Page 39

She froze.

Surprise lit up her eyes, and her cheeks flushed pink. “What?”

she asked, her mouth agape.

I sat up and looked at her, repeating my words calmly.

“I want to break my controlling period… and I want us to consummate our marriage,”

Her eyes widened even more, and she immediately stepped down from the bed, looking terrified.

But I held her hand before she could move more than a few feet. “Heyyy…”

I said softly.

She turned to look at me, her lips visibly trembling.

“Are you mad? Co… con… consummation? Are you mad?”

she stammered, grabbing her blouse with shaky hands.

Sliding her arms into it, she adjusted it over her chest and pulled her hair forward, but struggled to tie it.

Seeing her jittery like that, I stood up and walked behind her.

Gently, I took the strings from her hands.

“Lagta hai aapki neend udd gayi,”

(Seems like you’re not sleepy anymore.) I said as I tied the blouse for her.

She lowered her gaze, her voice uncertain.

“You have… worked very, very hard for this.

You can’t… You shouldn’t break it midway.

Talk to your Guruji first.”

I exhaled deeply and sat back on the bed after tying the strings.

She turned towards me, and I met her gaze and spoke, “The controlling period wasn’t just about becoming king.

It did help build the discipline a king should have, but that wasn’t the main reason.

The main reason was to change the future—a future predicted by a fortune-teller.

He said a great war would happen. A war that would change lives. And he said that… I would lose it. So my Guruji began searching for a way out. And the best solution was celibacy. A sacrifice to build absolute discipline to erase all desires, to control every emotion that could lead to destruction. He especially warned against women, love, sex, and any form of Kama.”

I paused, heaving out a sigh.

Then added, “But now that I know there won’t be any war as your father and I are heading towards a peace treaty, this isn’t necessary anymore.

And even if it is, I no longer want to continue.

I want to leave behind everything that started with my father, everything connected to him.

I want to rule as a king on my terms, with my learnings, not with borrowed sacrifices.”

Once I was done speaking, she stepped closer and knelt before me.

Holding my hand, she looked straight into my eyes.

She shook her head gently and said, “I know you’re capable of anything, and I believe you can do it.

But still… this is something your Guruji should decide.

Don’t let your sacrifice go in vain just because you’re heartbroken and upset right now.”

I shook my head.

“I’ve made up my mind, Nandani,”

I declared.

She lowered her gaze and slowly stood up.

“Then… It’s a no,”

she whispered, turning to walk away.

My hand shot out, holding her wrist, and I pulled her closer.

“What do you mean it’s a no?”

I asked, my voice low.

She looked into my eyes and took a deep breath.

“Finish what you started.

If you break your controlling period now, when your mind isn’t clear, people will misunderstand.

They won’t know the real reason.

To them, it’ll look like you couldn’t even hold yourself back for a month after marriage. And I don’t want that image of you out there. Not even if the ‘people’ is just one person,”

She blinked, still holding my gaze.

But a sudden knock at the door made her turn. “Yes?”

she asked.

I loosened my hold on her wrist as we both listened.

“Princess, the king and queen are asking for you and Ranaji for breakfast,”

came the voice from the other side.

“Let them know we’re coming,”

she replied, and turned back to me and said, “We’ll talk about this later, ,”

And moving closer, she carefully stroked my cheek.

“I know you’re hurting.

No matter how calm you’re pretending to be, inside… you’re just looking for an escape.

And this idea of consummating our marriage now, it’s one of those escapes.

Don’t rush into this. I don’t have a problem with you ending your celibacy. That’s entirely your decision, because it is your sacrifice, your journey. But not like this. Not when you’re low, broken, and upset,”

She leaned in and placed a soft kiss on my forehead.

“No one wants to feel loved by you more than I do.

No one is more excited for us to make love than I.

But please… not until you feel it’s truly right.

Not like this. Not as a punishment to yourself,”

She caressed my chin with her finger.

“I love you so much,”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

Her fingers gently stroked through my hair as she whispered, “We both should get ready.”

I nodded, feeling her slowly move away from me.

Honestly, she was right.

I was desperately looking for an escape, something that would make me forget everything that happened, something that would distract me from the storm of thoughts I had before jumping into the river.

Thoughts so dark and terrifying that I couldn't even put them into words.

Sitting by the bank of the river the night before, I remembered my childhood.

And what broke me was realising that not even once were my thoughts free from the weight of revenge.

It was so triggering and eye-opening that almost twenty-nine years of my life meant nothing except revenge.

And through all of it, I never stopped to think about what I was doing to myself.

I thought I was focused.

I thought I was disciplined.

But the more tightly I held onto control, the more I started slipping away from reality.

I realised that my goals, thoughts, and decisions had been so rigid all these years that I had denied changing even the slightest bit.

But everything changed after I met Nandani.

Especially after I left her.

Everything collapsed.

It was like a sudden flood of thoughts and emotions broke through the dam I’d built over the years.

All the blocks I’d stacked so carefully came undone.

And now… I didn’t feel guilty or ashamed of saying I fell for her.

And I fell hard.

She is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Initially, I used to question why I felt so drawn to her.

Why was my heart changing? But now, looking back… I know it was for the best.

Maybe the energies of the universe were preparing me for this moment.

No matter how hard lies try, they can never overpower the truth.

“Not ready yet?”

The sudden sound of her voice snapped me back to the moment.

I found her standing by the mirror, gathering her long, open hair into a bun.

She looked fresh from her bath, radiant and beautiful in the blend of orange and red.

I stood up from the bed and walked toward her, unable to stop myself from wrapping my arms around her from behind.

I leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to the side of her neck.

“Thank you so much for coming into my life, little wife,”

I whispered.

