Page 18 of Someone Else's Wolf

"What? I'm going right away?" I shook his hand numbly. That couldn't be it, could it? There was always a long waiting list.

"A non-standard group is open next week. We're filling it with previously unqualified officers of the law who lacked the supposedly necessary drive scores — things like ambition and outgoing personality, decorations and medals and the like. We've found that's not always the best way to find steady, trustworthy partners. So, get packing, and get ready to make some new friends. One of them, you might just spend the rest of your professional life with."

Talk about things changing in a moment.

He gave me another long look. "No matter what happens, you won't be paired with Peter Worth. I hope you know that."

"Um...okay? I didn't want to be."

"Good. Things happen, but we don't go out of our way to pair lovers on the job. It's a conflict of interest we seek to avoid whenever possible. Which, I must admit, it often isn't." He tapped the papers, sighed, and rose to his feet.

Wait. He knew about that? I managed to drag my jaw off the floor, but not till after he'd gone.Holy shit. So much for keeping it a secret, huh?Maybe after this, if it got out, I'd be moving to Qualestown anyway — if they'd even want me.Thanks, Peter!

I left the meeting in a daze, wondering what to do now. Did everyone know? Or had Peter been that circumspect, at least? And should I confront him? After all, there was a strong possibility he'd given it away accidentally. Not that I didn't like Peter (far, far too much already), but I didn't much like this. Would blaming him help? It might ruin what we had, especially if he took offense.

But my heart was beating hard with unwanted adrenaline as my mind raced at the thought of being outed, of the whole precinct knowing. I wished he'd been able to keep his mouth shut. He hadn't had any trouble not revealing my orientation, so why had he given this away, and to an official, no less?

Partway down the hall, I saw Sue. Her little smile was cold and self-satisfied, and I knew I'd blamed the wrong person.

#

Nobody acted differently towards me; there weren't even any weird glances. I had a harrowing few days as I jumped at shadows and waited for the ax to fall, all while trying to act like I wasn't worried about anything.

But nothing changed. Nobody acted weird at all, and they would have if they'd known. There was too much straight-guy machismo here. I was forced to conclude that Sue had only ruined my blood pressure by telling the interviewer to keep me from stealing her partner — which I hadn't wanted to do, anyway.

I could've cursed the woman for putting me through that, but I was glad it was a false alarm. She wasn't about to out me when it would mean outing her partner, as well. At least she had that much protective instinct when it came to him. She didn't want to see him hurt or harassed.Or else she thinks telling would make him angry enough to really throw her over for a new partner.Either way, my fake straightness was safe — for now.

I packed, cleaned my apartment, used up the perishables from my fridge, took care of casework and signed forms, dotting the I's and crossing the T's. And then it was time to go. Peter drove me to the airport, no Sue in sight. He seemed downcast, reflective, even sad. Somehow, I felt too nervous to make conversation or pretend nothing was wrong.

This was both unnerving and exciting. I hoped he didn't regret having helped me on this adventure. But I couldn't ask him. If we'd been naked, splayed out and exhausted, I could've asked him anything (well, nearly anything), but this felt strangely formal, as if I it wasn't right to speak of or ask anything personal at all.

"Are you glad you're going?" he asked as he put the car in park. He didn't look at me, almost as if he didn't dare.

"Yes. Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You've been really edgy the last few days. I wondered if you had regrets. About anything."

Oh. He meant sleeping together as well as the program, didn't he?

"No, it wasn't you. It wasn't this, or us. Just..." I shrugged, spreading my hands, not wanting to throw the person he trusted under the bus, even if she deserved it. He would be the one hurt by that. He trusted her, and I didn't want to come between them, and not because she'd sure as shit out me if I did. Mostly not that at all. After all, she really wasn't a monster — she just hated me.

"Oh. Good." He finally dared to look at me then. "Do you still want to see me, after you graduate? I mean, if you move back here?" He looked forsaken and sad at the thought of me not coming back.

I answered with impulsive honesty, not needing time to think about it. "Of course. Hell, yes. You're the best thing that's happened to me in ages."

Because we were in a hugely anonymous parking lot, I dared to lean between the seats and kiss him. A not-quite-public display of affection for our goodbye. When I drew back, he was smiling and looked more like himself.

"Good. I'm glad." He reached up and rubbed a thumb along my jaw, his gaze intent, as if he was memorizing me. "I know you'll ace this. I just hope you pick a good partner."

I laughed, because surely he was kidding. "What are you talking about?Theypick — shifter's choice, remember?" I nudged him, grinning. I liked it when he touched me, even for no reason. It did weird things to my gut.

"You have a choice, Shane. Don't let anyone make you think otherwise. If you don't like working with someone, don't pick them." His face was concerned as he said it, searching my gaze. "Remember that, okay?"

"Okay." I highly doubted I'd have much choice in the matter, unless I wanted to drop out of the program. If the only shifter who wanted me was too repugnant, I'd do that. But I wasn't going to worry about it right now, so I captured his hand and held it between mine. "Hey. Thanks for caring. I'll be fine. Even if it doesn't work out, I'll be fine. I'm glad to have the chance."

"You haven't seemed very glad the last few days...?" His tone made it a question, trailing off.

I tried to blow off the subject. "Just a lot of stress. Don't worry about it. Iamglad. Don't worry, okay? Promise."