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Kara doesn’t remember what it felt like to be clean.

Washing in the river isn’t the same as a hot shower at one of the solar-powered communities that have popped up since the outbreak. It’s not worth it to overstay her visit at Paradise Falls just for the chance to scrub her skin raw.

The small talk mixed into Luke’s constant flirtation isn’t a price she’s willing to pay.

All persistence has an endpoint, or so she assumed, but it’s been years and he hasn’t given up.

Of course, she’s one to talk when it comes to that, she thinks with a sigh, strapping the last of her bounty to the bike before kicking it into gear and aiming for the place she hates most.

She would trade elsewhere, but anything within a reasonable driving distance never has enough fruit.

Paradise Falls is rolling in apples and peaches from trees in the back pasture.

It’s either this or end up with scurvy. After making it six years into the apocalypse, there’s not a chance she’s going out like that.

The rumbling bike prompts scowls at the gate before she’s even rolled to a stop. Reluctantly, she’s granted entrance to what used to hold the promise of a new beginning, but now only offers irritation.

Kara doesn’t bother with greetings. She has one purpose here and the longer she fucks around before getting it done, the worse mood she’ll be in.

Gravel crunches under her boots with every forceful step that carries her to the trading tent, where she plops down five rabbits and a string of squirrels.

“You didn’t gut them this time. Told you before that you get less if they come in whole,” the man behind the table says with a sneer.

Her face remains impassive. She’s used to this bullshit every time she arrives and rather than argue, she simply unsheathes her knife, twirling it on her finger and prepares the meat in full view of a group of doe-eyed children.

She leaves the product of her efforts dripping blood onto the cobbled street.

“How’s that?” she replies evenly.

The man’s jaw twitches with the need to tell her she can’t keep coming here and disrupting the peace. That she’s not welcome , but he doesn’t, for two reasons.

He is afraid of her, like most are, and Luke still refuses to admit defeat when it comes to courting her. Though why he has any interest now after what she’s become is anyone’s guess. It’s a pride thing, she assumes. Can’t accept that what he put so much effort into has become an unattainable goal.

Not that she’s a prize. No, even before the world went to shit, she hadn’t been a prize.

Kara cleans the knife on the tablecloth before wiping her hands on the only clean towel in the trading stall. She accepts the bag of fruit she came here for and can’t wait to escape the stench of civilized society to get back to camp and pack her supplies for the next search radius.

Further north this time. Up into the mountains where someone like Silas might hide well enough to evade her this long.

“Making friends, as always.”

She cringes at Luke’s voice, doing her best to wipe that look off her face before she turns around, because she’s not trying to be an asshole. He is always nice enough, just can’t take a damn hint. “You know me. Always winning people over with my sparkling personality.”

The next sentence out of his mouth stops her cold as she moves to leave.

“We found him.”

She never imagined three words could destroy her so completely and so quickly. Or that denial would be her first reaction. “You didn’t. Why would you say that?”

“This morning. He was dumped at the gates with a note. You need to listen to me first before you—”

“Where? Where is he? Wade!”

She calls out like he might answer. Rushes past Luke toward the common areas and housing, not having a clue where she’s going.

If hyperventilating were a job, Kara would be getting paid overtime. Her lungs work against her, legs like jelly as she accumulates stares from onlookers. She must seem crazier today than all the other times she’s graced their presence.

“Kara, stop.” He grabs her arm, swinging her around so forcefully she nearly cracks him on the jaw on reflex, only holding it in at the last second.

“Don’t touch me. Tell me where he is. What are you waiting for?”

“I’ll show you. Come with me.”

Her skin still crawls where his hand squeezed, but that matters far less than what’s about to happen. Six years of searching is about to end, giving her exactly what she’d hoped for.

Prayed for.

Killed for.

Tried to make deals with the devil for.

This journey has consumed her and ruined her, broken down any chance she might have had at that normal post-apocalyptic life that she was so certain she craved before Wade disappeared.

And now, the very thing that’s driven her, that need to see him again, is within her grasp, and she’s not sure she can handle it without crumbling.

