Page 11 of Reluctant to Love
“Why are you staring at me like that?”
“It’s been four fucking years, Ellie. Four fucking years and now, you’re sitting in front of me and… I want to kiss you. I want to touch you. I want to take you in my arms and never let you go.”
“But what if I have to pee?”
He slams his hand down on the table, rattling the dishes and silverware. “Dammit, Eleanor! I’m being fucking serious.” He pinches the bridge of his nose between his fingers before returning his gaze to me. “I can’t ask you for a second chance and not be completely honest with you. I knew you were coming to World of Books.”
I want to feel shocked, but I don’t. Deep down, running into Roderick last night felt too coincidental.
“How did you know?” My voice is quiet but hard.
“The agent you’re meeting? She’s my agent too.”
I look away. Suddenly, it feels as if all the hard work I put into preparing for this event was for nothing. The meeting I prayed for was a hand-out from Roderick’s guilty conscience.
“Is that why she agreed to meet with me? Because you told her to take pity on me?”
He shakes his head. “No. Absolutely not. She didn’t say anything. I kind of saw her schedule during one of our meetings.”
“How am I supposed to believe you didn’t have a hand in getting me that meeting?”
He holds up his hands and shrugs. “I don’t know Eleanor but just because I lied about one thing doesn’t mean I’m a liar.”
The absurdity of his statement makes me laugh. “You lied about being married, Roderick! And you didn’t just lie to me, you lied to Famke.”
He scowls. “If you only knew the lies she told me.”
“I don’t care about any of that. I gave you more than just my heart. I gave you my words.”
He winces. “I’m sorry about the writer’s block, sweets.”
I shake my head. “I’m not talking about writer’s block. I’m talking about thousands of my words in your books.”
“You signed an NDA, Ellie. You agreed to the ghostwriting relationship. I can’t do anything about giving you credit.”
“If I knew how big Tristan and Yseut’s story was going to become, I would have asked for more money.”
His eyes widen and his handsome face twists with anger. “Do you want more money? Are you only indulging me in these little chats because you want more money?”
“If you knew how desperate I was during these last few years…” It’s hard to think about how easy he’s had it while I’ve struggled and not be jealous or angry. If it hadn’t been for Famke, could his life be mine too? I shake the thoughts from my head. “No, I don’t want any money.”
“Then what do you want, if anything, from me?”
I sigh. “The only thing you’ve offered me so far, honesty.”