Page 39 of Replay (Toronto Blaze #3)

A Dumb Jock

Josh

Hospitals were not great places to stay. I was spoiled, having stayed in pretty nice hotels when we traveled, but the constant interruptions, the embarrassing hospital gown, the tasteless food and the lack of Katie all made me restless and uncomfortable.

And on top of that, more anxiety than I had dealt with in a long time.

It was hard to get a proper sleep, despite being exhausted, not only because of people checking on me and the noise and strange smells, but because I was desperately afraid I might not be able to play hockey again.

I was only twenty-four. It wasn’t supposed to be over yet.

Mom had gone to a hotel at the end of visiting hours.

I wished Katie could come, but I knew she had her own stuff to deal with and I didn’t have a phone to even message her.

Since we’d agreed on being friends again, I’d at least texted her almost every day and had upped that once we started dating.

I missed that contact with her. It would settle me, I knew it.

I had a restless night.

In the morning, the doctor came by and I had a chance to get some answers about my future.

She was careful and didn’t want to promise something that might not happen, but there were too many technical words and a lot of probably and likely in her explanation.

I wanted a simple answer: Would I be able to play hockey again?

And if I did, would I be able to play well enough to be in the NHL?

Worrying about getting traded to Seattle didn’t seem as big a deal as whether I’d even be wanted there anymore.

“Bottom line—is my knee going to get all the way better?”

The doctor sighed. “I know you want a guarantee. Unfortunately, I can’t provide that. But if you do the therapy without overdoing it, your knee should regain almost one hundred percent of its former strength and mobility.”

“But not one hundred percent?”

She shrugged. “The only way to find out is to follow the recovery process and see what happens.”

I understood—she couldn’t give me a hard promise. Shit happened. But I wanted the best idea of what would happen. “Can you tell me, out of all the times someone has had this operation, how it’s worked out?”

She narrowed her eyes. “Do you want me to include the eighty-year-old woman I operated on last month?”

My jaw dropped. “Um…probably not.”

“Should I maybe narrow the participants to only include athletic males in their twenties?”

I dropped my head back on the pillows. “I get it. So, there’s nothing more you can tell me?”

“I’m sorry. I know this is your vocation. But an athlete in his twenties has a lot of factors in his favor. If he doesn’t overdo it.”

There was a lot of talk about not overdoing it. “I hear you. When do I start rehab?”

“You need to recover from surgery, and then someone will assess you. There are some exercises you can start right away, and a therapist will be by to show those to you. Your team will help set up a program for you.”

That was encouraging. The team was going to work with me. They had to be pissed about me getting injured, but I was still valuable to them.

The doctor left, and I was poking at some sort of eggs that I’d been served when Mom arrived. Right behind her was Fitch. I was glad to see my mother but overjoyed to see Fitch.

“Good morning,” my mom said, then turned when she realized the man behind her had followed her in. “Excuse me, who are you?”

“Mom, that’s my roommate, Fitch. It’s good to see you, Fitchie.”

He raised an eyebrow my way but greeted my mother politely. “Good morning, Mrs. Middleton. I’m Daniel Astrom. I brought a few things for him.”

“My phone?” I needed to get in touch with Katie.

“Yes, your phone, some clothes, and—” He pulled a hand from behind his back with a bag showing the Golden Arches on it. “Breakfast.”

“Best roommate ever,” I vowed.

My mom frowned. “Maybe that’s not the right thing to be eating, Josh.”

I grabbed the bag from Fitch. “It’s way better than what the hospital sent me. I’ll be back on my meal plan soon.” I tore the bag open and groaned at the greasy smells wafting up. I shoved the hospital tray aside and pulled out hash brown patties and a couple of wrapped sandwiches.

“Wasn’t sure what you liked, so I got a few things.”

I shoved a bite of hash brown in my mouth. “Right now, I like all of it.”

He grinned and then passed me my phone. “Clothes and toiletries are in the bag.”

I dropped the patty and took the phone, waiting impatiently while it recognized my face and opened.

There were millions of notifications, but I made my way to my conversation with Katie.

There were a lot of messages from her, but they stopped after yesterday morning.

I needed to read them, but I wanted to do that on my own.

I quickly sent a message to reassure her.

Just got my phone. I’m okay. Will talk later. Love you.

My mother had taken the bag of clothes and started to put them in my closet. “Hey, I’d like to put those sweats on instead of this stupid gown.”

