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sixteen

Kamari clapped his hands as the wind from the sunroof of Lunar’s Range whipped his wild hair in his eyes. He had a fit when Ahvi tried to comb it and by the time Lunar pulled himself out the studio, she was ready to go and didn’t have time for him to do it lately. He had to be sitting on Lunar’s lap with his hands in his head—no one else’s.

As she pulled up to a red light, she looked over at Lunar who looked so cool sitting with his legs stretched as far as the truck’s passenger’s seat allowed. They went back and forth for a few minutes when she suggested she drive. She had to remind him of his “just ask” mantra, making him give in.

“Watch the road Ahvi,” he smirked, pulling his phone out and clicking around before Noodle’s voice blasted through the speakers.

She giggled, pushing her foot on the gas. Jade City looked different when driving a luxury car…felt different too.

She tapped the steering wheel, listening to a song Noodle sent Lunar to get his opinion on. It sounded like something she’d heard before, even the lyrics were the same. Forever young—Noodle’s version was just as powerful.

“You wouldn’t even think she could sing like that when you look at her,” Ahvi mentioned.

“I know right? That shit so pure,” Lunar nodded, his lips moving like he was rapping, but no sounds came out.

“This a song for you?” Ahvi glanced over at him.

He nodded.

His album was shaping out beautifully. Tiny and Mav’s suggestion for him to duck off to Jade City was the best advice they’d ever given him. A few months locked in, with no outside noise. It was safe to say, he was creating his best music both sonically and flow-wise. Not only did his music sound good, but it felt good and he couldn’t wait for the world to hear it.

Pimp was ahead of it all, already setting up interviews to create a buzz.

After riding through the city for a few minutes, they pulled up into her Mama’s neighborhood. Kids played on the sidewalks, while dope boys posted up on the corners. It was a vast difference form the side of town she’d been holed up in. Jade City was a smorgasbord of upper, middle, and lower class. Ahvi believed it was the best city in the state and the east side was the best side.

The dark tint on the expensive ride stuck out like a sore thumb drawing attention from everyone. The closer she got to Sheena’s house she could see her Mama and her friends on the porch, probably listening to music and talking shit.

Lunar sat up, always on high alert though he felt he was good in any neighborhood. That was the shit Mav made sure to instill in him. It was what kept his music relatable and the industry trying to figure out if he was just a rich kid that pretended to know shooters or if he’d really been around them.

His answer - fuck yea, he knew killers.

When she pulled up against the curb. Sheena stood up, squinted her eyes and put her hands on her wide hips. Her t-shirt and worn leggings looked like they’d seen better days but Sheena wasn’t one to get rid of shit. Maybe that was once a common thing between her and Ish.

Sheena put her hand over her eyes to shield the sun and get a good look at who was pulling up to her house.

Ahvi watched her, snickering before she got out. “You so nosy,” she laughed, rounding the car knowing Lunar would bring Kamari.

“Girl, thought I was ‘bout to have to up the blickey on you,” Sheena twisted her finger to mimic a gun, making everyone on the porch laugh.

Lunar got out the car, throwing his hand up to greet everyone, before getting Kamari - who was talking up a storm.

Seeing Lunar, Sheena smoothed her clothes down. “Oh hey, son-in-law.”

Ahvi choked. “Son-in-law? Since the fuck when?” Walking onto the porch she spoke to everyone. “You just be showing out.”

Sheena swatted her away. “When that boy came up in here with Kamari after you got locked up, I knew right then and there he was my son-in-law.”

“I barely knew him,” she snapped. The abandonment she felt back then reared its ugly head.

Sheena had always been selfish, only really looking out for herself but Ahvi thought her Mama would take care of her son because Ahvi needed her to. It wasn’t like Ahvi had left him to run the streets. She was locked up with no family except her mom to help. It only made sense that Sheena get her only grandbaby.

“What’s up?” Lunar nodded to everyone on the porch.

“Look at that boy…y’all dressed just alike,” One of Sheena’s neighborhood buddies commented as if everyone else didn’t have eyes to see it.

Kamari and Lunar both had on denim shorts, clean white shirts, and designer shoes. Lunar had a few of his chains on while Kamari only had one that Ahvi argued with him about. She didn’t think her son needed something so expensive but she lost that argument.

Sheena tussled Kamari’s hair. “He needs something done to his head.”

“He won’t let his mama comb it.”

