Page 15

After completing some rituals, the attendants helped me prepare for the wedding.

Ruhani didn't want to be a part of it.

She was anxious about what would happen, but deep down, I knew what would occur.

The sun was about to set, yet the king wasn’t back.

I felt mystifyingly peaceful, but a part of me was anxious, too anxious.

I was jittery, and thoughts of what consequences would arise if the king never made it back kept running through my mind.

“Shall we make you ready?”

Suman's voice brought me out of my trance, and when I looked at her, she seemed worried.

I asked her to bring the leftover henna.

She creased her eyebrows at me but left to get what I requested.

Upon her return, she gave me the bowl.

I dipped the tip of a feather into the paste and firmly wrote on my hand.

***

“Ranaji30?”

Suman frowned and asked, “Why didn't you write it yesterday?”

I pursed my lips, looked at the name, and said, “Because I felt like writing it now.”

She looked at me, perplexed.

Shifting my gaze toward the ladies present, I asked them to dress me up, and they began their work.

They criticized my outfit, and I slipped into the bridal red lehenga.

However, I struggled to tie it around my waist.

The exquisite embroidery made it too heavy to manage, so I had to ask a lady for help.

I then put on the blouse, and one of them pulled the strings to secure a knot at my back.

“Tighter,”

I instructed her, and laid my eyes on the reflection in the mirror.

Honestly, amidst everything that was happening, I momentarily forgot everything and appreciated the beauty of the bridal dress.

It perfectly aligned with my curves, making my body look truly enticing.

We then proceeded with the jewelry.

They helped me wear intricately designed gold bangles interspersed with red glass bangles, and they slid gold and gem rings onto my fingers.

“,”

suddenly, Ruhani’s voice caught my ears, and I turned to look at her.

She came and sat in front of me on a cushioned stool and asked me in a hurt voice,

“Why are you doing this, ?”

I swallowed a lump of emotion and said, “It is my wedding today.”

“But the king has left and has not come back yet,”

she added in a frustrated tone, while I attempted to distract myself by wearing more rings and bangles.

“He will be back.

He said he would,”

but my unsettled self knew it wasn't true.

The fear and anticipation of what would happen had me on edge.

I couldn't sleep well; I woke up early, and I didn't feel hungry or thirsty.

My heart was in acute sorrow.

The more I tried to hold myself together, the more I felt my peace shatter.

Honestly, I didn't care about the king.

I was worried about Rudra.

I wanted to know if he was okay and hoped to see him once.

I knew he was furious about me spending the night with the king, but he had to understand that revenge is never the right solution.

I knew that from now on, if he ever thought of revenge, he would realize how it ruins lives.

“,”

suddenly, Ruhani's voice brought me out of my reverie, and I looked at her.

“Take your decision back, please don't ruin your life,”

she pleaded, and I shook my head.

“His upbringing differed totally from mine, under different circumstances.

What I witnessed in his eyes the last time I met him was different from what I had ever seen in his eyes,”

she scrunched her brows in wonder.

“What are you talking about?”

she seemed dismayed.

I gave her a thin smile.

“It is my wedding, Ruhani.

You are my cousin, my best friend, and the only sister I have.

Wouldn't you help me get ready? Wouldn’t you make me the most beautiful bride of the night?”

She shook her head with glistening eyes and stood up from the stool.

“I will, of course I will,”

she leaned forward and kissed my forehead.

“I pray you find your peace as soon as possible.”

Tears blurred my vision, and she helped me put on the heavy choker necklace, along with its set of earrings and the headpiece.

Kneeling, she hooked the anklets.

“Stand up,”

she said.

Once I did, she hooked the waist chain around my waist and glanced at me.

“You are looking so beautiful,”

I smiled at her compliment.

She then braided my hair and added gold hair accessories.

“Are you ready?”

my mother asked, walking into my chamber, and I looked at her, smiling in content.

“Privacy,”

she announced, and as soon as everyone in the room left, including Ruhani, she restlessly strode towards me and took a seat on the stool in front of me.

Inhaling a heavy breath, she said, “Rudra has attacked Suryagarh.”

My heart dropped in my stomach when I heard her say that, and she went on to state further.

“He tried to claim the throne, and our informant sent word that the king ran away in the middle of the battle for the throne,”

I gulped, a huge lump forming in my throat, and asked in a trembly voice.

“He…he tried to claim the throne?”

