Page 6

I woke up early the next day.

It was Gangaur13, and I had to keep a fast for my would-be husband.

Both married and unmarried women celebrate this festival.

Where married ladies pray for their husbands’ and family’s good health, unmarried girls observe this fast to get an ideal husband.

And there was a belief that if an unmarried girl looked at a man’s reflection in the still waters of a pond under the starry sky, that man would be her husband.

So, I just had to see the King's face during the pooja14 in the evening.

I bathed early in the morning and changed into a yellow lehenga.

I couldn't wear anything revealing, as he had marked my back the night before, so I opted for a covered blouse.

While wearing all the jewelry, Suman helped me, and suddenly she asked, “, I don't think the king is a good man.

Are you not scared of him?”

I looked at her in the mirror and answered, “Trust me, he is a good man.

And don't worry about me,”

I went for the prayers, and when I returned, I stayed in my chamber the whole day since I was fasting.

In the evening, I prepared for the main pooja.

My mother asked me to keep my face covered and sent me to the other side of the pond because the daughters wouldn’t perform nuptial rituals in their father’s presence.

My grandmother, a group of soldiers, and a few attendees accompanied me.

I knew the king would be there.

The ritual was sacred and proven to confirm the wedding.

My heart beat fiercely as I stepped down the stairs by the pond.

I kept my prayer plate beside me and heard the footsteps of someone descending.

“The King has arrived,”

Suman whispered, and I started my prayers.

I let the sacred burning Diya15 float onto the water.

Closing my eyes, I was all set to see the king’s reflection in the water.

I knew he was standing two steps to the right of me.

I was about to open my eyes when an arrow flew at lightning speed out of nowhere towards the king.

My gaze fell on Rudra's face in the water as he stepped forward to save the king, taking the arrow in his arm. “Ahh….”

Chaos erupted among the attendees, and the surrounding people began screaming at the sudden intrusion.

Rudra guided the king, “This way, your majesty.”

I saw the king leaving because of the sudden attack, and my lips wobbled, not believing I had just seen his face in the water.

I became furious and tried to find him.

But the soldiers surrounded me immediately and asked me, “This way, Princess.”

***

The vision of his reflection in the holy water distraught me as I stumbled back into my chamber and settled on the bed.

My heart throbbed in fear of what I had witnessed earlier.

I saw Rudra's face.

It was supposed to be the King, but….

it was Rudra.

Why? Why him?

The ritual was sacred and solemn.

But he used it for his convenience, deliberately stepping forward to prevent me from looking at the king.

How could he? How dare he do that?

I clutched the bed cover in my hands when there was a loud knock on my door.

“,”

I heard my mother's voice, and I immediately brushed my tears away to open the door.

“Maasa,”

I acknowledged and saw her holding a food platter.

Entering the chamber, she placed the platter on the table and said, “You should eat now.”

Walking to the couch, I sat beside her.

She made a morsel and brought it near my mouth to feed me.

I took it silently when she said, “, you should think about it again.”

I was on the verge of crying.

“Have you heard from Nand yet?”

I asked about my twin brother.

She disappointingly shook her head.

“Nothing.

Since he learned what Rudra did to you, he has secluded himself in the palace of Pratapgarh.

The head commander sent a letter saying he didn't want to talk to anyone.”

She explained and fed me another bite.

“So, how can I think about it again, Maasa?”

I questioned and continued, “I was the reason why Abhinandan left us behind.

He couldn't see me in pain and endure what happened to me.

He thinks he's the cause of it all since he brought Rudra here.

And this did not just break his trust, this broke him from the inside.”

I explained how emotionally imbalanced my brother would have been.

“As I've already told you, maasa, Rudra is a quick-witted man.

He is not the supreme commander of Suryagarh's army for no reason.

I believe he, by now, must have started scheming to claim the throne.

Let’s say he will not attack us, but Abhinandan will one day.

He would want to kill Rudra at some point when he gets over his grief. That war is inevitable.”