Luke’s lackluster pace has her frustrated. He wants to talk first and unless she’s eager to search every room in this compound on her own, which is tempting but would only take longer, she’s doomed to listen.

“He isn’t the same. I need you to understand what you’re about to see.”

“Then get to the point and move faster while you’re doing it,” she replies.

“He won’t speak. Tried to kill someone earlier for getting too close. Took three men to get him back here, and that’s before he broke a window trying to escape.”

Her gut sinks, mind racing with possibilities for what could have happened. She’d always known that being with Silas this long was no vacation. Tried not to spend her nights envisioning what awful reality Wade was living through while she laid cozy in her tent.

“Is he hurt?” she asks.

“Not physically. I mean, not anymore. Not really.”

“What are you trying to say? Just spit it out.” Her frustration boils over at Luke’s inability to state the facts.

“He isn’t himself anymore, Kara. That’s what I’m saying. He’s not safe to be near, not even for you.”

She huffs. “What did the note say?”

“What?”

“You said he had a note with him.”

“Seems you’ve left a trail of destruction in your wake while searching for him and Silas has decided it’s in his best interest to offload what you’re looking for.”

“Who. Who I’m looking for.”

“Right.”

“In here?” She points to the door they stopped in front of, not waiting for a reply before she flings it open, and in an instant, her heart stutters and threatens to grind to a halt.

He is filthy. Shoved in the corner of the room, face hidden by shaking forearms, but she knows him . Knows the breadth of those wide shoulders and the dark hair that needs a cut more than ever. She’s seen him in her dreams for two thousand one hundred and twenty-seven days. She’d know him anywhere.

“Wade?” she whispers, moving closer.

Luke warns her from somewhere in the background, but that’s white noise now.

For a moment, she worries he’s a hallucination despite all the evidence pointing to the contrary.

Needs to touch him. Hold him. Prove this nightmare is over when she can hardly trust her own eyes anymore.

Rational thought is overrated. Fuck the warnings.

Fuck it all. Wade is right here in front of her and there’s not a chance in hell she isn’t going to wrap her arms around him and breathe him in.

At least, that’s what she thinks right up until her fingers meet his naked shoulder and then she’s on the ground, gasping as he tries to strangle the life out of her.

She claws at his hands, kicking out of reflex.

What scares her most isn’t the outburst, but how easily he looks straight through her.

Two men haul him off her as he scrambles bare feet against concrete to reach her again.

Doesn’t stop until they’ve pinned him to the ground with his hands behind his back and then everything goes still and silent.

She’s never watched someone shut down so completely.

It’s hard to look away and even harder to see.

Her throat throbs, emotions so tangled she can’t pick one to run with, so she sits on her ass wheezing in one hard breath after another while Wade lays limp as if nothing happened at all.

“Get off him.” She coughs, scratching at her own neck.

No one moves.

“Get off him or I’ll make you.” She reaches for her knife, knowing damn well they could take her, yet more than willing to fight anyway until Luke sends them away.

She lingers a moment as the shock of getting everything she’s wanted for so long begins to morph into the devastation that this isn’t the happy reunion she expected. Not even close.

“Give him a fucking blanket,” she growls, getting to her feet to blow out the door and down the hall.

“We tried. He won’t use it.”

“Then give him another one.”

She keeps moving until the double doors at the end of the hall give way to daylight, dumping her into an empty courtyard where she falls to her knees and a mournful scream escapes strained lungs. This must be a cruel joke, she thinks, wiping the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand.

In all the moments, she allowed herself to imagine what their reunion might be like, it was always emotional.

Sweet. Passionate. She’d run into his arms like he ran into hers the day they found each other after the dead started walking the earth.

She’s replayed his smile when she spotted him in the hallway of her old apartment on a loop, longing to see it again just one more time.

He came for her, like he always has. Like every other time she thought the world would finally claim her, but there he was, forcing the darkness back with sheer willpower alone.

She lost count of how often he saved her when they were both children in the foster system. She should have known that not even the rotters could keep him away.

Then he was taken right in front of her and the trajectory of her life changed forever.