Isneaked out in the middle of the night, leaving her sleeping figure alone on the bed because I couldn't do it.
I just had to spend one night with her, and I could not do that.
Coward.
I cursed myself, trying to calm my heart, which was hammering outrageously.
I couldn't do it for many reasons.
One of them was my conscience.
It kept arguing with my brain.
I felt great for the last two years.
I tried to suppress and control this feeling because it wasn’t how I was supposed to feel on the path I was walking.
However, as soon as I looked at her, my calm composure went down the drain, my emotions spiralled out of control, and my heart began to pound again.
I could not stand her.
She was becoming my weakness.
Her face, her smile, her kindness—I thought I could control it all, but she was clearly winning me over.
She was so undeniable.
To prevail over her, I had to feed her a sleeping herb.
I knew we couldn’t get married because of our enmity, and I certainly couldn't keep her for myself, even in my illusions.
Her father hated me, and I hated her father; we were no match.
I thought I'd use her as bait, but she wrecked everything.
EVERYTHING.
I pulled the reins tighter as I had to run fast.
I could feel her lingering smell tormenting my insides.
It was galvanising, gripping me in its essence, and I wanted to get away from it.
Only when I crossed the borders of her Empire did I breathe.
I didn’t want to see her again.
We were enemies, and we could never be together.
I reminded myself of this once more.
I couldn't forget about my father and the childhood I lost because of her parents.
Her father would never have let me marry her.
Moreover, I wanted to kill her father and brother, and if I married her, it’d be difficult to do so because I’d be bound to her and probably have to think of her happiness and all.
Why was I even thinking about marrying her? Where did that thought come from? What the heck was happening to me?
I gripped my head in frustration and pulled the reins of my horse to stop him.
I stepped down and moved closer to his head, stroking his neck firmly.
Patting his chest in appreciation, I let him find some grass to eat.
Sitting under the tree, I peeked at the sky.
It was a moonlit night, and the sky was filled with stars.
The noise of insects invading the silence made everything a little more calming.
Closing my eyes, I didn't know when sleep took over my senses.
I woke up to the sound of birds chirping and sunlight slowly falling on my face.
Praying to Surya Dev6 for another beautiful day, I resumed my journey back to Suryagarh.
The King must be ‘missing me’— Missing taunting me[!]
Once reached, I left my horse in the stable and walked towards my room.
Yes, a room.
I did not have a chamber.
I was just the king's guard and the head commander of the army.
I was allotted a room and lived like any other ordinary soldier.
My room had no beds, so I slept on the ground.
I was not offered a seat in meetings and stood outside the King's chamber, merely guarding him.
My break was over.
I asked for a few days off, and he granted them to me for the first time.
I wanted to see Nandani once and check if I could control my emotions around her.
For two years, I had strived to gain control over everything, but I felt like a complete failure when I saw her standing before me.
Her long hair, slender neck and beautiful face, her big eyes filled with kohl, and when she stared at me with those eyes intensely, I felt like I was losing my sanity.
Why was I so cowardly and uncontrollable in front of her?
I didn't want to touch her, but when she was near me, smelling so divine, I just wanted to engulf her in my arms.
In those few moments, I just kept forgetting that she was the daughter of my enemy and that I was on a mission.
I cursed myself as I donned my guard's attire.
But from now on, I promised to keep myself in check, forget her, and focus on my mission.
I secretly had to create an army because I was waiting for the king to grant me my claim to the throne, which was fine.
However, if he did not, I would have to wage war, and once I won, I would wage another war against Mahabaleshgarh.
As I stepped outside his chamber, the soldiers guarding the door bowed in greeting.
I returned their greeting and took my place beside them.
This was my job.
Everything was going fine.
I immersed myself in my work, trying to forget my attraction to her, and kept myself busy aiming for my targets and fulfilling my ambitions.
Now, another reason why I could not sleep with her and had to intoxicate her was that I could not have sexual intercourse with her, with any woman, until my coronation Yagya7 would be performed.
Since I was a nineteen-year-old boy, I'd been celibate.
My master told me to practise it, learn to have control, and surpass every state.
If a man could control his hunger, thirst, pain, emotions and sex drive, no one could distract him from his goal.
But she did.
I considered cutting corners and using her to weaken her empire and ultimately defeat it.
However, I couldn’t get closer to her; I couldn't even kiss her.
I knew that if I had kissed her even once, all my sacrifices and control would be in vain.
I wouldn't just have stopped at her lips.
I had two plans.
One was to cheat, betray Mahabaleshgarh, and use Nandani as my shortcut to success.
The other was to have patience and control, to achieve everything decently through hard work.
But I couldn't do what I thought I'd do to her.
So, I had to choose the latter and win everything through my hard work.
Hence, I left her.
One week had passed, and I was still trying to get over her.
As usual, I was guarding outside the King's chamber when he called me inside,
“,”
I opened his chamber door to ask.
“Yes, your Majesty?”
He was seated comfortably on the couch, holding a letter in his hand.
“Get yourself prepared.
You are coming with me to Mahableshgarh,”
he informed me, and I frowned.
“What?”
I countered, and with a smile, he clarified.
“Yes.
Rajvardhan is marrying off his daughter, and I will attend it.
And since you are my royal guard, you go everywhere with me, right?” I nodded.
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
This information struck me strangely, and I was deeply shocked.
She is getting married?!
I felt a sudden uneasiness arising in my heart and exited the chamber.
I furrowed my brows because I couldn't understand why she had suddenly decided to get married.
One week ago, she was ready to hand herself over entirely to me, and now she would marry someone else.
And out of nowhere, my brain questioned, "Why am I feeling so restless with this information?" It was her life, and she could marry anyone she wanted.
She had to marry someone if I didn’t.
Sooner or later, this day had to come.
I gulped the painful lump in my throat as I didn't know what to do.
As the night drew to a close, I packed my belongings, and we began our journey the next morning.
As usual, I was in my guard's apparel.
As I crossed the threshold of Mahabaleshgarh, I noticed the decorations and chaos that erupted within the palace.
It was true; she was indeed getting married.
The king was given the largest of the guest chambers, and he asked me to guard its door.
With my helmet on, no one could recognize me, but dread gradually overtook my heart.
By afternoon, I observed the king departing to meet with other kings.
He left me outside his chamber and returned later in the evening while I stayed in my place.
A part of me wanted to know whom Nandani would choose as her husband.
She was a wealthy princess, and her father had organized such an extravagant Swayamvar.
Table of Contents
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- Page 3
- Page 4 (Reading here)
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