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fourteen

Ahvi groaned as Kamari cried again for the third night in a row. She had let him curl up next to Lunar enough, like he paid bills and bought his own shit. But now, she was trying to put her foot down and get him back used to sleeping without Lunar.

The sexual tension between them had been thick over the past few days. Lunar didn’t seem too bothered about anything and still flirted with her like he hadn’t already unlocked something inside of her. The way he looked at her was like he saw the parts of her she usually hid. He said shit he had no business saying, then left her on the edge, lips swollen, and heart pacing like she ran track…then nothing.

No follow-up…no com’ere…no pull to his chest to finish what they started like she wasn’t out there begging to be broken.

Instead, Lunar went to the studio, leaving her with tension in her spine and Kamari screaming like she was abusing him.

Ahvi had even claimed one of the guest rooms by putting a few things in the drawers, laying out Kamari’s little stuff, making it clear that she wasn’t trying to just float around the house like some girl waiting on a man to notice her. She wasn’t petty…but she wasn’t playing either.

Ahvi had standards and knew how to move around when it was time to move around.

“Ma-ma,” Kamari whimpered, his bottom lip poked.

Ahvi sat up so fast she almost gave herself whiplash. “What you say?”

Kamari sniffled again, arms outstretched like she wasn’t already right there.

“Lunar!” she hollered, not taking her eyes off Kamari. “Say it again, baby. Say mama again! Lunar!” she yelled again, a big smile on her face and tears in her eyes.

Ahvi could hear footsteps before the door was pushed open.

“What?!” Lunar panted, stumbling in like the house was on fire. “The hell you screaming for?”

“He said mama!” Ahvi smiled, pointing at Kamari like Lunar didn’t know who he was. “I swear he just said mama!”

Lunar looked at Kamari, whose only concern now was getting to his favorite person in the house. “Com’ere man,” Lunar said, scooping him up like second nature. “I thought we had an agreement. Your mama wants you in here with her, but she don’t want to sleep in our room no more. I tried to tell her…”

“Lunar.” Ahvi narrowed her eyes.

He kept going, bouncing Kamari gently. “I told her…she ain’t ready, man… I ain’t broke her yet.”

Ahvi slapped his bare back.

“That shit hurt,” Lunar grimaced.

“You are not about to turn my baby against me,” she snapped, folding her arms. “I don’t like it.”

Lunar walked over, poking her cheek with his free hand. “I don’t like you trying to sleep in here like we strangers. But we can’t all get what we want…can we, Ahvi?”

Kamari blinked slowly, head tucked into Lunar’s neck, already drifting off.

She ignored him, sucking her teeth. “This boy stay choosing you over me.”

“He got good taste.”

“Mmhmm. So, you done now?” she asked, gesturing to the sleeping baby.

Lunar shook his head, voice low. “No, let me go put him down in his room, though. I’ll be back.”

“This is his room, Lunar,” she huffed, flopping her back against the headboard. Every room in the house was luxurious. The headboard was even plush as her back sank into it.

“Tell him that,” he laughed. “I’ll be right back.”

“Back for what?”

“You’ll see,” he said with humor in his voice, disappearing and closing the door behind him.

Ten minutes later, he knocked lightly on the guest room door. Ahvi opened it halfway, expecting something smart to fly out of his mouth.

“Come with me,” he said, leaning against the frame still shirtless and sexy as hell.

“Where?”

“Studio…Come vibe with me.”

“I ain’t got no songs.” She smiled, knowing she was already in that studio with him if that was where he wanted her.

“You got your presence.” He grinned. “That’s enough.”

She rolled her eyes but grabbed the throw blanket off the bed and slid her feet into a pair of slippers she stole from the hall closet. It was like a damn hotel with spare robes and house shoes hanging around.

The hallway was dim, and the house was quiet. Nothing but the sounds of Kamari through the baby monitor in Lunar’s pocket could be heard. Ahvi would never not admire every little detail of the house because she’d never imagined being in anything like it. Maybe she never dreamed that big—never dreamed at all. Ish had told her that life was for reality, wasn’t no need in keeping your head in the clouds.