I spoke of the future crisis and continued, “And when that happens, I want to stand by my brother's side not as a weakness but as his strength, and my marriage to the King will strengthen us.

If I bear his child, people will adhere to the queen even if anything happens to the King.

At this point, it’s not about me or anyone else, but my brother.

And for him, I don't want to have any second thoughts.

The sooner the better,”

she was in tears by the end.

“I don't know .

I don't know what to do anymore.

I've never been so helpless.

Ever.

On one side, it's you; on the other, it's your brother. You are both equal to me, although we cannot disregard your words. But, the price is too big, my child, we cannot afford it.”

Her lips quivered as she let out how obligated she felt while holding my hand.

“The King is a gentleman, Maasa.

What if he is old? At least, I'll be a queen and nobody will question my virtue.

Because a king and his queen are powerful,”

I justified.

“But your father? He will never let it happen,”

she replied.

I took a deep breath and requested, “You’ll have to convince him, Maasa.

But make sure in the end you choose what is correct—a young man for your daughter or the life of your son and the safety of thousands of people of our empire.”

Standing up, she closed her eyes, allowing the tears to drip down her face.

“That's tougher than death,”

she stated, leaving my chamber.

I wiped away my tears and retired for the night.

Tomorrow was going to be a difficult day.

I had to tell whom I would choose.

I didn't know how to convince my father, as he was impulsive and reactive.

He has always chosen to act on his instincts instead of thinking them through.

But I was no longer bothered about him; it was my brother who concerned me.

My brother, who was in anguish and not in a state to fight a war.

With these thoughts lurking in my mind, I eventually drifted to sleep.

***

I looked at myself in the mirror, inhaling sharply to gather all my energy.

I prepared for the meeting in the palace hall.

However, my trembling fingers and rapidly beating heart weren’t helping my condition.

I placed the veil over my head and looked at Suman, who was waiting for me with the other attendees.

“Shall we go?”

Suman asked.

I nodded.

However, the visuals of everything that occurred in the last two weeks and during Gangaur kept blurring my mind repeatedly.

So, I told them to give me privacy and sank into a chair.

“, are you okay?”

Suman placed her hand on my shoulder and asked when all the other attendees left the chamber.

“I don't know, Suman,”

I palmed my face in dismay.

She sat in front of me, holding my wrists gently.

“What is this about?”

She asked, moving my palms off my face.

I looked at her.

“On one hand, I have my life, dreams, but shattered, trust but broken, and my dignity questioned.

And, on the other hand, I have my family, its honour, and its pride that I've already ruined.

I…want everything to be well-ordered now, no more drama, no more talks, and no more crazy things,”

I vocalised exhaustively.

Inhaling a deep breath, she said, “Don't worry, have faith in God.

What’s meant to happen will happen, no matter how much we deny it.”

I pursed my lips and nodded, agreeing with whatever she said.

“Do you want to stay longer? I mean, everyone must be waiting for you,”

she asked, and I just stared blankly at her.

I could see my life tumbling down—a marriage of convenience for political reasons and a mother’s life ahead.

I didn't know what to expect, but being a queen was better than marrying a young prince who would never respect me.

If the King knew about my affair, most probably everyone present for the swayamvar knew about it.

On top of it, if I married a king from a small state, it meant allowing them to ask for favours.

Therefore, it would be only right to get married in a progressive state.

After Rudra’s betrayal, I lost all trust.

Everyone, in my eyes, seemed like an impostor.

Suddenly, a soft thud caught my attention, as if someone had jumped into my chamber, so I turned to look towards the window.

Rudra slipped in again, and I glanced at Suman, who stood terrified.

I stood up from the chair when he walked towards me.

“Ahh—”

Suman screamed, but in a flash, he took out a dagger and placed it over her throat to threaten her.

“Dare you speak a word, and I'll rip your throat.

Understand?”

Her eyes brimmed with tears as she squirmed in his hold.

“Rudra, leave her,”

I warned him, reaching for his arm to shove him away.

