Page 32

The fact that they have this in common now is enough to break what’s left of her heart.

He had been the one to pull a man off her all those years ago when she was bent over the pool table in the basement, cigarette smoke wafting up her nostrils while a drunk asshole forced himself on her.

Wade saved her that night. He had been a few minutes too late to stop it entirely, but he saved her nonetheless.

She hadn’t been there to save him.

What does she say now? What would she have wanted to hear? I’m sorry is inadequate, so she says the only thing that scratches the surface of promising emotional relief from this kind of torment.

“We’re going to kill him.” She slides a hand up his shoulder, ducks her face down to meet his eyes, and urges his head up. “Look at me. We’re going to fucking eviscerate him.”

Wade nods, his own stare flaring with the need for vengeance, and then it’s gone again and he clears his throat, changing the subject abruptly, perhaps so he doesn’t crumble. “What’s a thing you’ve always wanted to do that you haven’t yet. Keep it clean.”

She smiles. “It’s not your turn.”

“Come on.”

“Okay, okay. Go sailing.”

“Really? Boats?” He stretches his legs out on the bed and leans back against the pillows.

“You don’t like the water?”

“There’s a reason I didn’t join the Navy instead.”

“Hmm. Well, I guess I’ll have to send you a postcard from my sailing vacation,” she teases in a sing-song voice.

“Just supposed to watch my best friend leave in some boat? Don’t think so. I’d go with you even if I throw up the whole time.”

“Valiant sacrifice. What’s a thing you’ve wanted to do but never did?”

“Climb Cathedral Rock in Sedona.”

“Oh, you’ve thought about this.”

“Thought about it a lot. Have you ever seen it?”

She shakes her head. “Never even heard of it.”

“There’s this thin ledge high up between two pillars. Looks like a huge cathedral. The climb is almost vertical to get there. Short though, doable. Worth it for the view.”

“Maybe we’ll go one day.”

He huffs. “Sure, a little sidequest on our way to California?”

“Why not? Seeing what’s left out there doesn’t sound so bad if we do it together.

” He considers her comment for far too long, and far too seriously for her comfort, so she distracts him rather than confirm that she’d leave this all behind tomorrow if they could simply ride off into the sunset.

“Bake something with me? I want something sweet. It’s a crime not to take advantage of all this fancy electricity. ”

“You’ve been hungry all day,” he teases.

“For cake.”

“Cake, huh? We got stuff for that?”

“I think we do. I may or may not have seen some boxed mix in the pantry. I don’t think that ever expires.”

“Alright, let’s make some cake. Can I lick the spoon?”

“The spoon is mine.”

“I’ll fight you for it.”

“I’ll still win.”

* * *

It’s a warm evening when she pops a random CD into the player and pulls out mixing bowls and ingredients.

A soft song fills the air, something a couple might dance to under twinkle lights, but she’s not about to push her luck.

Especially not when she spies him caressing that hair tie in a sudden reaction.

“What is it? Talk to me.”

“Nothing. It’s fine. Just the music. All I heard in the cell was bass on repeat. It was just thumping. I felt it in my chest. In my skeleton. I’m good. I’m fine.”

She dials the volume down to a background melody and moves closer, something inside her mending when he doesn’t shy away. “You have bad memories connected to music. I can turn it off, or we can make new ones.”

“New ones. Always new ones.”

“Okay then. One cake coming up. In the meantime, measure this and this into that, and tell me what food you miss most from before the turn.”

He smirks. “Putting me to work. I see how it is. Um, pizza. For sure.”

“Mmm. Pepperoni and mushrooms, some feta cheese.”

“Still love that nasty cheese, huh?”

“It adds a salty kick. Still want pineapple on yours like someone without tastebuds?”

“Don’t knock it ‘till you try it.”

He dumps flour and sugar into the bowl while she chops chocolate they found stashed in a drawer to melt on the stove. She’s intent on distracting him, and so far, it’s mission accomplished.