The studio was tucked in the massive basement which was almost another house in itself. Warm and low lights glowed, while soft bass pulsed from the monitors. There was a blanket thrown over the couch, two half-empty water bottles on the console, and the faint scent of Lunar’s cologne clinging to the air.

She walked in cautiously, running her fingers along the back of the leather chair. He shut the door behind them, sealing the space off from the world.

“You record anything today?” she asked.

“Nah. Just been messing around with sounds,” he said, sitting at the board. “You like music?”

“I’d be dead without it.”

He glanced at her over his shoulder. “Shit, me too.”

Lunar hit play and a beat crept in. It was almost sensual with a lazy hi-hat and syrupy synths that felt like late nights and unspoken thoughts. Felt like late night rides with the girl of your dreams. Lunar told Pimp it felt like Ahvi when they first heard it earlier that night.

Ahvi nodded, letting it roll over her. She’d never been in a studio before and after only a few minutes, she understood how people got lost in there, never coming out to breathe. It had to be something special about the architecture of the room because the sound seemed to stay contained while using the walls to create a crescendo effect. It was like being inside a speaker.

“Come chill with me…let your hair down,” Lunar pulled the scrunchie from around her natural hair.

Ahvi had a head full of natural, curly hair. Some of her hair was tightly coiled while other parts had a more defined curl pattern. Having her own head of hair saved her when she didn’t have money to get it done. Instead of complaining, Ish made her learn how to style it herself. She remembered crying because the other girls had braids and other style. Ish couldn’t care less and instead, bought her all the products for her to practice with.

She smiled, walking around the booth, touching things she didn’t understand. “You always knew this was what you wanted to do?”

“Yea, it was the only thing that made the chaos make sense.” He said it too smooth, too quiet…like it hurt.

Ahvi sat on the edge of the couch. “What chaos?”

He didn’t turn, just stared at the waveforms dancing across the screen. “Big Lunar… I wanted a tangible piece of him…some shit I couldn’t have…couldn’t find a way to accept. I used to hate listening to them sit around and talk about him teaching them how to swim and throw a ball…shit like that. I was mad ‘cause I didn’t have any memories with him. But I kept it to myself, knowing no one would understand. I still grew up good. Mav is perfect. He made my Mama happy and they both gave me and Monday a life they only dreamed of—a world Lunar had dreamed of. Like Javen went pro because Big Lunar believed he could throw a ball better than everyone else. Luna found music and I know he had to feed into that too…” Lunar swallowed, looking for what he was trying to say. “I sat in my room and made myself believe my daddy taught me how to rap.” He swiped at his eyes. “Like how he taught them how to do everything and they made something out of nothing from it? I pretended he taught me how to rhyme words and be witty. So, music is something I feel like I share with Big Lunar.”

Ahvi listened, her chest tightening at how wounded his words felt.

“Music was the only place I could put that rage, you feel me? The confusion, that why-me feeling.”

“Yea,” she said, her tone soft. “I do.”

“Was Big Lunar a rapper?” Ahvi asked.

Lunar smirked thinking about the video of Big Lunar rapping to Tiny’s pregnant belly. “Hell nah.”

Ahvi didn’t say anything, just gave him time to gather his emotions.

He finally turned toward her, elbows resting on his knees. “What about you?” he asked. “You carry your own weight like it’s nothing. But I see it.”

Ahvi looked down at her hands and began picking at her nails. “Sheena sent me to live with my daddy when I was about five. Grew up with my him —he did what he could, but he was more rules than hugs, always tryna keep me from becoming a problem instead of pouring into me like I was a blessing.”

Lunar gripped her thigh. “You really are a blessing.” Maybe Ahvi didn’t understand what her kismet run-in with him really meant to him. But Lunar truly felt she was a blessing to his life. Her and Kamari.

She shrugged. “I learned to be everything for myself.”

They didn’t touch. But the heat between them said they could, told them the space was safe for them to explore and fill the holes they’d been carrying like an empty bucket someone promised would one day be filled with no other instructions.

“You don’t have to do that now,” he declared. “Be everything, I mean.”

Ahvi turned her head, meeting his eyes. “You saying you tryna be something for me?”

“I’m saying I already am. You just scared to see it.”

Silence filled the room again, the beat still playing…their breathing syncing.

