Page 38 of Replay (Toronto Blaze #3)

Let’s See if Gandalf Had Any Advice

Katie

I was exhausted, sore, worried and irritated when I let myself into the condo. I’d booked the day off sick, so once my shoes were off I headed to my room and collapsed on my bed, fully dressed. I crashed immediately.

I woke to sunlight, a full bladder, and a hungry belly. I stretched out on the bed, and decided peeing and a shower were my top priorities.

Dressed in fresh clothes and feeling clean, I headed to the kitchen for coffee and food.

I set my laptop up on the countertop and got back in touch with the world.

There was nothing from Josh, but the man had just had surgery, so I had to cut him some slack.

I was worried about his mother though. Would she even tell him I’d been there?

I had emails from school, and work to do, but my mind kept returning to Josh. How was he? There was nothing meaningful in the news reports out there. Had he regained consciousness? Would his knee recover? Would he be able to play again?

I picked up my phone and brought up Daniel’s number. I sent him a quick text, asking for news of Josh.

Aren’t you at the hospital?

Run off by Mrs. Middleton. Haven’t heard from Josh.

Let me check and get back to you.

I was still antsy, so I stripped my bed and threw a load of laundry in. Vacuumed my bedroom and cleaned the bathroom. Mindless work that kept me busy but didn’t require me to focus.

Jess pinged, asking how Josh was doing and how I was doing. Jayna and Callie sent messages too. I blinked back tears at the unexpected support. I’d been feeling alone, but these women wanted to be there for me.

Callie promised to ask Cooper for any information he knew, and Jess asked JJ, who didn’t have anything new to offer. I thanked them and explained that Josh’s mother, who was not a fan of mine, had made me leave the hospital.

Finally, Daniel got back to me. He’d arranged with the team to get Josh’s things from the locker room and take his phone to Josh at the hospital. He’d give him the phone with the messages I’d sent and promised to tell him I’d been there and wanted to see him again.

It was a relief to know he hadn’t had his phone, rather than that he hadn’t wanted to reach out to me. By this time, he should be awake and aware. Insecurities still had a grip on me. Josh hadn’t told his mother, so maybe he wasn’t as serious as I’d thought.

I shoved those thoughts aside and passed the news on to the nontraditional WAG club. Then, mostly through force of will, I was finally able to focus on the things I needed to get done related to work and school.

My advisor asked whether the time I’d taken off as sick was for female issues. Was this something that would continue on an ongoing basis in future, so he could be prepared. Asshole. Stupid asshole, since this was December, and I hadn’t taken any sick time to date. Unless he thought I was preg?—

My brain screeched to a halt. What was the date? It had been a couple of weeks since the non-condom sex with Josh, and wasn’t I supposed to have my period now?

Shit. I scrambled to work out timelines. I wasn’t regular, but I was late, wasn’t I? I opened my calendar and counted. I hadn’t definitely missed but if something didn’t happen soon…

I curled up in a chair in the living room, clutching my phone in case Josh reached out. What if… I didn’t even want to think the word. One brief moment of distraction during sex, and this could change my life.

What lousy timing. Josh injured, exams, Christmas break coming up, problems with my advisor—I just wanted to bury my head under a pillow and not come up for weeks.

The sound of the condo door opening jerked me out of my doom spiral. I sat up in time to greet Madeline as she came down the hallway.

As always, she was impeccably dressed—a pantsuit, hair and makeup perfect, carrying a garment bag and rolling a carry-on behind her. You could do a photo shoot for a successful professional with how she looked all the damned time.

“Hi.”

She frowned at me. “Are you all right?”

I closed my eyes and sighed. “Honestly, I’ve been better.”

“Wine, ice cream, talk, or rom-com?”

“Not wine.” If I was…well, better not wine.

“Let me put this away and I’ll be back out shortly.”

