Page 21

Nox

It takes far less effort than I expected to sneak into the city. It’s been a few months since we’ve sailed this way, and that time hasn’t been kind to Kanghri. Trash is piled high on the edges of the road, and everyone moves around with shadows in their eyes and furtive looks over their shoulders.

At my side Bowen makes a rumbling sound of displeasure. “What happened here?”

I shake my head. “I don’t know.” There are no signs of an attack. If someone had come for the city, I would have heard about it. All of the C?n Annwn would have turned out to defend it. Or at least that’s the theory. They’re supposed to protect the civilians in Threshold, but how many times have I seen the C?n Annwn themselves be the perpetrators of harm? Even so, surely the Council wouldn’t allow this…

I fall back and let Bowen lead the way. We agreed the best route to find Dia’s current residence is to talk to one of Bowen’s contacts in the city. I’ve never personally dealt with zir, but the healer Cato has a reputation for being a pain in the ass.

Our route takes us from the outskirts of the city down toward the docks. Every step has tension riding higher in my body. I’m not dressed in my customary crimson—I haven’t been since we switched over the sails—but I still feel too exposed out here. Even with the buildings pressing close on either side of the narrow street we move along. Both Lyari and Mairi have neighborhoods around their respective docks that are run-down and dangerous to travel through after dark. Kanghri’s has always been more dangerous than both of them combined. Even so, I watch four different people be pickpocketed in the space of ten minutes. “That’s new.”

Next to me, Evelyn shivers. “It wasn’t like this even a few months ago.”

In response, Bowen puts an arm around her shoulders and tucks her in against his much larger body. If he was anyone else, the move would leave him open to attack, but when your mind is the weapon, I suppose you don’t need your arms as much. Or at least a normal person would view it that way. Even though he’s one of the most powerful people in Threshold—at least to my knowledge—he’s achingly aware that if something happened to his power, he would still need to be able to defend himself, so he’s nearly as fearsome with a sword as he is with his magic.

We finally stop before a door that looks identical to the others around us. Bowen doesn’t release Evelyn, but he shifts her slightly behind him so if something happens when he opens the door, he’ll take the brunt of the hit. Then he knocks in a series that I instantly memorize.

It isn’t the healer who opens the door to allow us entry. It’s Siobhan . And she doesn’t look happy to see me. Over her shoulder, I catch sight of an equally furious Bastian. “How?” I actually take a step back before I catch myself. I have no reason for the guilt that flowers in my throat, but no amount of logic can curtail the emotion…or the sudden desire to apologize.

“Yes, yes, you’re surprised to see us. Now get off the street and get in here.” She waves us into the shadowed interior of the house. Things are piled high across almost every available space, with the exception of a pathway someone made through the middle of it all.

I ignore my sudden urge to put as much distance between us as absolutely possible and instead follow Bowen and Evelyn into the darkness.

There’s one additional person waiting for us inside. Dia hasn’t changed much since I saw her last; she’s still a small old woman with arresting energy.

Bowen pulls her into a thorough but gentle hug. She returns it with no small amount of strength. “Bowen, my boy, it’s good to see you.” She reaches up to take him by the shoulders—he has to bend down to allow it—and holds him back so she can search his face. “You look well. The rebellion sits nicely upon your shoulders.”

Bowen, bless his heart, actually seems surprised. Even in the dim light, I can see his sudden blush. “You know about that?”

“The weeks since we last spoke have been incredibly…enlightening.” Her wrinkled face goes sober, the smile fading away. “It was a different time, sailing under Ezra. Even if we couldn’t control what the rest of the C?n Annwn did, at least on our ship there was a code of honor. I’d like to think we did more good than harm.” She glances at Siobhan and lets her hands drop from his shoulders. “But less harm is not no harm. There’s penance to be paid.”

Oh gods, not another one.

Bowen isn’t a bad man, but he was thoroughly consumed with the mission of the C?n Annwn up until only a few months ago. Evelyn was the one to snap him out of it, to make him question things that he’d always taken as truth, and who finally enlightened him on exactly what the C?n Annwn are. Since then, he’s been intent on rectifying the harm that he unwittingly committed. Obviously it’s not as simple as bringing the murdered monsters back to life, and his code of honor has become something he speaks about periodically, and it makes me roll my eyes so hard it’s a wonder I don’t pass out.

Honor is a fallacy. I recognize that having a code is valuable—I have one myself. But the idea that there may be a single unifying set of rules on what honor is and isn’t? It’s foolish. Naive, even. There are more cultures in this realm and all the others than I could possibly begin to count. Cultures with different values and systems and people. The idea of “honor” allowed the C?n Annwn to use their help to enable a massive overreach of power. They kill monsters and save the people of Threshold from harm. What is that if not honorable ?

The answer to that question depends heavily on whether or not they consider you a monster.

