Page 35

“ Y ou should go to bed, you look as exhausted as I feel,” Jude comments, laying his head on Hollis’s shoulder, but watching me.

Leaning against the desk, I cross my legs in front of me and try to smooth down the wrinkles on my shirt. “We all need sleep, though I don’t think any of us will get it until Roman returns.”

None of us are used to Roman going off on his own. Yes, he has his guards with him, but that doesn’t really mean much when shit keeps hitting the fan at every turn. At the same time, Emilio isn’t very trusting of anyone except Roman right now, so letting him take the puppy out for a little fun and stress relief wasn’t a choice.

“Roman will probably end up sleeping with Emilio anyway,” Hollis says, leaning back in his chair as he reaches up to play with Jude’s hair. “They’ve been joined at the hip since the Martellis arrived.”

I hum in agreement. “It’ll be good for them. They need time to bond, and to rest. If Emilio feels better by Roman’s side, and vice versa, we’re in no position to stop them from doing anything.”

“You think they’ll sleep together?” Jude asks.

Hollis and I exchange a look, and both shake our heads. “Hard to say,” I answer. “Roman can’t give Emilio what he needs, though he’s been down with letting Emilio fuck him since the beginning. But no, not tonight at least. They’re both too exhausted. Too much has happened in the last few days, let alone since the Bosses were taken. A night or two on their own, where they can be with someone who understands the unique position they’re in, will be good for them.”

Hollis laughs and I look at him. He nods towards the monitor showing the torture chamber Emilio and Roman are using. “Well, one of them is about to get well fucked.”

Turning my head, I look at what’s happening on screen and roll my eyes. Chaos is very turned on by watching his Boss torture and kill, and Hollis leans forward to hit a few buttons, splitting the screen into two, so the three of us have a very clear shot of Roman giving the man his heart-eyes.

“Of all the Martellis to moon over,” I say in disgust.

“Ignacio isn’t so bad,” Jude replies. “I’m rather impressed with everything he’s done the last few days.”

“So he’s not completely useless as a weapon, doesn’t mean he’s not a shit boyfriend.”

Hollis sighs. “You’re going to have to figure out a way to work with him. I highly doubt Benjamin will care for your cutting remarks, whether he's broken up with him or not.” I roll my eyes, but Hollis doesn’t pay me any mind. “If Roman is going to be busy getting his own Martelli, I think you should go check on yours. He’s been scarce since they arrived. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there’s a distance between him and Emilio now.”

I’ve noticed. You can’t not notice how far apart those two are. It's a stark difference from when you couldn’t tell where Benjamin ended and Emilio began. Now, the emotional chasm between them is like the distance between the Earth and Sun.

“He’s right,” Jude says. “The last time you and Benjamin were together was, well… You almost killed him. And he said he loved you. There’s a lot there to unpack between the two of you. Us four, we’re fine.

“I know I had my hang-ups at the beginning, but the more time I’ve had to think about it, about the outcome of that day… I understand now. You need to foster whatever those feelings are between the two of you, before they get lost under the shitstorm we’re wading through. Or let him down gently, if you've already got what you wanted.”

“I’m not done with him,” I reply firmly. “I didn’t go seeking Benjamin out, not for sex or a relationship, or anything… But I won’t throw what we’re building away either.”

“Then tell him that. He needs someone in his corner.”

“Jude’s right,” Hollis cuts in. “Losing Ignacio was one thing, but Emilio? That’d be like if I lost you, Ten. It’s a pain I cannot fathom. So go, we’ll wait for Roman to get home and either put him to bed with us, or tuck him and Emilio into his bedroom. You can spend some time with Benjamin.”

Pushing away from the desk, I kiss Jude, savoring his touch and taste. “The next time we have a moment to spare, I’m going to fuck you, just like Chaos is fucking our toy right now.”

His pale green eyes light up with amusement. “Promises, promises.” He kisses me again, hard and fast, before gently shoving me away.

