Page 42 of Replay (Toronto Blaze #3)

I tried to shove myself upright but my leg twinged. I jabbed at the remote for the bed to lift up my back. I needed Katie’s attention for what I was going to say. The thought of her with me, while I went through rehab? Was great. But not great enough.

“I don’t ever want to stop you from getting your dream.

I got mine, and even if I can’t play again, I did it.

This was what I wanted, and I’ve had years of hockey and lots of memories.

But you’ve always dreamed of getting more education.

Helping people with math like you did me.

I don’t want you to give that up. We’ll work something out. ”

She was biting her lip. Not convinced yet.

“There are other schools, right? Or wait, you didn’t speak to your chairperson yet. Maybe it will be okay. But if not, we’ll find a way.”

“I’m not sure. Nora said when she got pregnant that it made her rethink her priorities and she decided she wasn’t supposed to be a doctor. She’s happy, so…”

I gave her hand a tug, making sure she’d hear. “You talked about some problems you have. And that you don’t need another degree. But you never said you don’t want it. If you do, I promise we’ll make sure you get it.”

She lifted my hand and kissed it. “You always surprise me. I thought you’d be all over having me at your beck and call while you recover.”

“I want you around, don’t get me wrong. But you don’t have to quit school for that.”

She curled up on the bed beside me. “I hate being in limbo like this. Not knowing what’s going to happen.”

“Tell me about it. But if you’re with me, I can wait.”

* * *

Katie

I didn’t want to leave Josh alone at the hospital, but he needed to heal and I needed to study. I left the donairs for him, because he was stuck with hospital food, and picked up some takeout for myself on the way home. I hoped I could focus on math this evening.

Despite talking everything out with Josh, I still had questions. I was going to see the math chair after my exam tomorrow. Did I want to fight the math department to get my degree? Was quitting taking the easy way out, or was I figuring out what my priorities were, like Nora did?

There were lights on in the condo, and Madeline was in the kitchen cleaning up. She raised her brows when she saw me clinging to my own bag of fast food. “I have leftovers in the fridge but it looks like you took care of dinner.”

“I don’t have the bandwidth to prep food, not tonight.”

She wiped her hands on the dish towel. “Anything get resolved yet?”

Despite all the questions and problems, I smiled. No, I grinned.

“I’m going to guess yes.”

“The mother-in-law dragon has been slain.”

“Did I miss something? Are you two married?”

I shook my head. “No.” But we would be. I knew it. “Josh told his mother he was with me and that it was serious. She left, probably pissed with him. I got to see him, and we talked. Cleared up stuff like we should have the first time around.”

“Congratulations. And the rest?”

I pulled out the burger and fries. “I was seriously considering dropping out of the master’s program.”

“No, Katie.” I widened my eyes, surprised at her vehemence. “I’ll just say that I’ve seen that firsthand and it turned out badly.”

I opened the fridge to get some water. “Josh told me I shouldn’t give up. It might be difficult, but it’s my dream.”

“Josh is definitely improving.”

I sat down and took a bite of french fries. “He is. We are. I’m going to talk to the math chair, see what happens. I’m still considering my options, but I’m not giving up on my dreams.”

“Glad to hear that.”

I shrugged. “After my exam tomorrow and my meeting with the math chair, I’ll have to figure out what my future will be.” But it would have Josh in it, so that was one certainty.

Madeline coached me on what I should or shouldn’t say in my meeting while I ate my dinner. She didn’t admit it, but I think she’d been through something similar in her own life. Then I went to my room, determined to study no matter how much my brain wanted to wander.

I rewarded myself for getting through the material by texting Josh. And finally, I slept.

* * *

I sat on my bed, staring at my phone. It was a good thing my exam was over, because my head was spinning.

I hadn’t aced the exam, but I thought I’d done okay. I’d had a hard time focusing since I was meeting the math chair after it, and that meeting had me worried.

For nothing. The woman had understood my issues and knew the prof in question had problems. He was more worried about his own publishing than the career of his students, and his attitude toward women was something the chair had dealt with herself.

If he hadn’t had tenure, I wasn’t sure he’d still be there.

After the holiday break, I was being switched to a new advisor and the chair promised it would be someone I could work with.

That had been an incredible relief. I’d thanked her profusely.

And with that hindrance out of the way, I knew I was going to stay in the program.

I did want this. And fuck what the purists and applied maths people thought—I was going to teach.

To share what I loved about math with others and help the ones who didn’t deal with traditional learning to love it too.

I was ready to take on anything, even Mrs. Middleton.