Page 31

Nox

“Bastian, this has to wait,” I say softly. There’s nothing resembling privacy here. Not with the Yothians’ superior hearing ahead of us and Siobhan’s behind us. “We can’t stop.”

“There’s no need to stop.” He matches my tone perfectly. Apparently there’s no need for secrecy, either, because he starts right in. “Siobhan is hiding something from us.”

I glance over my shoulder, but Siobhan has her hood pulled low, concealing her face entirely. It’s tempting to use a little wind to push it back to see what her expression is saying, but Bastian takes my arm, distracting me.

“Haven’t you noticed?” He pitches his voice lower yet. “She’s been saying goodbye.”

I don’t want to admit that I’ve been too tangled up in the reckless joy of having them in my bed to register the deeper layers. It’s been so long since I’ve let myself fall; I’m simply enjoying the freedom of giving myself over to gravity. When I’m with them in bed, I can almost believe that maybe we do have a future. I assumed her ferocity was normal. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know.” He curses softly. “She won’t talk to me. I just know something is wrong.”

I push a branch out of the way and hold it for him to duck under. “Are you sure it’s not your own anxiety informing this belief?”

He opens his mouth, pauses, and shoots a guilty look at Siobhan. “No. I’m not sure of that.”

“We’re out of time, Bastian. If she won’t talk to you, she’s not going to talk to me, either. We’ve all agreed the horn is the best choice for a path forward. Turning back now is out of the question.” The air is a physical weight against my skin, causing sweat to slide down my spine and pool at the small of my back. I’d rather be soaked in salt water than deal with this discomfort, but there’s nothing to do about it except endure. “We have to at least try to see it through.”

“I know,” he says miserably.

There’s nothing more to be said. We might not be in battle yet, but the same rules apply. Once you commit to an action, you better not second-guess yourself or change course. The desire to minimize losses inevitably results in more dead people than there would have been if you remained committed to the original plan. Or maybe that’s the insidious glory of hindsight, to think that there was always a better way where less people died. I don’t know. Foresight isn’t one of my gifts, and for all that it leaves me at the mercy of my own choices, I still prefer things this way. It’s better not to know for sure that things would have been better if we took a different route.

There isn’t a different route available, though. Not in this. Our only chance is to blow the damn horn and summon the damn C?n Annwn and hope they don’t kill us on the spot. Maybe they will. Maybe that’s what Siobhan believes, and why she’s said goodbye in the only way she can stomach. I don’t fault her for it. I very much do not want to die, but death comes for us all at one point or another. Might as well make it count.

Cye makes a happy noise that’s almost a purr and bounces on their toes. “Almost there.”

Within a few minutes, we’ve left the claustrophobic closeness of the jungle behind and emerged onto a beach with pristine white sand. It’s the kind of beach poets wax on about and painters spend days twisting themselves into knots to re-create. It hardly looks real.

Because it isn’t.

Dao pounces on what appears to be air, and the entire beach ripples . I watch in shock as the image flickers and flickers again, finally fading away to a significantly narrower spot with grainy sand beneath our boots and a trio of ships bobbing gently just past the surf.

I glance at Cye, who purrs again. “We aren’t without defenses.”

“I see that.” I shake my head. The thing Dao jumped on is a large crystal glowing a gentle green. I’ve never seen anything like it, but Bastian watches it like it’s a snake about to strike. I nudge him. “Relax.”

“That’s a Boax crystal . How did you get it?”

Dao’s ears flick, and they flash their teeth. “Trade.”

As if it’s that simple. Boax is inhospitable to the point that it’s forbidden to even land there. People still do, of course. The greedy and the desperate are willing to risk their lives to potentially return home with one of the legendary crystals. They’re rare enough to be rumor, but it’s said they can hold spells for such a duration that it might as well be eternal. To find one here , hiding a handful of ships on an island where no one comes…It’s fascinating, to say the least. “Good for you.”

Dao points to the ship on the far right. “Take that one.”

Cye bounds up with a bag that looks light enough to be empty, but when they pass it over, it nearly topples me. Siobhan comes up and snags it. “Thank you,” she says. “For everything. We won’t forget it.”

The two youngsters exchange a look and bow deeply enough that their tufted ears nearly brush the ground. “Thank you , C?n Annwn. We wish you luck on your journey and victory in your battles.”

Then they’re gone, bounding away with the chaotic energy of youth, disappearing into the trees in moments. Lizzie stretches her arms over her head and drapes one around Maeve’s shoulders. “Something you want to tell us?”

“No,” Siobhan says shortly. She eyes the distance between us and the ship. “We should be able to swim the distance easily enough.”

“Go. I’ll bring up the rear.” The better to help along anyone who struggles with the currents.

Siobhan nods and then she’s wading out into the water, the bag looped easily around her shoulders. Bastian and Evelyn follow, Bowen not far behind. Maeve pulls her pelt out and wraps it around her shoulders. In a shimmer of magic, the adorable redhead is gone, replaced by a large leopard seal. She boops Lizzie’s shoulder.

“I’m going,” Lizzie snaps, but she’s moving slower than normal. The vampire fears the water. It’s something I noted when she first started sailing with my crew, but she’s a proud creature and I like my blood inside my skin, so I only prod her about it periodically.