He looked at me furiously and said, “Tell her to stay quiet.”

“She will,”

I quietly said.

He left her and told her, “Get out.”

She looked at me, horrified, and I nodded at her reassuringly.

Once she left, closing the door behind, I stormed towards him.

“What are you doing here, Rudra?”

I asked, enraged upon seeing him, recalling his actions from the night before at the festival.

He put his dagger back in its sheath before looking back at me.

“Giving you a chance to be wise and marry a man who will keep you happy.

What you are doing now out of revenge will only hurt you,”

he stated cruelly, and I held his collar.

The tinkling of my bangles echoed in the chamber.

“Don't act like you care,”

I snarled at him.

He stepped closer and tried to touch me, but I swatted his hand away.

“Whatever happened, happened.

Now, don't ruin your life on that old man.

You don't even know him,” he said.

I pushed him away with all my strength.

“I don't care, Rudra.

I trusted you, and you slapped that right back on my face.

The only purpose of my life now is to destroy you, the way you destroyed me.”

I replied.

His eyes turned red as he marched fiercely toward me and pushed me against the dressing table, causing the few items on it to fall.

Cupping my right cheek and lifting my chin to look into my eyes, he said, “I am not denying you from marrying anyone,”

his voice was low and pleading.

“But, not him, .

You cannot marry my uncle and later become my aunt.

It is equal to being a mother.

You can't do that, considering our past,”

I snickered at him.

“Past???”

I scoffed, ridiculed by him.

“What past? You did not feel anything for me, so there is no past.”

He tightened his hold on my cheek while his other arm wrapped around my waist, freezing me in place as he towered over me.

“We spent a night together.

You confessed your love to me,”

I burst out laughing hard.

“Night? Are you, by any chance, talking of the night when nothing happened? I know you did nothing, and I can prove it.”

He clenched his jaw and crept closer to my face.

“But in the eyes of the people, everything happened between us, and what if you are not able to prove anything?”

I started trembling as I listened to his words, and the thought of him using me in my vulnerable state crossed my mind.

I gulped the huge lump down my throat.

Holding my courage, I replied, “I will and trust me, you will just stand and watch.”

His breath fanned as his eyes scanned my face and at last lowered to my lips, which were quivering with the proximity.

He inadvertently brushed my lower lip with his thumb, and my breathing became uneven, causing me to gasp.

“Ah…”

A low moan slipped through my mouth as I felt his hand stroking my bare waist, gradually creeping towards the front.

“You will not marry anyone but him?”

he questioned in a deep voice, and I looked at his lashes raking between my eyes and lips.

“Yes,”

I made myself clear.

He shook his head, inching his finger towards the hem of my blouse and brushing against the folds of my bosom.

“So you will be mine,”

He mumbled, bringing his lips closer to mine.

“No, I will not,”

I spat back and tried to wiggle out of his hold.

I was alarmed as his lips were almost near mine.

“Yes, you will.

And don't you dare create any drama out there, little would-be wife,”

I froze hearing that.

Only when I felt his finger caress my midriff did I regain my senses and push him away forcefully.

I met his furious and dominant gaze, glaring at me.

Breathing heavily, I said, “You had your chance, Rudra, and if you ever had a tad bit of, for the sake of that affection, just leave me alone!”

He chuckled.

“No, it wasn't affection.”

He jumped over the window.

Once he left, I couldn't keep myself from crying.

Shortly after regaining my composure, I called for Suman.

She rushed in, pushing the doors open with urgency.

Delicately clasping my arms, she asked in a distressed tone, “What did he say?”

I smoothed my dress with my sweaty palms.

“Nothing, just spewing hot air,”

and she frowned at me.

“Let's go,”

I said, pulling my veil.

We both headed to the palace hall.

There was a massive shift in my emotional scale.

I didn't feel nervous anymore; I felt determined.

I gave myself entirely to him, but he shattered me.

He knew that what he was doing would wreck my life, yet he chose to do it anyway.

