Page 26 of Reluctant to Love
She laughs loudly and it fills the entire room. “That’s not what I meant. Come here.” She pushes herself further onto the bed, making room for me. I ease myself beside her and she turns on her side, letting her eyes roam over me. Her hand looks so small as it traces the curve of my hip and up my ribcage. “You’re so solid. Like a rock. I’ve missed your physical presence.”
She places a kiss on my chest, teasing my nipple with her tongue.
“I like the way you take up so much space,” she says. “There isn’t room for anyone else.”
I reach behind her, letting my hand glide down her back to cup her backside. I pull her tight against me and bend my head to kiss her shoulder.
“I need you,” she pleads, tears spilling from her cheeks. “I need you inside of me, filling me. I’ve felt so empty, Roderick. You don’t even know.”
I reach down to grasp my cock lightly in my fist. I nudge her thighs open and notch the tip against her entrance. “Yes, I do,” I moan as I plunge into her. “Because I’ve felt the exact same way.”
For four years, I’ve been nothing more than a shell. When our relationship ended, she took my heart and my soul with her. Now that we’ve been reunited, I’m reclaiming a part of myself I thought was long gone.
She braces herself against my shoulders and gasps as we roll slightly until I’m on top of her. “Are you okay,” I ask.
She nods. “Yes.”
I give her another minute before I pull out and then sink back in. I do my best to go slow, to savor every minute we’re together. My hands glide along her body, touching and teasing, and my mouth covers one breast, tasting it before moving onto the next. Our bodies move together in complete harmony, like they’ve been waiting for this moment too. Being inside of her, feeling her walls grip me, is heavenly. I’m desperate to make this last for the both of us but with every thrust, I feel myself moving quickly toward release. There’s no holding back; it’s time to reclaim what’s mine.
As if she can read minds, Eleanor’s legs wrap around me tightly, squeezing me, pulling me deeper inside of her. My pace increases sharply, almost painfully, as our bodies collide over and over until finally, I explode.
I’m so caught up in my own orgasm I don’t realize Eleanor’s trembling form beneath me. I pin her hips to the bed with my hands and thrust deeply and slowly, hitting her clit with each pass. Her eyes are squeezed tightly shut and her entire body is a tense, shuddering mess until she screams out and her entire body collapses against the bed.
She looks so fucking beautiful with her flushed cheeks and sweat glistening along her brow. Her eyes are bright and blue as they land on me. I lean down and kiss the tip of her nose.
“I’m sorry sweets.” My voice is low and hoarse. “I tried to make it last.”
I start to pull out when I realize the mistake we’ve made. No, the mistake I’ve made. We didn’t use protection. How stupid can I be? Stupid enough to believe she won’t notice.
I scoot off the bed, careful not to make eye contact, and walk quickly to the bathroom. I run a washcloth through hot water and return to the bedroom, where Eleanor is sitting up with a frightened wide-eyed expression on her face.
“Roderick,” she whispers, running a hand through her hair.
I rush toward her, dropping the washcloth on the floor and wrap my arms tightly around her. “I’m sorry,” I murmur into her hair. “I wasn’t thinking.”
“Don’t worry about that,” she says shyly. “I’m on the pill. It’ll be okay.”
I sag against her, relieved I didn’t completely fuck up. She brushes her lips softly against my shoulder. “Thank you.” Her words brush against my skin.
“For what?”
“For reminding me what it feels like to be alive again.”