Turning to Hollis, I urge him out of his chair, ignoring the protest Jude lets out as he sits up from leaning on our lover. Holding Hollis in my arms, I hover my lips over his. “Non ti merito.”

He grins, sliding his hands down my chest. “You really, really don’t. But I love you anyway. Always. Stiamo meglio insieme—that means all of us. Go make sure your boyfriend is okay.”

“Do you know where he is? As you said, he’s been making himself scarce. I haven’t seen him since Roman and Emilio decided to go on their little outing.”

“His room, I think? I know he hung out with Soren and the docs for a bit, but last I checked, he was upstairs.”

“Thank you.” I kiss him, slow and deep, and all-consuming.

Hollis holds onto me like he never wants to let go, but I know he will, so I hold him just a little tighter, because I know none of this would be possible without him. When he pulls back, he smiles, and his dark brown eyes are full of a love and affection I don’t deserve, but will never let go of.

“Thank you,” I say again, knowing he’ll understand all the things I mean by it.

“I love you, Ten. Anything I can give you, I will.”

Pressing another soft kiss to his lips, I finally let him go. For the first time, in all the years we’ve been together, I think I understand what it means when Hollis says those three words, and the feeling it gives leaves a…strange completeness behind in my chest.

Without thinking too hard about the new experience, I give them both one more kiss, and Hollis a warning to not work too hard, then leave the office.

U pstairs, I knock on the door to the guestroom that quickly became Benjamin’s. I almost want to ask Roman how he feels about moving Benjamin to the family wing of the house, but I also think it suits to have him separate from it.

He’s not an Amato, though if Emilio keeps pushing him away, I’m not sure how much longer that’ll be true. At the same time, he’s part of us because of his connection to me. There will be time to figure it all out, this is new to all of us. Besides, with Emilio being so…anti-Amato right now, who knows if Benjamin will even get to enjoy his new bedroom for long before being dragged home again.

The thought makes me want to take the young Boss to task for being unfair to his so-called best friend’s feelings, but Hollis would kill me if he knew I had that type of death wish.

The door opens to a very defeated looking Benjamin, though he perks up a little when he sees me. “Are Lio and Roman back already? Sorry, I just…I needed a minute away to think, and didn’t know where else to go…”

“Hush, Topolino, you’re fine. No, they’re not back yet. Don’t worry, they’ll be in touch if we’re needed. You’re welcome to use this room whenever you want, though we can move you to a bigger, better one, if you want?”

“I…no. I don’t want to be an imposition.”

Stepping into his space, I force him to back up into the room. When we’re both on the other side of the threshold, I close the door behind me, flicking the lock.

“You’re not. You’re mine, Benjamin. And that means you have certain rights here.”

He grimaces. “But I’m not, am I?” He lifts his chin, showing off his fading bruises. “You have Roman, and Jude, and Hollis—who reminds me a little too much of Il Padrone, if I’m being honest. Though with Allesandro, at least I know where I stand.”

I tilt my head as I listen to him and begin undressing, tossing my jacket and tie over the dresser, before undoing my shirt buttons. “Do you not trust when I say that if Hollis wasn’t on board, we wouldn’t be here?”

“I don’t share,” he replies firmly.

I raise an eyebrow as I shrug out of my shirt. “I believe you shared your ex with Il Padrone, and all the other Boys. He shared you too, no? I know the Martelli ways. You share Emilio with his fiancé.”

“That’s different,” he insists.

“Is it? Enlighten me, Topolino.”

“I know where I stand with Allesandro. He allows me to have Lio because he knows Lio needs—needed me. Ignacio isn’t in love with Allesandro, none of the Boys, aside from Lio, are. He saved them, shaped them, and gave them a home—a family. They’re loyal to him because he made it so. What you have with Hollis and the others…I can’t compete with that. I won’t .”

Toeing off my shoes and socks, I kick them out of the way, then shuck off my pants, folding them and placing them on top of my already folded shirt. Turning back to Benjamin, I reach for him. “You’re wearing far too many clothes. Strip and I’ll tell you all the reasons why you’re wrong.”