I couldn't forget how he challenged and ordered me after everything he did.

As I tread inside the palace hall, I could see everyone through my sheer veil, seated at their places.

But as soon as their eyes landed on me, the hall buzzed with the hushed murmurs of the crowd.

Some applauded, some looked amused, while I ambled towards the dais, where my father sat on the throne.

I made myself comfortable on the couch placed right beside the throne.

I raked my sight around and spotted the king in the room.

The herald and my father made announcements.

As my heartbeat pounded loudly in agitation, I became inattentive to whatever was being said.

I snapped back to reality when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“It's time to let everyone know whom you’ve chosen as your husband,”

my mother said, and I thought of my brother, our lively childhood, and the memories we made.

The visuals of something happening to him crossed my mind, so I gathered all my courage and stood up.

My mother joined me as I walked down the dais and looked at all the present suitors.

My heart ached knowing how every woman must go through this: selecting a man with whom she will spend her entire life, making babies and sharing everything.

I have always dreamt of marrying the man I love because the thought of being in a loveless marriage terrifies me.

But in reality, loving a man became my most significant loss.

I loved him with all my heart and chose him above everything, and now, when I look back, those thoughts nauseate me.

Love blinded me to the point that I couldn’t see his true intentions.

I couldn't decipher that he wasn't here for me, but to collect information about our Empire.

I knew he was working hard to claim the throne, but I never considered why he truly wanted it so badly.

He trampled our honour, pride, and emotions just to reach the throne.

And why did he do what he did? For revenge? To avenge his family and ruin us? Did promises matter to him more than consent?

My mother was promised to my father through my maternal uncle, which was purely a political arrangement.

She was never consulted about it.

What he did proves that, for him, the promise was far more significant than a woman’s life and consent.

He believed my parents were to blame for whatever happened to him.

Now, I find myself in the same situation my mother faced years ago.

If we apply the same logic here, why is it that marrying an older man was acceptable for my mother but not for me? If marrying a manwhore was right for my mother, how could it be wrong for me?

I wanted to see how far he would go to stop me from marrying an old man.

Walking past all the men, I stopped a few steps away from the king.

Inhaling a deep breath, taming my tears and collecting all the courage I had left, I began, “I...

Princess of Mahabaleshgarh, daughter of King Rajvardhan Mahabalesh and Queen Abhishree Mahabalesh… choose…The king of….

Suryagarh, King Surgami Dev Singh…as my husband.”

As soon as I finished, the hall resonated with the chaos of astonished people.

“What??”

I heard my father's shocked voice and looked up as he marched toward me.

“…???”

He held my hand and took me to a corner out of everyone’s view.

“Why him?”

He questioned angrily, and I pulled my veil up.

“Raj, calm down,”

my mother tried to appease him, but he seethed at her.

“Calm down?! Can't you see, this girl has lost it.”

My blood ran cold as soon as he looked at me.

“Why him? There are so many men ready to take you as a wife, and you want that old cranky man as your husband,”

he gritted with a deadly glare.

I held my ground and answered, “Other men are not Kings and from a prosperous state.”

He stepped closer, and I lowered my lashes anxiously.

“Are you out of your mind? Since when did you start caring about wealth and status, ?”

I couldn't stop the tears from falling from my eyes, and I nervously uttered, “I am sorry, but I want to be a queen.

I don't want to marry the kings of small states,”

He palmed his face in annoyance and held my shoulder.

“Look at me, ,”

he said, and I did.

“You see...

wealth, titles, position, they don't matter after some point.

The real wealth of life is happiness, not these materialistic things,”

he explained seriously.

“But, who will love me after knowing what I did?” I asked.

“My little girl, any man will fall for you.

You are my daughter, a precious gem.

Tell me, how can someone not love you?”

Trails of tears soaked my cheeks as I said, “You are saying so because you are a father.

But trust me, that's not the truth, and I’m no longer courageous enough to give this feeling a second chance.