I puffed out a breath. Should I talk to her, or tell her it was just one of those days? The NT-WAGs wanted to get together for a support session, but Jayna was out of town and Jess was sick. It would be a few days before we could find a time we were all available.

But my roommate? I could talk to her. If I was going to upchuck every morning, she’d soon know about that particular problem.

Madeline came back down the hallway, hair pulled into a ponytail, cashmere sweats on. I sighed. It wasn’t like I couldn’t be look more like her if I really worked at it, but I didn’t want to that badly. Especially not now. But damn, the woman was put together.

Josh hadn’t gotten back to me yet. Had his mother done something, or had Daniel not given him his phone? Maybe he’d heard bad news and he wasn’t talking to anyone? Or was it just me?

My brain couldn’t focus on any one thing. I was a mess.

Madeline came over with a pint of gourmet ice cream, a couple of bowls and spoons. “Do you want to talk or just turn on a movie?”

“I want to pretend none of this is happening, but I can’t. Would you mind if I dumped on you to try to sort things out?” Madeline would never get into a mess like this, but hopefully she wouldn’t judge me.

“I won’t pretend I’m the best at advice, but I can be a sounding board.” She passed me a bowl with salted caramel ice cream and a spoon.

“Thanks.”

Once she’d placed a smaller amount in a second bowl, she took the carton back to the freezer. “This is the good stuff, so bring on the problems.”

I gave her a half smile. “I have more than one, so be prepared.”

“I meant to ask, how is Josh? I’d heard he was injured.”

I held up one finger. “That’s problem one.” I gave her a recap of what had happened with Josh, his mother, Daniel…everything up to now.

She licked her spoon, eyes on me. “For now, that’s all you can do, and that’s frustrating. When will Josh get his phone?”

I pulled up my own—still no messages. “I’m not sure. Daniel had to go to the arena and get Josh’s stuff, including the phone, before heading over. And he’s still got his own life, practices and stuff to deal with, so I don’t want to bombard him with my own worries.”

“Let’s finish the list of problems before you reach out again. What’s next?”

Next. Well, this was one she could help with. “My advisor is a misogynist, and it’s hobbling my ability to do my research project.” I gave her a synopsis of the issues I’d had.

“Is there some kind of hierarchy in place so that you can report his behavior?”

I huffed. “Yeah. I wrote an email, but I haven’t sent it yet.”

“Why not?”

I shrugged. “I don’t want to make a fuss? I mean, other women must deal with this. And what if it backfires? He gets pissed and nothing else changes.”

She pointed her spoon at me. “I’ve dealt with this kind of bullshit. I can tell you from experience that ignoring the problem does nothing to help, just reinforces that mindset.”

Nora had told me that when I talked to her. If I wanted something I had to push for it.

I grabbed my laptop and flipped it open. “You’re right. And this is one thing I can deal with.” I called up my email program, found the draft and closed my eyes. “There’s no going back if I do this.”

“Do you want to go back or forward?”

“Good point.” I opened my eyes and hit the send button. “Done.”

“How does that feel?” Madeline was watching with a trace of a smile on her face.

I swirled the spoon in the remaining ice cream in the bowl till it became a soup. “Good. But also, terrifying.”

“Is there anything more you can do right now?”

I slumped back in my seat. I should study for my next exam, but my brain still wasn’t focusing. I needed to talk to Josh, but I couldn’t. And if I was… Nope, that one I couldn’t handle at the moment. Maybe tomorrow. “If there is, I’m not going to be able to do it.”

“Rom-com?”

“Honestly, I’d prefer Lord of the Rings .” Nothing romantic, no advisors or disapproving mothers. They just had to save their world, and at this particular point in time, that seemed like a good alternative.

“I think I saw those movies when they came out.” She didn’t sound like a fan.

“We can watch something else, then.”

“No, let’s give it a go.” She shot me a glance. “I think you need this.”

I stopped resisting. I did need that comfort. Let’s see if Gandalf had any advice that would help me make my decisions.