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seven

Ahvi sat on the cold metal bench, her elbows digging into her knees, hands laced together so tight her knuckles turned white. She wasn’t new to this, but it felt different this time.

She had been booked before - processed, tossed into holding like she was nothing. But this time, her heart wasn’t just beating for herself, it was beating for Kamari. The thought of him out there without her, made her stomach twist in a way she wasn’t prepared for.

This was the shit Ish warned her about, yet this time he wasn’t there to bail her out and promise the judge she wouldn’t do it again. This time, she was in the world all alone with no one to save her. And that was okay, she didn’t need saving—she just needed someone to be there for her son. If Dro cared and was around, maybe she wouldn’t be in this situation.

The fluorescent lights overhead hummed, and the sharp scent of bleach and sweat filled her nose. The other women in the cell were sprawled out in different states of exhaustion - some quiet, some eyeing her like they were trying to figure out if she was worth talking to.

One of them finally spoke up.

“You look like you ‘bout to pass out,” the woman across from her muttered, stretching her legs out in front of her. She was older, mid-forties maybe, with tired eyes and a voice rough from too many cigarettes. “This your first time?”

Ahvi shook her head, exhaling through her nose. “Nah.”

The rule on not making friends in jail rang in her head, so she didn’t want to give the woman too much.

The woman smirked, “Didn’t think so. You got that look like you tryna keep it together, though.”

Ahvi snorted, shaking her head. “Ain’t got no choice.”

The woman hummed, nodding like she understood. Maybe she did.

“You got kids?” the woman asked after a moment.

Ahvi swallowed, her throat tight. “Yea…one.”

Whoever made up small talk needed to be in jail because there was never enough time for it and no one really liked to do it.

“First time locked up since having him?”

Ahvi didn’t answer right away. She just nodded, fingers tapping against her knee, leg bouncing with pent-up energy.

“Yea,” the woman sighed, rubbing her hands together. “That shit hit different, don’t it?”

Ahvi wanted to brush it off, act like she wasn’t feeling it, but the lump in her throat made it impossible. “Yea,” she admitted, “It do.”

The woman didn’t pry any more after that, and Ahvi was grateful for the silence that settled between them. It was the only thing keeping her from falling apart completely.

When the guard finally came to the cell, calling her name for her phone call, she damn near jumped up before they could finish speaking.

It had been a whole day since she was brought in and they made no rush on getting the women booked or giving out phone calls. The judge hadn’t called for them to talk about arraignments nor had her probation officer shown up. She knew that would probably come before her actual hearing.

The guard led her out, past more cells and into a small room with a single payphone. She already knew the deal— one call and no do-overs. She punched in the number she knew by heart, pressing the receiver to her ear as it rang.

Sheena answered on the third ring, her voice too casual for someone who had a daughter sitting in jail. “Ahvi, what you calling me for? You know I can’t do nothing ‘bout?—”

“Where’s Kamari?” Ahvi cut in, her voice sharp. She didn’t have time for her mama’s blasé attitude.

Sheena huffed, “He good.”

“That’s not what I asked,” Ahvi snapped. “Where is my son?”

Sheena sighed like this was some minor inconvenience to her. “Lunar, that man you left him with, still got him.”

Ahvi frowned, her grip tightening on the phone. “Why the fuck does he still have my son? I don’t know that man like that.”

“Calm down – you can’t do nothin’ ‘bout it from where you at – can you? But I doubt he gon’ do something to him. Hell, when they brought him over here, he looked clean and fed to me. They pulled up in an expensive car so I know they got some money…you might have some of your mama in you after all,” Sheena said, like that was supposed to mean something.

Ahvi’s heart started pounding, “You let my baby go with a stranger?”

“Stop being dramatic,” Sheena scoffed. “I didn’t give him to no damn stranger, you did. Lunar showed up talkin’ ‘bout how you wanted Kamari with me, but I told him I ain’t got time for all that. Butta got summer league, and I already got enough on my plate.”

Ahvi clenched her jaw so hard it hurt. “So you just—what? Handed my son off to some dude you don’t even know?”

“Like I said, you left him with someone you ain’t know and like I told them, I love my grandson but I can’t see bout him. If I see Dro I’ll send him to get his son,” Sheena said, sounding irritated now. “And it ain’t like I had options! Your sister ain’t reliable, and I sure as hell ain’t dropping everything for a baby when I got my own life.”

