Page 37

W aking up in my own bed, plastered to Jude’s side, it’s easy to forget, just for a moment, that things are a fucking mess. His hand in my hair has me sighing silently, and I wish I could throw the covers over my head and disappear into our bed, never to be seen again.

I’m tired down to my very bones, but I know there won’t be any type of fulfilling sleep until Dad and Il Padrone are back with us. If they’re even still alive. Every day that passes by gives me more doubts about there being a happy ending to all of this.

Slowly, I sit up, groaning when every muscle in my body protests. As careful and considerate as Ignacio was last night, having sex on a concrete floor is not comfortable, and my body is reminding me of that.

Jude drops his hand from my hair, and I mourn the contact immediately. Sitting properly up, I turn a little to face him. He brings his hand to my chin, to lift my face to his, pressing a chaste kiss to my mouth.

“Okay?” he asks after pulling away.

I nod before signing, “Yes. Tired and sore, but I’m fine. You?”

“Fine. Also tired, but I think that’s how everyone’s feeling right now.”

“Yeah… Where’s Hollis and Ten?”

“Shower. They need the time together.”

“I’m guessing Ten was with Benjamin last night.” He wasn’t in bed when I crawled in at who the fuck knows what time.

Hollis was awake, but I was too exhausted to ask questions. He just helped me get between him and Jude, and that’s the last thing I remember.

“Yeah. They needed to spend some time together after everything that happened. Establishing their relationship was important.”

Stifling a yawn, I ask, “You and Hol get some time last night?”

“A little bit. If you class him putting me on my knees, before sending me to bed, while he waited up for you, as spending time together.”

I grin. “In this case? I would.”

Jude reaches up and brushes some hair from my forehead, his touch soft and comforting. I lean into it, soaking up as much of the softness as I can, because there hasn’t been enough of this lately. Everything has been so upside down that we’ve all barely had a chance to breathe, let alone wake up in the same bed.

“You sure you’re okay, Tesoro Mio?”

“No,” I reply honestly. “I’m not, and I won’t be until we get Dad back, but for now… Yeah, for now, I am. I have you, and Ten and Hollis. I have Lio as well. So…I’ll make do.”

He studies me, those pale green eyes of his searching for something before he slowly says, “And Ignacio?”

Watching Jude fingerspell his name has my heart thumping faster and my breath catches in my throat. I don’t know how to answer him. Luckily, I don’t have to, as the bathroom door opens and our lovers step out.

Tennant comes directly for me, pushing me down onto the bed and ravishing my mouth. When he lets me up for air, I try to drag him back in, but he gives me a look, one that does nothing to calm my rapidly filling cock.

“We need to talk, Little Prince,” he says before moving off the bed.

I gesture to my lap, and my hard cock. “Can we fuck and then talk?”

“No,” Hollis says. “This is too important.”

Sighing, I shift my position a little so all three of them can see my signs. Jude goes to reach for his hearing aids but I stop him, setting my hand on his arm. “No,” I reassure. “It’s okay. Only if you want to, but don’t feel as if you have to.”

He smiles. “I know. I want to. I’m aware I don’t need them, but with everything going on right now, I’ll feel better. Okay?”

Guilt spreads through me as Jude puts his hearing aids in, and uses the app on his phone to adjust them. I know he wouldn’t do anything he wasn’t comfortable with; the past year has helped him accept we’re not his birth family. That doesn’t mean I don’t hate that he feels like he has to accommodate us, rather than the other way around.

Once Jude is finished messing with his hearing aids, I open my mouth to start, only to close it, fear keeping my words lodged in my throat.

What if they hate me? What if what I did wasn’t okay? Just because Hollis and Tennant have their own Martellis, it doesn’t mean I can. I’m not like them, my position in our hierarchy is at the very bottom. I’ve always been safe and secure there, but what if, despite how hypocritical it would be, this rocks the very foundation of us.

I need these three men, more than I need my next breath. They, and Lio, are the only reasons I’ve been able to get through this mess.

“Hey, you need to breathe, Amore.” A hand touches my face as I gasp. “That’s it. Just breathe. You’re okay. I promise, we’re right here with you.”

I open my eyes—when did I even close them?—and stare into Hollis’s. “I…”

“Shhh,” he soothes. “You’re okay, Amore. I promise. Just breathe. You know you can tell us anything, right? We’re here for you.”

Swallowing, I nod, as tears burn the back of my eyes.

Hollis scoops me up, putting me on his lap. He adjusts our position until my ear is pressed against his chest, the rest of my body draped across him. Tennant climbs onto the bed, sitting near Jude’s feet, and grabbing my legs, throwing them over his.

“We’re not mad,” Hollis says. “I’m a controlling bastard, but not an unfair one. You’re allowed to sleep with the Martellis. We’re not judging you for that.”

“I am,” Tennant cuts in. “I don’t care that you fucked one of them, but I am questioning your sanity for the one you chose.” Jude kicks him, but Tennant carries on. “Really, Giocattolo, of all the Martellis up for grabs, you had to go for him .”

“Don’t,” I tell him, my voice low but firm. “Sometimes connections just happen. You know better than most, Ten, considering your relationship with Benjamin.”

