Page 23 of Reluctant to Love
11
Eleanor
“So, that was Roderick?” My mother’s voice is amused.
“Yep,” I say. “That’s Roderick.”
When we first arrived at the hospital, my mom gave us both a few minutes alone with Izzy.
“You did a very brave thing letting him come up here.” She comes up beside me and wraps her arm around my shoulders.
“He should know his daughter. It was wrong of me not to tell him for so long.”
I let her wrap me up in a tight hug and I inhale her familiar comforting scent. Lavender and vanilla. We sit down in the hard chairs outside of Izzy’s room. “What are you going to do,” she asks me.
“About what?”
“About Roderick.”
I lean my head back and sigh. “I have no idea. He said he would move here so it would be easier for us to get back together.”
“Do you want that?”
That’s the million-dollar question. “Maybe I should ask the cards.”
My mother huffs out a laugh. “You want to ask the cards? Please, you’re the most logical person I know, Eleanor. No, you don’t need the cards or anything else to tell you what to do. You simply need to listen to your heart.”
“My heart is an idiot, Mom.”
She shakes her head firmly. “Your heart is very wise. Listen to it for once in your life.”
Her statement is full of irony because I listened to my heart once before and it ended badly. I stand up and peak in Izzy’s room. She woke up for a minute and Roderick freaked out. I could tell he was worried she saw him from the way he fled her room. But his promises echo through my thoughts.
Can I really trust him not to break my heart again? Not to break his daughter’s heart?
My phone buzzes in my back pocket and I pull it out. There’s a message from Roderick.
Roderick: Staying at a hotel nearby. It’s not the Ritz but it’s close enough to the hospital.
Me: Okay.
Roderick: Please call me in the morning.
Me: Okay.
I slip my phone into my bag and walk into Izzy’s room. She looks so tiny and fragile in the hospital bed. The only encouraging news is her fever is finally starting to break.
I pull a chair up beside her bed and reach out to grasp her little hand in mine. My thumb brushes over the back of it and I hum her favorite song softly. I carry so much guilt in my heart, but I can start moving forward by letting Roderick into his daughter’s life. I can give Izzy something I denied her for far too long.
I take in the room and notice the collection of crystals on the table next to the bed. All I can do is roll my eyes at my mother. Crystals, horoscopes, tarot cards… she puts her faith in all of them and now it’s time for me to put my faith in Roderick.
I stand up, lean across the bed to brush a kiss against Izzy’s cheek and then quietly slip out of her room.
“Can you stay with her for a little while longer?” I ask my mom.
She gives me a knowing smile and nods. “Of course.”
“I won’t be long,” I tell her, gathering up my bag.