It’s still the height of entertainment to watch her sweet partner herd her into the waves like a wandering duckling. By the time she’s made it to deeper water, Maeve swimming circles around her body, the rest of the others have reached the ship.

I follow. There’s no need for magic. Honestly, it feels good to swim. For those few minutes it takes me to reach the ship, my mind is clear and there is nothing but the faint strain of my muscles and the steady sound of the waves. There’s part of me that wants to exist in this moment forever. We haven’t lost anyone yet. Bad things have happened, but we’ve prevailed. If I never reach the ship…

But I do.

Bowen extends a hand to pull me aboard, and he doesn’t even need magic to practically toss me onto the deck. I land easily and pull the water from everyone’s clothing to send it back where it belongs. “Let’s go.”

Bastian looks like he wants to argue, but the rest of them quickly move to their respective responsibilities. We won’t have a proper navigator for this, but we don’t need one unless things go catastrophically wrong—and then we’ll have bigger problems to worry about than being lost. All we have to do is sail directly west and we’ll come to the east side of Lyari.

I nod at Bowen. “I’ll fill the sails. You get us there.”

He takes up position at the helm, wrapping his big hands around the spokes of the wheel with something akin to reverence. Through all his time on the Audacity , I’ve never picked up on even a whiff of ambition, but it’s clear he misses being captain. If we survive this, there will be plenty of ships available for use. Maybe even his former one, the Crimson Hag .

There’s no time to waste. I walk to a good spot at the stern and slowly draw the wind streams to us. Just enough to fill the sails as we turn for open sea. We can’t see Lyari yet, but with my magic creating superficial perfect sailing conditions, we’ll reach it late tonight.

It’s an hour or two later when Siobhan comes to stand next to me. I’ve worked up a light sweat, but it’s a naturally windy day, so I’m using a lot less energy than I would otherwise. I don’t have to generate the wind from nothing, just nudge it in the right direction.

She doesn’t speak for a long time, and I give her the gift of silence. Maybe I should be like Bastian, demanding answers, but I’ve sailed with the C?n Annwn—and the rebellion, for that matter—long enough to realize that acceptable losses, no matter how much I hate them, are acceptable for a reason. There’s a decent chance none of us survive what comes next. I can’t let the fear of losing someone—of losing myself—stop us. Too much hangs in the balance.

Finally, Siobhan says, “Bastian’s not wrong.”

A shiver goes down my spine. For all my rationalizing, my immediate response takes me by surprise. “You are not going to Lyari to die.”

Siobhan huffs out a raw laugh. “No, Nox, I’m not going to Lyari to die.”

Her words do little to reassure me. I glance at her quickly before turning my attention back to the sails. It takes no effort at all to read into what she isn’t saying. “But you don’t think you’ll be with us afterward.”

Her breath hitches, but when she speaks, her voice is perfectly even and contains an edge I’ve never heard before. A noble’s accent, each syllable so crisp I want to sink my teeth into them. “There will be work to do after the rot is purged. I won’t be able to travel around with your merry band of sailors and indulge in a life of…whatever your plans are. If this is handled poorly, then we’ll end up with a worse situation than we have now. We need clear leadership.”

This time, I stare. It’s foolish to forget where she came from, to ignore the fact that she was heir before her sister killed their parents and attempted to kill her, too. Even so, she’s never pulled that shit in all the time I’ve known her. “And you’re the leadership we need. Siobhan, the noble C?n Annwn, who will lead all of Threshold into a new future.”

She lifts her chin. “Who else?”

My old anger surges forth, the still-healing wound of a young person who lost their love to responsibility tied to his noble blood. But I’m not that child any longer. I’ve lived too many years and seen too many things to let a broken heart confuse reality. I narrow my eyes. “Are you telling me that you intend to set yourself up as queen and savior of Threshold?”

“Of course.” She’s much better at lying than Bastian is, though that’s not saying much. They’re both terrible at it.

I shake my head. “If you don’t want a future with me, Siobhan, all you have to do is say so. No matter my feelings, I won’t tie you up in knots and demand you stay if that’s not what you want—but don’t bullshit me about playing queen when I can see the very idea practically gives you hives.”

“Nox.” Her breath shudders out and she turns away, wrapping her arms around herself. “You’re not making this easy.”

“I’m not trying to.” I urge a little more wind into our sails, making the deck jerk beneath our feet and Siobhan curse as she bumps into the railing. With a curse of my own, I ease just enough that we’re traveling smoothly. “You know, most sailors think it’s bad luck to talk about the future before a fight.”

She glances over her shoulder. “Oh, yeah?”

No. I’m lying through my teeth. But the thread of hope in her expression is enough to keep the lies spilling. “Yeah. Distracts you, makes you focus on the after instead of the now, which is a good way to get killed. Whatever it is you’re grappling with, we’ll deal with it after we blow this damn horn and save Threshold.”

It’s impossible to read Siobhan’s expression. There’s so much emotion in her honeyed eyes that it threatens to drown me. When she speaks, her voice is hoarse with things unsaid. “I love you.”

I hate that the words I’ve so longed to hear feel like she’s saying goodbye.