Page 55 of Someone Else's Wolf

He sighed and with effort turned around in my arms, hugging me back. It was an odd, tangled-limbed embrace, and it felt so good. He kissed me deliberately and sighed again, looking me in the eye. "I'm good. I'm with you. I think I—" He bit his lip, a look of distress entering his gaze. "I think I—"

He couldn't say it.

He didn't have to.

"Shh." I kissed him to silence him, and he began to relax again, to kiss me back.

I don't need you to say it, Peter. I don't need the words, not anymore.I just loved him. I could do that forever, without needing the words said back. The words, as I'd decided once before, were about describing something that was there whether it was talked about or not. If it was there, that was what mattered, not the words. I'd tried hard to believe that before. Now, I truly did.

"It's okay," he said. "I'm okay. I really am." When he looked at me, his eyes held the clear, shining look of truthfulness — and a glimmer of tears.

I kissed him again. We would get through this, I decided. He'd already gotten through so much. Most of all, Jeffrey was out of his life, and whatever time it took to recover from Jeffrey's abuse would be worth it. Everything was worth it; Peter was free.

And even though I'd done what I could to help, it had ultimately been Peter who'd broken free — he'd done it, not me.

He would go the rest of the way, and I'd walk along to help as long as he wanted me to.

#

One day, it finally felt like the right time to ask. Or at least, I was brave enough to ask.

"Peter, can I see your wolf form sometime?"

He stopped chopping carrots and turned to stare at me, astonished.

"I mean, when — if you're ever ready," I backpedaled, and then I couldn't help grinning at him. "Oh, Peter, you look so..." I reached out, took the knife out of his hands, and set it down gently. "It's not such a shocking request, is it?" I hefted myself up onto the counter near him. He was really unexpectedly attractive in an apron. I wouldn't have thought it was a look I'd go for, but it was.

"No, it's—" He cleared his throat and looked down. "That is, I should have thought of it much sooner. I'm sorry."

"I wish you wouldn't apologize when you've done nothing wrong."

"You're right. Sorry."

Then he realized what he'd just said and started to laugh, a beautiful sound, honest, helpless laughter. It was both catching and cathartic. We laughed till there were tears in our eyes. My dear Peter, apologizing for his apologies, the sweetest, best man in the world.

In the end, he picked me up off the counter, gave me a kiss, and carried me into the bedroom.

"What, now?" I asked when he plopped me down with that intent look in his eye. "I thought we were going to see your wolf form."

"Could we have sex first? Nothing in the kitchen will burn, I promise." He twirled the end of an apron string with his fingers, a shy little twiddling movement. His smile was ingratiating and hopeful.

"No, it's just that the sheets here will be scorched." I grinned up at him, feeling deliciously desirable. He could hardly keep his hands off me sometimes, and I loved it. I crossed my legs at the ankles and leaned back on my arms, smiling up at him. "All right, then."

He laughed, then looked at me more seriously, tilting his head slightly. "If you mind, you'll say so, right?"

"Of course, Peter. You know that."

He got self-conscious at the oddest times.I love sex, I love you, and you're really good at this.I decided not to say these things since he'd likely get embarrassed, and embarrassed wasn't a good way to start.

"It can wait a couple of minutes, can't it? I mean you seeing my wolf form."

"It can wait forever if you need it to." I smiled at him, feeling so warm towards this amazing man that I reached up and took his hand and drew him closer. "I'm just curious. If you're not comfortable, don't." It was amazing, the things we could talk about these days, both of us actually communicating. We could even talk about this.

"No, I want to. I just — well — I'll feel even more comfortableafter." His grin was boyishly shy. "I always feel like I could do anything, after we..." He gestured embarrassedly at the bed and me.

"Ooh, them's fucking words, Peter! C'mere and prove it."

He did. We got a bit distracted, and then he proved it again. It was really a nice way to spend our afternoon. After a bit, we fell asleep.