Grabbing my gun, and one of my knives, I carry them both to the bed while Benjamin stares at me. Setting the weapons within easy reach on the nightstand, I stretch out on the bed, leaning against the headboard.

“We need to talk, Benjamin, and I want to be comfortable doing it—so lose the clothes.”

He lets out a shaky breath, but quickly undresses, taking as much care with his own suit as I did with mine. Every inch of skin that’s revealed gets my blood heated, but I stamp that down. Sex can come later, there are far more important things we need to be doing right now.

Benjamin climbs onto the bed and I pull him onto my lap, forcing him to face me. He sets one hand on my shoulder, while the other settles lower on my arm. He stares at the still-bandaged wound from where Emilio stabbed me.

“It’s fine,” I assure him. “It's healing. Doc says it should be good as new soon, it barely even hurts now. Though I’m supposed to see Jayden once Doc gives the okay, to make sure it’s in working order.”

Benjamin traces the edge of the bandage with a fingertip. “I can work with you,” he says. “I should help you heal from this. After all, it’s my fault you were hurt in the first place.” He looks at me, his sea green eyes filled with sadness. “I’m sorry. I knew Lio was protective, I just… I didn’t think…”

Setting my hands on his hips, I squeeze them gently. “It’s not your fault. You’re not responsible for someone else’s actions. I understand. I might not appreciate getting stabbed, but he was just trying to protect you.” I give a quirk of my lips. “Much like I was when I rushed in there. I didn’t like how he talked to you. Has it been like that since?”

He shrugs. “He’s… Lio doesn’t handle emotions well, and I kind of stomped all over his. He’s angry with me, and a bit…distraught. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried talking to him. I thought we were getting somewhere, but, well…it all went to shit so quickly. And it’s been one thing after another since, so we haven’t gotten a chance again.”

“Do you regret it?” I reach up and trace the bruises still lining his throat.

He immediately shakes his head. “No. Not one second of it. I love you, Nocciola. There was never a doubt in me that I was doing the right thing.”

I huff a laugh at the stupid endearment. “I’m a dangerous man, Topolino. Even when I’m not running high on anger and fresh off my leash. You’ve seen Hollis’s scar.”

“It’s hard to miss such prominent teeth marks on the front of someone’s throat,” he says softly.

I trace my fingers gently down his throat, to his collarbone and below, stopping at his heart. “I did that, not because I was upset over the injustice done to either of us, but because the monster I am wanted to see him bleed. I could have—no, I wanted to kill him.”

“But you didn’t,” he points out. He moves a hand to my heart, splaying it out across my chest and pressing firmly against it, as if he can touch the muscle underneath the skin. “You love him; you wouldn’t hurt him like that.”

I give him my best grin. “I think about killing Roman every single day. One day, I might, simply because the little shit will deserve it. Emilio has a right to worry. You should be terrified of me, Benjamin.”

He leans in, mouth hovering over mine as he says, “The only thing I’m scared of is being without you. You’re mine , Tennant.”

I lean forward and kiss him, biting at his lips until I taste blood, moaning when he does the same and the blood flows between us, entwining and making us one as we share saliva and blood.

Pulling away, I grip his hair, digging my fingers into his flesh with my other hand. The cry he lets out as I mark him is beautiful, and my cock hardens.

“You said it yourself, Topolino, you don’t share. But I don’t think you’ve realized the liberties you’ve been given.”

“I don’t share. I know you have a fucking harem with Hollis, and it grates that I can’t have you like that. I won’t fuck anyone else just to have you—especially not when one of those people is Roman.”

I grip his hair tighter, forcing his head back a little more and making sure his eyes are on mine. “I don’t want you to. You’re mine as well, not anyone else’s. I don’t care who you fuck, you will never not be mine. What you and I have, it’s different than any of my other relationships. Not just for sex, or the stupid feelings you bring out in me, but the way you stood up to me. How you faced my monster head on and didn’t care about the consequences. I can’t let you go now.”

