Page 8

My parents personally assisted everyone with their chambers after the welcome.

Meanwhile, I pulled Ruhani into my chamber, and we hugged like never before.

“How did you get your voice back?”

I screamed, my eyes wide with ecstasy.

Inhaling deeply, she looked at me with her doe-like eyes.

“Long, long story,”

she said, teasing, “Who is the lucky man?”

I planted a faint smile on my face and replied, “That’s a surprise for you.”

She pouted, “I hate surprises.”

She whined and sat beside me on the bed.

“So, love or arranged marriage?”

she asked in excitement, and I looked at her with a heavy heart.

“Complicated,”

I answered.

She chuckled, furrowing her brows, “What?”

“Yeah, I mean, many suitors travelled here from different states, and I had to choose one of them.

So, it's neither love nor arranged.

Everything is my choice, but taking into consideration the betterment of the empire,”

“You love him, right?”

She asked.

I blinked at her blankly.

I wanted to tell her everything, but part of me wasn’t ready to do so.

The more I tried to dig into it, the more complicated it became.

The groom was just old and simple.

“It is a political wedding, Ruh,”

Her smile dropped as soon as she heard me.

She looked at me, astounded.

“What? A political marriage? Why? And what about the man you love?”

She asked, and I turned away to calm my racing heart.

Closing my eyes, I braced myself to tell her the truth.

“He left me, and now everyone knows that I had an affair with someone.”

She immediately made me look at her.

“What's happening here? I hope this wedding is happening with your consent,”

She asked doubtfully, and I held her hand.

“Of course.

But it's just not with the man I loved.

He left me nothing,” I said.

She turned upset and hugged me.

“He did not deserve you, ,”

She said, and I smiled, nodding at her.

A loud knock on my door caught our attention.

“Who is it?”

I asked, and the attendee from behind the door responded.

“Sultan Aahil is asking for Begum24 Ruhani,”

I teasingly squinted at Ruhani.

“Come on, your Sultan is asking for you.”

She giggled, and I teased her more.

“Tell me how your first time was,”

she blushed and told the attendee, “Ask him to wait.”

“So, how was it?”

I asked, scooting closer.

With a flushed face, she looked down. “What?”

“Stop blushing, I want to know the details,”

I insisted, and she looked at me with a wide smile.

“It was wild,”

I arched my brow.

“Wild, huh… Really?”

I squeaked.

“Yes.

We were in the garden and it was raining heavily that night.

He was upset about something.

I went to console him, and we got so indulged that it just happened.”

She was a blushing mess by the end of her revelation.

I was shocked.

“In the middle of the garden? Quite a show for the onlookers,”

I commented with my mouth wide open, and she chuckled.

“Oh no, no.

It was a private garden, isolated, so it just happened smoothly,”

she said.

I cleared my throat and gushed, “Well, however smooth it was, just imagining it is hair-raising.”

Giving a benign smile, she said, “Well, you see, , when it is the right person, you don't care about anything.

That's what happened to me.

At that moment, I was so much surrounded by him, nothing else mattered,”

she placed her hand on my cheek lovingly.

“And trust me, when you have someone like that, it'll happen to you, too.”

I sighed dejectedly, hearing her words.

Deep down, I knew nothing of that sort would happen to me.

But a part of me instantly thought of Rudra listening to her.

“You're right.

But now I think you should go to meet your Sultan.

He must be waiting for you,” I said.

“Alright,”

she hugged me standing up, and I bid her adieu for the night.

Once she left, the attendees closed the doors, and I lay on my bed.

With each passing second, my life grew increasingly complex.

Only a week remained before my wedding, and I looked at my hands, trembling with anxiety.

Soon they'd be adorned with henna, but with someone else’s name.

All the things I wanted to do for him, with him, I was now going to do for some other man.

Tears pooled in my eyes as old thoughts haunted my mind.

The conversations, the laughter, the secret meetings we had—everything felt perfect, yet my heart wasn't ready.

It asked again and again, what went wrong with our love?

After all that happened, my mind persistently lingered on thoughts of him, drowned.

It felt as if my body walked past him, but my soul remained attached to him, in his arms, feeling his warmth, refusing to leave his hold.

My insides mourned for what my heart was enduring because of my mind.

I wish he had come to me and told me, for him, with him, all the things I would have ended.

I would have cried, would have fought, but had he given me an explanation, I might’ve understood.

I would have left him, smiling while holding his hand, for him, with him over my heart, I would have walked.

But now my morals wouldn’t allow my soul to remain in his embrace any longer.

They pulled my soul from his hold, ripping it away, and it shattered.

Moment by moment, it shattered.

Growing up, I dreamed of a perfect life, but those dreams didn’t matter.

I did not know how many girls had gone through it.

How many girls suffer this pain—the pain of forcibly overcoming an emotion and living with the ultimate reality for all their lives?

I wasn't bleeding, there wasn't a single cut on my body, but the pain was indescribable, like someone was scraping my heart with a knife.

Lying there on the bed, I didn't know when I fell asleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of footsteps.

Sitting up in bed, I looked around the chamber.

A few lamps had run out of oil, making the room partly dark.

“Who is it?”

my voice echoed as I stepped out of bed.

Suddenly, someone pulled me, and in a panic, I was about to scream.

