Page 15

“ W ell, you’ll live,” Doc says after bandaging the wound on my shoulder.

“You don’t have to sound so sad about that, Doc,” I tell him.

“Tennant,” Hollis admonishes.

Doc laughs at the idea of me being in trouble, and it takes all of my frayed control to not shoot the bastard. Thankfully, he’s finally finished cleaning me up, and begins his wound care spiel, which I can tune out since I know the drill already.

“Am I going to be kicked out of my office again?” Doc asks when he’s finally finished.

“For a few minutes,” Hollis replies. “We need to have a talk .”

Doc grumbles, but Soren begins to lead him out the door. “Take as long as you need,” the younger man says.

“Wait! My book!” Doc goes over to his desk and picks up a paperback, before leaving me alone with Hollis, Roman, and Jude.

As soon as the door is closed, Hollis turns to me. His dark eyes are hard and there's an edge to his voice I haven’t heard before. “What happened?”

Shit. Maybe Doc should have stayed, this isn’t going to be pretty.

I don’t look away from his dark gaze, knowing if I give even an inch, he’ll give me a matching wound. “I was slipping. You and I both know my control is shit without Cristian. Being arrested, having those bastards act as if they’re better than me…it pushed me too far off the ledge. Benjamin saw that and took matters into his own hands.”

“You almost killed him,” Roman bursts out, jumping from the chair he’s sitting in. Jude tries to reach for him, but he evades his hands. “No.” He looks at Jude, then to Hollis, before glaring at me. “You may have just fucked up any partnership we could have had with the Martellis. They were becoming more than just our allies. Lio and I are friends, for fuck’s sake. And you ruined it, all because you can’t fucking help yourself!”

“Roman!” Hollis reprimands. “That’s enough.”

“Let him get it out, Tesoro. The boy has something to say, so he should say it.”

Tears fall down Roman’s cheeks. “Damn right I have things to say! You fucked up! We were getting somewhere in our partnership, because we were all on the same page, and we’re far stronger together, but you had to ruin it. For once, I felt like I had a handle on this leadership thing, but if I can’t even keep my own partner in line, what good am I? We’ll be lucky if they ever talk to us again.”

“He loves him,” Hollis cuts in. His voice is still level, but there's a hardness to it that speaks with such conviction it makes all of us look at him.

“You’re saying Tennant almost killed Emilio Martelli’s Second because he loves him.” The disbelief in Jude’s voice is warranted.

Hollis shrugs. “Yes.” The seriousness in his gaze when he meets my eyes takes my breath away, and makes me glad I’m already sitting down. “He almost killed me to show me my place in his life. He uses Roman for his pleasure to do the same thing, and he allows you to challenge him with only a sore ass or mouth as a repercussion,” Hollis explains. “Benjamin seems to be the perfect mix of all of us. When I gave Benjamin to you, I expected you to have your fun. I didn’t expect you to want to keep him, but I’m adaptable. After all, you don’t ask me for things. I was happy to let you have a boyfriend because I knew where you belonged. Now…”

Hollis moves over to me and tilts my head back, forcing me to show my throat. “You love hard, Ten. Even if you don’t know it, because love is one emotion you refuse to get an understanding of.”

I scowl. “It’s stupid brain chemistry.”

Hollis gives me an indulgent smile. “Maybe. But it also allowed you to fall for the last person you were supposed to.” He leans down, his lips a hair’s breadth from mine as he says, “It’s beautiful watching you be with someone who can bring you to your knees.”

I’d protest…except we both know he’s right. Feelings don’t mean much to me, or make much sense unless I allow them to. Love means even less. I know where I stand with the three men in this room, and I thought I knew what was going on with Benjamin. It was only supposed to be some fun while I trained him. And then…

“He has so much to give. I admire his loyalty to Emilio, even more that he was willing to throw it all away for me—knowing how much of a sacrifice that was for him. He’s a great student, which only makes me want to teach Chaos a lesson even more, because how dare he leave him floundering for so long. And…” I take a breath and look straight into those dark eyes that have ensnared me from the very beginning. “He reminds me of you, Tesoro.”

Hollis raises an eyebrow, though his impassive expression never changes. “Me?”

“He’s been hurt, brutally. But he didn’t give up, and still hasn’t. He’s pushed himself to be better: for his Family, his best friend, himself. He’s let me tear him down and build him up, and there’s so much potential in him. I want to help him redirect the pain he’s in. I can see it, that concealed rage and need to be better, to want to take on anything and everyone, because like hell will someone touch him again.

“I’m not sure if he’s aware of it, though. If he knows how much of a stranglehold what happened with Jax still has on him. You’re not so different, Hol. You had longer to process and deal with what happened to you, and the way those feelings manifested in you are very different to how they’re manifesting in Benjamin, but I see it, and I want to help.”

The same way I was able to give myself over to Hollis, and be what he needed when he was dealing with the shit that bastard Bradley did to him, I want to be the same for Benjamin.

