Page 82 of Silver Fox Daddies

The will to live.

“A p…pregnancy…”

“Pregnancy tests are on the next aisle over across from feminine hygiene.”

I stagger over there, the small lump in my throat starting to swell.

God, I wish it was tampons I was buying. My period is only a few days late, which isn’t that abnormal—maybe I should wait a little longer, delay the stress.

I take a step back, making for the exit.

“Leaving empty-handed?”

I spring back, finding Natasha smirking behind me.

“Girl—” She raises her hands, confused. “What the hell?”

“I can’t do it.”

Natasha disappears into the aisle and grabs me a test, handing it over to the girl behind the checkout. She balls the receipt up, trashing it, and then hands the box to me.

“You can thank me later when it’s negative.” We exit the CVS through the glass sliding doors, heading to the coffee shop down the street. “You know, once I thought I was pregnant to the point where I actually manifested real, physical symptoms. I had nausea. Even my breasts were sensitive.” She turns to me, tapping her head. “The power of the mind.”

But that’s the difference—Ihaven’tconvinced myself that I’m pregnant. I’ve simply avoided the possibility that I might be.

My heart rate increases the closer we get to the coffee shop. The heat is dry in Vegas, but today I find myself sweating, droplets falling from my brow and down my back.

We enter the coffee shop, the smell of freshly roasted beans sickening my stomach just as expected. I feel the bile getting ready to shoot up my throat.

“Tash.” I shake my head. “I’m gonna puke again.”

“It’s in your head, I’m telling you. And if youarepregnant, we’ll deal with it.” She pats me on the back. “Take the test. Just rule it out.” She guides me to the restrooms, ushering me into a stall.

I’m just ruling it out,I tell myself as I slide the lock across the stall.

Just ruling it out, I tell myself as I unpackage the test, hands trembling.

Just ruling it out.

I slide the cap over the test once finished and fall out of the stall to wash my hands. They’re still shaking.

“Relax.” Natasha presses her hand to my arm. “Whatever happens, I’m here.”

I nod, her words reducing my nerves slightly.

Picking up the test, I stare at the stick, watching as pink liquid starts to rise.

“Leave it a few minutes.” Natasha snatches it out of my hands.

“What am I gonna do if it’s positive?”

“Just…don’t freak out, and know that you have options.”

“My daddy willliterallyrip the thing out of my belly if he finds out.”

“Or, a much simpler procedure—take a pill if you’re under nine weeks.”

Aborting the baby has never occurred to me until now, and I don’t know why.