But before I could, a palm was placed over my mouth, and I looked into the intruder’s eyes.

His eyes.

Even in the dim lighting and darkest of nights, I could recognise him, with his smell, his touch, his engulfing presence.

He pushed me against the bedpost, and I held onto his wrists, detaching his hand from my mouth.

I glared at him angrily, but his gaze softened.

“Why are you doing this, ?”

He asked in an agonising tone.

I drew in a deep breath.

“Baagee samajhte hai aap?”

(Ever heard of a rebel?) I asked, and he looked at me blankly.

“Vo ban gaye hain hum,”

(I’ve become that.) I said, and he held my cheek.

With his cold hand, he pulled me closer.

His breathing was fast and wild.

He questioned, looking at me.

“How do I stop you?”

I blinked and shook my head in disappointment.

“Kitna saral hai na aapke liye.

Humaara jeevan dhwast karne ke pashchaat mol poochne chale aaye.

Kaise rukenge hum? Haina, kitna saral,”

(How easy it is for you.

After destroying my life, you have come for negotiations.

How will I stop? See, how easy is that?) Tears brimmed in my eyes as rage built within me, looking at him.

“May I know at what price you sold me?” I asked.

He sucked in a heavy breath and pulled my face closer to his.

“I cannot marry .

I cannot become anyone's husband, and I cannot bear a child,”

he said, and the world stopped before me.

His words paralysed my form.

“What?”

I asked, and he nodded.

“It's not about any other girl.

It was just about you.

I was playing with you; I was just...

using you for my plans,”

he disclosed.

“But...

but that night I just couldn't do it anymore.

I just….

I don't know. But please, it is hurting me, so please don't do this. Everything will become complicated. I’m not asking you not to get married at all. You have all the rights to be happy, but that man will never give you the happiness you deserve,”

he pleaded, and tears trailed down my face.

“That's it? And, since when did you start caring about my happiness?”

I asked.

He looked at me, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

Moving his hands from my cheeks to my waist, he slowly pulled me closer, and I felt him leaning into the scruff of my neck.

He engulfed me in a hug, and I broke down in tears.

“Sab samaapt ho gaya hai ab, Rudra.”

(It's all over now, Rudra.) He tightened his hold and lifted me effortlessly.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he placed one hand on my head.

“You deserve to be happy, .

It was not your fault.

I’m sorry that I included you in this dirty game of politics,”

I broke into intense cries upon hearing his words.

He then said, “Please change your decision.

We cannot be on opposite sides.”

I pulled away from the hug.

Taking a deep breath and controlling my tears, I said, “I will become the Queen of Suryagarh.

You do what you are at best.

Run away….

like always,”

His eyes darkened with anger, while his grip on me tightened.

His hand scraped from my waist to my hand, and he drew my face closer to his.

It felt warm and fuzzy.

“You know, it is never going to happen,”

he said, and my whole body trembled as I looked at his lips inching closer to mine.

I stared blankly into his eyes.

“!”

He placed his lips over mine.

“, open the door,”

He sucked on my lower lip passionately and whispered,

“I love you, little wife,”

“, open the door,”

panicking, I jolted awake, sitting upright on the bed.

I looked around, gasping heavily for air.

My heart beat rapidly when I heard loud banging at my door.

“!”

Massa's loud calls made me realise it was all a dream—a nightmare, to be precise.

He wasn't here.

He did not come last night.

“Open the door, ,”

She screamed, and I placed my hand on my chest to calm myself down.

“Yes, Maasa,”

I hurried out of bed and rushed to the door.

Opening it, I saw my mother, aunt, and Ruhani dressed up.

“It's your Haldi25 and you’re late,”

my aunt reminded me, and I plastered a smile over my face.

I hate you, Rudra.

“Haldi.

Yeah… yes, I know…I remember,”

I spoke falteringly, distracted by the repercussions of the dream.

My Buaa smiled, and I looked at the grim expression on Ruhani’s and my mother’s faces.

“I'll help her get ready.”

Ruhani stepped forward, getting inside the chamber.

Once my mother and aunt left, handing me the attire for the haldi ceremony, Ruhani closed the door behind me and walked towards the couch.

Taking a seat, I groaned, holding my head, throbbing awfully in pain.

“What happened?”

She asked.

“I think I’m going insane,”

I grumbled, and she looked at me confused.

“What?”

I palmed my face because I didn't know what it was.

I could still feel like he was here, right in front of me.

It felt so real, so vivid, but then suddenly the door banged and I… ughh…

What the heck was that? It did not seem like a dream, or had I started hallucinating?

My head was hurting.

I couldn’t sleep well, as I kept thinking about everything the whole night.

And a few things I remember were the ‘kiss’ and him calling me his ‘little wife’.

I couldn't comprehend anything else.

“Are you alright, ?”

Ruhani asked, and I looked at her.

“Yes, I think.

I mean...

I need to take a hot bath,”

I stood up, moving towards the bathroom, when she offered, “Alright, let me help you.”

We both moved toward the bathroom.

She seemed a little sad about the instances, and to cheer her up, I asked, “So, how wild was it last night?”

She blushed at my question, and I smiled in satisfaction.

“Tell me,”

I moved toward the pool, taking off my clothes when I noticed a blood stain on my skirt.

He was here the night before!

***