Page 32 of Reluctant to Love
“Let’s hear it.”
“You and Izzy can stay with me.”
Suddenly, my mother’s real plan is revealed. She’s forcing my hand. So much for letting fate decide. “No, I couldn’t ask you to do that. I’ll call Caroline and talk to her about the sale of my book. Maybe I can get the advance on royalties a little quicker.”
He slides his hand across the table and grabs hold of one of mine. “You’re running from me, sweets. Stop it.”
I let out a nervous breath. “Wouldn’t you run too if your life was suddenly upended? If people were making decisions for you?”
“That depends.”
“On what?”
“On whether or not I had someone who loved me.”
I lift my gaze slowly to meet his. I can see how much he wants this in his eyes. They’re silently begging me to give in, to give him the chance he’s asking for to become not only the man I desire but the father Izzy needs.
The walls around my heart begin to crumble a little more.
“It’s too much,” I say with a shaky breath.
“I’ll be here,” he reassures me, squeezing my hand. “But only if you’ll let me.”
“It’s not as if I have any other place to go,” I mumble.
One corner of his mouth lifts slightly. “As if I’d let you go anywhere else.”
As if on cue, my mom strolls into the dining room with a very satisfied look on her face. “Have you two worked it out because I need to sign these contracts and send them back over to the general contractor.”
“Yes, mom. It’s all worked out.”
“Good. Now the both of you can help me pack up because demolition starts next week.”
“Unbelievable,” I mutter, even though I shouldn’t be surprised. My mom has always had a keen sense of what’s good for me, even when I resist because her methods are often illogical and impractical.
“I guess I need to find a rental fairly quickly.” We both turn our eyes to Roderick who looks just as smug as my mother. All of her scheming helps his cause.
I excuse myself to go and check on Izzy, who’s sleeping on the couch. I sit beside her and stroke her hair slowly with my hand. She’s so adaptable which means I don’t have to worry about how she’ll handle the upcoming changes. But I wonder how she will react once she finds out about Roderick. She’s never asked about a father because she’s too young to truly notice one has been missing from her life, but I’ve worried about it for a long time.
Roderick appears in the hallway. “Hey,” he calls softly. “Come and talk with me.”
I place a soft kiss on Izzy’s forehead before walking over to him. He slides his arms around my waist and pulls me against him. His solid strength is exactly what I need to ground me because I feel untethered.
“I know that look in your eyes.” His breath tickles my skin. “I’ve seen it before. You’re feeling overwhelmed.”
“This isn’t finals week,” I joke. “And I’m not getting ready to pitch an agent.”
He brushes his nose along the column of my neck as his hold on me tightens. “No, it’s not. This is your life.”
“I’m glad someone realizes it.”
“Don’t joke. If you don’t want to stay with me, you don’t have to. We’ll figure something out. I’ll do whatever I can to make you feel comfortable.”
I close my eyes and lean into his embrace, into his warmth. He’s giving me a way out and I desperately want to take it. I want to keep running from these feelings for a little while longer, but I know my time is up.
It’s time to let him in completely. It’s time to open myself up and become vulnerable once more because I’d be a fool to pass up the love he’s freely offering.
My hand grips his sweater as I lift my face and reach up to brush my lips against his. My kiss tells him my decision. I want him; I want a second chance. I’m ready to abandon rational thought and give into the universe’s unknown plan as long as he’s there to hold me every step of the way.