Page 36 of Someone Else's Wolf

I should have thought about that sentence before I finished it. Now it was trailing off into the air, like I was fishing for some acknowledgment. I hadn't meant it to sound like that. Butboyfriend,lover— words like that weren't acceptable, and I wasn't going to say "fuck buddy" like this was nothing. Those might be his words, his view — but it wasn't mine, and I wouldn't pretend.

Instead of making things more awkward, it seemed to brighten his mood. He reached out and lightly chucked the edge of my chin. "You sure are." His eyes were warm again, his smile real.

When he looked at me like that, how was I supposed to breathe? Or take what was between us anything less than seriously?

I cleared my throat. "We should get back. They'll be starting soon."

I kind of wanted to ask what he'd gotten me as a gift, but if it was something sexual, I wouldn't be able to concentrate on the ceremony. It probably wasn't anything like that, but a guy can let his imagination get away from him, and I'd had a couple of days to wonder about the promised graduation present.

"We should." He captured my hands and looked into my eyes, studying me with a great deal of affection. He was so full of shit when he said this wasn't serious. Or else he was the greatest actor alive. Or maybe, just maybe, he had no clue how he affected me. "But, first, I want to show you something."

"Oh, hell, no. If it's another 'special spot' where we can have sex, right before graduation, you'd better think again."

He laughed, sounding embarrassed but pleased as well. "Nothing like that, I promise."

I glanced back at Kirk, who was standing over the gift basket, going through its contents and looking decidedly cheerier than he had when he first saw it. He waved me off, indicating he was okay. The bastard had been listening to every word.

"Okay, then," I agreed.

Peter led me away. I followed, acutely aware of him holding my hand, right out in public.

"It's part of the old assault course they used to make people take. I think — yeah, it's still here. I don't know if this is an old army base or what, but you wouldn't think they'd need a gun tower, would you?"

"Maybe it was a fire lookout?" I suggested. "There are a lot of trees around here."

"Maybe."

We reached it, and he started up the rickety-looking stairs, dragging me with him. The tower didn't look terribly sturdy. I gulped back my concern and tried not to look down. It wasn't a phobia or anything, but I didn't really like heights. Of course I'd never said anything, and he hadn't thought to ask. It probably wouldn't occur to anyone who didn't get a little bit dizzy high off the ground that this tower could be tall enough to be a problem.

We reached the top, and I tried not to think too hard about it. Standing near the railing, he grinned. We had an amazing view of tree-blanketed hills rolling away from us. For a moment, I forgot to be afraid.

"Wow!" I said.

"Yeah. I used to come up here when I wanted to think."

He drew me closer and settled his arms around my waist from behind, leaning in to me. His body felt warm, sturdy, safe. I breathed and studied the trees, and I didn't look down.

"I've been thinking a lot lately," he continued. "It's not really — it's not fair to let you be more invested than I am. You're changing your job and everything. It's not...kind to let you do everything."

He seemed to be picking his words with great care. I settled back against him, wondering if I was dreaming this. He'd noticed, after all. Maybe I would wake up soon and smell the coffee, find it wasn't so.

"So, I wanted to give you this." He fumbled with and slid over my head a house key on a thin cord. It landed right over my heart, and he patted that spot gently.

"Of course you can put it on your keychain, or wherever you want," he added. "I just want you to know, it's not just you. I'm as involved as I can be, and I want to be. Whatever this is, whatever we are to each other — I don't have words for it, and I don't want to force it into words that aren't right. But you matter. This matters.Wematter. So, take my key, and accept my apology for letting you think it didn't."

He kissed me then. I could hardly breathe, and I felt like I was going to start crying any second.

This had to be a dream, right? But I kissed him back anyway.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

There were cancer patients. Lots and lots of cancer patients. Kirk handled himself well, though I know it was a strain.

He showed the better part of valor and let me deal with regulations, red tape, paperwork, and bureaucracy when needed. For the most part, the people we worked with were good to us and very reasonable. We rarely needed to butt heads.

But when anyone was inflexible in a way that would harm a patient, I fought them as politely as possible, and if it passed the point where politeness would work, I got Kirk involved. To everyone's credit, we didn't let that happen often. We rarely had to unleash his hard-headed wrath.

Despite how gorgeous Kirk was, mysterious and ethereal and almost too handsome to look away from, the staff quickly learned that he was the ice king, the guy they'd better not cross. I was the nice one — the "good cop." Ironic, since I was no longer a cop.