She nodded, holding my hands, and tears started pooling in my eyes.

“Is he fine?”

I cautiously asked.

“We don't know, there is no news of him,”

she said, and my heartbeat escalated.

I stared at her blankly.

“,”

she called me softly.

“I want to ask you something,”

I nodded, gesturing to her to go ahead.

“If Rudra had already claimed the throne, it would be a critical situation for us now.

If he has feelings for you, I think he will be here because he was planning to abduct you.

Now, your father and I want to know, should we welcome him or prepare the army to stop him?”

I paid attention to her words and unhesitatingly replied, “Welcome him.”

“Are you sure?”

She questioned.

“Yes.

If I were to involve the army, I wouldn't have asked you to invite the king for the swayamvar.

Regardless of what, I want a peace treaty between both kingdoms.

And, this could be our chance to defeat him if he plans to attack us,”

She shook her head.

“No, , it is not about defeat or victory.

Your father and I can bring the entire world down for our children.

We could tackle him before, we will now and will always,”

she said.

“But we allowed you to do all this on your own because you were finding it difficult to erase him from your memories, because we wanted the best for you, even if it is the man who tarnished our honour.”

She caressed my hands and added, “Your father and I have dealt with worse.

This is nothing.

No fight is bigger until you make it.

And the way you crossed every limit, not caring about your pride, your title of being a princess, and how you went beyond worldly things, shows how much you loved him.

I just want to know what you want. Keep all this political stuff aside and tell me what you want, just you?”

she asked, holding my face.

The moments I spent with him crossed my mind, blurring my vision.

“I want to talk to him,”

She inhaled a sharp breath and, looking at me, exclaimed, “No, .

I’m asking if you want us to stop him or not.”

I gulped, looking into her eyes.

“Maasa, I want to talk to him for once, please,”

She got up in frustration and said, “, it could be dangerous.”

“He is in pain,”

I pleaded, sobbing brokenly.

I couldn’t speak because I was too exhausted.

Suddenly, a knock on the door interrupted us.

Upon my mother opening the door, I heard faint screams from outside.

Getting up from my chair, I watched Ruhani taking long strides toward me.

“, Rudra is here,”

she stated in a frightened tone, dripping with shock.

“He is wounded… and bleeding… and, oh my god… he has a sword in his hand,”

she huffed unevenly, and I dashed outside immediately, with my mother following suit.

“,”

she ran after me, covering my head with the dupatta.

I hurried toward the palace hall, descended the stairs and reached the royal garden, where the wedding altar stood.

Following the voices, I went near the mandap31 and looked at him beside the priest.

Blood covered him, soaking his clothes and spattering his sword.

My father stepped toward him, and he peered at me.

Stepping down from the mandap, he sauntered toward me.

Looking at his condition, tears clouded my vision, and I whimpered, “Rudra.”

He did not spare me a glance, looking anywhere but at me.

“Rudra,”

my father intervened, holding a sword in his hand, and asked, “What are you doing here?”

Turning to my father, he grumbled menacingly, “Your daughter, the Princess of Mahabaleshgarh, is promised to the King of Suryagarh.”

Taking a step forward, he proclaimed, “I am the King of Suryagarh.”

My father looked at me in a dilemma, probably waiting for my signal.

“I want to talk to him alone,”

I muttered in a low tone, and he turned back to look at me.

Slowly, he held my wrist with his bloodied palm and walked us towards the mandap.

“Dare anyone disrupt the wedding and I will slit the throats,”

He said, and I looked at my mother holding my father back, and to take him aside.

“Rudra, listen to me,”

I held his hand on my wrist as he climbed the stairs.

“Vivaah ke mantroan ka ucchaaran aarambh kijiye, panditji,”

(Start reciting the wedding vows, panditji32) he ordered, and I stared at his face.

He didn't even look at me, ignoring the tears streaming down my face.

As the priest recited the vows, he clasped his sword.

Following the priest’s words, he offered the mixture of dried herbs and leaves to the sacred fire, which was about to bind us in a holy bond of matrimony.

I watched my father run toward Ruhani's father and noticed Haider collapsing to the floor, with everyone screaming at him.

Ruhani's husband picked him up and took him away.

My father looked at me, but I gestured for him to stay put.

He was right.

I was, in fact, promised to the King of Suryagarh for everyone's sake.

The apparent anger on his face scared me, me!