“I saw a picture Butta sent me and he had some braids. Who did that?” Sheena asked, trying to play with Kamari who paid her dust.

Ahvi kissed her teeth making Lunar laugh. “Me.”

“You do hair?” Sheena asked, confused.

“Hell no.” Ahvi rolled her eyes. “My baby parts be crooked and the braids be all sizes.”

“My boy be fresh. Why you always hating, Ahvi?”

Her body shivered when he said her name. Her name on Lunar’s lips had the ability to make her do just about anything. He pulled her to him, whispering in her ear, making her blush.

“I see you, girl,” the friend chimed in again.

Sheena smirked. “Dro been over here looking for you.”

Ahvi pulled away from Lunar, looking down the street like saying his name would make him pop up. She didn’t know how she felt about him skipping town with some girl like they didn’t have a son to see ‘bout. No, he didn’t know she was going to get locked up, but whether or not she was free or not, he still should’ve prioritized being around for his son.

Lunar stepped up. “Oh yea?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Give him my number…I believe men should be in their kids’ lives.”

“What?!” Ahvi raised her voice.

He glared at her - his eyes telling her to stand down… reminding her that she was half broken so she needed to shut up and listen to him.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Ahvi was ready to go. Her little visit to her Mama was done—she was already over it.

Sheena whistled. “I knew you had that shit in you.”

“What?” Ahvi scoffed, rolling her eyes.

Sheena tapped her nose. “The ability to let a real man lead.” Her eyes roamed to Lunar. “I’ll give him your number. Now, come on and let me see what you know how to do on that spades table.”

* * *

“Girl, get your bad ass son!” Butta fussed, lunging forward to snatch her lip gloss from Kamari’s little hands. She stared incredulously at the pink glittery mess now splattered across her floor, confusion knitted tightly across her brows as she inspected the empty tube. “How in the hell did he even open this? Look at this mess!”

Ahvi covered her mouth, laughter bubbling up before she could stop it. She tried to look apologetic, but Kamari’s eyes were bright with delight at his newfound discovery, and she just couldn’t find it in her heart to fuss at him. Instead, she shook her head, kneeling to scoop him up gently.

“But don’t call him bad…” Ahvi softly warned, holding Kamari against her chest, fingers lovingly tangled in his curly hair. “Lunar don’t really like that.”

Butta rolled her eyes dramatically, grabbing a towel. “Girl, it’s true though. Kamari little ass stay getting into stuff. It’s like mess follows him everywhere he goes.”

Ahvi let out a gentle sigh, lowering herself to the floor with Kamari. She felt the weight of Butta’s words more than she wanted to admit, but instead of irritation, a wave of tenderness flooded her chest. She knew Kamari wasn’t bad, just curious. He was exploring his world the way babies should, with wide-eyed innocence and messy fingers that reached for everything within reach.

“He’s just exploring…” Ahvi murmured, brushing her thumb softly over his cheek.

The warm, carefree smile on his face made something in her chest squeeze tightly, a bittersweet reminder of how fast he was growing up…how fleeting these moments were. It made her fiercely protective, wanting to shield him from any harshness or judgment, even when it came from someone she loved as deeply as her sister.

She glanced up, giving Ahvi a pointed look. “Well, take his little exploring ass home so he can get into shit over there.”

Home.

Ahvi’s breath caught, her laughter fading softly into silence.

The word lingered heavy and unfamiliar on her tongue, its shape strange, yet comforting. She repeated it silently to herself, tasting its edges, its hidden meanings. Home had always been a moving target for Ahvi—something she’d spent years chasing, longing for stability she could never quite grasp. Home had been a battle she fought alone since Ish’s passing, every step forward costing blood, sweat, and too many tears to count.

But now, when she thought of home, she saw Lunar’s eyes looking at her from across a dinner table. She felt his warmth wrapped around her in the mornings, his laughter echoing down the hallway. Home wasn’t just the immaculate house with its high ceilings, soft linens, and marble counters. It was how she’d started knowing exactly which drawer he kept the spoons in, the way she naturally reached for his favorite shot glass, the fact she knew how many steps it took from Kamari’s fake room that he wouldn’t sleep in to theirs late at night.

Home was becoming him —becoming them .

But there was still an ache, a quiet tugging at the edges of her heart.

Ahvi missed the fierce independence of having her own space. Missed knowing that everything within her four walls belonged solely to her. It had been small, cluttered, chaotic, but it had been hers. She missed waking up in the middle of the night and knowing exactly who she was without anyone else’s reflection.

