Page 42 of Someone Else's Wolf

I didn't care if he'd never said the actual words; he'd lied to me all the same. He'd let me think I was the only one, and that he cared for me, even if he had some weird hang-up about words of commitment, loyalty, or feeling for me.

Yeah, I should have been more skeptical — but he'd still lied, and that was all on him.

He followed me out to my car.

Have some dignity, Peter. Couldn't he tell how angry I was? He wasn't going to talk me around. He should stop trying. But I wasn't going to tell him that, because I wasn't speaking to him. If I had tried, I'd have yelled.

"Shane, please stop. I'll explain everything. Just...please, don't go." He touched my sleeve and then stopped. "Please. Shane. Come back into the house. I'll—"

I turned to look at him, opening my mouth to snap at him — and saw the tears in his eyes.

Holy shit. I'd never seen him cry. I squinted at him, my stomach dropping. Was he faking? It sure felt real.

He wasn't being smooth. He was ugly-crying, shaking a little. "Shane, just let me tell you what's up. I didn't think — but okay. I'll tell you."

#

"I don't understand."

My brain had started to buzz. I'd followed him back inside to let him "explain" and "tell me everything" and now he had, but it wasn't registering. I felt like a shockwave had hit and I'd feel it any second, but...what?

"I have a mate." He twisted his hands together and looked down, guilt and sadness in his every feature. "He's in jail. And we're seeing other people."

But you love him. Why would you see other people?I couldn't wrap my head around it. "Why?"

"He thought we should. I didn't see anyone for a long time, because I — I didn't really... I didn't really want to. Till I met you, I guess. Anyway, I was just really drawn to you, okay?"

"Okay. But why didn't you tell me you have a mate?"

"I thought it would be serious enough to — to matter." He looked apologetic. "Besides, he's in for a long time."

"You have a mate, and he's in jail," I repeated. This couldn't be real. It couldn't. "What's he in for?"

"Armed robbery." He bit his lip and looked away. "He's not the, um, the best person in the world. But he's still my mate."

"And it was his idea for you to see other people?" That seemed awfully generous for an asshole. "After he went to jail?"

"Before," Peter said in a very small voice, looking at the floor.

"So, basically, he fucked around, and you stayed faithful." I stared at him.

He twisted his hands together and looked away. A touchy topic, then. Painful, too, by the look of it.

"You must really love him to stay with him despite everything." If I sounded bitter and jealous, it wasn't on purpose. Why did assholes get the good guys?

"He's my mate, that's all," Peter mumbled, still not looking at me. "I don't have a lot of choice in the matter."

"Really?" I stared at him hard, trying to get it.

He shrugged. "Maybe in the beginning. But you don't walk away from your mate once you're together, no matter how he turns out." The pain was old and etched on his face, and he was just now letting me see it.

So that's why you can't love me, can't commit, because no matter how much you like me, you already have someone. You've already met the love of your life and you've basically married him, even though he's a total asshole. I felt dirty and extremely tired.

I sighed. "Thanks for telling me, I guess. I really need to go now."I wish you'd said something sooner. I wish I didn't love you.

"Shane. Please. Can't we stay as we are?"

"Yeah, sure. You've got a mate you couldn't bother to tell me about, you'll never be able to commit, and you couldn't tell me the truth any sooner than this. Why would I stay, again? Because I really can't think of a good reason."