Page 19 of Reluctant to Love

“Alright. Keep me posted.”

Our conversation ends and when I glance back toward the doorway, Roderick is still waiting with an expectant look on his face.

My walls crumble a little more because I want to share this burden with him. For once, there’s someone to carry the weight when it gets too heavy.

“Give me five more minutes,” I tell him in a soft voice.

He steps forward and slips his hand over my shoulder and around my neck. “You don’t have to do any of this alone,” he whispers before he leans down to brush his lips against mine.

My hand trembles as I reach up to fist his shirt.Just give in, I tell myself.Let him take care of you. My hand falls away and I take a step back.

“I have to finish packing.”

He gets the hint and leaves me along until I emerge from the bedroom with my luggage in hand, which he takes from me. “How is she doing?”

“No change,” I reply. “Let’s go.”

* * *

Lady Luck is rarelyon my side but today, she seems to be smiling down on me. In the cab on the way to the airport, Roderick pulls out his phone and asks, “Where do you live?”

“You mean you don’t know?”

“No, I don’t. If I did, do you think I would have waited four years to see you again?”

“Cleveland,” I mutter.

His fingers fly across the screen of his phone until he says, “All booked. We don’t leave for a few more hours which gives you plenty of time to tell me about my daughter.”

“Listen, just because you knocked me up doesn’t mean you’re just going to waltz into her life... into our lives. It’s more complicated than that.”

“Jesus, sweets. I know it’s complicated. Just give me a fucking chance to prove myself.”

I turn in the seat and face him, “Roderick, I don’t give a fuck about you right now. That might sound harsh to you but the moment I found out I was pregnant, my life became about her. She is the reason I even bother to still dream about being an author. I want to give her a better life.”

When he reaches out to thread his hand through my hair, I recoil but he doesn’t let me go. He holds firmly and draws me toward him. “Stop running.” For one moment, I allow myself a moment of weakness. I lean into him, inhaling his spicy warm scent. He strokes his hand through my hair over and over until I relax against him. “Your dream is going to come true, Eleanor.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Caroline sold your book. She told me today when I met with her.”

I pop up and stare at him through narrowed eyes. “Why were you talking to Caroline about me?”

His smile is easy, and he gathers me right back into his embrace. “I couldn’t help myself, sweets. I wanted to know what she thought of your book.”

My book. My very personal book about a single mom. “So, is that how you found out?”

“When she told me what it was about and that you were a single mom, I put two and two together.” He says it so casually, like finding out he has a child is no big deal.

“I was going to tell you, especially after I found out Izzy was in the hospital. I knew you wouldn’t just let me leave the convention without an explanation.”

“As soon as we get to the airport, call Caroline and explain.” He hugs me tighter and then kisses the top of my head. “We’ll figure everything out, sweets. You just have to stop being so damn stubborn.”

The cab drops us off at the airport and once we make it through security, I take the time to call my mom.

“I got a flight,” I tell her. “It leaves in a few hours and I’ll get in very late.”

“I can leave here for a bit to come and pick you up,” she says.