He did not look at me, not even once throughout the wedding.

Panditji then asked both of us to stand up for the saptapadi33.

I saw his soldiers scattered around, holding naked swords.

We stood up to walk around the sacred fire, bound in an indissoluble matrimonial bond.

The priest continued chanting the mantras34 and reciting the promises we were to make to each other with each round we took.

His first vow was to always take care of me, our family, and the children we would have.

And my first promise to him was to take care of the household and provide him and his family with pure and nourishing food.

In our second one, we promised to stand by each other no matter the circumstances.

With the third round, he promised to work unflaggingly to earn wealth for the family, and in return, I promised to manage and preserve that wealth to ensure its prosperity.

In the fourth one, he promised to entrust my decisions and choices regarding the household, and I vowed to strive to make the best home for us.

In the fifth round, he promised to consult me on all matters, and I, in return, promised to take part in and support him in all his endeavours.

Our sixth vow was to stay loyal and faithful to each other.

Just when I finished, he scoffed, “Faithful.”

He laughed without looking at me.

The priest spoke the last vow, in which he promised to fulfil and follow all the promises he had made throughout his life.

I, too, promised to remember all the vows I took and fulfil them with all my heart.

“You both can take seats,”

the priest said, handing him a small silver container filled with sindoor36.

“Now, you may apply this vermilion on the bride’s hairline,”

I looked in my parents’ direction, who turned their eyes away from us, doing the final ritual.

He pinched a good amount of sindoor between his fingers.

I blinked nervously as he filled my hairline with it, a little of which fell on my nose.

Once, twice, thrice….

My body literally shivered at that moment.

In the snap of a finger, I became someone else's.

How simple yet complex the whole concept of a wedding was.

“The marriage is complete.

I now, lawfully and ritually, pronounce you both husband and wife.

You may take the blessings of your elders,”

the priest said.

He instantly stood up from his place and stepped down from the altar.

Wearing his footwear, he said in a low tone, “You have time till morning,” and left.

My mother walked towards me and helped me get down the mandap to take me to my chamber.

Ruhani, her mother, Suman and my grandmother followed us too.

She made me sit on the couch and passed me a glass of water.

With trembling hands, I held it and drank.

My mother knelt before me and told me to put my feet forward.

When I did, she gently slid toe rings on two middle toes in both my feet.

I was married! The realisation struck me like thunder, and tears brimmed in my eyes.

“Why didn't you let your father intervene?”

my mother slowly asked me with tearful eyes.

I turned my gaze down, fidgeting with my dupatta, and answered, “I have so many people who can lift me when I fall, but he has no one.

If I were to stand against him, he would never be able to give life a second chance.

He wouldn’t be able to turn himself into a better person.”

My grandmother sat beside me and held my hands.

Kissing them softly, she smiled and looked at me.

“He is not that bad, you know.

I see another Raj in him,”

I chuckled, listening to her, tears streaming down my face.

My mother sat on my other side and hugged me tightly.

“Keep sending letters to us.

You will have many things to be responsible for in the new kingdom.

Being a queen would not be easy,”

I smiled weakly at her, and, closing my eyes, I nodded.

“Of course, I will,”

Ruhani sat before me and held my hands.

Smiling, she muttered slowly, “I hope everything will go well.”

I blinked at her in assurance.

I was giving everyone hope, smiling to prevent anyone from worrying, but I was terrified and anxious, and I dreaded it from within.

His failure to look at me even once while mocking the vow of ‘faith’ felt so strange, as if he wasn’t the Rudra I knew but a completely different person.

“,”

Suddenly, my father's voice made me turn to look towards the chamber entrance.

He walked in holding a food platter, and my mother moved away to let him sit beside me.

Giving a thin smile, he said, “Time for dinner.”

I nodded with wobbly lips and burst into loud cries.

He immediately hugged me, and I saw my father shedding tears for the first time.

He patted my head and kissed the side of my head.

“Mahabaleshgarh was your home and will always be your home.

You can come here anytime you want; no one will question you.

Remember, whether good or bad times, we will always support you, my little princess.”

I nodded, sobbing in his embrace like a little girl, his little girl, my heart breaking.

“Shhh… stop crying, or people might think I’m starving you,”

I giggled through tears, listening to him.

He smiled, saying, “Consider this your vacation.

Now, you will need energy to cry.

So let’s eat,”

I burst into laughter, and he moved the plate forward.