Sheena was talking like everything she said really made sense. Maybe in her twisted ‘got my own life’ ass mind, it did - but not to Ahvi. She would rather Kamari be with Dro even though that nigga didn’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. Still, he was Kamari’s father and right now anyone was better than her mother.

Ahvi’s vision blurred with rage. “You don’t got time for your grandson?” she hissed. “You make time for card games but not for my baby?!”

“Don’t start that,” Sheena warned. “You act like you was some abandoned child. You always had a roof, food, clothes?—”

“Because of Daddy!” Ahvi shot back. “Not you!”

Sheena sucked her teeth. “Man, whatever. You actin’ like Lunar ain’t take good care of him. Besides, Tiny tried to say something slick, and I almost had to check her ass, so don’t say I ain’t do nothing.”

Ahvi barely heard that last part, too caught up in the fact that her mother had so easily dismissed Kamari like he was an extra responsibility she didn’t sign up for.

The automated voice cut in, cold and impersonal: You have one minute remaining on this call.

Ahvi sucked in a shaky breath, trying to keep her anger from boiling over. “You got his number?”

“Who?”

“Lunar,” Ahvi gritted out. Her mama was really pissing her off and showing why she should’ve stopped having kids a long time ago.

Ahvi felt that Sheena was often too childish. She cared about the local gossip more than what her kids were doing in school. Don’t get her wrong, Sheena didn’t play with disciplining her kids when it came to acting out in public but she wasn’t an active parent, nor did she stay on them like she should’ve.

Sheena sighed again, like this was so much work for her. “Yea, hold on.” Ahvi heard some shuffling before she rattled off the number.

Ahvi memorized it instantly, her mind already working through the next step.

“Figure out what you doin’ when you get out,” Sheena said before the line clicked dead.

Ahvi stood there for a second, the phone still pressed to her ear, even though the call had ended.

Her chest heaved, anger burning hot under her skin, but beneath that…beneath all the frustration and resentment was fear. Fear of harm coming to her baby and fear of not seeing him for a while.

She didn’t know Lunar, didn’t know what kind of situation Kamari was in and it was driving her crazy . But even through her fear, she saw the images of Big Lunar and his boyish grin and confident smile reassuring her that Kamari would be good with his son. He’d be cared for until she got back to her baby and that brought her a little comfort.

* * *

The Jade City house was full. Bodies were packed in every room, yet somehow, Lunar had never felt more alone. The air was thick with grief and something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. It was the kind of grief that didn’t settle but sat heavy on your chest, pressing down with every breath you take. Short clips of his father looped on the TV flashing pieces of a life Lunar never got to touch.

Big Lunar, the legend.

Big Lunar, the dreamer.

Big Lunar, the ghost he’d spent his whole life chasing.

Kamari had been passed around like a hot potato for two days straight, wailing every time he landed in the wrong arms. Tiny shook her head as she watched Kamari cry in Luna’s grip.

“Take his crybaby ass to Lunar or Pimp since them the only ones he don’t cry with,” she said, amused but exasperated.

Her heart had been running from the moment she heard Big Lunar’s voice. So much of him had been shared and every selfish part of her wanted to have kept the memories to herself. She felt it was her right but when sorrowful sobs turned into peaceful tears, she knew sharing their memories with her family had been the right thing to do.

Luna sucked her teeth, bouncing Kamari against her chest. “He just gotta get used to us… ain’t that right, Mari?”

Kamari stopped just long enough to make her think she’d won. Then he picked right up where he left off, his little face scrunching in distress. She tried to soothe him by smoothing his thick and untamed hair down.

“And this is why I ain’t in a hurry to have kids,” Noodle deadpanned before snatching a piece of fried fish fresh from the pan.

Tiny smirked, stirring a pot of creamy cheese grits. “We can’t tell,” she quipped just as Bu came up behind Noodle, hooking an arm around her waist.

Noodle playfully shoved a bite-size piece of fish into his mouth.

“See?” Tiny wagged her spoon in triumph.

Noodle rolled her eyes. “Mav need to come get his wife.”

“I agree,” Luna said, smirking, only for Tiny to cut her a sharp look.

Bu laughed, shaking his head. “Man, he where I need to be ‘cause it’s too much estrogen in here.”

“Please,” Tiny scoffed. “You can’t keep your hands off Noodle.”

“Or go five minutes without laying eyes on her,” Luna added with a knowing smirk.

With betrayal written on her face, Noodle gasped, hand on her heart. “You are so fake! You was just on my side.”