Then he leaned in. “You know how to rap?” he asked, going back to the soundboard, tapping away on some buttons.

“Nigga, no!” she laughed out loud. “You know what? Hell yea…put me in the booth.” Her new outlook on life was to try new things. Ish would’ve had a fit, and maybe that made her want to do it even more.

“Ahvi stop playing with me like I won’t fuck around and put you on the album.” Lunar’s brows rose daring her to dare him.

“I said put me in the booth,” she smiled. “You think I need to write something?” she asked, second guessing her initial instinct.

“Nah, I think you can just spit off the dome. You like this beat or you want something else?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know, you the professional.”

Lunar cut his eyes at her before nudging her towards the medium-sized booth. “Get yo’ smart mouth ass in there.”

Ahvi laughed as goosebumps rose on her skin. It was cold in the room, but she knew it wasn’t the chill, it was his hands on her that caused them. Lunar didn’t give her butterflies - that was too subtle, too easy. He gave her fireflies. Fireflies meant heat, danger, and the urge to flee. They reminded her of summer nights. Glowing and harmless, yet wild enough to make you scream and run as they got close. You’d dodge fireflies in panic, but let a butterfly land softly on your hand without a second thought. Yea, he gave her fireflies.

Thinking about fireflies gave her the perfect topic for her little verse. Ahvi had no idea what a bar count was, so Lunar didn’t give her directions on that. He just let her do her own thing.

“Yo…Yo…” Ahvi said, bobbing her head like she was in a cypher in the 90s.

Lunar cracked up.

She couldn’t hear his laughter but could see him through the glass looking like he was having some kind of medical emergency.

“I’m ‘bout to get out cause you tryna clown me,” Ahvi poked out her lip.

Lunar pressed the intercom button. “My bad. You sound so good it got tears in my eyes.” He cut the feed long enough to crack up again. He laughed so hard, tears dripped from his eyes.

She crossed her arms, glaring at him with a mug on her face. “Yea, let me get out cause I don’t have time.”

“You mad for real?” Lunar held his stomach. “Like you dead ass mad that you in there saying some damn, yo yo yo like it’s 1985? Ask yourself when’s the last time you heard somebody start they song like that? Better yet, you ain’t never heard no song start like that.”

“Yes I have!”

“By who? Some old ass rapper your daddy grew up on?” He twisted his lips, calling her out on her bullshit.

No matter how much she wanted to keep her mad face, it split open with a loud laugh. “Nigga, not too much on my old man…he had a little taste.”

“Okay, spit something like you learned from your daddy’s old ass,” he smiled.

Ahvi rolled her eyes. “Drop that shit!”

They both cracked up again. Ahvi was so damn corny. Hood, no-nonsense, but there was something soft in her. She was innocent in a way she didn’t even notice.

Lunar knew if she wasn’t so busy avoiding asking for help, her life would’ve been lighter. She could’ve really stepped into that feminine energy she thought she didn’t have.

But he’d argue she was the most feminine girl he’d ever met.

She was a mother in every sense. Skin soft like she prayed over lotion. She cared how she moved through the world. She could cook your favorite restaurant under the table and made the kind of meals that healed shit you didn’t even know was broken.

And her pussy? Warm, wet, held his finger like she took her time choosing who got access. That was femininity too—discernment.

But the real test came when life got heavy.

When the world beat her man down to nothing. That’s when the queen showed up. Soft for him but a fuckin’ beast for them .

That’s what true femininity looked like.

Not just grace, but grit.

He’d seen it in the women who raised him.

And now, he wanted it for himself.

Because he knew—he deserved that kind of love.

“You gonna keep staring at me or play the damn beat?” Ahvi rested her hands on her hips, watching him watch her. Her skin crawled under his gaze even with the glass between them.

He nodded after taking one last glance at her.

The beat started and Ahvi bobbed her head, pushing her tongue between her lips. “They light up fast, then fade away, Like promises that never stay. Got me spooked but I stay fly. Runnin’ from nothin’—just a firefly.” She spit off beat but with a big smile like she really laid down some heat.

This time Lunar didn’t laugh. His smile showed a full grid of perfectly white teeth and those dimples.