But Bowen will never be someone who embraces shades of gray when it comes to morality. Apparently Dia won’t, either. That shouldn’t have surprised me; he views her as a stand-in mother. Or grandmother, considering her age. Of course he picked up his viewpoints from somewhere. She and the last captain of the Crimson Hag raised him from his early teen years when they found him floating in the waters of Threshold. Naturally, he imprinted on them.

Bowen takes her hands in his larger ones and stares down at her intently. “You’re more than welcome on the Audacity .” I don’t correct him, but I do grit my teeth as he continues. “But we didn’t just come for that. We have some questions for you. You’re the only person I could think of who might have the answers.”

“If I have the answers, they’re yours.” She squeezes his hands and takes a step back, nearly knocking over a stack of what appear to be hats. I watch with bemusement as she picks up a pile of clothing and dumps it on the floor, sinks down onto the revealed rickety chair, and proceeds to start the process of rolling a blunt.

Bowen looks at me, and I’m only too happy to take the lead. I open my mouth, but Siobhan gets there first. Of course she does. The fact that she’s held her silence for this long is no small miracle. She glares at me and steps forward. “We have a question about an item held in Lyari.”

Bastian picks up the conversational thread without missing a beat, excitement lacing his voice. “There’s a massive horn in Lyari. It’s kept beneath the meeting chambers of the Council, locked up with the other specialized texts in the library. We think it has some connection to the originals.”

Dia’s silver brows rise. “You came all this way to ask me about a horn in Lyari?”

“How does one summon the C?n Annwn?”

Dia turns her attention to me, and while I expect there to be some kind of surprise or confusion in her dark eyes, instead they are narrowed and intent. “Why would you want to summon them? Best I can tell, you’re fleeing them currently. A whole fleet is quite the enemy to face.” She finishes her task and snaps her fingers at me. “Give me a light, dearie?”

I swallow down my sigh and lean forward to summon a tiny flame to light the end of her blunt. “I think you know we’re not talking about the faction who stole that title and used it to hurt the people of Threshold.”

She inhales deeply, gaze going distant, and then exhales a perfect circle. “I suppose I do know that. Regardless, that horn is dangerous.”

“That horn is marked with a language I’ve never seen before,” Bastian says slowly. “We have every reason to believe it links back to the originals.”

“It does,” Dia says simply.

Siobhan has the perfect stillness of a predator about to pounce. “How do you know where it came from?”

Dia smiles thinly. “My family has always kept particularly detailed records.” She taps her temple lightly with a single finger. “I’m old, and some of the records are faded, but give me a little while to think and I’ll come up with an answer—if I have one.”

I exchange looks with the others. Surely this old woman isn’t going to sit here and…Oh, apparently she is. She closes her eyes and continues to smoke, humming softly under her breath. Evelyn lets out a surprised laugh that she quickly stifles. “Oh gods, she’s going to her mind palace.”

Bowen frowns. “Her what?”

“Silence would allow this to go significantly faster,” Dia says without opening her eyes. She takes another puff and exhales the sweet-smelling smoke. Without turning, she offers it to me. “You look like you could use a little relaxing.”

Bastian makes a choked noise, but I don’t hesitate to take the blunt and inhale. I don’t smoke much, first because being a member of Hedd’s ship meant you had to sleep with one eye open. I might find the concept of honor laughable, but Hedd had none. He allowed his people to do whatever they pleased. The only rule was that if you had the strength, then you had the right.

I may be powerful, but I don’t look it. As a result, a lot of his people lost their lives at my hands. They thought they could abuse me, and I disabused them of the notion. Permanently. But that meant I couldn’t allow myself to let my guard down, certainly not with drugs or alcohol.

Since becoming captain, there’s been no space to relax. I’m at the top of the ladder, but that means everyone relies on me to keep them safe. Being a sloppy captain who engages in mind-altering substances is a good way to ensure I don’t deliver on the promise of my position. And that is a good way to end up voted out.

Almost immediately, a pleasant fuzziness gathers around my racing mind. I close my eyes and inhale one last time before taking Dia’s wrist and placing the blunt in her hand so she doesn’t have to open her eyes.

I barely register that Siobhan is moving before she takes my elbow and tugs me away from the others, to a remarkably clear corner where Bastian waits. Not quite out of earshot, but close enough that the others can pretend they don’t witness their hissing words in my ear. “What the fuck do you think you were doing, leaving us behind?”

I might not be able to summon my charismatic mask with my current stress level, but the drugs unwind me deliciously. I shrug easily and smile. “I would think that that was apparent. And yet neither of you follow orders all that well, do you?”

“Not particularly,” Bastian murmurs. “It’s one of my many charms.”

“How could I follow orders when you’re avoiding me and so have given none?” Siobhan looks like she wants to shake me, but thankfully manages to resist the impulse. “This won’t work if you keep going around me—around us—and taking unnecessary risks. We have to work together, Nox. All three of us.”

We.

With the whole of the C?n Annwn’s fleet on our heels, I have so much to worry about, so much to fear. And yet that single word, those two little letters, strikes terror into the very heart of me.