“They won’t fit over the brace.”

“I’ll rip them.”

“I brought some shorts—you can probably put those on when you’re not all hooked up,” Daniel assured me.

Right. I had tubes and needles and some of those were in very private places. “Thanks, Fitch.”

“Glad to see you’re looking better, Ducky. I’ve got to get to practice. I’ll tell the team you’re doing good. They’ll be stopping by, if that’s okay.”

Mom frowned, but I didn’t let her fuss. Before talking to Katie, I’d have assumed she was worried about me, but now I was trying to figure out if it was more than that.

Katie was probably right that Mom was still a little possessive, but if I didn’t like it, it was up to me to tell her to stop.

And right now, seeing my teammates was what I wanted. “That would be great.”

He smiled and leaned down, as if to fix my sheet. “Katie’s anxious. Your mother made her leave.” His voice was barely a whisper. He straightened up. “Okay, you should be good for now. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Middleton.” He left.

I needed to have a serious conversation with my mother.

“So that’s your roommate? He’s a little older.”

“He was traded from Edmonton this summer. He’s a good guy.”

She finished with the closet and turned around, frowning. “I still don’t understand why you need a roommate.”

“I like the company. He’s new, so I’m helping him get to know the city. And he cooks.”

“That’s all well and good, but while you recover, you’re going to need a lot of help. I could take care of you…”

There was my cue. I’d put this off, thinking I’d wait till I knew things were serious with Katie before upsetting Mom. But that was just avoiding the problem because talking to my mom was difficult. Katie deserved someone who stood up for her, and I needed to act like an adult.

“Don’t worry. I have a girlfriend and she’ll help me.” And if she was busy, I could hire in-home care.

“You didn’t tell me you’d started dating. Don’t you think I should meet her?”

“You already know her. Katie Baker.”

She froze in place. “Katie Baker.”

I braced myself.

“How long has this been going on?” Her voice was accusing.

“I told you when I met her before the season started.”

She sniffed. “And you think that was an accident?”

“I know it was an accident.” Mom was not going to like this, but I wanted to make it perfectly clear that Katie had not organized our meeting so that she couldn’t use it against her.

I pushed up against my pillows. “I met someone at a bar and went home with her. She was a hookup. We both knew it was just sex.”

Mom’s lips were pursed.

“When I got to her place, Katie was there. They’d just become roommates.

If you think there’s some way Katie made that happen, that I met her roommate at a bar and she asked me to go home with her so that Katie could meet me?

You’re insane. It was a terrible way to see her again, and I had to work hard to get her to trust me enough to be a friend.

And just recently to be more than that.”

Mom spoke. “You were too young back in high school to get that serious. I think you’re confusing nostalgia for something more.” Her arms were crossed, her expression grim. She really didn’t like Katie. Was it a control thing, like Katie thought?

“Maybe we were young, but we’re not now. She’s not taking advantage of me. I’ve had to deal with people doing that, and Katie is different. Why don’t you like her?”

She wouldn’t meet my eyes. “I just don’t think she’s good for you. You have a demanding career, and you need a certain kind of person to support that. She won’t do that—her parents have pushed her to put her career first.”

That was true, but it wasn’t an insurmountable obstacle. “I’m sorry you feel that way. Because she’s perfect for me.”

“How would you know? You’ve never dated anyone else.”

I closed my eyes for a moment. “I didn’t tell you, but do you really think I’ve spent five years as a professional hockey player and not had a chance to meet women? A lot of women?”

She blinked. “But you never dated. ”

“Nothing serious. Because I could never find anyone better than Katie.”

“You didn’t really try.”

“Yes, I did. I never thought I’d see Katie again, and I wanted to have what we had back then. I never found anyone who made me feel the way she did. When I saw her that night, I knew I’d do anything to get her back.”

Mom didn’t answer for a minute. I braced myself for an argument. “You won’t listen to anything I have to say, then.”

“Not if it’s against Katie. She’s…when I’m with her, I don’t feel like a dumb jock.

She makes me feel smart. She doesn’t want me to buy her stuff, like a lot of women do.

She just likes being with me. She’s more interested in talking to me about Star Wars than hockey.

No one else is interested in that Josh.”

“That’s why she was in your hospital room when I arrived.”

I shrugged. “I guess. I didn’t even know she was here, except she left her tablet.”