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W hen Keegan leaves, the quiet rushes back. It’s unbearably stifling. I’m not sure what to do, or how to reach my best friend. How do I express to him that I still love him? That I didn’t mean to hurt him? Fuck. The consequences of my actions…

Clearing my throat, I jump into it. “Lio, I am extremely sorry I hurt you. I do love you, very much. With everything we’ve been through, there’s nobody else I’d rather have at my back, as a best friend.”

A small sniffle echoes in the quiet, and my heart breaks. Getting up, I walk over to Lio and sit next to him. I draw him into a hug, refusing to let go when he fights it. Lio doesn’t cry. Yet, I did this—and I have no idea how to fix it.

“Why? Why did you…?” Lio’s voice is as rough as mine, despite me being the one wearing the bruises. Then again, bruises of the heart may be invisible, but they hurt just as much.

Sighing, I try to think of a way to explain this. I don’t even understand it fully myself. “Fuck. I’ll try to explain, but…some of this can’t be. Remember when you came back from being kidnapped by Peter? And things were really fucked up?”

He finally glances at me, gritting out, “Your point?”

“You went through hell, and had a hard time bouncing back—understandably. But it was to the point where Allesandro had to help you through, uh…unconventional means. You obviously didn’t skip off into the sunset with all happiness, sparkles, and rainbows, but you started to work through things.”

Lio doesn’t say anything, but I can tell he’s at least listening, so I carry on. “Now, when I was captured and tortured by Jax…you were there for me. You’ve always been there for me. However, that doesn’t mean the nightmares stopped. Or the anxiety.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lio leans into me finally and I breathe out a sigh of relief.

“Because I didn’t want to admit it. Especially with Ignacio acting so weird around me. Anything I did that seemed dangerous, he stepped in as if I couldn’t handle it. I was worried you’d be the same. Until you made me your Second.”

“Fucker,” he growls. “You should know better. We talked about you being my Second. That never changed. I’ve always believed in you.”

Snorting, I snuggle closer to him. “My own fiancé didn’t seem to trust me.”

“But I’ve always been better than him! You know that! Why have friendship rules if you’re not going to use them!” He pushes me away, but I roll my eyes at him.

“Friendship rules exist, but romantic relationships happen. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re more important…just different. Remember when we first met? It was because you stepped in front of a bullet for Allesandro. This was much the same.”

“How was this the same?” Lio’s voice is deadly, and I know I’m facing an uphill battle on this. He’s not going to be inclined to accept the truth.

“Tennant was devolving. He was going to do something reckless, dangerous. I could tell with one look that he wasn’t holding it together. So yes, I offered to let him channel that emotional storm through me.” I pause, trying to come up with words when there aren’t any. “He believed in me. That… It was unimaginable after everything. The fact that he wanted to train me to be better? It was more than I ever expected to get from him. So yes, I fell for him, and when I saw him hurting, I wanted to fix it. Did I suspect he’d try to kill me? Not really. I knew he was dangerous, but I needed him to calm down enough to still be effective. The rage burning through him… Fuck, if you could see it the way I did? There was no question of jumping in front of it.”

Lio stiffens and shakes his head. “I don’t care if he was going to burn the world and himself down. You put yourself at risk. And I will never accept that—or those fucking Amatos. We will get this taken care of and then they’re gone.”

“Lio, that’s not how it works. I have feelings for Tennant. You’ll need to accept that. And you’re friends with Roman. Plus, whatever the fuck you have going on with Hollis.”

Lio stands up and faces me. His expression is blank, and I know that I’ve lost him. “No. You’re mine. I regret letting you get close to that fucking psychopath. As for Roman and Hollis? I don’t give a shit. I’m done. They don’t exist to me anymore. You want friendship rules? Well, here’s mine. You don’t put some asshole above your best friend.”

Fear floods my system, and I don’t know what to do. He’s my best friend, but Tennant… Tennant has come to mean so much to me. He’s the balm to my heart, the monster that crushes the ones in my head, and the strength I need to walk forward.

Lio… Lio has always been there for me. He’s the one who held me while I tried to pull myself together, the one who hasn’t let me down. At least, until now. What he’s asking of me… I may as well be cut to pieces, my soul tattered, and my heart ripped from me. How do I choose between the two people I love so deeply?

We stay in silence, his harsh breathing filling the room, when suddenly, Keegan bursts through the door. Both of us jump at the interruption to our stalemate. He glances between us and scowls when it’s clear the tension hasn’t abated. Throwing up his hands, he turns to Lio.

“You need to get to the fucking door. Cops are here. They’ve got a search warrant.”

“Shit. We knew this could happen. Call Jenna. I want her here to make sure they don’t

do anything they shouldn’t,” Lio says to Keegan, running his hand through his hair. Shifting his attention to me, he sneers with a coldness I’ve never had directed at me. “Make yourself useful, contact Hollis. He said something about a kill-switch for Leandro, in case this happened. You’ve already tried to give your life to them, the least they can do is help us.”

Lio strolls out and I stare at him, my mouth hanging open in disbelief. Keegan sighs deeply. “You couldn’t come to a truce? Not even for the good of the Family?”

“I thought we were…” I stare at Lio’s back in shock. “Until I told him he needed to accept Tennant.”

Keegan growls at me, stepping into my space. “You fucking idiot. You could have worked on that later. You know Lio is reactive right now. His Master is gone, and whatever the fuck he had going on with Hollis is now not an option.”

“But—”

Keegan cuts me off as his phone rings. “What the fuck do you mean?!” he shouts into the phone.

He barely looks at me as he starts to pace, murmuring words I can't make out. Finally, he hangs up with whoever he was talking to. Turning to me, he says, “This is fucking great. You two are acting like children when we have the house being hit with a search warrant, and a raid on the whorehouse. That shouldn’t have even been touched with all the important clients that go there. Even worse, it appears we’ve got some injuries. You want to be a Second? Do your fucking job.”

With that, Keegan dashes out and leaves me in the study alone. The first thing I do is shoot off a message to Hollis, waiting for his response before I can deal with the whorehouse. At this point, dying would have been easier…