“I just wanted you to be okay,” he says softly.

“Only one person has ever been brave—and stupid—enough to do that for me. Hollis would have stopped me from making things worse legally—or from getting myself killed—but nobody else could have stopped me in my tracks. Not from lack of want, but when I’m like that…no one can get through. No one except Cristian, and now you. The only two people dumb enough, and with a big enough death wish, to take what I can give.”

“I’m honestly surprised Hollis can’t do that for you.”

There’s a bitterness in his tone, and I give his hair a bit of a tug. “It’s not what I need from him. Hollis is my rock. He makes me human; him and his emotions, and steadying presence. When I first met him, I enjoyed the way he didn’t take my shit, even over the phone. When we met in person, he kidnapped me.” I smile at the memory. “He’s always taken what he wanted when it came to me, and showed me that it was possible to have someone. I never wanted a relationship before him.”

Benjamin’s features soften a little, but there’s still a wariness in his eyes that tells me I have work to do in order to get him to understand how this can work between us.

“When Roman came into our lives…it was unexpected. We didn’t need or want him, but one day, he went from being the tiny baby that Cristian and I took turns staying up all night with, to the sassy but bright teen, to a barely-legal adult with an attitude problem. I know you don’t like him, but under the arrogance, under the emotional unsteadiness, is an intelligent and sometimes quick-witted person who just wants to be loved. He’s much like your Emilio. I think, once you get used to him, you’ll find you like him.”

He snorts, but I slide my hand that was on his chest down to his hip again and give him a squeeze. I don't need him and Roman to be BFFs, but they'll have to find their way eventually.

Continuing with my explanation, I say, “Jude was another unexpected twist. Leandro found him by accident. And yes, we all ignore that my son introduced us.” Benjamin grimaces, and when I quirk a brow at him, he shakes his head.

“Just… Leandro being your son means…”

I laugh a little. “Think of it this way, you're at least older than him by a few years. Roman is only one year older than him. They have fun with it—well, Roman does. But yes, he technically has four step-parents. Though, if we're honest, Hollis is more of a father to him than I am.”

It's not as if I can explain why the whole adoption thing happened in the first place. Hiding Leandro from De Luca, and everyone else outside the main Family, is getting harder the older he gets, as his resemblance to Carter, and therefore, Julian De Luca, becomes more pronounced. But, that is not my story to tell. When Leandro is ready to take back his birthright, that is something he and Carter can explain.

“Anyway, what I'm saying is, you all bring something out in me. All in unexpected ways. But only you and Cristian can withstand the eye of the storm and live to tell about it.”

“I’m glad I could do that for you. I saw you spiraling and I just… I couldn’t lose you. I love you too much to allow you to do something stupid.”

Using my grip on his hair, I drag his mouth to mine, kissing him softly. “Thank you. And this is why I need you, Benjamin. You’d rather put yourself in danger than watch a loved one suffer.”

He flinches, and I see the nerve I hit, but I push forward.

“I hope you can see that you’re not sharing me, not really. Sharing implies you only get pieces of me, or you only have all of me when nobody else is around. And that’s not it at all. You’re a part of me every second of every day, Amore. Luce della mia vita, you and Hollis, Roman, and Jude are what I live and breathe for. Don’t doubt your importance in my life, simply because you’re not my one and only.”

Sliding both hands across his soft skin, I enjoy the way he shivers in my arms.

“I’m not monogamous, Benjamin. I was for Hollis, and if I had met you first, I would have been for you. That’s not how it happened, though. Would you deny me the care and affection I get from my lovers?”

He closes his eyes and bites at his lip before shaking his head. “I need you to be mine. But…you were willing to accept Ignacio’s place in my heart, weren’t you?”

I nod. “I never would have made you choose.”

“I don’t like it.”