She smiled instantly, her hand resting over mine on her waist.

“The feeling is terribly mutual, Ranaji,”

she replied with a soft chuckle.

Then she turned slightly to look at me and added, “Now get dressed.”

I nodded and walked over to the couch to pick up my kurta.

I had bathed the previous night, so I didn’t feel like doing it again in the morning.

“I’m ready,”

I said, slipping the kurta on.

She let out a deep, mildly frustrated sigh as she looked at me, then pulled me by the hand and made me sit on the couch.

Gently running her fingers through my hair, she began to comb it with care.

“Iska arth hai ki ab aapne sab kuch tyaag diya,”

(Means you’ve given up on everything now.) she murmured, and I chuckled, placing a soft kiss on her midriff.

“No,”

I said with a smile.

“I just want to spend some quiet, quality time with you,”

She smiled in return and stepped back, but I pulled her close again and teasingly nipped her nipple over the fabric.

“Aaouch!”

she yelped at the unexpected sting.

I laughed, amused by her reaction.

She slapped my cheek lightly and whispered in a scolding tone, “If you do that again, I swear I’ll cut off my nipples and hand them to you.

Then you can keep playing with them all you want!”

I laughed quietly and stretched out my palm with a playful grin.

“Why not? Hand them over.

Give me boobies,”

She rolled her eyes, adjusting her dupatta, and smacked my hand.

“Let’s go.

They must be waiting for us.”

Still smiling, I stood up, ran my fingers through my hair, and walked beside her as we headed out.

We both walked into the dining hall for breakfast, and I glanced around at everyone already seated, waiting for us.

“Good morning, Bhaisa,”

Ranvijay stood to greet me.

I gently patted his shoulder and replied softly, “Morning.”

Agastya also rose from his seat and gave me a nod.

I placed a hand on his shoulder as well, offering a faint smile.

“How are you now, ?”

Rajaji asked.

I turned toward him and nodded, a soft smile spreading across my face.

“Better, Rajaji.”

My eyes drifted to Nandani, who was walking over to sit beside her mother.

I watched as her mother leaned in to whisper something to her, too softly for me to hear.

I took my seat beside Ranvijay and Agastya.

“,”

Rajaji began, “I wanted to speak to the three of you about something,”

I looked at him and gently raised my hand to stop him.

“Please, Rajaji...

I’m already overwhelmed with the truth about my father.

And now, I’m starting to feel like I don’t deserve any of this.

It’s all... too much. Too hard to digest right now,”

His expression shifted slightly, a quiet sadness in his eyes.

“I understand, ,”

he said.

“It must be difficult to accept such drastic changes.

But still, whatever happened—whether for good or bad—it doesn’t change the fact that we killed your fath—”

“I killed him,”

her mother suddenly cut in.

I swallowed hard and lowered my gaze.

“Rajaji is right,”

she continued.

“No matter the reason...

it doesn’t erase the fact that I took his life.

And in this society, peace rarely follows when a woman loses her support system.

We made you suffer, , unintentionally or not. And from the depths of my heart, I want to apologise for everything that happened. We’re truly sorry for your loss.”

Tears welled in my eyes, a heavy silence settled in the room, and then Ranvijay finally broke it.

“Yeh to maatra ek sanjog hai ki jo hua wo aapke kaaran hua.

Jisko jaana hota hai, samay aane par vo jaata hi hai.

Kintu khaara satya yehi hai… wo isi ke yogya the,”

(It’s just an excuse—that it happened because of you or that you killed him.

When someone’s time comes, they go, no matter the reason.

But the truth is...

he deserved it.)

I inhaled deeply and listened as Agastya spoke, “Yes, I completely agree,” he said.

I nodded.

“You don’t have to apologise.

If I were in your place, I would’ve slit his throat myself,”

I said plainly, feeling a cold shiver run through me.

A heavy, thrilling silence followed until I finally broke it.

“Anyway, Rajaji, we’re looking forward to establishing a peace treaty between Mahableshgarh and Suryagarh.

Now that we share not only political ties but personal ones too, and since we’re all trying to move beyond a manipulated past, we mustn’t give anyone the chance to exploit misunderstandings that no longer exist,”

Surprised, her father looked at me, then his expression shifted into a wide smile.

“Of course...

Wow...

Yes.

I mean, this is the best thing to do. It’s the right step toward a better future,”

he said, nodding in agreement.

I returned his smile and looked toward Ranvijay, signalling him to bring the documents.

“We’ve already drafted a treaty.

You can review it, consult with your advisors, and let us know if any changes or negotiations are needed,” I said.

“Well,”

Rajaji chuckled, “I was expecting something good at this festival, but not this good.”

I laughed lightly and caught Nandani watching me blankly while sipping her water.

“Also, Rajaji,”

I continued, “Ranisa and I must return home today.

Our neighbouring states are awaiting word from us.

It’s urgent, but I promise to return soon for a longer visit once things settle down.”

And suddenly, Nandani choked on her water, coughing uncontrollably.

Everyone turned to look at her with concern.

“What happened, Nandani?”

her mother asked.

She glanced at me, her eyes wide, and I couldn’t help the slight smile forming on my lips.

“What? Today? Why?”

she asked quickly, still catching her breath.

I raised a brow and leaned in slightly, my tone teasing but sharp.

“Why do you look scared, Nandani?”

She coughed harder, shaking her head.

“Scared? Me? Why would I be scared?”

Her cheeks flushed a deep red, and I held her gaze.

“Good,”

I said.

Then, looking around the table, I added calmly, “Also, Ranisa and I have something very important to take care of...

before the end of tonight,”

Nandani nearly dropped her glass, her eyes now twice as wide.

“What? Tonight?”

***