“I’m only on the side of right.”

Noodle waved her off, going to check the biscuits. Exhaustion was starting to creep in. Hopping on a plane, crossing time zones, and crying until she felt hollow had her weary and hungry.

Tiny popped Noodle’s hand before she could grab one. “You sure you ain’t already pregnant?” her brows rose in question.

“Nah, she ain’t…I make sure she take that pill faithfully,” Bu said lazily, sneakily pinching her ass.

“A black king,” Luna laughed, still trying to rock Kamari to sleep.

But even through the teasing and the warmth of family, the weight of Big Lunar’s absence settled over them like a second skin. They had never forgotten him-- not really. But time had tucked him into the background, a memory that only surfaced in passing. Now he was everywhere. His voice played in old videos, his face stared back at them through old pictures, his love lingered in every story told.

The thing about dreams was that they never really ended. Maybe they had forgotten that.

The worst kind of forgetting isn’t losing memories or forgetting to dream, it’s losing the dreams that once made you reach for more—the ones that took you to the moon and beyond the stars.

Like hounds that could smell food once it was done, all the men cam barging into the kitchen with red eyes from crying and smoking. Their hunger kicked in, stomachs growling since no one had eaten much of anything since being there.

Javen tapped Luna’s thigh, silently telling her to get up so he could sit, with her on his lap instead. The movement jolted Kamari from falling asleep he had been fighting. “Man, where his daddy at?” Javen joked, knowing exactly how Tiny would react.

As expected, she sassed, “That’s what I asked his triflin’ ass granny when she pawned his fat ass off on us.”

“For real, where is Lunar though?” Maverick asked, voice edged with quiet concern.

“Right here,” Lunar’s voice came from around the corner, low and rough. He stood there in nothing but sweatpants, dark circles under his eyes, his face drawn and distant. He barely looked like himself.

The charming and charismatic young man he once was, seemed to have vanished in thin air.

Kamari reached for him immediately, already recognizing his voice.

“Give ‘em here.”

The baby settled the second he was in Lunar’s arms, making Luna suck her teeth in irritation. Lunar barely reacted. Without another word, he turned and padded back down the hall, disappearing into the master suite with everyone else trading silent eye contact. They said so much without saying a word. Lunar was experiencing the ugliest part of love— grief .

Inside, the room was dimly lit, filled with the quiet hum of breathing and light laughter. Aku was curled up under the blankets, her head resting in Pimp’s lap. They’d been here with him, keeping him company without forcing words he wasn’t ready to say. When the tears had slipped down his face, they didn’t acknowledge them. When he laughed—really laughed—at the thought of Big Lunar joining the army, they let him.

It was all part of the process. You couldn’t avoid grief, couldn’t sidestep the pain. You had to go through that shit… feel that shit. It was a blessing to love someone so much that it hurt.

Noodle and Bu had been in here too, but hunger led them to the kitchen. It was only a matter of time before they wandered back in like the lovesick couple they were.

Aku groaned when she saw him walk in with Kamari. “Don’t come in here with all that crying shit, Kamari,” she grumbled.

At only seven months, he understood none of her words but all of her tone. Still, she talked to him like he was grown.

“Not too much on my boy,” Pimp chuckled, holding out his arms.

Lunar passed Kamari off without a word, moving like he was on autopilot. He dropped onto the loveseat in the sitting area of the massive suite, the space he claimed since being back. The house was his now.

And it should have felt like home.

But right now, nothing did.

Kamari gurgled, his tiny fingers wrapping around Pimp’s chain, yanking at it. Pimp winced but let him have it, too tired to fight.

Aku smirked, snuggling deeper into the covers. “Big bad Pimp getting punked by a baby,” she teased.

Pimp scoffed. “Shut yo’ ass up.”

Lunar barely registered their banter. His gaze wandered the room aimlessly not focusing on anything, his thoughts spinning too fast to catch. He should’ve been in there, laughing with them, eating, and reminiscing. But all he could do was sit here and feel.

Feel the loss.

Feel the weight of his name.

Feel like Kamari’s tiny body against his chest was the only thing grounding him to the earth.

And then there was Kamari…a baby he barely knew, yet something deep in his gut told him he was supposed to protect him, to guide him.

Like someone had sent him there.

It was like someone had sent him there…like his father had sent him there.

Lunar closed his eyes, the sounds of Pimp and Aku’s playful bickering fading into the background.

He’d never met Big Lunar.

But damn did he miss him.