“Noted. But I like you, and them, so we’ll make it work. Okay? Talk to Hollis. I think he can give you some good insights. He can help you in ways I can’t. He understands all the emotional bullshit. I’m just here to do what makes me feel good.” I drag him closer, thrusting my hips up a little so he can feel my growing cock. “And you just so happen to make me feel good.”

He moans and tries to shift on me, but I hold him still. “Are you sure Hollis won’t try to kill me? I kind of fell head over heels in love with you, and he’s as possessive as I am.”

I laugh. “No, he respects the hell out of you. You’re not like Roman and Jude. You’re not someone we’re opening our lives and hearts to. Just my life, my heart. You’re a piece of me, but not a piece of the whole—that doesn’t make you any less, though. Talk to him, he can help you wrap your head around things. And…you two have a little more in common than you think.” He gives me an incredulous look. “I can’t tell you much, as it’s not my story to tell, but…he might show you his scars, if you show him you’re willing to listen.” Physical and metaphorical. Hollis is lightyears better than he was, but I know his past still haunts him. I can see it in his eyes sometimes, after a long day, when his guard is down, or after a nightmare.

“I still have nightmares,” he says softly, running his hands up and down my chest, stopping to tweak my nipples and grinning when I groan. “There’s still fear sometimes, and anxiety… It’s better, you’ve helped make it better, and made me stronger, but…I’m not cured.”

I shake my head and kiss him gently, first on the cheek, then the mouth, taking my time with him. “There is no cure for something like that. There’s survival, and there’s moving forward, proving to yourself, and anyone who ever hurt you, how much stronger you are. You’re brave, Benjamin, for living through what you did and not letting it change you fundamentally.” He shakes his head, but before he can protest, I place two fingers over his mouth.

“You didn’t. You’re kind, and loyal, and far too good for me. I highly doubt you would be here with me right now if you allowed that fucker to win. So you have scars, who in this life doesn’t? You’re here, and I will continue to help build you up, so if you’re ever in that position again, you don’t have to be afraid.”

Tears fall down his cheeks, and I gently remove his glasses to wipe them away. “I’m so tired of being afraid.”

Settling his glasses back into place, I say, “I know, Amore. My poor Baby Mouse, you’ve spent so long trying to recover alone, but you’re not anymore. Io ho te. Te lo prometto.”

He gives me a watery smile. “Will you teach me Italian? I’d like to know what you’re saying. Not just you, but all the Amatos—you use it far more than we do.”

“Of course. I think it’s important for you to learn. It’s how we stay connected, not only to each other, but to those who came before us. Plus, it’s great to have while in public; some matters aren’t for innocent ears. Though we have ASL for that as well, and LIS.”

“Do I need to know Italian Sign, too?”

“No, you don’t. Cristian is a polyglot. He picks up languages like he does a glass of his favorite whisky. With Jude and Donovan both coming into the Family, he thought it prudent we learn LIS as well. I believe the trips and Soren are teaching him Russian Sign, but nobody else, aside from Doc, cares about that. Anyway, I will teach you whatever you want to know, Topolino.”

He laughs. “You go from a sweet endearment back to a freaking mouse?”

I shrug. “It fits you. Such a sweet baby mouse, and all for me.”

Benjamin lets out a shuddering breath as I slide one hand up to the back of his neck, holding onto his ass with the other. “Yeah…yours.”

This time when we kiss, we don’t stop. Rolling us over, I pin Benjamin to the bed, enjoying the way he arches and moans. “I’m going to mark you—permanently. Show the whole world you’re mine.”

“Yeah…yes,” he whispers, arching his hips and baring his neck to me.

With a grin, I reach into the nightstand drawer for the lube. Benjamin spreads his legs and plants his feet, giving me easy access to his hole.

“Don’t prep me too much,” he begs with a shaky voice. “I want to feel you.”

“Giving demands now, Topolino?”

“Whatever will get you in me, yes!”

“Good thing I want that as much as you do.” Shoving two wet fingers into him, I barely lube him up before retreating.