His ice blue eyes grow colder as he studies me. “I spent more time with Benjamin to feel our connection. My relationship isn't the problem here. Or is it?” He tilts his head. “Feeling jealous, Little Prince?”

There's a danger to his tone that has me shivering, and Hollis holds me tighter, but he doesn't interfere.

“No,” I sign and voice. “I know you need him, and he needs you. I'm happy if you are. It's not a crime for me to find my own happiness. Maybe. I don't know.”

Pushing away from Hollis, I climb off the bed, too jittery to sit still as I try to work through my thoughts. Panic threatens to overtake me once more, but I shove it away.

“It was more than sex. I… We don't know each other, but the way he felt…the care and consideration…” Biting my lip, I stop at the end of the bed and look at my lovers. “I could see his pain, but it didn't feel as if he was replacing Benjamin with me. I… There was a moment when he looked at me, and it felt like he saw me. And I've only ever had that with the three of you.” My hands shake, but I've run out of words, so I sign, “I don't know what, if anything, will come out of it. But I don't want to pass up whatever it may be. I love you. So fucking much.”

Tears fall down my cheeks as I repeat my I love you . “I don't care that Tennant has Benjamin, or that Hollis is playing with Lio. Hell, I almost want to try to pair Jude up with his own Martelli.”

“Please don't,” Jude voices. “I can find my own lover, thanks. So far, none match my type, except for Emilio and Benjamin, and they both come with too many complications.”

I laugh a little. “Antonio is perfectly twinkish. He’s also a brat from what Lio says. Maybe when his lover is better?”

Jude huffs and rolls his eyes, before making a “get on with it” motion with his wrist.

“Right. Okay.” I take a breath and continue in ASL, thankful to have another language to help get my thoughts across. “I don't know what will happen between Ignacio and me, but I want a chance to try. I just… Despite Tennant and Benjamin, and Hollis allowing us free rein when it comes to the Martellis, I'm still nervous. My insecurities have been running rampant since Dad was taken, and I'm terrified this is the wrong move.”

“As long as it's your choice, and you continue being honest with us, Amore, none of us will have a problem with it,” Hollis tells me.

I give Hollis a small smile, and some of my fears are alleviated just by the sincerity in his eyes and voice. “I want to believe that, I really do.”

“Time will soothe that fear,” Hollis replies. “All we can do is promise to be here when you need us.”

I swallow around the lump in my throat. “I want to try,” I say just loud enough to be heard.

“I support you, Roman,” Tennant says. His use of my name is enough to startle me, and I look into his eyes, seeing the dark promise of violence in them. “But if Ignacio hurts you, I won't apologize for my actions. He already broke one heart, I refuse to stand by while he does it again.”

“Enough,” I say firmly. “I love that you want to protect me, but I'm an adult. This is my choice. I chose you and Hol, I chose Jude, and now I'm choosing Ignacio. You don't have to like it, but I expect you to respect my autonomy.”

“I do, Little Prince. Just…be careful.”

“I am. I have no idea what I'm doing, but I promise, I'm going into this with my eyes wide open.” And my heart, but now isn't the time to say that. Something tells me he knows it anyway.

Hollis stands from the bed and pulls me to him. When I look up at him, he smiles softly. “We'll support you, Amore. We love you, and want you to be happy. If Ignacio makes you happy, well, then we'll navigate it, same as we are Tennant and Benjamin.”

“Speaking of Benjamin,” Jude drawls. “He and Ignacio are exes, and Benjamin still hates you.”

I grimace. “Could have done without that reminder, thanks. Maybe this will help us? We both care about the same two people. Three, if you throw Lio into the mix. He can't ignore that, right? I have to be a good person if everyone he loves loves me, too.”

“See, silver lining,” Hollis teases. He leans down and kisses me gently. “I need to get dressed. Emilio brought some paperwork in last night that had some very concerning information about both the Families. I need to speak to H.”

“Lio—”

Hollis cuts me off. “The time for his concerns has passed. We can trust H. I need him on this. Antonio found documents about our suppliers, stash houses, warehouses, a list of men—both those in our employ, and those on the up and up, legally or not. We've determined the fed is a dead end, but this information is a gold mine.”

“It's not information that's readily available,” Tennant says. “Even if they had a mole or two, that type of information isn't something just anyone would know. Especially for both Families.” He looks at Jude. “You and Benjamin are with me today. We, and Joel, need to do some on-the-ground work with our people. Poke at a few sore spots and see if anything falls out.”

“You're right.” I hug Hollis, using him to ground myself as I think over everything I just learned. “They'd need multiple people in place feeding them information, at least on our side. I don't know how the Martellis are structured. But the only people who would know everything like that are in this room, or Carter and Dad. And none of us are fucking traitors.” I look up at Hollis. “Call H, tell him I don't care what it costs. I want you, H, and Leandro to do what you do best. Follow the paper trail—because there is one. If they're sloppy enough to leave paperwork laying out—in their own home or not—then there's a trail somewhere that can be followed. Find it.”

“I will, Amore. And when I do, I'll bet that if it doesn't lead straight to Cristian and Il Padrone, it'll lead us to the key to finding them.”

As I look into Hollis’s serious but kind dark eyes, a newfound determination fills me, and it feels a lot like hope.

The End…For Now