Page 38 of Reluctant to Love
18
Roderick
The next day, I take the girls to Empire Stores to go shopping. Izzy needs her own room so Eleanor and I can reclaim some privacy. Living alone meant prioritizing only the space I needed but now that Eleanor and Izzy are in my life, those empty spaces will soon be filled. We browse the lone furniture shop and pick out pieces for Izzy’s room. Eleanor’s face is pinched with worry the entire time.
“What’s wrong,” I ask her as we contemplate a variety of twin beds.
“This place is expensive,” she says.
I run a hand over my neck and look her square in the eye. “I have money, Ellie.”
“Don’t remind me,” she scoffs.
“What bothers you so much about it?”
She scrunches up her face and shrugs. “It just feels weird. Like, you’re taking pity on me.”
“I’m not doing this because I have to. I’m doing this because I want to. Truth is, if you hadn’t come back into my life and brought Izzy, those rooms would still be empty. So, really, you’re doing me a favor.”
“Please don’t make a joke out of this. I should be able to provide all of these things for her. She’s my daughter.” The last part she whispers as her eyes dart around to see if Izzy is nearby.
I grasp her upper arm and pull her close. “She’s my daughter too. You’ve been taking care of her alone since she was born. You have to let me help. You have to let me start learning to be her father.”
Her head falls and the top of it hits me squarely in the chest. “You’re right. Thank you for doing all of this.”
With a finger under her chin, I tilt her face, so she sees my Cheshire cat smile. “This is for purely selfish reasons, sweets. Our little girl needs her own bedroom so I can have my wicked way with you.”
I kiss her quickly but not quick enough. There’s a little squeak and both of our heads turn to see Izzy standing ten feet away with eyes as big as saucers.
“Hey Izzy,” I say with a slight tremble to my voice. “Is that the bed you want?”
“You kissed mommy!”
Eleanor hides her face behind her hands, and I can sense her embarrassment.
“Yes, I did. Is that ok?”
She places her tiny finger over her lips and taps them. “Do you like her?”
“Yes,” I answer.
“Do you love her?”
“Very much.”
“Okay,” she says with ease and then skips away.
I let out a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding. “Shit,” I mutter.
“Is it over,” Eleanor asks, peeking out from behind her hands.
“Yes, and it was a lot easier than I expected.”
“Just wait until we tell her the other truth.”
From the corner of my eye, I spot a familiar head of raven-black hair.Famke. I reach into my pocket, pull out my wallet and hand Eleanor some cash. “I’ll finish paying for everything and set up delivery. Why don’t you go and get some dinner?”
“Oh, okay,” she says, shoving the money into her pocket.