I use more lube on my cock, and then hold him still so I can push in. Benjamin moans, his hands reaching for me and tugging at my flesh, digging his nails in and making me gasp in pleasure.

“So fucking tight for me. So hot and slick, and mine ,” I mutter, inching my way in deeper.

He thrusts his hips up, and while I’d normally shove him down, to remind him of who’s in charge, I like it when he’s demanding and begs for what he needs.

Reaching for my knife, I sit back once I’m all the way inside him, bringing him onto my lap. Benjamin moans as my cock goes in even deeper. “Hold very still, Topolino,” I say. “I don’t want to accidentally hurt you.”

He blinks long lashes up at me, and his eyes are full of affection that wasn’t there the last time we did this—this is more, we can both feel it. “I trust you,” he says.

I grin. “Oh, Baby Mouse, you shouldn’t.”

With that, I hold his right leg down, and just above his hip, I cut into his flesh. He cries out in pain, and his body jerks, but I hold him down tightly as I dig in deep with the knife. Much like when Hollis marked Jude last year, I very carefully carve my initial into Benjamin’s flesh. Deep enough to need stitches, but the scar it’ll leave behind is so pretty already.

“I can’t wait to kiss this spot,” I tell him, gently swiping my fingers through his blood and bringing them to my mouth, savoring the taste of him.

Tossing the knife back onto the nightstand, I change position again, making him cry out at the sudden shift, and the pain from the cut as I jerk his legs up, holding them against my sides as I loom over him.

With my dick still deep in him, I begin fucking him, slowly, gently, giving us what we’ve both needed since Emilio tore us apart.

“Fuck, Tennant…” Benjamin grabs a fistful of my hair and brings my mouth down to his.

We share the lingering taste of his blood between us and he spurs me on, locking his legs around me and lifting his hips into mine, forcing me to fuck into him faster and harder.

“Just like this,” I tell him. “We can have it just like this, Amore.”

His breath hitches. “Ye–yeah. Yes, please.”

Getting my knees underneath me, I fuck him just a bit harder, as I dip my head, kissing along his throat and collarbone until I fine the perfect spot. Right along the edge of his collarbone, easy enough to hide—or show off—depending on the shirt, I bite him, digging in and letting the blood flow into my mouth. I bite him as hard as I did Hollis—just without the side effect of almost killing him.

Locking my teeth into the spot, so I can be sure it’ll scar, I fuck into him over and over as he moans, screams, and writhes underneath me. The sounds of his torment, the way his body clenches around me, the taste and scent of his blood, it has my orgasm barreling through me faster than I would normally want, but I can’t stop it.

Pulling back, I grab his hands and shove them above his head, threading our fingers together as I thrust into him over and over, taking and giving what I want.

“Come on my cock, Topolino,” I say. “Or don’t come at all.”

Benjamin cries out, his body arching into mine. His hole spasms around me and I come, which seems to set Benjamin off, as it only takes a few more deep thrusts before he’s coming between us. Shoving myself deep in him, I hold my still-hard dick there, listening to his harsh breathing.

With one hand, I reach down and fist his cock, getting a few more spurts of cum from him before he’s shaking his head and trying to squirm away.

“Shh,” I say gently. “You’re okay.”

As my dick begins to soften, I pull out and look down at him, enjoying the sight of his body covered in both blood and cum. “You’re so perfect, Amore. So very perfect, and mine.”

He opens his eyes, fixes his glasses, and smiles. “You’re wrong; you’re mine.”

Leaning down, I lap up the blood, first from the mark on his hip, and then the one on his collarbone. “I am, and you’re wearing the proof on your body.”

Laying next to him, I pull him to me, our sweaty, sticky flesh connecting from head to toe. We should clean up, but this, the connection we get from just being together, is far more important. If this is what it takes to get Benjamin to trust that I mean what I say, I’ll stay here for as long as possible. Because I’m not letting him go. Bosses, ex-fiancés, and assholes trying to tear our Families apart be damned.

The Baby Mouse is mine, forever.