That old version of herself had scars, but those scars were hard-earned, proof that she’d survived alone.

It scared her, how quickly she’d grown comfortable letting someone else take the reigns, letting Lunar shoulder burdens she’d grown used to carrying alone. Sometimes she wondered if she’d lost a piece of herself along the way, or if this was just the calm before life reminded her not to trust it.

Kamari giggled again, breaking her thoughts. Ahvi gently squeezed him tighter, placing a kiss against his forehead. In the quiet moments like this one, she felt so grateful. grateful that Kamari got to grow up in a home where love wasn’t a question, where safety wasn’t something she had to fight for every day.

She glanced up, noticing Butta studying her carefully, concern creasing her usually playful features.

“You good, Ahvi?” Butta asked softly. “You got real quiet all of a sudden.”

Ahvi swallowed, meeting Butta’s gaze before looking back down at Kamari yanking at his chain.

“I’m okay,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “Just thinking… about how weird it feels calling Lunar’s place home.”

Butta paused, sitting back on her heels, her eyes warm with understanding. “Why it feel weird?”

Ahvi shook her head slowly, her voice thickening slightly. “Because…I didn’t earn it. It just appeared, and now suddenly it’s mine – it’s ours. It’s like I blinked and lost control. Like I went from surviving every day to having this easy life that I’m afraid I don’t deserve.”

Butta’s expression softened. “Maybe it’s time to stop fighting and let yourself have good things. You’ve been fighting long enough.”

Ahvi let those words sink in slowly, her heartbeat quieting for the first time in months. “Maybe you’re right,” she admitted gently, “but what if I lose it again?”

Butta moved closer, placing her hand on Ahvi’s shoulder. “Then you fight like hell. like you always do. But until then, let yourself be happy…let yourself feel safe…let yourself be home.”

Ahvi nodded slowly, eyes burning softly with unshed tears. She leaned her head against Butta’s shoulder, finally letting herself feel the warmth of that simple, complicated word.

Home.

For once, she allowed herself to believe it was possible, to believe she might actually deserve it.

They sat in silence just watching Kamari find something else to get into. Then they heard yelling.

“Mama’s card games always end in a fight,” Butta laughed.

Ahvi sat up. “That sounds like Dro.”

“Dro?”

“And Lunar.” Ahvi jumped up, grabbing Kamari as she rushed through the small house and through the front door.

Dro was only a few feet away from Lunar. “Nigga, you ain’t shit to me… Ahvi might be blinded by your money but I’m a man, nigga.”

“A man?” Lunar scoffed. “Nigga don’t make me laugh…a man takes care of his family.”

“Ahvi ain’t my bitch.” It was Dro’s turn to laugh. “That what this shit about?”

“Dro, gon’ on with all that,” Sheena fussed.

Ahvi rushed down the worn steps. “Dro, what are you doing?”

“Coming to see my fuckin’ son… the fuck it look like? But your nigga act like he need to talk to me…fuck he need to talk to me about when I put that baby on you?”

Dro was shirtless like always. His skin shined with sweat, probably from hugging the block all day in the sun. His jeans looked worn and hung slightly off his waist. His hair needed some maintenance but even still, he was cute. Not cute in a way that she’d ever want him back, but cute in the way that if Kamari grew up to look like him, he’d get the girls.

“Dro—”

Lunar cut her off with one word, “Ahvi.”

Her mouth snapped shut.

Dro laughed again. “Damn, how you do that? How you get my baby mama to list?—”

Lunar threw a blow that knocked Dro off his feet. He landed on his back.

“Your mouth, my boy…all that should be coming out of it is - thank you.” Lunar stood over him as others started to crowd around. “You should be thanking me for picking up your slack and not thinking less of you. You should be thanking me for holding your family down which if you a man like you say, you should’ve been doing it.”

“The fuck, nigga? She ain’t my bitch so why would I be holding her down?” Dro still didn’t get it.

Lunar was taught by men. Men that would go to the ends of the earth to make sure their family was good even if the relationship didn’t work out.

“I know she ain’t yours cause she mine. And don’t worry, I won’t keep your son from you ‘cause I ain’t threatened by your presence like you think, nigga.” Lunar stood straight. “Ahvi let this nigga see our son so we can go. And when you want to see him again, get my number from Sheena.”