Page 84 of Size King

“With all due respect,” he says. “I thought you said you wanted time alone. How are you going to get that if you’re meeting up with someone?”

“It’s not going to go onforever,” I respond childishly. “Really, I’m going to run late, so if you could go please.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I say. “I have plans I forgot about. I don’t mean to just kick you out.”

“It’s fine,” he says. “Whatever you want, missy.”

It shames me to admit it to myself, but at that moment, I want him really bad.

He doesn’t have many things to grab on his way out. He finds his keys on the floor and twirls them in the air, with both of us wondering how this day is going to end.

“You sure you’re okay?” he asks.

“Uh huh.”

“Okay, then,” he says, giving up. “I’m heading out now.”

“Okay,” I say, smiling and hoping he will keep on walking.

“I’ll be around this weekend,” he lets me know. “If you need anything, text or call. I will be there for you, I promise.”

I nod stiffly and stay right where I am without saying another word. He doesn’t fight or try to stand his ground. He walks out my door just as quickly and easily as he entered it. As I hear his car engine rev and then disappear into the sea of cars on the road, I feel that emptiness again more than ever before.

* * *

I want desperatelyto fill the void, and with exceptional timing, Emma helps me to do exactly that. She’s gotten home from Vegas, tan and content after a very successful shoot. I’m ready for her to dish on Vegas, give me some juicy details and stories, and generally keep my mind off of Mason.

First, in order to clear my mind of Mason, I have to talk about him nonstop until I feel totally drained. I’ve been vague with Emma while texting about the developments over the past couple of days, so she has a lot to hear.

Emma comes over to my apartment after she drops her bags off at her place. Once she makes it over to me, I’m ready to burst from all the things I want to delve into—all involving Mason, and all revolving around words spoken and unspoken between us.

Once I reach the point where I feel drained, I tell her about what is freshest on my mind: Mason’s phone conversation, what he said, what we think Luke might’ve been saying, what it all means, and why he might not have told people important to him about the pregnancy.

“It’s probably just his game, anyway,” I speculate. “Meet them, fuck them, and go looking for the next one. I ruined that by getting pregnant.”

“It takes two to get pregnant, darling,” says Emma. “And I don’t think you are just some piece of ass or whatever to him.”

“Right,” I say facetiously. “So, explain the way he was talking earlier.”

“That’s how guys talk, hun,” she says. “They don’t talk about babies or get too emotionally invested in something other than video games or sports. Men are definitely out there, but I think they’re simple compared to us women.”

“That’s just it,” I say. “I want more emotional investment. I know guys don’t get deep or discuss how they’re feeling as much as you and I do. But I figuredsomethingabout the pregnancy would’ve come up during Mason’s conversation with Luke.”

“Maybe they’ve talked about it to death,” she ponders. “I know if I’ve talked about something too much, I eventually don’t want to talk about that thing ever again.”

“I don’t think so,” I say. “I know he didn’t tell him. I know it.”

“Okay, well let’s assume Masondidn’ttell Luke what is going on,” says Emma. “So what? Maybe he wants to keep it private. What’s the big deal?”

“The deal is that nothing is ever going to happen between him and me, baby or not,” I say tearfully. “I knew all of this was too good to be true. I feel so silly for living in such a fantasy the last few days. I’m worse than a teenager.”

“Nothing is worse than a teenager,” says Emma.

“I went from feeling amazing and on top of the world to losing my faith and being treated like a notch on the bedpost,” I rant. “I didn’t expect him to call me hisgirlfriendbut saying I’m only afriendlike that hurts. He probably wants distance.”

“Have you stopped to consider that maybe you’re overreacting a little bit and perhaps are feeling a little bit hormonal?”