“I did good?” Ahvi asked, pushing her tongue inside her cheek to stop those pesky fireflies.

Lunar nodded, waving her out the booth, still not saying a word. His bedroom eyes seared into hers with intensity.

Ahvi didn’t have time to do anything but hold on when his lips crashed into her. “I keep thinking about that kiss,” he said, voice low. “How you tasted like chocolate… I don’t even like chocolate.”

His words came out jumbled between their lips pressing against each other and his tongue chasing hers.

“Break me.” Ahvi’s body craved Lunar so bad that she didn’t care how he broke her. Fear didn’t give her reservations when her pussy thumped and her throat was thick from lust. All she wanted was to feel him on top of her and in her skin so she threw everything to the wind.

Lunar pushed her hair out her face while pushing her head back against the wall. “Why you want me to break you if you ain’t gon’ do nothing but run when you realize what that truly means for you? If I break you, I’ll erase everything you thought you knew—everything you thought you were. So, tell me, Ahvi, do you want me to break you?”

“Yes!” she cried, choking on his seduction. “Break me so good, Lunar.”

Lunar lifted her in his arms, his lips attacking her—still warning her that she had to be ready for whatever he did.

“Mmmm,” Ahvi moaned, her hands gripping the back of his head, pushing him deeper into her mouth.

“Last warning,” he pulled back, examining her face. His thumb swiped across her lips. “You so pretty, Ahvi. You know that?”

“Yes,” she panted, making a slow smile appear on his face. “No more warnings…just do it – I’m ready.”

Lunar chewed on his bottom lip as he put her feet on the ground. Ahvi craned her neck to look in his eyes, waiting for what came next. Her pussy pulsed under the oversized shirt she had on.

“On your knees,” Lunar said low, directing her with his eyes, the beat still looping in the background.

“What?” her brows bunched in confusion.

He tangled his hands in her hair, yanking her head back. “Don’t ask questions - just do what I tell you to do.”

Ahvi swallowed, slowly easing her body to her knees. This was new for her and she didn’t know if she liked it or not. He wasn’t being rough, so maybe it wasn’t the BDSM she’d heard about. It didn’t feel like it, but she would have to see it through to fully grasp what was happening.

“Take my dick out, Ahvi.”

Chills of anticipation shot up her back when he said her name so gently she almost missed it. Still, she did what she was told. Her small hands dipped into the waistband of his shorts, pulling out his heavy dick. Up close it was beautiful. The mushroomed head was slightly darker than the rest of it. There was one vein that stood out among the others. Her mouth watered with the urge to run her tongue against it—to see exactly what that cord could do.

He tapped her forehead, directing her attention to his eyes. “Don’t just look at it. Kiss it a little, get to know him, then put this muthafucka down your throat…don’t suck it cute, either. I want you wild for me, spit and tears Ahvi.”

His drawl felt like a spell was being cast over her because she did exactly what he told her to. First, she flattened her tongue against that vein staring her in the face. Then she kissed the caramel head before stretching her mouth open to accept all of his girth. Lunar was beyond blessed.

He hissed when her teeth scraped him slightly.

“Sorry,” she barely eased out before he was slow grinding into her mouth.

Tears coated her eyes, and spit dripped from her plump lips. Her sucking and slurping sounds mixed in with the beat and Lunar’s moans. His hands massaged her scalp as a reward for sucking his dick so good. The curling of his toes was a telltale sign that he was so close.

“Ahvi,” Lunar growled. “You swallow?” he asked.

She shook her head, seeing the look of disappointment on his face. “But I’ll do it for you ...”

Lunar’s release sounded like an animal in the wild—scary but sexy—euphoric enough to have you taking your stupid ass to see what that sound was.

Ahvi swished his nut around her mouth, wanting to savor the salty, bitter taste before drinking it down like she’d seen on porn, she opened her mouth to show him, she’d swallowed.

Lunar placed his hands on his head, dizzy from looking down at her—admiring her. He yanked her up, with his hands resting on the sides of her face. She looked like a beautiful mess as he stuck his tongue in her mouth.

Ahvi gasped for air, holding onto her own shirt to keep from floating away. Her eyes fluttered as her heart pounded her chest, but Lunar wasn’t done.

