Page 47 of Someone Else's Wolf

"You know I did."I think some part of me still does."It doesn't matter."

He hugged himself and hunched his shoulders, looking down, nodding once, twice. "No. You're right. It doesn't. Nobody has before, that's all."

Hadn't I more or less thrown myself at his feet? And he still hadn't gotten it? My indignation receded to the background as the rest of what he'd said registered. "What? Doesn't your mate?"

His laugh was bitter and loud, startling us both. He uncrossed his arms and rubbed a hand under his nose. It was uncomfortable even looking at him; everything about his posture screamed discomfort.

I'd never seen someone do "casual posture" so poorly before. Yes, Peter was an awkward nerd — but not like this. And not with me. But then, a lot of things had changed lately. A hell of a lot of things.

"No," said Peter. "He doesn't love me. He never did." His voice was soft, matter-of-fact. Then he turned and headed back to the house.

I found myself running after him. "Then, why can't you leave him?" His steps were long and fierce, stabbing the ground. He half-stumbled over one or two spots. I kept up easily and caught hold of his arm. "Peter. Why?"

"Because that's not what mates do. Because I'm his now, forever, no matter what. That's all there is." The anger and hopelessness in his voice shocked me.

"You mean you don't want to be? You're not nuts about him?"

His laugh was unexpected and hard. "No. No, not anymore. I grew up a long time ago."

"Peter. Stop. Talk to me."

"There's no point."

"But I want to know. How did..." I paused, wondering if I was digging into some trauma he'd rather not relive. "I mean, if you can stand to tell me."

He turned to face me, looking down at me, his expression fierce aside from the tears glimmering on his lashes. "He came to my pack to find a mate. That's all. He found me, and I liked him so much. He was a bit older than I was, and so cool, and just—"

Peter swallowed hard. "He didn't mind that I was gay. I was too young to know that's not quite enough. He wanted someone who would have to stay with him and do what he said and be his forever. Someone who'd take care of him no matter what. An insurance policy."

I couldn't speak. I didn't have any idea what to say. How could something like that happen?

Peter's smile was a painful thing to see, twisted and deprecating. "It didn't work. He still managed to get himself into trouble too big for me to handle."

"And then he got locked up," I breathed.Why couldn't he just stay there for good?"But your pack. Didn't they have anything to say about it?"

"They wondered if I was a bit young, but that's all." He shrugged. "Finding a mate is such a personal thing. If you're sure, even when you're young, it's perfectly acceptable. I was sixteen, and that's old enough to know, if you're not a brain-dead moron."

"You're not."

"I was just so happy to have someone who liked me. Who wantedme. But he didn't, not really. He wanted his very own wolf. And he got one."

I took a steadying breath and gripped his forearms, looking up at him. "So, leave him."

He snorted. "What's the point, Shane? What's the fucking point of even trying? He'll always be my mate. That's how these things work."

"Not if he doesn't love you. It can't be real, if he just uses you for your loyalty and kindness." And probably for sex, and of course to cook for him and clean up his messes — oh, it hurt to even think of anyone using sweet, generous Peter, taking advantage of his kind nature so often and so much that he could be this miserable.

Just then, a voice called out from the house. "Peter! Where are you? Get the fuck out here!"

That was the first time I'd heard his voice. I didn't even know his name.

Peter jumped a little, a haunted look in his eyes. "I've got to go." He started to pull away.

I gave his arms a quick squeeze, then released him. "Just think about it, okay? Do you...ah...should I meet him?"

"Hell, no." There was a look of fervent fear in his eyes. "Just go home, okay? Thanks for..." He swallowed visibly. "Thanks for telling me how you felt about me. I didn't know."

And with that he was gone, running back up the path and up the steps to the house, then inside, stumbling twice on the way.