Now, I want to be on the safe side, for me, my life, and my family.”

He furrowed his eyebrows.

“What safe side are you talking about?”

I blinked and looked at my mother for an instant.

“King Surgami Dev Singh… He is the safe side for me, for my future, and for us,”

I muttered back.

“How?”

He questioned.

I gathered all my thoughts and reasoned, “If I marry him, I'll be a queen and able to help many people.

You know I love spending time with people and doing something for them.

Therefore, this title will enable me to continue serving the people.

And he is an old man who wouldn't survive for long.

I will be the queen; I will rule. And it will prevent Suryagarh from turning against us. This alliance will establish a correlation between the two states. Rudra will not be able to take the throne, which would prevent a war between Suryagarh and us, a war between him and Abhinandan—”

he cut me off, amid,

“If war happens, I will kill him.

What can a single man do to us?”

I sighed exhaustively.

I desperately continued, “He is not alone, Baapusa.

He is the head commander of Suryagarh’s army, and the soldiers follow him blindly.

Because they believe he is the right successor for the throne.”

“Suryagarh has an invincible army.

Rudra is a great soldier, and our Abhinandan does not deserve it.

If one sacrifice will save thousands of lives, let's opt for it.

And this is not the first time in history.

Political marriages have happened before. Not every queen gets to walk on a bed of roses. Let's accept it. I created this mess, so please let me clear it.”

“The only way to clear this mess is to kill that man. Rudra,”

He sharply exclaimed, and I facepalmed myself.

“No, it's not.

Rudra is the deserving candidate until the King has his heir.

If not for the king, who is still hopeful, the rest have already accepted Rudra as the king.

The soldiers listen to everything he says.

If we kill him, it'll be a disaster. The royal army of Suryagarh will attack us, and possibly Surgami Dev Singh will also lead the war, as Rudra is the logical heir to their empire. Killing him is not the solution.”

I explained the depth of the situation, and he looked toward my mother.

“What has this girl eaten? Why is she talking like Gulaab? She is stubborn like you and acting like a fool.”

His frustration was obvious in his tone, and my mother agreed with me.

“She is right, Raj.

We need to consider the broader perspective.

We know there will be a war if Rudra becomes the King.

The only way to stop him from becoming the King is to get a new heir for Suryagarh.

A marriage alliance shall definitely do it. And, even if the King does not have an heir, will always have power and influence in making decisions as the queen,”

she calmly made him understand.

“As her mother, I know I must not have such thoughts, but I'm a mother to thousands of people, too, Raj.

I can't let so many people die because of my selfishness.

Your sister, too, married the Sultan for the sake of a promise, and I hope you remember the circumstances in which our marriage took place.

My daughter is not weak; she is the strongest among us.

A true queen,”

she said.

Taking my side, she looked at me with faith.

My father sighed tiredly, letting his head fall in dismay.

“You both have just shown how incapable I am.”

I shook my head and held his hand.

“You are not incapable.

We are helpless, and I want to take the responsibility, please.”

He looked at me disappointedly.

“Do whatever you want.

But this marriage will never have my approval.

Now, you're a grown-up and have made your own decisions.

Clearly, I am unworthy of making decisions.

Only you and your mother are intelligent ones here,”

He said, patting my head, and I broke into sobs.

“But, , tell me one thing,”

He requested, and I looked at him.

“Yes,”

He held his breath and asked, “What happened between you two? I want to hear the truth from you.”

My voice trembled as I whispered, “Nothing happened between us, Baapusa.”

Coming forward, he kissed my forehead.

“You can decide for yourself.

I always allowed you to.

But deep down, I hope you'll change your decision.”

I shook my head, symbolising that I wouldn't.

My mother reminded me, “We should go back.

The guests are waiting.”

“One more question, .

Has Rudra ever tried to hurt you?”

I turned my gaze to look at him and denied it.

“No, he could do anything but hurt me.”

He nodded and looked at my mother.

“What's left to see the guests for? Everything is done, can't you see?”

***