“Touch your toes,” he commanded, tugging on her earlobe unlocking a new kink for her.

Ahvi only nodded, turned on and wanting more. She was enjoying him taking the lead so she was free to just listen—not lead, not be the strong one for a change. There had to be a method to his madness…to his desire, and she wanted to feel it too. She wondered if he broke all the girls? Was Apple a broken girl who couldn’t ever let go? Or did Apple break him first since he was the one fighting over her.

“Ahvi,” Lunar called out, snapping her back to reality.

“Huh?” she asked, bent over, looking up at him.

He popped her round ass. “Stop thinking, just do.”

“Oh—okay,” she whimpered from the sting of his tap.

The rough pads of his hands roamed over her ass and thighs. He allowed a finger to slip between the thin fabric of her panties teasingly. Ahvi panted, silently pleading for his fingers inside of her again. She’d been thinking about it since that day on the hill.

“Your skin so soft and you’re beautiful like this. Be silent for me…no talking back… just let me have you. Can I have you?” Lunar asked, removing his hands fully…depriving her of his touch. “Can I break you and put you back together the way God intended for you to be – whole not hurt?”

“Yes Lunar yes,” Ahvi simpered. His words felt like more than some freaky fantasy. They felt real because she didn’t feel whole. She’d never felt put together – how could he know?

Lunar pulled her panties to the side, lining his dick up at her entrance, slowly easing himself in. He didn’t stop until every inch of his dick was inside of her.

“Uuuuggghhh!” Ahvi crooned. Her hand grabbed her belly, feeling him deep in there.

“Shit, Ahvi,” Lunar moaned, loving the way she felt wrapped around him. “I should’ve broke you sooner. This feels so good we should have done this sooner…”

She nodded, feeling dizzy, all her senses reacting at the same time from her head being upside down which was different than anything she’d ever experienced. Her body shook as he glided in and out. It was on beat and in tune with her heart.

Spreading his legs apart, he dug deeper into her, grinding. His teeth pushed into his bottom lip as sweat formed on his head. “You feel so good,” he repeated over and over like he wasn’t sure she would feel that good.

He pulled her up so that her back was pressed against his chest, never slowing his pace.

“Lunar,” she moaned, feeling his intensity grow with each stroke. “Oh, shiiittt!”

“Yea, I know…good dick mixed with good pussy equals pure fuckin’ pleasure. This is what pleasure feels like, Ahvi. You know that? Huh?” Lunar blabbered, his thoughts raw and meaningful though they came out jumbled as he got caught up in the moment. “Huh, Ahvi? I can have you right?”

“Yes…yes…yes!” she yelled, “… I want you too.”

“I’m already yours,” he declared, fucking her harder, not looking at her face until he couldn’t take it anymore.

He pulled out just long enough to sit on the coach and pull her with him to straddle him and ride his dick. With his hands behind his head, he allowed her to do her thing, to take as much of him as she could. His Ahvi was taking big dick, accepting every challenge he gave her. When she reached out to touch him, he let her, yanking her close enough for his canines to sink into her shoulder as she came again and again.

“Tell me what Ish told you…tell me why you think you can run shit?” Lunar asked, his dick still hard inside of her while he stayed absolutely still waiting for her response.

“He said I was born in the wild, birthed howling at the moon, pounding my chest like a lion,” Ahvi confessed, resting her head on his shoulder.

Lunar nodded. “Howling at the moon, bathing in the sun…making the stars jealous, Ahvi. Lioness , the fiercest one in the pack - the mother, hunter, gatherer, the fucking back bone.” Lunar stared into her eyes. “I think your daddy forgot to tell you the rest of the story. The one where you ain’t need nobody to save you, just find someone to help you complete the circle of life. You a circle or square?”

It was like she had been freed by his understanding. Twenty-three years of tears burst from her eyes, pouring out while the protective walls around her heart started to crumble.

Not all the way though—just enough to test the air.

She clung onto him as he pumped up into her, taking her body to a place no one had ever experienced with her. If she had to sum it up, Lunar would simply go down as the best sex of her life and hopefully her last...

Lunar fucked her and made love to her all night long until Kamari’s cries crackled through the monitor.

By then, she was his…