“Let me get something until tomorrow.” Bean, a local drug addict walked up like she belonged.

Ahvi stood in front of Bean. “Don’t you see us talking? Move around, Bean.”

“Girl, don’t get mad at me ‘cause you let a nigga run up in you that was all dick and no money,” Bean’s frail body shook, antsy.

“Girl, fuck you!”

Dro chuckled. “Aye, chill out… Bean, you got some pampers at your house?”

“Why would I if I ain’t got no kids, nigga?” Bean shifted her weight from leg to leg.

“Don’t your daughter got all them kids over there? Let me get a pack of pampers and I’ll give you a lil’ something.”

“Boy, twenty dollars’ worth,” Bean suggested, speed walking to her house to steal from her daughter who was also barely making it.

“You really ain’t shit, Dro.” Ahvi rolled her eyes as she reached out for her son who only smiled bigger when he laid eyes on his mama.

Bean came back with a small pack of diapers. Surprisingly they were the correct size. Ahvi snatched them from Dro before grabbing her son, buckling him up and pulling off so the wind could cool the inside of her car since her air conditioner was broken.

She felt bad knowing she took something from another woman who probably needed it just as bad as she did, but that was her reality. Whenever she couldn’t come up with the money, she’d boost it from the store with no shame. It was times like this when she missed her daddy the most.

* * *

Pulling up to her house, she sighed. The small two bedroom home didn’t feel like home anymore and the red eviction sign on the door was confirmation that it wasn’t going to be her home for much longer anyway.

Ahvi could finally rest her nerves about one thing at least, knowing her son would have diapers to last him awhile. Lord knew she couldn’t process cleaning out the house, knowing her baby wasn’t good. Kamari was her top priority. She didn’t even roll the windows up before she got out the car knowing it was better to let natural air flow through for the next time she needed to get back in it. With no a/c, it was better to not walk into a hot box with no way to cool it down. Their neighborhood wasn’t the safest but no one wanted to steal her old ass Nissan Altima.

She grabbed the diapers before hoisting her baby on her hip.

With each step she took, her feet felt heavier. Her daddy had been kinda old, so she knew the day would come when he was no longer waiting at the door to nag her about her decision to have a baby and forego culinary school. But her heart hadn’t caught up to her brain yet. A few tears rolled down her face. Ish, her daddy was the best thing in her life besides her son. Ahvi didn’t know how she would navigate life without him. He had always been her compass—guiding her to the next phase in her life. Now, she was all alone.

Her mama, Sheena wasn’t reliable since she was still popping out babies herself despite having a house full of kids already. Ahvi was her oldest daughter but her second child out of five. Let Sheena tell it, she should’ve had more kids by Ish since he seemed to be the only baby daddy worth a damn. So much so, that Sheena sent her to live with him not long after she turned five.

At the time, Ahvi didn’t understand but now, she realized it was the best thing that could’ve happened to her.

Ahvi sighed at the red letter on her door before unlocking it and pushing it open. As she stepped over the threshold, she immediately became overwhelmed with having to go through all her daddy’s junk, packing up whatever she wanted to keep.

After she placed Kamari into his playpen, she sat on the floor to sort through one of the many boxes she’d found in Ish’s closet. One thing she realized was her daddy was a hoarder. Snickering to herself, she pulled out different knick knacks before she found an old smart phone. Like a dummy, she tried to power it on, knowing damn well any juice it had, probably been gone since the phone looked to be at least twenty years old.

“I know daddy gotta have an old charger around here somewhere,” she said out loud, her eyes doing a sweep of the junk spread over the floor.

A rhythmic knock at the front door made her heart fly from her chest, again. Kamari squealed at the same time as if he found some humor in his mama’s disheveled state.

“Girl, open the door!” Butta, her little sister fussed from the other side of the door. “It’s hot as hell out here,” she added before knocking again, knowing it was going to annoy her big sister.

Mumbling under her breath, Ahvi lifted herself off the floor and padded to the door. “Why are you like this?” she glared up at her lengthy little sister as she opened the door.

Butta was tall and loved the game of basketball. You’d hardly ever catch her in anything besides a pair of ball shorts, tank top, and slides whenever she didn’t have on sneakers.

Butta flung her hand in the air, brushing past Ahvi. “It’s hot as hell out there and you wanna take your time opening the door.” She reached into the playpen to grab her nephew up. “I know your mama gets on your nerves like she does mine,” she babbled in baby talk to him, kissing over his face.