“I miss ice cream the most,” she continues, enjoying how easy this is. She worried they may have lost their bantering abilities, but it’s come back strong as ever. “I guess we could make it here, but we don’t have a machine.”

“Ever had fake ice cream? One frozen banana and a blender. Boom.”

Her nose wrinkles. “That doesn’t sound like ice cream, Wade. It sounds like mushed banana.”

“I’ll show you. We gotta find a banana tree one of these days, and we’re golden. Just as good as the real thing.”

“Maybe we’ll find one on the road,” she replies before catching herself. She can’t stop thinking of how life together out there might look.

“Maybe we will,” his face softens, one finger dipping into the bowl to scoop out the batter.

“Hey!” she scolds, dumping the rest into the pan and shoving it into the oven with a frown as he licks his finger clean.

“You said I couldn’t have the spoon, so I had to make do.”

His eyes glimmer with mischief before lunging for the batter-coated spoon she holds.

She shrieks, snatching it back to hold high in the air while darting around the island as he gives chase.

The fun is in being caught, so when he grabs her, she melts, letting him take the spoon to lick before he offers it back to her.

She pauses before gathering up the remaining batter with her tongue and an approving hum.

“You’re killing me,” he sighs.

She smiles wide, taking a point in her favor.

“We should look for that dog. Probably out there wreaking havoc on the whole place.”

“We will tonight. He’s fine, I’m sure of it. We’ll find him, Wade.”

“I didn’t even want him. Told you twenty times we shouldn’t keep him.”

It’s a dull protest she doesn’t believe. “Yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourself that.”

“I gotta apologize to that guy, too. Fuck. I busted his nose open.”

“He understood.”

“He shouldn’t have to. And you shouldn’t need to do all the explaining for me, running interference all the time.”

He’s getting lost in his head again, and she isn’t about to let that happen just yet. “You’d run interference for me, so let me do it for you.”

As if on cue, the doorbell rings. They aren’t expecting guests, but when Kara opens it, Juliet is on the other side holding a wiggling puppy.

“I think you lost something.” Juliet hands the dog to Wade, who gathers him up as if they’ve spent years apart. “I found him with some of the kids. They were quite disappointed to lose their playmate.”

The puppy licks at his chin in a frantic display of affection while Wade half-heartedly scolds him with a smile on his face.

“Can you check on the cake? I’ll be right in.” She needs a moment alone with Juliet and is only grateful when Wade leaves with a nod.

“She’s fine,” the other woman offers without needing to be asked. “You can see her if you want. She really loves your dog. He was sleeping in her lap when I found him.”

Does Kara want to see the child whose life she ruined when she made her an orphan by accident?

No. Not a fucking chance. But she asks about her every time she comes to this community, needing to make sure that her life from here on out is only filled with as many good things as one can find in an apocalypse.

“No, I don’t wanna see her. She’s good, though? Happy?”

Juliet nods. “Very happy. I know I tell you this every time but you bringing her here was the best thing that could have happened to her. A life with Silas and his group is no place for a child.”

“I know. Logically, I know.” Emotionally, it’s hard not to think that being with her own parents would be the best place for her, even if that was with the enemy.

Kara knows all too well how it feels to have her only parent taken from her.

Now, she’s done that to someone else in her quest to find Wade, and it continues to haunt her regardless of the facts. “She likes the dog, huh?”

“Oh yeah, keeps saying she wants one. We’ve been keeping an eye out for puppies on runs.”

“I’ll keep an eye out then, too.”

* * *

They don’t talk much that night. The silence is comfortable as they read side by side, propped up against the pillows. The topic of sleeping arrangements is avoided in favor of fooling themselves into thinking they’ll move for safety reasons before drifting off.

Later, when Kara’s curled up against Wade and grows hot, she flips the covers off her underwear-covered ass, and he slips his feet between hers to warm them.