Beginning with him, everyone in the room fed me one after another, except for Suman, because she was coming with me.

Once I had completed everything on the plate, everybody left, asking me to rest until my departure, leaving me alone with my mother.

“, you are mature enough and even married now,”

she spoke hesitantly, and I listened intently.

“What is it?”

She was fumbling with her words.

“But as your mother, I should….

I must tell you that… I mean, apart from love, marriage is about many other things,”

I frowned at her, not understanding what she was trying to say.

I shook my head in confusion.

“I mean, you love Rudra, and whatever he did made us believe that he loves you too, but you see, marriage is not just about love.

There’s more to it, like physical intimacy...

Since you talk so much with Ruhani, I hope you understand what I'm getting at,”

My cheeks heated up in embarrassment, and I instantly nodded, looking down.

“Yeah… yeah, yes, I mean, yes, I do have an idea,”

I smiled nervously.

She visibly relaxed at my reply and leaned forward to hug me.

“May god give you my happiness too,”

The night grew darker, but I didn't sleep.

Instead, I met everyone before my farewell.

I talked to everyone one last time: my helpers, teachers, cooking companions, friends and the little children I loved playing with.

By the time I was done meeting everyone, it was morning already.

The birds chirping reminded me of me flying away from my nest—my home—to a new home.

My parents, all the relatives, and family members walked towards the main entrance to see me off.

I looked at him, waiting outside for me with his back turned to my side.

“,”

my grandmother pulled me into a warm hug, and we both burst into intense cries.

My voice quavered as I tried to say, “Please take care of yourself, and take the medicinal herbs on time.

I have instructed your attendees on everything, and if they do not behave well, just write to me, okay?”

She caressed my head and kissed my forehead.

“You, too, take care of yourself.

I have others here,”

“I don't trust anyone for you,”

I hiccuped, and she gave me a weak smile, kissing my fingers.

“May god bless you with all the happiness,”

I hugged her again and went to my mother.

She hugged me tightly.

“Please take care of yourself.

Write to us if you need anything.

Never think twice before telling us about anything and everything, .

May god bless you, my little child,”

she muttered between her sobs.

“You too take care of yourself, Maasa,”

she nodded, and I moved towards my father.

He engulfed me in his arms.

“Sadeiv smaran rakhna, garv hai aap humaara,”

(Remember that you’re my pride).

I nodded, and he kissed my forehead.

“Apna dhyaan rakhiyega baapusa,”

(Please take care of yourself), I muttered, holding onto him a little longer.

I then hugged Ruhani, and we both burst into tears.

“Please visit me whenever possible,”

I nodded, pulling away from the hug.

Holding her hands, I said, “Even with a candle in your hand, if you search, you will not find a man as loyal and loving as your husband in the whole world.

Just like this, be happy, always,”

She gave me a pleasing smile and hugged me again.

I met my Buaa then, and she cried, hugging me.

“You are such a brave child, .”

She kissed my forehead and cupped my cheeks adoringly.

“Always remember, the future is what you make.

Never allow him to overpower you; a relationship works when both are equal.

You love him so much now, but trust me when he falls, he'll fall harder...

speaking with experience,”

she advised with a gentle smile, and I nodded.

“Take care, Buaasa,”

I said, looking at Ruhani's father standing beside her.

He adoringly touched my head and said, “God bless you!!! Give it a try, if it does not work, we’ll just kill him together,”

I burst into laughter.

He spoke like my father.

He, too, laughed.

“,”

I looked at Haider.

He smiled, handing me a box.

“This is for you,”

I said, looking at him, wondering what was inside.

“Open it after you reach your new home,”

I nodded and remembered something to ask him.

“What happened to you last night?”

Suddenly, his face turned pale, and he blabbed nervously.

“Nothing, I was okay, I was perfectly fine,”

I furrowed my eyebrows and nodded.

I felt my mother's hand on my shoulder as she walked towards the palanquin.

I wept inconsolably, and I found my father telling him something.

I noticed that he wasn’t saying anything, not even looking at him.

She helped me settle into the palanquin, and the men carried it up.

The cavalcade proceeded, and I sneaked out of the carriage’s window to look at my family.

My father was hugging my mother, and I smiled with tears, looking at everyone.

Soon, their sight began fading as we moved farther from my empire.

The footsteps of the people walking and the horses' clip-clopping calmed my mind, and I fell into a slumber.