“Don’t come in here getting him riled up.” Ahvi sat back on the floor, crossing her legs. “How you get here – Ma drop you?” Butta and Ahvi shared the same mama, even though Ahvi would argue Butta got the better version of Sheena. With Butta being the oldest in the house, Sheena doted on her a little more and didn’t pile her down with having to see about their two younger siblings— seven-year-old Carter and 4-year-old Piper.

Butta cut her eyes with pursed lips. “Now you know your mama ain’t dropping nobody off nowhere…my lil’ boo brought me,” she said wagging her tongue.

“You know I don’t like a bunch of people knowing where I stay.”

“Girl, you ain’t ‘bout to be staying here long.”

“Bitch!” Ahvi threw something at her sister as they laughed out loud.

Cradling Kamari’s head, Butta fussed, “What if you would’ve hit my baby, hoe?”

“But I didn’t.”

“You could’ve,” Butta countered, placing him back into his playpen.

Butta dropped onto the floor beside Ahvi, stretching her long legs out as she scanned the mess her sister had made, digging through her daddy’s old boxes. “What you looking for?”

“A charger for this old ass phone,” Ahvi muttered, flipping through a pile of tangled cords before groaning in frustration. “I know he gotta have one somewhere.”

Holding her hand out, Butta asked to see the phone. She examined it like she actually knew what she was looking at but the phone seemed to be older than her since she was only seventeen. “The fuck kinda phone is this?”

“Some kinda Apple phone… I don’t know which number but I know daddy gotta have a charger somewhere in all this shit. Like who needs an old ass class reunion t-shirt?” Ahvi’s nose scrunched as she held up the old class of 1986 shirt.

“You know Ish was always nostalgic and weird.” Butta hunched her shoulders.

“Not too much on my daddy, cause where yours?”

“Probably where the rest of Sheena’s baby daddies at… running from their kids,” she snickered. The pain of being fatherless did nothing to Butta anymore. She didn’t have a million questions for her mama because she understood that men could walk out on their children, and no one batted an eyelash, especially if the mama wasn’t shit neither.

Butta’s eyes landed on an old power strip in the corner, half-buried under some random junk. She crawled over and yanked it out, untangling a charger that looked like it might fit. “Try this one.”

Ahvi snatched it up and pushed the block into the wall socket before plugging it into the ancient phone, holding her breath as the screen flickered before the Apple logo appeared. She glanced at her sister, both of them waiting in anticipation. “Damn, no passcode?”

“Ish ain’t never believed in all that,” Butta said, shrugging.

With a deep breath, Ahvi tapped into the phone, fingers moving to the videos first, assuming it’d be something from their father. Maybe an old recording…a message… something sentimental. Instead, the thumbnails that popped up made her pause. It wasn’t her daddy at all.

The first video started playing grainy footage of kids running through a yard, their laughter echoing through the tiny speaker. A boy, maybe sixteen to seventeen, was coaching another boy while he caught a ball.

“Nigga, you watching with your eyes like you ain’t got the skill to throw that shit with your eyes closed. How you gon’ get out The Jig, throwing like that?”

“What the hell…” Ahvi mumbled, confusion knitting her brows.

Butta leaned in closer, eyes squinting before she gasped, slapping Ahvi’s arm. “Oh shit! Do you know who this is?”

Ahvi gave her a look. “Uh, no! Clearly…”

Butta smacked her lips. “That’s Nar’s family! That’s Big Lunar.” She pressed a hand to her chest like she’d just seen a ghost. “Girl, I saw this man,” she pointed at Javen, “on TV a few months ago during his football retirement parade. They did a whole segment on Big Lunar and how he was their everything. That man is the reason they all successful now.”

Ahvi blinked, looking back at the video playing on the screen. The little boy that was laughing and running around…was Javen Cooper? And this phone had old home videos of them? Her mind went into a tizzy.

“Wait, so this…” she trailed off, realization hitting her like a truck.

“That phone is probably worth something,” Butta whispered, as if speaking it too loud would make it disappear.

Ahvi exhaled, stomach twisting. Money was already tight…too tight. She was about to be evicted, Kamari needed a stable place to stay, and she had nothing lined up. If this phone had any real value to Nar, maybe he’d be willing to pay for it.

Butta must’ve read her mind because she nudged her shoulder. “You better hit that boy up.”

“You think he’d even see my message?”

“It’s worth a shot, Ahvi.”

After a moment of hesitation, she pulled out her own phone, went straight to Instagram, and searched for LLNar . His verified profile popped up immediately.

She clicked Message .

Ahvi: Hey, I don’t know if you’ll see this, but I found something I think might belong to you. Let me know if you wanna talk.

She stared at the message for a long second before hitting send, her heart thudding in her chest, hoping God was finally giving her some relief.