Hollis’s expression softens a fraction and he gentles his touch, threading his fingers through my hair before leaning in to kiss me. “You’re a good man, Ten.” I scoff but he ignores me. “You are . Thoughtful and caring, and we are so lucky to have you. So is Benjamin, even if his best friend doesn’t think so.”

“He was protecting Benjamin from me. Emilio was angry, yes, but I saw his face, he was hurt. I don’t know what was said before the yelling and stabbing happened, but he was more hurt than pissed at Benjamin’s condition. At least until he got his knife in me,” I say wryly.

Hollis huffs but releases me, before backing up and grabbing Roman, who is still glaring at me. The boy lets Hollis pull him close, and though he doesn’t relax, he does accept the comfort our lover brings.

“He was protecting Benjamin,” I say again. “I would have done the same thing. Hell, I came in here because I wanted to protect him.”

“Probably best not to tell Lio that,” Roman says. “He’ll just love knowing you think Benjamin needs protecting from him.” He frowns and then adds, “Or do. I’d love to see what he does to you next.”

“Enough,” Hollis says.

I shake my head. “It’s fine, Hol. I understand that he’s pissed. He’s right when he says that the parameters of our relationship with the Martellis have changed now, though that happened long before today.” I gesture to Hollis and then myself. “We’ve both developed deeper relationships with one of the Martellis, the lines have been blurred since the beginning. I just… I’ve found myself caring for Benjamin, more than I thought I would. He brings out a different side of me, one I didn’t realize I had—or needed.”

Hollis was right, Benjamin is the perfect mix of all three of my lovers. He is also very much uniquely him, giving and taking things I didn’t know I needed or had to offer. It’s more than just him being forbidden fruit, too. His position with the Martellis shows he has what it takes to live in this world, and his previous relationship means he’s not afraid of people like me. He is willing to give me his all, simply because he wants me to be the best version of myself.

His “I love you,” may have been unspoken, but I read the words on his lips, and saw the truth in his eyes as he went under. It’s what saved his life. Because who else, aside from four vastly distinctive men, would willingly love a monster?

“So what are we going to do?” Jude asks. “Lines being blurred and loose is one thing, but Roman is right, you’ve changed the game now.”

“First, I’m going to punish the puppy for touching what’s mine,” Hollis says darkly.

Roman turns in his arms. “Because that’ll help the situation.”

Hollis looks down at the boy, his expression unchanging, though I can see his muscles flex as he holds Roman tighter. “Emilio was out of line for touching Tennant. I don’t care if he thought he was doing the right thing, or if he was too out of his mind to really think of the consequences of his actions—that’s worse, actually. Tennant being unstable is one thing, we can handle it, especially since it seems Benjamin helped put things to rights, but we do not need another loose cannon. Especially if Emilio is unwilling to let me help him temper that fire.”

I nod. “I would still like to burn the police station to the ground, but the actual impulse is now a low simmer rather than a burning need we have to be wary of.”

“Emilio needs to be put in his place. He’s going to be suffering without Il Padrone, and while it’s not the same, we’ve been building a relationship that will hopefully help him. I won’t touch him until he’s calmer, as I know nothing will help until then. I am not his Master, so his state of mind matters; lest we make it worse. But he will be punished. There are consequences for touching what’s mine, and he should know that.”

“He could cut ties with us,” Jude points out. “If he believes Benjamin is in danger.”

I shake my head. “He wants Benjamin to be happy and fulfilled. Taking him away from what makes him so—especially after the heartbreak he just endured—would be contradictory to that. If Emilio wants to challenge me, in order to allow Benjamin and I to continue seeing each other, I welcome it.”

I need a challenge, and the Martelli Boss would be an excellent one. When he’s not too pissed off or emotional to see sense. I held myself back from hurting him because I knew he wasn’t in the right state of mind, and the last thing Benjamin needed was for me to hurt his best friend…but if he wants to have a go at it when he has all his wits about him… I won’t have to be asked twice.

“You really think Benjamin will want to continue after you almost killed him?” Roman asks.

I raise a brow and look to the arms currently holding him close. He huffs and rolls his eyes before grumbling, “Fair point. He’s as crazy as Hollis is, which is surprising, but I respect him a little more for it.” He glares at me. “But if this fucks up my friendship with Lio, I’m going to be pissed.”

“Give him time, Tesoro Mio,” Jude tells him. “He just experienced his personal nightmare. Let him and Benjamin settle again before reaching out.”

Roman looks at me with eyes full of tears, even as he nods at Jude’s words. “I hope so. We’ve been so busy, and drowning in our own shit, we haven’t really talked, and this, well… I don’t have any other friends, apart from Leandro. I need him.”

Sliding off the bed, I take Roman from Hollis. “You’ll have him,” I reassure. “Just let him stew in his emotions for a moment. Imagine it was one of us in the situation, how would you feel?”

Roman shudders in my arms before finally nodding. “I know you’re right. I just… Everything is already so fucked up, I can’t lose him, too.”

I lean down to kiss him. “You won’t.”

Roman clings to me, and I glance at Hollis, the look in his eyes tells me he also hopes I didn’t just lie to the boy.